Yuki was asleep. His soft strawberry blonde hair hung half in his face, over his closed green eyes. He was exhausted from healing everybody, myself included, against all my better judgment. I had tried to refuse to let him take my pain away, but then he had threatened to run around outside screaming until all the nearby Duras came out, while I was treated by the creepy old pervert these people called a doctor. I hated it when Yuki healed my wounds, absorbing my pain and making it his own. It was my duty to protect him and make sure that he did not get injured, and yet every time he healed us, he was injured. He felt our agony as if it were his own while he healed us, and in the end, he ended up being hurt more than any one of his friends. And I contributed to that.

"Damnit," I growled, turning away from the bed and striding to the massive window in the opposite wall. Yuki had caught me escaping to my bedroom in the hopes that he wouldn't heal me. After my hopes proved false, he had passed out on the floor, so carefully I had lifted him up and laid him on my bed, pulling the covers up to his chin. I hadn't been, and still wasn't, in any dire need of sleep anyway.

The sky outside the window was clear and free of even the most wispy clouds. It was dark, strewn with millions of twinkling stars. The moon was no more than a thin sliver of white amidst its shining companions. You never saw anything like that in Infernus.

"Luka-kun?" Yuki mumbled being me.

I looked around over my shoulder. He was propped up on one elbow, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. His pale red hair was sticking up in the back from how he had slept on the pillow.

"Sorry," I said softly. "Did I wake you?"

"No," he denied immediately, though I had a feeling that he was lying so that I didn't feel bad. He frowned and looked around him. "Where…?"

Pink dusted his cheeks when he remembered what had occurred prior to his falling asleep.

"You fell asleep after you healed me," I told him, sitting by him on the bed.

"Why didn't you wake me?" he asked, pushing himself up from his slouch.

"You need rest," I answered readily. "I wanted to let you sleep."

"But I stole your bed."

A small smile twitched at the corner of my mouth.

"You fell asleep on the floor. I gave you my bed."

"Oh." His blush darkened. "Thank you, then."

"Of course."

I was hyper aware of Yuki right beside me, warmth emanating from his body and his brilliant emerald eyes raising goosebumps down my arms. Of course, he didn't notice my response to him. Yuki was so clueless, sometimes to the point of being dangerous to himself. Part of me was glad, though.

I loved Yuki, both then and now, whatever his gender may be. His spirit was the same, even if the body it inhabited was not, and it was that spirit I had fallen in love with. But maybe that spirit had moved on. Maybe Yuki no longer felt the same, and that was why she had been reincarnated as a male. Certainly, he could remember nothing about me, nothing at all, and he treated me like nothing more than family. Maybe she—he?—really didn't love me any longer. Maybe she had forgotten me on purpose.

"Luka?"

"Hm?" I responded, jerking out of my reverie. Yuki was looking up at me with big, concerned eyes. He reached out and caught my hand.

"What's the matter?"

I allowed myself a small smile. Maybe he wasn't entirely clueless after all. Yuki could always read me like an open book. That clearly had not changed.

"It's nothing," I lied.

He frowned.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay…" he sighed, obviously not believing a word. He started to pull his hand away. I wanted to stop him—to tighten my fingers around his—but I knew it wasn't realistic to try to hold the young boy's hand. So, I made no attempt to keep a hold of him, but Yuki must have sensed some level of distress from me, because he relaxed and left his hand in mine.

I wondered if he had gotten enough rest. He had expended an awful lot of energy healing all of our wounds, and some of us had been hurt pretty badly.

"I'm fine, Luka," Yuki said quietly. I looked down to find him smiling at me. "Really."

His smile made something tug at my heart, just like it had in a previous life.

"You're sure?" I checked. He nodded. "That's good. I don't like it when you heal me."

I should have known better than to say it like that. Really, for Yuki, I should have phrased that differently. His shoulders tensed and hunched forward slightly, and his hand fell slack in mine.

"Luka, do you hate me?"

The question was so blunt and out of nowhere that I whipped my head around fast enough to get a sharp, burning pain in my neck.

"What?" I said incredulously. He looked taken aback by my response.

"Do you hate me?" he repeated, casting his gaze down at our hands. "It's just that…I always insist on healing you, even though you don't want me too. Do you…I mean…Why? Why can't you rely on me like the others?"

I could find no words to describe my shock. Yuki…thought I hated him? That I couldn't rely on him? What on earth had I done or said that went so terribly wrong that he would even consider such an impossibility?

"Yuki," I said hoarsely. "You fool, I could never hate you."

"Then why can't you let me heal you, without putting up such a fight all the time?" he mumbled. "You always say you're fine, even if it's obvious you're not, just so I won't heal you."

"Yuki, look at me," I said firmly.

He did, and I was horrified to find that his brilliant green eyes were shining damply with tears. I took my fingers from his, framing his jaw line with both of my hands. His skin was warm and smooth and flawless, as it had always been.

"Yuki, I don't like it when you heal me," I began, and he flinched. "But not because I can't or don't rely on you. I want to protect you, Yuki. My only reason for even living is to keep you from getting hurt. But every time you heal someone, you absorb their pain and you make it your own. It goes against every fiber of my being to let you use that power. I could never hate you, Yuki, but I do hate ever being the reason that you feel pain. I hate your power, because it hurts you."

"Luka-kun…" he whispered, reaching up and wrapping his slender fingers around my wrists.

"Yuki, I rely on you more than you could possibly know," I told him roughly. "And I will never, ever betray you."

He pulled my hands away from his face, setting them in his lap and tracing patterns on my palms with his thumbs. His bright green eyes held the smile that curved his lips.

