Limping with the aid of his cane, Tim gets out of the taxi that has just brought him to the Navy Yard, mere steps from the front entrance to NCIS. It has been a month since the nightmare that was his biological father tore his life and the lives of everyone around him to pieces and every day of that month has been spent in layers of guilt wrapped in the pain of his physical road to recovery. He is still facing at least three more months of rehab on both his shoulder and his knee. Every day, the worry crosses his mind that one or both injuries will not heal properly, forever costing him his career as a field agent.

However, that worry pales in comparison to the laundry list of things for which he cannot shake the absolute responsibility; the weight of these barely allow him to get out of bed in the mornings; the weight that no passage of time seems to ease or lift away. Everything from the innocent lives lost at Lucas Martin's hands to the death of Martin himself, now irrevocably on his mother's conscience. He knows that none of this would have happened if he had made different choices back in December. He should have gone to Gibbs for help or at least taken Ducky's advice much more to heart. Now these poor decisions serve to keep the weight of that guilt squarely on his shoulders. There is no relief in sight, then again, he doesn't feel he deserves any relief.

Deep down there's a piece of him that firmly believes the guilt is his just desserts for causing this nightmare in the first place, as will be any lack of improvement in his physical recovery. No one has been able to shake that belief from him; those few who know him well realize he carries it with him everywhere he goes, every minute of the day. They have learned to let him work through that guilt in his own way, taking great pains not to address the topic at all.

Even his mother and sister have not been able to ease that burden from him, though with their array of phone calls and emails to him, they continue to try. It had been obvious when he was around them that the guilt would build to almost epic proportions until it nearly drove him to reckless attempts to purge it through drinking or completely isolating himself from them before they had even left.

At the same time, since the day of Tim's release from the hospital, it has only been his team's relentless determination to be there for him that has kept things from progressing backwards into something worse than what it has become. Although he has never refused to see them, neither has he enthusiastically participated in their visits.

He has never been one to harm himself deliberately, but that has not stopped him from giving in to the relentless desire to get lost in the moments, without the constant new companions of guilt and pain that have become inseparable from who he is now.

Countless times, Ducky has scolded him back into some semblance of common sense after a rather short-sighted foray into drunkenness or desperate search for solitude that finds him locking himself away behind closed doors for hours at a time. It is these situations which bring Tim's teammates to the point of second-guessing themselves in their efforts to reach out to him.

Every one of those who know him best has come to understand that this Tim McGee is not the same man they knew before Lucas Martin escaped from prison just days before his scheduled execution. That Tim is gone for good and in his place is a jaded version who sees very little good in himself even as he continues to try to always see the good in those he knows. As for people he doesn't know well, it takes him longer to find the good than it used to, but the fact that he does continue to look for it gives them that hope for his future, which those other moments seem to steal away.

Much to the chagrin of his teammates, there are other unmistakable changes within the young man, including a far quieter and less engaging persona than the one they'd become close to working together all these years; one they'd thought they knew quite well. He seldom smiles, laughs even less and usually can't bring himself to look anyone in the eye when he does speak to them.

It hasn't taken them much time thinking about it to realize this new quiet Tim lives under one of the heaviest blankets – guilt – to overcome. The weight of it makes it quite difficult to hear voices of reason. Their continued attempts to spend time with him in their off hours have given them this insight, but not the ability to break through and help him.

Nevertheless, they are relentless in their efforts to show him that he is without a doubt still theirs, still important and always loved within their unique family.

Tim doesn't spend much time thinking about these events or how they've changed him, on a daily basis; hasn't since his release from the hospital. Rather, his hours seem to disappear as he deliberately loses himself in one of Ducky's novels. He finds it is only in the 'reading zone' or in the solitude provided by nature that his mind can try to dig its way out from under the blanket and even then, only in small steps. Luckily, along with the large number of books in Ducky's library, he's found an abundance of nature in the good doctor's backyard.

He rarely allows himself to think about what his mother and sister must be going through as they try to recover. That just reminds him of the mountain of guilt forever belonging to him that he's yet to attempt to climb He is however, beyond grateful for the help Ducky provided Sarah. With a lot of work, his sister has been able to stop blaming Tim, for the most part. They don't discuss it in their rare and stilted communications, each obviously feeling emotionally raw and silently agreeing that the discussion is off limits. He has been able to discuss it once briefly with Ducky. While it cleared some things up for Tim, it's a topic from which he's since stayed away.

