AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, before you continue, there is something I need to explain about one of the plot points of this fic. I'm 100% aware the Goa where Naomi buys the tickets is IN INDIA. Yet, within the canon of the show there are two places mentioned that Naomily intended to visit: Mexico and Goa. In my research prep for this fic, I was able to pull up two Goa locations: one in India, and one in Guadalupe, Mexico. Before I began this story, the only real canon research I managed to do was what was in the show itself. I felt like going outside of that would detract from the authenticity of the characters. So as far as locations go I had a choice to make. I went with Goa, Guadalupe, Mexico. I found out later that Naomi had indeed bought tickets to INDIA, but by that time, my canon was already set into motion. I apologize in advance if this bothers some people, but the story now is what it is. Also, I am American and I do my best with the slang. If I botch it somewhere, my apologies. Hopefully, these minor details can be either accepted or overlooked in order to enjoy the overall story this fic has to tell.

And now, enough of my rambling. Please read, review, and enjoy!

CHAPTER ONE: Paperweight

Freddie's shed. Somewhere I had never even been and said as much as Katie led Thomas and I through the front door like a housewife escorting her guests. Despite the loud noises that had filtered through the shafted openings of the weather beaten building, there didn't appear to be much of a party going on inside. The company was clearly lit, the entire place reeking of stale pot, but not much else was going on other than the syphening of drinks and poker cards. I slumped my purse off into the corner while JJ piped up an invitation to a round of ace of truth. For fuck's sake, we just finished college, do we still have to play middle school games? It was the last thing on this planet I felt like participating in, despite my sister's sudden smile to suggest we'd be otherwise interested. "Who's gonna start?" JJ inquired. As if on cue, the door opened, and a draft that wasn't from the outside wind filled the room. My head turned and my eyes locked on Naomi as she walked in, trepidation in every step.

"I will." I hadn't seen my...girlfriend?...since that morning...when I had found the courage to look her in the eye, and admit that I had never stopped loving her in spite of all the shit she'd put me through. All the tears, all the wasted hours of sleep, the number of arms she almost pushed me into when I truly lost my sense and only wanted to make her jealous. I told her I loved her...and she told me not to lie. As if that hadn't been bad enough, she walked out of our bed, muttering that her mother would be home soon and that she wanted me to leave. She'd left me cold in our bed, for the third and final time. What could she possibly have to say to change any of that?

"I've loved you from the first time I saw you. I think I was 12."

The entire room fell silent, everyone else seemed to be as stunned by the admission as I was. Twelve?

"It took me three years to pluck up the courage to speak to you and I was so scared of the way I felt, you know, loving a girl."

But you never spoke to me...I didn't think you knew I existed... It was like the entire room was sucking out all of my air as Naomi continued, the tears beginning in her eyes.

"I learned how to become a sarcastic bitch just to make it feel more...I screwed guys to make it go away. But it didn't work. When we got together it scared the shit out of me because you were the one person who could ruin my life."

Fuck...

The music died away and I wasn't sure if someone had turned it off or if my ears were ringing into such focus that even the shadow of my twin standing between us wasn't enough to offset the words Naomi had just admitted.

"I pushed you away, I made you think things were your fault, but really I was just terrified of pain."

My arms started to ache with want to reach out to the quaking, beautiful mess in front of me, but something kept me rooted to the spot. Pride? Anger? Jealousy?

"I screwed that girl Sophia to sort of spite you for having that hold on me, and I'm a total fucking coward because I got...these..."

She reached into her bag and pulled out...

"These tickets to Goa for us three months ago..."

My breath caught as I stared down at the transatlantic getaway that we had planned on before this happened. Before I knew about anything that was going to blow my entire world apart. When all I knew was that Naomi was mine, and I loved her, and we were going to go away together, to escape into another world. She'd thrown the idea in my face that day on the green, saying the trip was my idea, not ours, just another excuse for her to feel trapped by us. And she'd bought them...three months ago...