"I'm glad," he admitted softly. "But Luka…you shouldn't worry so much. I heal you all because I want to. I absorb your pain, but it isn't like I'm actually taking on your wounds. I'm fine."

I looked at him, a deep sadness unfurling inside my chest.

"You're so much like her, Yuki," I said softly. He made a surprised noise. "She had little regard for her own wellbeing too. She always told me not to worry about her, but that was when I worried the most. You both go out of your way to help others, without thinking about how it could affect you. Because that's the only time that you feel needed. But Yuki, people do need you. People do care about you. I do. And it kills me that you don't understand how precious you really are, not just as the Light of God, but as you."

My throat felt unusually thick, and I clenched my fingers around his.

"Luka, I—"

"Don't," I cut across him, certain he was going to apologize. "Don't say that you're sorry."

"Okay, then I won't. Can I say something else, though?"

"Of course you can," I assured him.

"That's the most you've ever talked about her to me."

I blinked, and realized he was right. I'd never talked about his previous life with him before.

"You really loved her, didn't you?"

His voice was sad. I looked away. Part of me wanted to say I still do, but I knew that would be foolish. Yuki could never feel the same as me, I knew that. I didn't want to cause Yuki any more trouble than I already had.

"It must have been a shock," he said quietly, his tone deepening as his sorrow did the same. "I mean, there you were, expecting to find the woman you loved, and instead you found me. A fifteen-year-old boy."

"Yuki, what are you—" I began, but he interrupted me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I told you not to apologize," I said automatically, before I realized what he was apologizing for.

"Sorry," he said again.

I pressed my lips together, gaze fixed on the window and past it, to the scene outside, even though I wasn't really seeing any of it.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I told him gently. "It isn't your fault that she moved on."

"Moved…on?" he echoed, confused.

"I wondered, at first, if Yuki's soul had moved on, away from me, and that was why she was reincarnated as a male. Because maybe she didn't love me anymore, and this was her way of trying to show me gently. After being with you for so long, I'm sure of it."

"Luka, what—"

"I've accepted it," I interrupted, though I don't know how convincing I was. Yuki clearly saw right through me, because his hands tightened, fingers lacing through my own. I glanced down at our clasped hands in surprise.

"You're wrong."

I raised my eyes to meet his. His shining hazel eyes were glowing softly in the silver light pouring in through the open window.

"You're wrong," he repeated, giving me a small smile. "She didn't move on. I may not remember my life when I was her, but…but I can still feel her. I feel the same things that she does."

"I…Yuki…What you're saying…" I said, struggling to find the right words.

What he was saying? What was he saying? I didn't understand.

"She…still loves you," Yuki said softly, and this time it was his gaze that lowered. "…I do."

I blinked. Time seemed to stand still. Suddenly, I was acutely aware of Yuki's warm hands in mine. Of how soft his skin was. How shy, how open his gentle face looked. Had I heard right? Could it possibly be true? That Yuki's soul truly hadn't forgotten about me?

"Yuki…" I said hesitantly.

"Sorry," he said abruptly. "I shouldn't have said anything. I'll leave you alone."

He tried to stand, taking his hands out of mine, but I didn't let him. I gripped his fingers in a steely hold, keeping him where he was. In the next instant, I didn't think of Yuki according to his gender. I thought of him as the host of the soul I was so deeply in love with. The sparkling hazel eyes, shining with emotion. The perfect, fair skin stained dark red across delicate cheekbones. The tiny hands in mine.

"Yuki, what body you inhabit doesn't change how I feel," I told him firmly, sensing the reason behind his timidity and taking his jaw in my palms. "I fell in love with your heart, not your body."

"Luka—"

I didn't give him the chance to speak past that. Gently, I pressed my lips to him, slanting my mouth across his. He gave a startled gasp, but made no attempt to pull away. Slowly, his eyes drifted shut and he leaned up, into me. My thumbs stroked his cheeks lightly, and the color there darkened further. With patience, I coaxed him into moving with me.

It was just like kissing her. He had the same soft lips, the same smooth skin, the same quiet exclamations. I slid my fingers through his strawberry blonde hair, knotting them through the soft locks. My heart was racing in my chest, swelling until it was painful, and my fingers trembled powerfully. I'd given up any hope of ever being with Yuki the way I wanted again. To be where I was right then…

I broke the kiss, only then realizing that I was short of breath. While taking deep, even breathes, I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against Yuki's.

"I don't care what your gender is, Yuki," I promised him. "I love you. Only you."

"I love you too," he murmured shyly. "Luka-kun."

He shifted, nestling his face in the curve of my neck and enveloping my waist in his slender arms. I cradled the base of his head with one hand, and wrapped my other arm around his slim shoulders. His breath feathered across the bare skin of my collarbone, past the neglected top buttons of my shirt. I tightened my arms around him.

"I will never betray you, Yuki," I vowed. He chuckled.

"I know," was his answer.

We stayed that way for what felt like a long time, sitting on my bed, my arms around Yuki the way they hadn't been for far too long. I couldn't describe the joy I felt, being allowed to hold the one I loved again when I had lost all hope that we had any future together. As the time passed, Yuki's hold on me began to fall slack. His breath against my skin was longer and deeper as well.

"Yuki?" I checked quietly. I was met with a soft snore.

I smiled softly, leaning back so that I could brush his hair out of his sleeping face. He really had drained himself that day. Carefully I disentangled myself from his arms and laid him down on the bed. I leaned back on the headboard, pulling Yuki firmly against my side and cradling his head. In his sleep, he stirred and he landed his head on my chest like it was a really hard pillow, nuzzling his cheek against me. Slowly, as I ran my fingers over Yuki's cheek and neck, my eyelids began to droop.

For the first time in what felt like a very long time, I fell into an absolutely dreamless sleep.