Chapter One – Wars and Old Wounds

Quistis Trepe was a terrible liar.

And that became the first lie she told herself. There came a string more following that first one—lies to herself and other people, intentional and unconscious. She was such a good liar that she even believed her own lies.

Believing that her work defined who she was, how she was being appreciated. Believing that she loved Squall Leonhart. Believing that she didn't. Believing that she was powerless to stop the war. But as she sat alone on her bed with the setting sun throwing shadows on the floor of her room, Quistis felt the first crack in her wall of self-deception.

There was a faint knock on the door that she barely heard. When she ignored it, she heard it open and moments later, her brother Irvine was standing over her, concern written all over his face.

"You alright, Quis?" he asked, sitting down beside her. She stared at him blankly and turned away, wrapping her arms around herself.

"I'm sorry, it was a stupid question. Of course you're not alright. Your best friend just died and—"

"I don't want to talk about it, Irvine," she cut him off sharply.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I was just…" he sighed and shut up.

Really, there was nothing to say. Xu was dead and no words could convince Quistis that things would be alright.

"It's this stupid war," Irvine muttered, more to himself than to her. She glanced at him. While she did agree that the war was stupid, she also understood that there was nothing either of them could do to change things.

Just two years ago, things had been almost perfect. But then their parents had died unexpectedly in a hunting expedition and Irvine was crowned King. With the whole nation still in mourning, Galbadian troops had swooped in and tried to take over the kingdom, taking advantage of the vulnerable state of the Balamb people.

But while Balamb had been much smaller in size compared to Galbadia, they had the best-trained soldiers in the whole land. The takeover attempt failed and they had been at war since then. They'd lost so much and gained so little in the years that followed.

Finally, at Quistis' urging, Balamb initiated an attempt at a truce. A ceasefire order came from both nations while they discussed a treaty that would end the war once and for all. But even though both armies showed all appearances of retreating, some fierce battles were still raging at the border nations. They received intelligence that the group causing the troubles were Galbadian but the government itself denied any involvement and instead turned the blame on Balamb.

Another war seemed to be on the brink of breaking out again and Irvine decided to investigate about the rebel group and resolve the issue once and for all. Of course, any efforts to subdue the dissention had to be done quietly, in case Galbadia was telling the truth and they risked another war by violating the terms of the treaty. A squad from Balamb's elite special force, the SeeD, was deployed, led by Xu to examine the situation.

"I should have been there," she said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. "I was the one who should have led that squad. I asked Squall to let me go but he would not even listen."

"You know why he won't. it's too dangerous. You're too recognizable as my sister. They could capture you and use you to get to me," Irvine pointed out.

"The perils of being the King's sister. I have to be a princess first, and SeeD second," she said bitterly.

Irvine crossed his arms, looking uncharacteristically angry. "Do you think I like shelving one of my best SeeDs just because she happens to be related to me? This order to leave you behind is not because you lack the ability or skills to do the job right. It is about avoiding the risk of them using you as leverage to gain an upper hand in the war."

Quistis stared ahead blindly, silent. Deep down, she knew that Irvine had a point. She even knew that Squall did the right thing by sending the best person to replace her. But she couldn't help feeling that Xu's death could be avoided if Quistis had only been there to help.

"Sorry for yelling at you," Irvine muttered, mollified by her silence.

"Can I be left alone now?" she asked tiredly.

He stood up. "Of course. Just get some rest and I'll fill you in on the situation at the border tomorrow."

She nodded. She did want to know if they'd determined the origins of the rebel group. But not now. Now she just wanted to curl up in her bed, praying to Hyne for forgiveness for not being there when her best friend needed her the most.

The next day, Quistis was dressed in her formal SeeD uniform, pacing outside Squall's office and waiting for the SeeD Commander to start with his debriefing of the situation. It was already midmorning and he was still nowhere to be found—a rarity since Squall was always punctual.

So she almost wanted to throttle him when she finally saw him slowly making his way towards his office, deep in conversation with Irvine. She tapped her foot impatiently until both men finally noticed her and Squall made a gesture for her to follow them inside.

"We were arranging for Xu's funeral service. We need to wait for her parents to arrive but we're giving her a hero's send-off," Irvine explained when she demanded where they had been to. That shut her up, which only made him look at her in concern.

