PHILS DIARY

The thing with heartbreak, and loss, is that you are never quite the same as before. You can run away, you can kiss other boys, kiss bottles of vodka, do away with anything you please, but he will still be there. He will be there, in your veins, in your heart, your bloodstream. He is every dream, every smile, every laugh, every tear, it is all him. And it is both the worst and best thing that could happen to you.

And so the heartbreak, it will continue to crack, to clog, to break. It will weigh you down, cover you up, and close your eyes; before you know it he is still right there in front of you. And even if he is screaming at you, shouting, you don't care. You don't care because at least then you'll be on his damn mind. Can't he see I care? Can't he see I care with every single ounce I have in me, and more?

You taught me about fate, and you taught me to believe. Just please, come back to me and be okay Dan. I will live my life as a nightmare without you here to sing me to sleep.

Hey, Maddie here. I don't know where I stand, with myself or anybody else. Everybody tells me they can never tell if I'm okay, I keep everything to myself. I just miss him. If anything happens to me, tell me I love him. I really fucking do. It's killing me.

Love you all.