"I couldn't stand...I didn't want to be a slave to the way I feel about you. Can you understand?"

The question cracked as she trembled. Her face shimmered with tears, and I knew mine was just as wet. Now I knew why I couldn't move, because taking one step forward would push us back together, into the embrace I knew I wanted but was still afraid to give myself. Could I forgive her? Move past all this and forgive us both?

"You were trying to punish me back and it's horrible. It's so horrible because really...I'd die for you."

The confession acted like an explosion in my chest that made my buckled knees shake. I did my best to button my lips so that the entire room didn't hear my voice shatter from my internally crushing sobs. For fuck's sake, Naomi...

"I love you. I love you so much it's killing me."

I waited. I waited and thought and trembled and allowed myself to get lost in Naomi's sea-barren eyes. The pleading within them immediately overwhelmed me. I glanced off into the corner as I struggled with what to do next, until it hit me with the strength of a high-powered locomotive. My fingers reached her before any other part of my body and I pulled her into a kiss so salty that it felt like I was drowning. Drowning out everything apart from the entwining of absolution that we were allowing ourselves. When our lips parted, I pulled her down into my arms and squeezed until neither of us could breathe.

"Fuck, Cook," I heard Effy snort. Turning over my shoulder I saw her yank a dangling spliff from Cook's mouth and deeply inhale. "Turn the music back on. This is supposed to be a party, yeah?" The sandy haired boy cast Naomi and I the wickedest smile as he flipped the radio volume to full blast.

"That's what I'm talking about!" he barked over the music, pulling everyone to their feet and making them jump around. Grabbing a bottle of tequila, Cook shoved it in our direction, "Good times, come on, Naomikins," he beamed and hopped off to start dancing with Katie. She brandished the liquor with a small smile, but we both felt the line of hesitance. I knew what she was thinking. I always knew what she was thinking. We'd made up, or were in the beginnings of it, but the talking...so much talking...it needed to happen. I nodded.

"Later," I assured her, wrapping one free arm gingerly around her neck as I took the bottle from her fingers and knocked back a solid swallow. I did my best not to choke on the stoutness of the tequila as the bottle shifted from my hand and I watched with envy as the spicy liquid past over Naomi's lips and down her throat. Capturing her mouth with mine, I could taste the alcohol on our tongues as mine begged for entrance. With gentle force I was pushed back against the now vacant sofa never losing my hold in the kiss. A sweet sound of genuine laughter passed between us as we nearly collided atop one another. I felt rather than heard Naomi request, "Kiss me," as my targeted lips sought to do nothing else for the rest of the evening. Well, that wasn't entirely true...

Fleeing the shed after only an hour, and only three or four shots in, Naomi's hand intertwined with mine as we approached my moped. I'd only thought to bring one helmet. Handing over the heavy, red metal object, I insisted, "I'll wear the goggles. You'll just have to hang on tight," before we got into a back and forth over who would wear it. She kissed me with the level of passion that had manufactured our exit in the first place, murmuring against my lips,

"I love you."

"I love you, too," I whispered, slipping my tongue in to tango atop hers, pulling tightly at the jacket that draped her shoulders. I pulled away long enough to ask, "Mine or yours?" Clasping the helmet over her head, a hopeful half smile appeared on the lips I had just plumped with desire.

"How about ours?" I forced myself from bursting into smile to allow my cheek a teasing advantage.

"Back to calling it that now, are we?" Unfortunately the comment had the opposite effect as I watched her entire demeanor shift. My hand slipped back into hers and I squeezed it affectionately. "Sorry," I corrected, "bad timing. Was just trying for a laugh."