"How are you this morning? Feeling better?"

She stared at him incredulously. "No, definitely not better. But moping and whining won't bring her back so all I can do now is at least bring this matter to a close. What's the situation in Timber?"

Timber was on the Galbadia continent but it was the town that marked the territory between Galbadia and Balamb before the war. Now it was the center of all the fightings hindering the truce.

"Unfortunately, the squad dispatched there are still unable to uncover the mastermind of all the riots. It's absolute chaos down there, with both sides blaming the other," Squall said quietly, sitting down on one of the couches that formed a semicircle in one corner of the room.

Quistis leaned against his desk, feeling angry again that Xu's death had not even led to any insights on the situation. "You mean, Galbadia also sent someone to investigate?"

"Which seems to prove that they might be telling the truth," Irvine said. "Maybe the rebel group didn't belong to them?"

"But we don't know for sure?" she asked, to which both men didn't answer. So she continued, "So what now? How do we proceed from here?"

"We leave the situation in Timber to resolve in due time. For now, we should focus on making sure the treaty is signed. We might finally have peace after that," Irvine told her.

Quistis stared first at her brother, then at Squall, who was resolutely avoiding her eyes. She didn't know whether to laugh or scream. It felt dangerously more likely that she will do neither and hit both of them instead.

"Putting aside the fact that you're making it sound like Xu died for some stupid, pointless mission," she began, and was satisfied to see Squall squirm uncomfortably, "do you really think Galbadia is going to happily sign the treaty while still suspicious that Balamb is secretly trying to attack via the rebel group in Timber?"

Irvine remained unperturbed by her tirade. "I've thought of a way to get them to agree."

"Do tell," she said sarcastically.

Irvine glanced at Squall and they seemed to be silently communicating something. Quistis crossed her arms, knowing with all her heart that they were going to give her even more bad news.

"We're forming an alliance with Esthar. With such a powerful ally on our side, Galbadia won't dare refuse."

"Esthar?" Quistis repeated, dumbfounded. "If Esthar had wanted to help, they'd have done so long before this."

It was no secret that Esthar had long taken a hands-off stance with regards to the Balamb-Galbadia war, for the most part due the economic interest it had in both countries. But aside from that, the President himself had stayed away due to personal conflicts of interest; in which he was Galbadian by birth and the fact that his only son is Commander of SeeD for Balamb.

"We won't be asking Esthar to pledge their loyalty to us," Irvine said, looking suddenly uncomfortable. "At least, not in the way you're thinking."

Quistis' blue eyes bored into her brother's grey ones. "What way do you mean then?"

"We'll align ourselves with Esthar through a political marriage."

Her heart stopped. The blood must have also drained from her brain because she suddenly couldn't understand what Irvine was saying.

"Political marriage?" she repeated, the words making no sense in her head. Who was Irvine going to marry that would ensure Esthar's cooperation? she thought, still refusing to accept the implication of his words. The President, Laguna Loire, had only one child and that child was sitting across the room from her, still as a statue.

"You're marrying Ellone?" she asked, almost hopefully. While not related to Laguna by blood, Ellone was his late wife's first child, thereby making her Squall's half sister.

"Quistis…" Irvine looked at Squall for help but the Commander might as well have been a rock from the way he hadn't moved an inch since the subject was introduced.

Quistis closed her eyes, dragged in a deep breath, and finally ask the question she dreaded, "You want me to marry Squall?"

His silence was confirmation enough. The blood that had pooled at her feet earlier now rushed back up, causing her heart to pound and her mind to race. Never in a million years could she see this coming.

Marriage…to Squall?

In another situation, she might have jumped with joy at the news. She had, after all, known him almost all her life and loved him just as long. When her parents were still alive, they had spent every summer together, gone to school together, and practically grew up in each other's back yards.

It had always been made known that her parents and Laguna were hoping that Quistis and Squall would eventually fall in love and marry each other. In fact, everything was all but set in stone until the day the lifeless bodies of her mother and father were brought back to the palace.

Quistis remembered being numb that day. People were talking, crying, hugging and comforting her but all she could feel was the surreal realization that she would never hear either of her parents' voices or feel their touch ever again. Irvine was wrapped in his own grief then and she turned to the only person she wanted and needed comfort from.

