Headcanon: Astro wasn't always Astrotrain, and in fact Cybertronians don't know of trains as we know them. If they had them, they'd be more like Japanese magnatrains. But that shuffling people and stuff around role is easily filled by shuttles of sentient and nonsentient types, so, trains, what do?

... this means the Trainbots thing in one continuity doesn't exist, or at least not in that form.

No warnings, just headcanons, badly butchered transformation technology and an almost spiritual experience clearly striving to be almost sexual. Bad train, bad.

As this is a dumb little drabble and a one-shot, thanks in advance for reading and/or reviewing. And stuff.

"This is stupid."

The harsh grumble of his partner's voice only slightly distracted the triplechanger from the object his optics were absolutely fixated upon, and the barest flicker of agreement may have passed through his processor.

It was stupid, sure.

But this thing was beautiful.

A large, majestic beast on six axles, clearly built for raw power and brute force - and yet its wheels were delicately positioned atop rickety metal tracking, a balancing act defying its brutish appearance. Its aft was chained to a set of other, powerless vehicles, and for the briefest moment he wanted to free it.

It was raw metal muscle with a gentle touch, forced into menial servitude.

Just like him.

He saw Blitzkrieg - no, it was Blitzwing now, after his operation had given him wings and the aerial model's arrogance; it had been some time since that operation and he still hadn't gotten used to it yet - shift through the corner of an optic, a sort of irritated slump that likely meant he was about to slug the starstruck shuttle out of his appreciative daze.

Astro finally, though hesitantly, broke his gaze in order to really get a look at him, judging his reaction while his own faceplates may have shifted into something that almost looked like a silent plea, asking him for permission somehow.

The glare that answered it began long before he said what had come to mind.

"I need it."

The tank started and spluttered, though he likely knew it had been coming. "The frag are you even- you can't take that thing back to base, they'd knock it out of your hands before you even got through the damn door!"

"No, no, not the actual thing," Although he had to admit, literally taking it was a very appealing idea. She would look lovely in his quarters. "I mean like.. as my third mode. I wanna scan it."

That put the slightly smaller mech at a loss, just staring at him as if he'd gone crazy. And maybe he had.

"But you already HAVE a third mode," Blitzwing pointed out with a frown, tone probably not as condescending as it should have been considering he was stating the obvious. "Commander Shockwave gave you that assault vehicle, remember? It's just as big n' ugly as this thing, and it's already armed to the dental plates, so what's the problem?"

He couldn't help but flare his wings slightly at the insinuation that this machine was anything but the most gorgeous thing to cross his line of sight, and they gave a little repulsed twitch as he mentioned his current third.

Truthfully, that assault vehicle was probably a lot more useful than this majestic beast, as it served a similar purpose as Blitzwing's original tank mode and was far more heavily armored to boot. However, the extra mass from that made him a bit too clunky, even for a shuttle, and he hadn't yet gotten used to the mechanisms of two modes warring inside him despite his operation having been several vorns ago. Something was likely out of alignment, or there was just too much assault vehicle and not enough shuttle.

This thing, though. This thing looked as if it would settle harmoniously with his shuttle form, somehow.

"I have to have it, Blitz," Was all he could think to say. "It just.. it feels right. I have to have it."

There was a visor in the way, but he just knew his friend was rolling his optics at him, and rolling them pretty hard. He understood, he would roll the everloving slag out of his optics if the other mech went around proclaiming his love for random Earth contraptions.

After a long moment, in which he continued to let his gaze flicker from the machine to the other triplechanger - fixing both with the same look of longing, he could only imagine - and back again, Blitzwing let out a loud, overly exaggerated sigh of exasperation that almost sounded like his ventilation system had sprung a leak, his frame slumping into a posture of clear defeat.

"Fine," He grunted, and it was pretty clear he was trying to suppress the grin at his partner's wings perking up like a giddy youngling. "But if Commander Shockwave wants to know why your assault vehicle mode is suddenly thinner n' ridiculous looking, I'm staying the frag out of it."

"Pfft, as if he really gives half a slag what I transform into. Lord Megatron's not gonna give one either. S'gonna be awesome, you'll see."

"Primus almighty, just scan the thing already."

A rather unmechly squeal may or may not have escaped his vocalizer at that point, but he was far beyond caring and he was relatively confident the other mech would simply ignore it for his sanity's sake.

He immediately whirled on the beautiful machine, letting his optics trace over her frame for a moment or two before the soft light of his scanner enveloped her. When he was prompted, he directed it to overwrite the augmented mode rather than the modified natural - because what use was he with two ground modes? what shuttle gave up his flight for a machine he just met, no matter how beautiful she was? - and nearly gasped as he felt her mechanisms assimilate into his frame, mass shifting and twisting and falling so very neatly into place. Sensory systems were altered and pushed around to make room for her, a sensation that wasn't quite as horrific or violent as when he was given his first, too-bulky third.

It was an almost natural feeling. Like she'd always been there.

His processor was immediately assaulted with all the knowledge he would need to control her, how to work her engines and all her wheel axles - and her name. He wasn't sure if this was a thing that ordinarily came from scanning an Earth alternate mode, but it was for him.

Train.

She was a train.

And now, as his scan was complete, so was he.

"Well.. uh.. aren't ya gonna try it out?"

He nearly jumped at that, having almost completely forgotten Blitzwing was even there. It had been just so.. well.. he couldn't describe it. But it was definitely a private matter, if that sudden heat in his faceplates and his newly shifted frame had anything to say about it.

Rather than attempt a verbal response, he gave an awkward little cough and bobbed his helm once, though at first he hesitated. For some stupid reason he thought the beautiful beast was going to judge him if he did this, even though he knew she wasn't capable of such a thing, being a non-sentient human-made contraption.

But as there was a mech over there with the full capacity of judgment - and likely judging him like nobody's business at the moment for being so reluctant - he finally did.

And it was the second most nerve-wracking yet fragging magical transformation of his life, right after the very first time he'd ever transformed.

He almost didn't want to get out of that form at all.

"Huh," Blitzwing mused, his side sensors tracking his movement as he walked slowly around his friend's new shape. "I gotta say, Astro, s'not actually that bad."

"Astrotrain."

He'd just blurted it out, without thinking.

The other mech stopped mid-step to stare at him, uncomprehension clear on his faceplates. It wasn't the same as the look silently calling him crazy, but it was close. "... what?"

"My designation," The shuttle - no, train, he was a train at the moment - murmured, once again feeling a bit stupid and yet absolutely one hundred percent convicted. "I'm changing it to Astrotrain. Like you've got Blitzwing, 'cause you're a tank and a jet. I'm a shuttle and a train, so.. Astrotrain."

He had to wonder if part of that look was from the extra word itself. After all, the train had been the one to tell him what she was, and Blitz kind of wasn't present for that.

His friend just snorted and shook his head. "You're just changing everything today, aren't ya?"

".. shut up."

"No, no, s'fine, I've been wondering when you'd do somethin' to that one-word syllable name of yours," The other triplechanger continued, a more genuine smile on his faceplate. "Well then, Astrotrain, let's get back to base so you can tell everybody you're a new mech now."

A slight pause.

"... you're gonna have to stop being a train for that, you know."

"Aw, man.."