"That's funny to you?" Naomi bit, clearly hurt by the indication. Normally her tart tone would spur me into popping right off, but before I could even open my mouth, she was speaking, "No, I know. I'm sorry...I'm...I'm going to try to not do that anymore. Well, with you anyway. When it comes to Katie I make no promises." The humor in her tone rested happier in the air between us as I slipped my legs over the side of the moped and situated myself. Following suit behind me, I felt Naomi's arms wrap around my waist and almost immediately felt a spike in my center. I exhaled, shutting my eyes to enjoy the twinge of my libido, and cranked the ignition. The engine roared beneath us as we sped off into the night.

I felt the wind fly from my lungs yet again as my back collided with the front door, Naomi's body pressed against mine so forcefully that I could swear she was trying to meld us together. Hot lips scorched my neck as Naomi fumbled in her pocket for the keys, struggling to slip them into the lock. I laughed. "You've gotta have better aim than that," I moaned into her ear, "Has it really been that long?" The woman atop me smiled into another kiss as she affirmed,

"Can I help it if you're practically burning me up from the inside?" The erotic imagery caused me to swallow hard as I heard the lock finally click. The door flung open and it took everything in me to keep my balance and pull us inside. Taking my turn, I kissed Naomi's body against the door, shutting it behind us. My victory, however, was short lived as I was immediately pushed backward toward the stairs. We only made it up a few of them before I stepped on a cracked picture frame. Opening my eyes for the first time since we entered the black duplex, I could see the shadows showcasing the remnants of the place.

"Jesus, Naomi, what the fuck happened! The place looks like it's been-"

"Raided," she finished for me. "Cops came by looking for Cook. Made a right mess of things." A pang of guilt spiked in my stomach. I wanted to deflect Naomi's incoming lips and talk about what had gone on, what had happened between the early and later hours of the day to bring us right to this moment. But a louder voice in my head was reminding me that my libido...and heart...wanted my brain to fuck off.

Once we reached the top of the stairs, I grabbed two handfuls of Naomi's gray cardigan and practically tore the fabric off her shoulders, kicking my shoes aside as I did so. Tops simultaneously came next as my feet went into autopilot, stringing us into the bedroom with nothing more than the spell of my lips. The back of my knees hit the side of the bed as my left leg made sharp contact with something just below. The noise echoed through the bedroom like dynamite as Naomi pulled away from me, her hooded eyelids resonating what could've only been taken as fear as we simultaneously realized that I had inadvertently knocked my suitcase. The suitcase I had intended to come back for once I had made my appearance at Freddie's birthday party. Come for and never looked back. The scorching heat between us started to simmer as Naomi backed up a few feet. My hands shook at the loss of contact, and I immediately wanted to pull her back to me. "Say something," I heard her whisper.

The streetlight just outside our bedroom window flicked on, bathing us in fluorescent light from the open blinds. Gone were Naomi's moonlit features, and I couldn't bear to look at that fear anymore. The joy we were experiencing was not going to be marred by moments ago what ifs, so I went to the window to throw the curtain shut and turned back to...my girlfriend. My fingertips drew a line across her chin as I beckoned her eyes to me. Tears were already forming and I felt the knot in my throat start to swell. She really was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She leaned in a few inches, eyes stirring me closer until I pulled her in for a kiss. It was soft, gentle, and slow as if we were trying to re-remember everything about that first kiss when we were fourteen. How our lips had fumbled for a few moments before finally meeting in a rhythm that had startled us both. I had intended to kiss Naomi that night, but I had never dreamed she would kiss me back. Four years later and there was still more I could discover in this window to her soul. It was worth saving, it always had been. "Guess you're the only one that has to pack for Goa," I finally answered.

A sob escaped into the air, although for the briefest moment I wasn't sure which of us it came from. I felt her arms envelop me as our skin made contact, save only for our clothed breasts. It wasn't long before she nestled into the crook of my neck and I could only pull her closer to me as her face buried itself in my hair. Shutting my eyes, I stroked the blonde hair that had been the color of so many of my dreams and fantasies. "Please-" she whispered before morphing our lips into an intimate embrace. Again I made contact with the bed as Naomi's body crashed us down onto the comforter.