Squall became a pillar of strength for her in the days after and she took solace in his comforting embrace and quiet calm. Her fatal mistake was confusing his concern with love. And he, honourable to a fault, did not correct her misunderstanding. In fact, he might have even gone ahead and married her had her eyes not been opened to his real feelings only days after they were attacked by Galbadian troops.

That day, both of them were headed towards Balamb town, which was in danger of being completely captured by enemy troops. But before the port town had come into view, they were stopped by a handful of Galbadian soldiers, led by Seifer Almasy.

"Well, if it isn't the happy couple," he sneered when Quistis and Squall stepped out of the vehicle they were traveling in.

She glowered at him, not quite believing that he had been part of the attack against them. Despite the fact that he was the son of Galbadia's President, Seifer had grown up together with all of them, joining their summer visits when his mother was still alive. It had been many years since he'd come to Balamb, following his mother's illness and subsequent death but she still had fond memories of playing together.

"What is the meaning of this, Seifer? Why are you attacking Balamb?" she snapped. He'd come with only a handful of men and she had absolute confidence in her and Squall's ability to defeat them. But Seifer was another story. She had no idea how good of a swordsman he'd become in the years she hadn't seen him but he used to at least be on the same level as Squall.

"What, why, how—you always ask too many questions, Princess," he said mockingly. Quistis' jaw tightened but she kept her head. She knew he liked to push people's buttons and she was old enough not to fall for that.

"Rumour has it congratulations are in order," he was saying, pacing slowly from her to Squall, gunblade swung over one shoulder.

Rumour of their impending nuptials had been going around for years so it was hardly news if he'd heard it. For the moment, the rumour had no basis since Squall had not proposed yet but Quistis had every reason to believe that he would soon. In the meantime, she saw nothing wrong in letting Seifer believe what he wanted while she formulated a plan to escape.

"Well, sorry to ruin the party, folks, but there sure as hell isn't going to be a wedding soon. Not with us ruling over Balamb. Then you'd be nothing but a common peasant," the last was said to Quistis with a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

"All this bitterness just because you didn't get an invitation?" she asked sweetly, seizing the moment to cast a Firaga spell right into his midsection. He flew backwards and landed on his back a few feet away, gunblade flying in the other direction.

In an instant, they were attacked by his men but Quistis and Squall was prepared. Signaling Squall to take care of Seifer, Quistis took out her whip and made short work of the Galbadian soldiers. When she had the last of them facedown in the grass, she turned to see Squall and Seifer in a full-on gunblade duel, the latter making a 'come at me' gesture with a cocky smirk on his face.

It looked like Seifer was winning when he pushed Squall back to his knees with a Fira spell. Squall was struggling to get up and by the time he noticed how close Seifer was, it was too late. Seifer's gunblade swooped down and slashed Squall across his face, causing blood to splatter on the ground.

Quistis called out his name, launching herself to where they were fighting. But Squall was already retaliating, swinging his gunblade up and wounding Seifer—who was gloating and therefore unprepared—right in the face. Quistis used the moment to coil her whip around Seifer's feet and pulled him to the ground. Quick as lightning, Squall put the tip of his gunblade to Seifer's throat.

"Move and your body's going back to Galbadia headless," he said warningly. Both his and Seifer's face was covered in blood but neither seemed bothered. Thankfully, Quistis had Cure spells stocked up so she used one on Squall. It at least managed to close the wound and stopped the bleeding but he would need medical attention when they arrived in town. As for Seifer, he could bleed dry for all she care.

Instead of obeying, Seifer threw back his head and laughed. Quistis stood over him, hands resting on her hips. Clearly, Seifer had gone insane. But when he pinned her with his malice-filled green eyes, she saw that he was anything but. Stupid and reckless definitely but not insane.

"Look at you two, doing the whole tag team thingie. It's so adorable," he taunted. He looked at Squall pityingly. "Didn't think you were the hearts and flowers type, Leonhart, but I guess love changes people."

"Shut up," Squall snapped. "It's not like that."

Seifer laid down, seemingly unconcerned that the business end of a gunblade was merely an inch from his jugular. "I've always thought a spoiled, self-involved brat like you would be incapable of caring for another human being more than yourself so maybe I was wrong. Hey Quisty, how did you get him to admit to falling in love with you anyway?"