Likewise, his conversation with Tony, which delved into the depths of how the ordeal affected the Senior Field Agent, has remained out of bounds for Tim's thoughts as well, since the night it took place.

Too much time spent thinking over that conversation brings Tim to tears; the thought of the anguish his team went through on his behalf – again, all because of his painfully bad choices, is too much to hold up under. Still he can't help but remember the hardest part of that conversation.

***Flashback***

"You wouldn't understand, Tony. This kind of crap never happens to you or Ziva or Gibbs or even Abby or Jimmy."

"So now you're psychic?"

Tim refuses to dignify that with an answer. Besides he knows he's right. Tony won't ever understand because Tony has never had the experience of finding out his true parentage is anything as twisted as Tim's.

"Probie. All jokes aside, man. What is it?"

Tim sighs."You're serious about wanting to help."

"Yes. I am. I promise you."

"Okay. But, this stays just between us, Tony. Don't even tell Ducky or Gibbs that I let you in. The last thing I want is to be the subject of some pow-wow or intervention between the three of you."

"I promise man."

Tim nods. "Pull up a chair. It's gonna take a while."

***End Flashback***

Blinking, Tim returns his focus to the here now as he ponders the realization that throughout all their visits with him since his release from the hospital, he and Tony seemed to have lost the ability to be as open with each other as they were in that one conversation. It's as if it had been too surreal to survive past the moment. Tim knows it's his own fault since he's the one who's retreated; gone into hiding from the world as much as possible.

Today is only different because something unusual has happened; that unexpected phone call with that unexpected directive. That's what has brought him here now. This change in what has become routine has also brought about a change in things he's thinking about. Suddenly, he finds himself thinking hard, about all of it and while it sharpens his focus; it also re-sharpens the pain in his heart; nearly ripping the band-aid completely off the wound.

Despite the renewed emotions rolling through him, the voice in his head, the voice of reason won't go away. It keeps reminding him that he needs to see his mom. He needs to tell her how desperately sorry he is for all she and Sarah had to endure; for the brush with death they had to experience and all the terror and fear for their lives that came with it. And all of that happened because of a decision he made on his own, despite intelligent, experienced advice to the contrary. He has to explain away the hurt she's experienced every time he's been unable to find comfort in her visits. Though she's never said a word, he saw it in her eyes, time and time again during her visits before they went back home to California and each visit he felt his heart break just a little bit more. He knows that voice is right, as is the one that reminds him that he needs to include his sister in that as well. But, He's just not ready for conversation that just yet.

Right now, all he can think about is how to get through this next ordeal. Before he can reach for the door handle, he is ushered into the building to be greeted by cheers and welcoming smiles from countless agents and other agency personnel, all of whom have worked with him or at least known him in his tenure with NCIS. He's embarrassed and decidedly nervous since he's still not comfortable with the idea that no one at the Agency blames him for setting the whole nightmare in motion.

That very subject is yet another mountain he has deliberately not attempted to scale since the evidence he's seen. His boss's absence since his release from the hospital has shown him how wrong people can be. His disappearance from his life these last two weeks has well underscored the reality. Still, standing here in the face of all of this unexpected happiness at his return to at least the building, if not duty, Tim remains speechless.

The crowd parts as it hushes, almost as if the Director herself has come to welcome him back, though he knows that wouldn't happen. He spares a thought to realize he's grateful that she has not attempted to see or talk to him yet. Looking up from his shoes, Tim is astounded to find Gibbs standing in front of him; he hadn't told anyone he was coming in this morning. Even more shocking is the broad smile sitting on the man's face as he speaks. "Welcome home, Tim."

As Tim processes the genuine welcome in these, the first words he's heard from this man in two weeks, his vision clouds as he recalls the last conversation the two of them had, with Ducky, the morning Tim was released from the hospital.

***Flashback***

"Let Ducky look after you, McGee."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you have a choice. "

"Your tone says I don't."

"Ducky or In-patient rehab. You can't sleep on anyone's couch with that shoulder and you can't climb the stairs at your place or anyone else's with that knee."

