Have Kittens

SUMMARY: Sebastian finds a basket left on the steps of the Phantomhive manor. A beautiful kitten is inside, and she has a bright red ribbon tied around her neck.

GENRE: Romance/Humor
RATED: PG / K+
NOTABLE CONTENT: Suggestive Humor/Themes (aka. Grell being Grell)
PAIRING(S): (Slight) Grell/Sebastian

COPYRIGHT NOTE: I don't own Kuroshitsuji / Black Butler
STORY TAKES PLACE IN: Generally anytime during the series

Have Kittens
Aiselne P.N.

She was beautiful. Frankly, "beautiful" was not strong enough of a word to describe her majesty. Her supple body, her silky black hair, her enchanting eyes… Sebastian did not have much faith in God, but if it was He who made all living things, then God was an unparalleled artist for having designed her. She was breath-taking. She was perfect!

She was a cat, of course – kitten, technically, but youth did nothing to undermine her gorgeousness. And to think; she would only become more beautiful as she matured!

Lost in rapture, Sebastian almost forgot the wicker basket in which he found the latest object of his affection. Almost, that is. Cradling the kitten in his arms – and oh, how adorably she snuggled against his chest! – the demon butler knelt down in order to more attentively inspect the cat's basket. Soft, plush fabric lined the bottom, offering a comfortable bed for the kitten's transport. Otherwise, the basket was empty. No food or water was visible, though Sebastian would see to that soon enough.

As precious and brilliant as the kitten appeared to him, Sebastian could not ignore the obvious question: where had she come from, and specifically, who left her on the Phantomhive doorstep? Stray cats did not come packaged in pretty baskets, nor were they nicely groomed and adorned with a cute red ribbon to complete the ensemble—

Noticing said ribbon around the kitty's neck, Sebastian retrieved a folded piece of paper that had been nestled between the bow and cat's fur. Whoever left the cat must have written the note. Shifting the cat into one arm, the demon then used his free hand to open and read the anonymous message.

The note did not remain anonymous for long. All Sebastian needed to see was the gaudy red ink, smell the excessively perfumed paper, and peruse the over-ornate calligraphy that spelled the last words Sebastian wanted to see first thing in the morning:

Dear my beloved Sebas-chan~

The demon's mood began to sour rapidly; such a shame since Sebastian's new cat had made him feel so jovial a moment ago. That damned shinigami certainly knew how to ruin a moment. But before Sebastian's gag reflexes could be tested further, he stole a look back down at the little creature against his arm. It was difficult to stay mad whilst in the presence of such a divine feline. And obviously, she would not be here in Sebastian's arms if not for the red-loving author of this letter.

He expected to regret the decision later, but with a sigh, Sebastian returned his gaze to continue reading the rest of the message. Whatever were the circumstances (or ulterior motives) for this morning's surprise delivery, Sebastian might as well hear (or read) Grell out.

If you're reading this letter, then you must have found the darling little present I left you. Do forgive me for not delivering it in person, but Will has been keeping me unreasonably busy lately. He can be such a slave driver! Not that I'm against playing the part of slave, but it's not nearly as fun when you take the cat-o'-nine-tails out of the equation…

Sebastian was two seconds away from tossing the letter into the most readily available fireplace (and subsequently seeking a way to rid his memory of the brain-stabbing images). Grell's note had better get to the point. Now!

But I'm afraid we must save foreplay for another time~ I'm already ten minutes behind my next job, but I just had to send you this message, Sebby! You were the first person I thought about the moment I found this kitten (of course, you're always first in my thoughts~).

Ignoring the latter, Sebastian finally began to take the note seriously when his cat became the message's main subject.

Her mother died earlier this morning. No offense, Sebby, but for such intelligent creatures I'd expect felines to know better than to dart out in front of a moving carriage. Animal souls are usually left for rookies, but William's been relegating me to these lackluster jobs since he demoted me again for— Well, let's not get bogged down with minute details, shall we?

I'm not an expert with animals (although if we're speaking metaphorically, I love taming wild animals! Unless you'd prefer to tame me~). Anyway, I haven't the foggiest idea whether or not kitty was part of a litter. If she had a family, they weren't anywhere in sight when I found her. You could say I pitied the poor thing, but really, it was the stunning colour of her fur that reminded me of you, my beautiful black butler~

I know you adore cats, and this little one needs a home. Babies don't live long without their mothers; I've seen it happen countless times. There is no doubt in my mind that you'll treat her like a princess, the lucky little thing. Name her whatever you like! I'm partial to Kera, myself, but I'm sure any name you choose will be simply charming~! May this sweet kitten herald the future when we shall have children of our own, daddy dearest~!