He had raised his head now, looking at Quistis in genuine curiosity. She scowled at his casual use of her childhood nickname.

"Why in Hyne's name would you care anyway?"

He grinned. "You're right, I don't. But I was just trying to distract you two."

Before either Squall or Quistis could react, a Galbadian soldier tackled them from behind. The three of them toppled to the ground as Seifer casually picked himself up and dusted himself. Quistis pushed the soldier away and summoned her guardian force, Ifrit, ready to counterattack. But Seifer had raised his hands in a gesture of surrender even as Squall lifted his gunblade to attack.

"Whoa, there," he said, taking a step back. "I'll concede defeat this time."

"You're delusional if you think we're just going to let you escape," Quistis said in a hard voice.

Seifer chuckled and shook his head at her. In the distance, she heard the roar of an airship and was astonished to see one appearing out of the cliffs, its body streaked with Galbadian colours.

"Well, it's been…enlightening chatting with you two," Seifer said, raising a hand. A rope ladder rolled out from the airship and he caught it with ease as the 'ship pulled away, taking him with it.

Quistis watched, mouth open, while Squall went to tie down the Galbadian soldiers—something she would have done if she hadn't rushed in to save him.

"I can't believe that he hasn't changed at all," she muttered, watching Squall work. He didn't say anything so she continued talking, "I mean, the way he just went on and on about us as if the idea of us being together is so hard to believe… Right?"

Somehow, there was an edge of uncertainty to her voice when she asked that. It was stupid, but when Seifer had asked how she convinced Squall to tell her he loved her, her chest had constricted painfully. Because she had just realized that he never said anything about loving her.

But she could tell that he did from his actions. He'd been there when she needed him most, lent a shoulder for her to cry on and an ear to listen to her troubles. He'd put his arms around her when she felt like she would break from the grief of losing her parents. He'd never kissed her, but she'd always thought it was because he was saving it for their wedding day.

"Squall?"

What kind of sappy idiot saves a kiss for the wedding anyway?

He was silent—neither admitting or denying anything. Quistis could almost hear her heart breaking into a million pieces. When it was clear that she wasn't going to move until he said something, he met her eyes. Immediately, he looked away when he saw the look on her face.

"I'm…sorry, Quistis, but I couldn't say anything to hurt you. You'd just lost so much and I couldn't add to that pain."

Quistis sank to the ground, hands covering her face. "Oh, Hyne, I was so stupid…"

No other words were exchanged between them that day. In fact, she didn't talk to him for weeks after that. It had hurt to even look at him, knowing that he was feeling bad for having deceived her, and guilt for having hurt her. The worst part was the fact that she had made a fool of herself over him, and now he was feeling sorry for her.

So the idea of her marrying Squall now in order to secure Esthar's loyalty was like a stab to an already old, festering wound.

"And you're agreeing?" she was asking Squall, her voice faint.

"It seemed to be the best course of action," he said, his own voice steady and firm in contrast.

How laughable that he would agree to marry her for any and all reasons but the one that mattered most.

"This has already been in the plan anyway, right?" Irvine rushed in. "It's what Mother and Father and Laguna wanted."

"So the fact that it isn't what I wanted doesn't matter?" she asked sharply.

To his credit, Irvine looked shamefaced. He didn't know the exact reason why but he'd noticed Squall and Quistis' estrangement just when he thought there would be wedding bells in the works. Both of them refused to talk about it but he knew how much Quistis was hurting. Anyway, lovers quarrel all the time and he was positive that they would be able to work past their issues once they're married. They were destined to be together after all.

"You'll come around to the idea," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Quistis shoved the offending limb away. She had daggers in her eyes when she looked at him and said, "If I hear any more of this again, I swear I'll run to Galbadia and give myself up. I'd rather spend my life incarcerated than be trapped in a loveless marriage."

With that, she stalked out of the office.

A/N: My first fic! I'm torn between Quall and Seiftis but this is a Seiftis fic, simply because I've never tried written one and am eager to explore their potential. By the way, I know Ellone's relationship with Squall was not really clear in the game because on the one hand, he called her 'Sis', but on the other, Raine said Ellone was her sister. I think Raine was just trying to hide the fact that she had Ellone out of wedlock. So I will go with the Ellone is Squall's half-sister theory.