"Timothy, I promise to give you all the space you require to breathe feely and not have to talk if you don't wish to."

"Okay. Thanks. Both of you."

Blinking he returns to the here and now as he shakily accepts the hand held out to shake his own. "Thanks, Boss." He offers quietly.

"C'mon. The team's waitin' for ya upstairs."

"Boss, No. I can't…"

"Relax, McGee. It's just the team."

"Haven't exactly been nice to them lately." Tim admits as he enters the elevator with the Team Leader.

Waiting until the elevator starts to climb toward the upper floors, Gibbs snaps his office into play. In the semi-darkened box, he scrutinizes his agent. "You okay?"

"Not sure what okay is anymore." Tim admits somberly without looking at the older man.

"Look at me." The tone in the spoken words is part command, part softly spoken request and the concern is genuine.

After all that's happened, all this man has done for him, despite the silence these last two weeks, or maybe in spite of it, it's a struggle to look directly at Gibbs. However, his long ingrained instinct to follow the man's order takes precedence over anything else. He raises his eyes up off the floor, finding those cobalt blue orbs of honesty and stability he desperately needs right now, as they look at him as unwavering anchors.

"Ducky says you're still not eating." The boss informs him. In this, the first time he's laid eyes on the young man since his release from the hospital two weeks ago, he sees what the M.E. was referring to when they had discussed it earlier in the week.

"Jethro, Timothy is far from recovered from his ordeal."

"No one's rushing him, Duck."

"I'm afraid Timothy is rushing himself, although he is the also the one keeping himself from being further along in his physical recovery than he could be.

"He's sabotaging his recovery."

"I cannot get him to eat properly; in fact, he barely eats anything at all. He hardly sleeps for the nightmares that continue to plague him. And the only exercise he has pushed himself to do is simple walking around the house and my backyard. He needs more of all three before he can even hope to regain full use of his injured limbs."

What aren't you telling me, Duck?"

"Given Timothy's penchant for miring himself in guilt, I'm afraid this experience will bury him so deeply under the weight of it that we may never be able to retrieve him."

"Give him time. Soon as he realizes we've got his back, he'll start fighting back."

"I certainly hope so, Jethro. I certainly hope so.I believe that this lack of communication from you, his Team Leader, is not helping his current state of mind, however. The fact that I cannot get him to discuss his own ordeal only serves to sharpen my concern on the matter."

"I'll talk to him, Duck. After he's had time to pull himself together. He doesn't need a whole lot of people crowdin' him; tellin' him stuff he's not ready to hear."

"Jethro, I…"

"Not much of an appetite these days, Boss." Tim's flat toned answer interrupts the Team Leader's memory.

"Still letting that blanket keep you warm all day?"

Not sure what blanket the older man is referring to, all Tim can do is look at him blankly, as if the answer will just magically be revealed.

Instead, Gibbs has one more cryptic remark to add, knowing his agent will 'get it' then. "Ducky says you're wrapped in so tight at night, it's a wonder you're gettin' any sleep at all the way it invades your dreams, turning them into nightmares every night."

Tim looks away as he finally understands what the boss is referring to, unable to voice the obvious answer to that. He's already come to the realization that he's stuck in a vicious cycle as his guilt fuels his nightmares, which in turn, keep his guilt fresh on his mind and in his heart each morning.

"Want you to picture something."

Tim looks at him expectantly, knowing the man will finish the thought in his own way.

"Picture the look on your mother's face when she found out you were still alive after thinking you'd been killed by that dirt bag. I was there, so I remember it. Every parent's dream come true; getting a second chance."

Tim looks away yet again, blinking to clear his vision. He can't imagine what his mother went through and in fact, that's part of the soul-deep agony that adds so much weight to what plagues him now. It has insinuated itself into who he is now. He has no clue how to rid himself of it or if he even has the right to. Hearing Gibbs associate with what was happening as a parent, only deepens everything Tim's already feeling, this time, nearly taking his breath away.

Trying to give Tim some space to breathe, Gibbs flips the switch on the elevator, letting it continue on its way up to the squad room and decides it's time to play the devil's advocate. "Only you can decide to let it go, Tim."