Too self-composed to vomit (or rather, too experienced in stomaching Grell's delusions), Sebastian perused the letter's remainder. He half-expected there to be a hidden clause subliminally printed within the document: "Acceptance of this cat implies the receiver's consent and understanding in his obligation to become the immediate legal husband to one Miss(ter) Grell Sutcliff until death do you part which will never happen because your wife is a grim reaper and she has access to very sharp weaponry that can haul your soul to and from the afterlife so don't even think about trying to get out of this one because you're not going anywhere, Sebby!" …Or something.

But no matter how many times Sebastian checked and double-checked Grell's letter, there was no evidence of strings being attached. It went without saying that Grell over-thought his kitten-present to death~, but was it overly different from the shinigami's everyday attempts on Sebastian's heart? The only difference about this morning's affair was how Sebastian got his very own cat – one of the few gifts that the centuries-old demon truly coveted.

Demons took instead of received. Humans "offered" their souls to him, but those were business transactions rather than acts of charity. The very notion of gift-giving to devils was laughable, Sebastian being no exception. By principle, even he did not accept anything without expecting to work or pay a price. "I will do this for you if you do that for me." Such was how contracts worked.

But… as Sebastian gazed affectionately at his purring present, the demon realized that this cat was no "contractual" obligation. Knowing Grell, the squealing shinigami would expect at least a kiss or whatnot as thanks for giving Sebastian such a thoughtful pet. The reaper probably would (did) overanalyze Sebastian's acceptance of the cat as an implied acceptance of the redhead. It was no worse than Grell's usual fantasies. Technically, he was entitled to his perverse opinions as long as Sebastian got what he himself wanted.

Besides, the raven-haired man could not recall the last time someone gave him an unconditional gift. Maybe he had been in the company of humans for too long, but Sebastian would have lied if he claimed the cat was the only source of his good spirits.

And with that, I bid my beloved farewell! Don't miss me too much, Sebas-chan~. Be sure to think about me – and about us – whenever you look at our precious kitty.

All my love,

~your Grell

Bypassing the possessive adjective, a ghost of a smile tugged the corner of Sebastian's lips. Only now did Sebastian notice that his new kitten's golden eyes sported a faint but lovely hint of emerald green. She had her father's hair and mother's eyes, and Sebastian could feel exasperated (and embarrassed) heat warm his cheeks. He refused to accept the remote possibility that the flamboyant reaper was growing on him. But like it or not, the demon knew his cat would always remind him of a notorious redhead.

P.S. And yes, I know your little master is allergic, and tell him I send my regards. Unfortunate circumstances tend to befall someone who promises a date and doesn't uphold his end of the bargain. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, Sebas-chan. Kisses~!

Indeed, Ciel would have kittens upon discovering Sebastian's newest idée fixe, especially after the earl evicted the previous felines that had been stashed in his butler's closet (So cruel, bocchan!). Sebastian would have to be more discreet with his and Grell's "secret child," and…

…Dear gods, Sebastian did not just think that, did he?

Crumpling the furnace-fated letter into his pocket, Sebastian then proceeded indoors with the animal and basket in tow. For a cat, Sebastian would happily assume the role as doting father. Passively humouring Grell was a small price to pay. Parents always made sacrifices for their children, after all.

Besides…

"My darling Kera," Sebastian swooned, tickling the back of her sensitive ears. Such softness! "It brings me great pleasure to welcome you into the Phantomhive family. You will be treated most wonderfully here. In exchange, all I ask is that you follow one simple rule."

It mattered not if the animal understood his words, though Sebastian held the highest confidence in feline intelligence. With one finger before his dastardly smile, Sebastian cocked his head slyly. "As a young lady, you must be discreet. I can tell that you will behave accordingly, but as a word of caution: kindly refrain from making any unseemly ruckus or disarray. There is no need for anyone else to know of your presence here. I'm afraid bocchan does not share my fondness for your kind."

The demon's smile broadened.

"And if it would not be too great an inconvenience, let us keep this arrangement a secret from your adopted 'mother' as well." Sebastian could not stop himself from winking devilishly. "After all, my master would never allow me to possess a cat in his mansion."

What Ciel and Grell did not know would not hurt Sebastian. The demon was incapable of lying, but that did not mean Sebastian had to volunteer the truth, either. Don't ask, don't tell.

Kera seemed to purr in acknowledgement, happily content in her new guardian's arms. Their secret was safe. If only the innocent kitten knew precisely how much of a devil her father really was. "Mreow~"

"That's my girl."

The End

A/N: I just adore Sebastian and his weakness for cute, cuddly cats. If he were my butler, I'd let Sebastian keep as many felines as he'd want (especially if one of those kitties happened to be a certain Cheshire cat. Meeeow~!). ;)

"Kera" is an alternate version of the name Keara, which means "dark" or "black." It kinda reminded me of "kuro," thus the name choice.

Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this one-shot, especially since it's my first attempt in the Kuroshitsuji fandom. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated. :)

…and Happy New Year 2013!