Things sped back into a frenzy as the remainder of our clothes were shed to the bedroom floor, and our naked bodies were covered now merely by the slivers of moonlight that poked into our haze. My hands roped the back of Naomi's neck as I pulled her on top of me, feeling my wetness ignite with the kisses that were trailing down my neck and to my collarbone. I shifted my hips so that my legs were wrapping around her ankles. I stilled as my chest was met with chill upon loss of contact. Those big blue eyes were still shimmering with the remains of her tears as Naomi muttered, "Please let me." Now I knew what she wanted...what she was asking for just a moment ago. It was the strangest, most wonderful feeling in the world to have someone you wanted so desperately to ask permission to be with you. I was so overcome with the request that didn't even try to contain myself as I have her my gunshot answer.

"Make love to me, Naomi." Haste turned to need as I felt our lips and tongues ravish each other again, our bodies shaking from the anticipation as well as the grinding friction. Naomi's chest pressed harder into mine as our breathing increased between gasping kisses, and soon my head was spinning as I felt the familiar trace of fingers down my side and around to my inner thigh.

"Emily." My name was a disappearing prayer as I watched Namoi's lips move from my neck, down my chest and toward the place where her fingertips were now tracing all around my hips. I had never felt such a wanting ache. When I finally felt myself taken by the combination of fingers and tongue I nearly exploded at the initial contact, not from climax, but from completeness. I cried out as Naomi's lips began their magic, flicking, tracing, lingering, and chilling every part of my center. The bed sheets were being torn from their edges as my hands grappled with them. Sounds of growing ecstasy escaped my lips that I had never made before. I could feel every ounce of her pouring into me as I climbed closer and closer to the edge.

I licked my lips to beg for more, but it was unnecessary. Before I could clear my throat, two fingers were buried deep inside me, their speed rapidly increasing. My growing moan ravished the air as my lungs threatened to explode from the exertion. My hips bucked in rhythm to the motions of the curled fingers, and my heart pounded so loudly that I was certain Naomi Campbell was going to shoot me straight into the stars. With a final thrust, my orgasm flushed over me like a tidal wave, and I shouted her name for the gods and devils of all worlds to hear and envy over what she had done to me. Arms wrapped around me, and feather kisses trailed across my shoulder. Blonde hair draped across my neck as Naomi cradled herself against me. I knew she was watching me. She'd told me on several occasions watching me come down was one of her favorite parts of our love-making.

So I decided to give her an eye-full. My eyes locked with hers so she could observe my pupils shrink from lust and replace with the love I had nearly ripped myself in half trying to hide from her over the last few months, trying to protect myself from the heartbreak that had ultimately followed regardless of my efforts. Until she crossed the threshold of Freddie's shed and begged me back into her life. All I had waited for was an extended hand. It's all I'd ever wanted.

Once I had hold of my breath again, my lips found hers and I exhaled an, "I love you," into them. I was surprised to hear another sob break from Naomi's lips, and I couldn't tell if I had said or done something wrong. Call it shell-shock, but I was pretty certain that wasn't the reaction I had been going for. Her hands reached up into my hair as she pulled me close to her, wrapping us into yet another intimate knot. "Hey," I whispered, "what is it?" I felt her start to tremble and then my worry started to give way to the beginnings of fear. "Is-is-this not what you want?" That did it. I was pretty sure I had broken her because now she was crying. Full on, non-stop crying. My shoulder and hair were nearly instantly drenched as her voice broke in succession. "Ok, all right, sorry, wrong thing to say right now."

"I've never not wanted you," she choked out, her hot mouth nearly inches from my ear, and in spite of myself, my body couldn't help but flinch with arousal at the wet heat. "I'm not running anymore, ever again." She was trembling now. I kissed her shoulder, tightening our embrace as I buried my own face into her neck.

"Is that a promise?"

Naomi's lips were kissing me harder and with more fervor than any other time that night as she muttered against them over and over again, "I swear."