A wave of anger surges out of Tim's mountain of emotions as those words slam into his worn and tattered soul. Now it's Tim's turn to flip the switch. He's never done it before, but he is so tired of being told he can just let this go as if it never happened.

How can anyone even think it's that easy? Do they really believe he wants to feel this way? That he wants to be responsible for all that happened? Don't they know him better than that? Didn't they know him at all? How would any one of them feel if they had the same experiences?

They have no idea what it's like to not be able to sleep at night without seeing images of loved ones being raped or innocent people being killed. He wasn't even there and it's still haunting him. After everything he let Gibbs in on about who he actually was, the end result of brutal rape, Tim never expected this man to just so casually announce to him that all he had to do was choose to let it go.

Gibbs hadn't expected Tim to stop the elevator, though he's secretly glad to see the young man react. It had been a gamble, pushing his buttons deliberately like this, but it was time for Tim to let himself feel something besides guilt. The Team leader looks directly at the younger man, unflinching even in the face of Tim's obvious fury. It seems the leash on the younger man's emotions has finally been released and this emotion, this fury that Gibbs' words have triggered, has roared to the surface.

"You think I want this? You honestly believe I want to feel this way? That I enjoy the nightmares and the screams I can't get out of my head when I try to sleep at night? I wasn't even there and their fear for their lives haunts me! You think I wanted my sister to be just a shell of her former self, for my mother to have to kill that bastard because I screwed up? For her to have to live through the fear of being raped again? What –so she can be reminded yet again of how this whole mess started 30 years ago? Of Sarah being raped right in front of her eyes?"

Silently Gibbs lets the younger man rant, knowing he needs to get it out, standing still for everything Tim needs to get off his chest while watching for the oncoming letdown he knows is coming, once his agent has run out of adrenaline and steam.

"Well, you're wrong! You're all wrong! Why can't you understand that? " Sure enough, it's not but a moment later that Tim's expression becomes one of horror. "Oh, God!" He mutters as he turns away from the man he's looked up to and counted on more than any other now in his life. Shame, guilt and remorse rob him of anything else to say as he stares up at the ceiling tile while trying to pull himself back together. He never meant to let anyone else feel the weight of his burden. He's tried to keep it away from them all. Oh, he knows he's failed miserably at it. But he also knows that until now it wasn't from lack of trying, but more that the burden is too much for any one person to bear, as he has stubbornly fought to do.

Silently, Gibbs gives him a minute to pull himself together before he reaches out and grasps Tim's shoulder in a show of support, with no rush to remove that support for the time being.

Realizing what the Team Leader is saying without saying anything at all, Tim looks back up at him expectantly.

Finally, when he knows Tim is ready to listen, Gibbs speaks, his tone quiet, yet firm enough that there is no mistaking how much he means what he's taking the time to say. "What I think, Tim, is that you're human like the rest of us and you made a judgment call with the best of intentions, one that backfired horribly. Doesn't mean you should punish yourself for the rest of your life.

Tim shakes his head. "Boss, the families…those men…Emily and Fornell…"

"They know it wasn't your fault."

"How can you say that?"

"McGee! You didn't kill anyone!'

"Just because I didn't pull the trigger…"

"You wanna tell Fornell that? It's his fault your sister was almost raped? Your mother, too? His fault she had to kill that bastard?" Gibbs demands angrily.

"What? No!"

"Why not, McGee? It's the truth! If he hadn't lied to us, none of you would have been let out of protective custody and none of this would have happened!"

"But his daughter…"

"Would have been killed. Point blank range right in front of him."

Tim pales at the visualization.

A long, strained silence descends and it's Tim that breaks it, his voice nearly whisper-soft. "And I'm supposed to be okay with that, too?"

"You're forgetting, you're not the one that stalked Diane until she showed up at Fornell's house with their daughter, McGee."

Tim remains silent as he attempts to process what he's being reminded of. Suddenly, he feels the need to clarify things. "I can't blame Fornell, Boss."

"But you should blame me." Gibbs replies unexpectedly.

Silence embraces them as Tim struggles to fathom what the older man is trying to explain. It's a long minute before it's broken. It's the Team Leader's need to remind him of something that's been left unspoken that affords them the break.

"I owe you an apology, Tim."

Immediately, Tim's eyes seek those of the one who rarely utters those words or even those he'd spoken the moment before. "Boss?"

"I broke my own rule; made that call to Mike so he'd send you home without double checking the facts. You getting caught up in the crossfire; us almost losing you…" Gibbs can't even finish his sentence, his eyes close in silent despair. Opening his eyes back up, he forces himself to finish. "I am sorry, Tim."

Gibbs reaches over and flips the elevator switch back on, pushing the button for the bottom floor while he takes his phone out of his pocket. Flipping it open, his eyes locked on the row of buttons on the wall in front of him, he hits the speed dial number he needs. "Need you to meet me out front. Yeah. Now."

Snapping his phone shut, he steps between his agent and the elevator doors that are about to open up on the squad room level. As the doors open, he shakes his head as he deliberately locks eyes with his Senior Field Agent, even as the doors close again and the box descends back down to the lobby.

Lost in a sea of thoughts and attempting to process what Gibbs has just told him, Tim barely notices anything else. Even when the elevator reaches the ground floor and the doors open, he fails to compute to the point that Gibbs pulls at his shirtsleeve to get his attention. "C'mon. Let's take this outside."

Wordlessly, Tim follows the boss outside, away from the employees and visitors of the agency, away from the crowded feel that entrance always provides with its constant flow of people in and out.

Tim doesn't need any further urging when the bench comes into their line of sight and he's quick to take himself over to it and sit down. The fresh air is therapeutic and he finds himself wishing he'd spent more time outdoors in the last month because of the way he feels like he can breathe much better when he's outside than when he's inside.

He knows he should be trying to reassure the boss that not only does he not blame the man for anything that happened, but also that he's fine and ready to get back to work as the resident geek, even without medical permission to be in the field. At this point, being chained to his desk will be a step up and a step towards putting this all behind him. He should say something.

Somehow, he can't seem to find the words. Tim knows that any he can think of will sound hollow enough that even he will have trouble believing them. He's thankful that he knows the call Gibbs made earlier was most likely to Ducky, which means the M.E. is on his way into this stilted attempt at getting Tim to see things from a different perspective.

Sure enough, before he can even think much more on the subject, the sight of Ducky's approach distracts him and he feels the sigh of relief come from deep within him. It's not that he doesn't appreciate Gibbs because God knows he does. He just can't seem to find the right words when the Team Leader's around.

The closer bond they'd knit, accidental as it was, over the crisis Tim experienced before Christmas, seems like ancient history now. The feeling of being adrift in a single-man lifeboat without oars or life preserver is all that he's known since waking up in the hospital, half-dead and all-responsible, despite his team's relentless efforts to be there for him.

"Hello, Timothy." Ducky greets him cheerfully. "I did not expect to see you here today. You made no mention to me this morning of your pending visit."

"Director Shepherd called me. She wants to see me." Tim announces quietly.

"She called you this morning?" Gibbs asks with enough of an edge to his tone that it's evident he isn't happy about the news.

Tim nods.

"You leave her to me." Gibbs instructs him.

Again, Tim nods without speaking, knowing no words are needed.

"Jethro, might I ask why I've been summoned?" Ducky asks pointblank.

Gibbs nods in Tim's direction.

Watching the youngest of them look away in nervousness, Ducky gently pushes for more information "Timothy? Is there something wrong?"

Gibbs huffs out a breath of disbelief. "Think we all know there's plenty wrong here, Duck. Just thought that maybe you'd be able to get him to stop blaming himself for all of it, at least long enough to listen to reason.

"Jethro, you know that kind of thinking does not come about overnight."

"Doesn't mean he can't hear what you have to say about it. I know you've been waiting til you thought he was ready to hear it, Duck, Time's a wastin' and this is only gettin' harder on him."

"Boss, I can't just stop being responsible for what happened!" Tim objects. "Not you, Boss. Me! I set this mess in motion. We both know that!"

Squaring his shoulders, Gibbs stands toe to toe with Tim and quietly reminds him of something most important. "If you can't blame me then you shouldn't be able to blame yourself."

"Absolutely not, Timothy!" Ducky can't help but insert even as his heart hurts for Gibbs as well.

"Boss, everyone knows this is on me! I know that's why I'm supposed to meet with her; to face whatever she's decided my punishment should be!"

"Timothy. Let's put the meeting with the Director aside for a moment, all right?"

Tim nods silently, willing to hear the wise M.E. out.

"Let's focus on what you're been trying to handle without anyone's help. I need you to remember that you were in a state of shock from the very first evening you learned of your true parentage. When you learned that you were not the biological son of the man who raised and loved you all of your life, you were understandably knocked off-kilter. When in the course of that same evening, you also discovered that the serial killer was in fact your biological father; it understandably was more than you were able to process all at once. It is no wonder you struggled to take it all in and accept it." Ducky reminds him compassionately.

"But you did, McGee." Gibbs adds proudly. "You handled it."

"Quite right, young man. Which is why you must stop punishing yourself this way for the choices you made then because you did give the situation much serious thought. Your actions were not reckless. And really, who could have predicted that prison security would suddenly go lax enough that such a series of events would happen? The responsibility is most definitely not all on you, Timothy."

"Not to mention that Fornell AND Director Shepard would screw up at their jobs." Gibbs adds with anger. "Not responsible for Fornell or Diane's lack of observation either. Damned sure not responsible for the Director's rush to bring your family out of protective custody. Or mine to get you back here."

"Timothy, you did NOT help Martin escape from prison, you were NOT responsible for the sloppy security measures that led to Martin's freedom. If anything, one would think prison security would have been tighter around a prisoner the closer they get to his execution date." Ducky one again attempts to insert reason into Tim's thought process.

Tim takes a deep breath and glances at both men he appreciates more than he can ever say. "I know you're both right. But I also know that neither one of you would be feeling any different if you were standing where I am right now."

"I know where you're headed with this thinking, Tim.. You're holding your own recovery back because you don't think you deserve to be a Field Agent anymore."

Tim's silence tells them just how right the Team Leader is in his assessment.

"Only gonna say this once." Gibbs warns. "You belong to me, remember? You can keep your job as a federal agent - and a field agent on my team when you've fully recovered - and continue doing the good you know you were doing, preventing other victims from serial killers AND preventing other children from suffering the same fate you and your family has. Or you can let that bastard win by allowing your guilt to eat you alive and cost you everything. And everything your mother's done so all of you could get your life lives back, would mean nothing."

Disbelief and doubt are unmistakable in Tim's eyes even before he silently looks away. Maybe what he's feeling right now is more than just the effects of what he's just been through, what everyone he cares about has been through because of him, but part of his mind is shouting 'job-burn out!' All he knows is that he no longer sees that he can make a difference on the job. Right now, all he knows is that he screwed up and this time, there are no more second chances.

However, it's the reminder of his mother and everything she's been through and all she's done to give him life and give it back to him when all seemed out of reach and unfixable, that grabs him by the throat until he's almost choking on the price she's paid.

The guilt that Gibbs is carrying as well as what this has done to him adds another layer to the problem and gives Tim even more incentive to do what he has to get past this part of the nightmare where he's alone and mired in the muck of it all. He wants to be able to put this down, to find a way to live with it; or at least, a part of him does. Unfortunately, two-thirds of his brain can't see past everything else that's keeping this a live wire for him. Maybe, just maybe, these two men; the people he looks up to most in his life are right.

"Timothy, while Jethro is quite correct in what he is trying to get you to understand; it's clear that that clarification brings with it more guilt and that is certainly not our intention. Won't you allow yourself to speak with someone who can help you wade through this so you can find your way back to us?" Ducky implores the young man.

Blinking back the traitorous moisture from his eyes, Tim silently nods in capitulation. He knows he can't keep going on alone. He has to find the light at the end of the tunnel, if not for himself then at least for his mother. She deserves to be able to have her life back; to not be constantly worried about him because he can't seem to get back on track. They all do. His thoughts turn to his team and all they've tried to do for him. It's time to find a way out – for all their sakes, but mostly for his own.

Part of that will have to be finding a way to be around them, without being weighed down from the guilt of it all. He knows this, but he also knows that without reaching out for help, he'll be forever trying to figure out how to shed it.

"I have a very good friend whom I trust implicitly. He is standing by, Timothy. He has made it clear that his calendar is open for you anytime you need him. I would say that there is no time like the present, hmm?" Ducky pushes gently.

Gibbs relaxes at Tim's second nod, digs his phone out of his pocket and flips it open to make a call. "Your appointment with my agent just got cancelled…yeah, he told me…he's got somewhere he's gotta be…Yup, definitely more important, Jen…I'll let ya know."

Flipping his phone closed, he stowed it back in his shirt pocket, looking at his still silent agent. "C'mon, I'll drive you."

Too shocked to argue, Tim glances at Ducky for either confirmation or argument, finds neither and so turns to follow in the boss's footsteps, still not breaking the silence that has settled in the air between them.

****NCIS*****

Hey, Boss. I hear Probie was here. I can't believe he didn't come see us…well, me." Tony gripes when Gibbs returns to the squad room three hours later. "You know how long I've been workin' on him; tryin' to get him to come back to us, in more ways than one, too."

The Team Leader stops in his trek toward his own desk, changing course to that of his Senior Field Agent's. "DiNozzo."

"Boss?"

"Give him time."

"I did! I was! He was here!" Tony argues plaintively. "Why wouldn't he come up here and see us? How much more time does he need? Every free night we have is spent trying to get him to open up and let us in!"

"Don't push, DiNozzo." The quiet tone drives the point home as Tony stops long enough to consider what he's being told without words.

Finally, he nods in agreement. "Okay."

Gibbs returns to his desk, thinking about the situation with Tim. It had done the young man a world of good to talk to him, to Ducky and most of all to the shrink. Gibbs saw the difference in Tim's demeanor almost immediately after the young man came from the Doctor's office after his session and climbed into Gibbs' car.

***FLASHBACK***

As they head away from the office, the Team Leader doesn't push, but quite deliberately scrutinizes his agent, settling for asking just one little question. "Feel better?"

Tim is quietly thoughtful for a long minute before he looks him straight on and answers him. "Yeah. Thanks to you and Ducky and…"

Gibbs nods. "I get it. Question is, do you?"

"Get that I need help? Yeah, Boss. I do. Now."

"Not exactly what I meant, but it's a start."

"What did yo…?"

"McGee. Your mother's been through hell. The two of you went through hell before Christmas – hell, even before Thanksgiving your family had a lot to deal with. Don't you think it's time you give her something back?"

"I thought I was by not dragging her through this crap." He answers honestly.

"Hmmm." Gibbs replies thoughtfully. "Not sure she sees it that way."

"Meaning she wants me to be with her."

"Could start with a phone call." Gibbs suggests dryly. "Hell of a lot cheaper than a plane ticket."

Tim smiles softly. "I think I can do that."

"Your sister, too?" Gibbs asks unexpectedly.

"Sarah? Boss, wh…?"

"McGee, she was kept out of what was going on from the beginning. When the shit hit the fan, she got caught up in the middle and she still never knew why."

"Oh, God! No wonder she would only talk to Ducky afterwards."

"We're lucky she was willing to even do that."

"I know. You're right, Boss. I will definitely work harder on fixing things or at least trying to fix things with Sarah." Tim earnestly vows.

"I know." Gibbs rewards him with a half-smile.

Tim settles back in his seat and goes quiet falling into a light sleep. Glancing over at him, Gibbs thinks about the lack of contact with his wounded agent over the past few weeks and marvels at the younger man's ability not to hold that against him. Still, he knows the M.E.'s point to that effect was a valid one and sees this as a golden opportunity to try to fix this screw-up of his; to let Tim see that he really does matter, to all of them. Making a split second decision, he turns the car towards his own home.

As they pull into the driveway, Tim wakes and looks around him, a bit confused. With a grin, his boss looks over at him and explains: "Thought you could stay with me since we're off this weekend. Change of scenery for you.. Shoulder's healing so one flight to the guest room will do you some good and there's a walking trail nearby that will be easy on your knee."

It's obvious by the look on his face that Tim hears what the boss isn't saying and realizes that the man is doing his best to work toward making amends for the previous lack of communication. The younger man gives his Team Leader a genuine smile as he nods. "Sure Boss, that sounds good."

***End Flashback***

Now, hearing Tony's concern and his complaint, Gibbs realizes that it's time to let the rest of the team have the freedom to handle things with Tim in their own way. He feels Tim is now probably ready to spend time with his teammates. The young man just doesn't know how to ask that of them while still weighed down with all he's struggling to sort through.

The father in Gibbs wants this reconnection between his kids just as much as they do and he wants to get them all beyond those unsuccessful earlier attempts to reach Tim. Showing Tim he doesn't have to do the asking will go a long way in making that happen. "Tony."

"Boss?"

"If Mohammed won't come to the mountain…" Gibbs deliberately leaves it at that as he includes the long silent Ziva in his glance. He knows both of his intelligent agents will get his point.

"Seriously?" Tony is excited that Gibbs is sanctioning them crashing in on Tim.

"My place, 1800. Just you two." After talking it over with Ducky earlier, he had decided this dinner needed to be just the Field Team, to lessen the possibility of overwhelming Tim.

***NCIS***

Tony and Ziva spend the next few hours cleaning up their paperwork and zoom out of the squad room when Gibbs gives them the nod at 1630. Early for them, but he decides to cut them some slack. Leaving the office early himself, he stops and buys steaks and potatoes for the grill and an apple pie with vanilla ice cream he happens to know is a favorite of Tim's – and his, truth be told!

Quietly entering his house, he finds Tim stretched out on the sofa sound asleep and miracles of all miracles, it looks to be a peaceful rest. He can't help but grin with long awaited relief at the change as he opens the back porch door to let in some fresh air. He leaves Tim to get more sleep while he heads back to the kitchen and sets the steaks to marinate a bit before heading back outside to clean off the grill; the real one outside.

Gibbs has to smile as he realizes 'his' grill won't cut it with the whole crowd coming. But, some other time, he'll be firing it up and showing Tim that he really can come to him in normal times, too. It hasn't escaped his notice that Tony's bragged a time or two about the 'cowboy steaks he's been privy to at the boss' house. Oh yeah, it's long past time to right that wrong. Soon.

Shortly before 1800, the expected duo arrives and as they pull into his driveway, the Team Leader wakes the young man. "C'mon Tim, wake up, almost chow time!"

Tim stretches carefully as he opens his eyes, sits up gingerly and gives his boss a lopsided smile. "Like a little kid these days. I just fall asleep anywhere!"

"That's good, McGee, you need it. "You call your mother yet?"

"Yeah. We had a really good talk, we're okay. And Sarah's agreed to talk to me the next time I call. I wanted to give her the choice and the time to think about it, too."

Gibbs nods in satisfaction and Tim barely has time to wonder at the grin that comes over his boss's face when he realizes he's heard footsteps behind the man. Getting up off the couch, almost without help, although not quite, he turns and finds his teammates standing in the entryway, grinning at him.

"Surprise." says Tony, quietly, not wanting to startle his probie.

"Tony, Ziva! I didn't expec…Boss?!" Tim looks at his boss in question.

"It is nice to see you rested, McGee. I know it has not been easy for you to do so with your injuries." Ziva offers as she deliberately leaves out any mention of the real reason he hasn't been sleeping. She has no desire to invoke images of whatever nightmares have been plaguing him.

Turning at the sound of her voice, he's just in time to brace for a double-barreled, yet still gentle hug from the two of them. Smiling and trying not to let the tears fall, he leans into the embrace and squeezes them right back. Ordinarily, any one of them would have said a group hug was too sappy.

But, after everything they'd been through, after they'd almost lost Tim, spent hours thinking they had lost him, they were all feeling the rawness of their overwhelming emotions in the face of this; the first chance they've had as a team to work at reconnecting without the barrier of Tim mentally trying to shield them from what he's going through.

As one unit, they turn toward their boss, their ties to each other finally ready for reconnecting, their ties to each other still strong and unbreakable. They are after all, more than just a team; they're a family.

~~FINIS~~

A/N: It's been a long and difficult journey to get here and I could NOT have done it without the invaluable help and support of both my long-time BETA, Gottahavemyncis - and my friend, Shelbylou.

To both of you: - "Thank you, from the bottom of my heart"

And I cannot forget to thank all of you loyal readers & reviwers - "Thank you!"