Meltdown Chapter 1, a vocaloid fanfic

This is a oneshot songfic of the song "Meltdown" (One of my all time favorite Vocaloid songs). It's sort of depressing, but I'm quite happy with it :) (I probably shouldn't be ":)" when writing such depressing stuff). A few things: I have another idea to do with this song, so if an alternate ending is requested them I will give it. It is a lot happier. Also, This is just an idea. It is not necessarily my interpretation of the song (although it can be). Just wanted to clear that up. I think that that is all, so read on wards~

Disclaimer: I do [not] own Vocaloid

Rin's P.O.V

I quietly slipped outside and into the cold night air. It was freezing, but I didn't really mind. I did have somewhere that I needed to be, after all. Its 2 A.M and I can't sleep. I wish that some sort of anesthetic ether would be given to me so that I could forget the pain, but nothing of the sort was within my reach.

First to make a stop to the house of the boy who broke my heart without even meaning to. I had the key to his house around my neck (not that I am a stalker, or anything. It's just that we have been best friends for the longest time). I quietly slipped in and walked upstairs and into his room. Len Kagamine. My memory flashed to something that had happened a few weeks earlier.

"Hey, Len! Oh… hi, Gumi," I said. For some weird reason I didn't like them two being together. Maybe it had to do something with the two of them holding hands.

"RIN, GUESS WHAT?" Len shouted.

"W-What?" My hands gripped the end of my shirt, and I could feel myself beginning to panic. Those smiles on their face… the hands linked together… the obvious blush….

"Gumi and I began dating!" My best friend (and the guy I am in love with), and my other closest friend. I gulped, trying to hold down the vomit that was coming up. "It's all thanks to you, Rin! Had you not introduced us then who knows?"

My bangs covered my face, and I thought for a few seconds. I then put on the fakest smile that I have ever wore in my life (and that is saying something since my life is so sucky). "G-Good j-job. Congrats. Now, I have to go." Neither Gumi nor Len noticed my pathetic smile, or how small tears were forming in the ends of my eyes. They were too busy with each other.

That was a few weeks ago. I could handle the first few days, but after that it was too damn lonely.

My father died saving me from a car accident. My mother was an alcoholic (and also abusive), and eventually ran away with some guy that she had a one-night-stand with (I have no idea how that worked out. "One-Night" is in the name for a reason). I was always different, and was bullied. I only had two friends—Gumi and Len—and now they were dating. Too busy to pay attention to me. I guess I seem completive, but it's hard not to be when you are in my position. And I had all of these mistakes that added up over the years. My stomach feels like it's on fire, a pain that can never leave me. I honestly wish that everything was a lie—my parents, the relationship between my two friends, the people who laughed at me. I just... want to disappear.

Back to where I was. I looked at Len, sleeping so peacefully. Probably dreaming of Gumi. I had been dreaming about him:

"Hey, Rin. You okay?" It was Len. He was holding some orange ice cream in his hand, banana in the other. It was a beautiful day in the park, the afternoon sun beating down on us, making me sweat. The sunlight seemed to blind me.

"I-I'm okay," I stuttered back.

"Well, you can tell me anything. We are dating after all." My heart soared, and I felt unbelievable happiness. And then the dream became a nightmare.

Suddenly Gumi was there. She was smiling at Len, Len back at her. They ignored me, and began walking away. I felt anger, and suddenly ran and tackled Len. I put my hands around his neck, tears streaming down my face. I looked down to see my hands were dirty—perhaps dirt… or blood.

Shows how messed up I am, right?

I looked down at his face once more, and then moved some hair so that it wasn't covering his face. I placed the note that I had written earlier on his bedside table, my ribbon right next to it. He gave it to me when I was younger. It is so… pure, in a way. It's intentions simple, it's color white. And nothing as pure as that should be anywhere near me. I go to his window, and hop onto the floor.

I live in a small town, mainly a farm town. It was quite at night—no cars, no noises, no nothing. You could hear a pin drop. Behind the fields was a newly installed nuclear reactor. That was my destination. I had snuck up there was once before and it was beautiful. I could clear my head and think, most of the time depressing things. It didn't matter, though.

I reached there. Right next to the reactor was a big platform connected to it that reached the top. There was a ladder resting to the side, and I quickly scaled it. I looked in.

Oh, how I wish that I could just go and be a part of that beauty! The blue light hypnotized me, and I could feel myself wishing to become it. I sat down, my legs hanging over the side of the reactor. I would fly and be free from this hell called life. Oh, how I wish I could….

I sat down numbly on the couch, rereading my mother's letter again. The clock still ticks, and people on T.V still talk and laugh. Laughter. I have forgotten what it was like to laugh and be happy. The letter fell to the floor, but I didn't bother picking it up. I had it memorized. It said:

Dear Rin,

By the time you have read this I will be long gone. I am sorry, but I feel that I need to go on a journey with someone, and that someone isn't you. I will probably never return.

Mom.

That was all. No "I Love You"s, no "I will return." The letter was just a load of bull. I wish that my mother would have left without writing it.

Oh, how I wish that I could just go and be a part of that beauty! The blue light hypnotized me, and I could feel myself wishing to become it. I would fly and be free from this hell called life. Oh, how I wish I could….

I can literally feel this world dying through my eyes. Not actually dying, but dying in the sense where I wouldn't—couldn't—care what would happen to it. There was nothing left for me, no one caring about me. Yes, I was drowning in self-pity. But self-resentment was a big part as well. I hate myself.

I made too many mistakes. When I was five, I had wandered into the street. A car was coming, and my dad pushed me out of the way. He died. When I was seven, I had accidentally lit my apartment on fire. Then my mother and I had to stay in a shack. My school and its needed supplies coasted too much. I don't blame my mother for running away, although I would have never left my daughter in that situation… or perhaps I would. I am an extremely selfish person, after all.

I suddenly get up, and back away from the beauty. My ears won't stop ringing, two words circling around my head.

Agitato: In an agitated manner.

Allegro: In a brisk manner.

If you add them together, you get me. An agitated girl, trying to finish her life in a brisk manner. Yes, it may sound stupid, but that is how I feel. I know that I sooner or later—I just hope for sooner. I don't care anymore. What could matter now? I have nothing. It annoys me, it irritates me. I just want everything to end, so I can fly away freely.

The silence of the night is beginning to get to me—the night being my life, the silence being no one, or nothing. Nothing. I have nothing. I have no one, I am alone. I begin panting. I am all alone in this world—no one would care if I disappeared. My hands become sweaty. I look to see the moon is blood red. I wonder why. A sign of disaster… or perhaps something new… I could just… disappear.

And

suddenly

can't

breath.

I scream tears through my throat, and pierces through the night. It is a scream of madness and resentment. Anger, yet joy. Loneliness. I can see lights flickering on. Including Len's. I'm pretty sure that everyone can see me now….

I take off, run, and dive in. And a wonderful, beautiful feeling of peace and joy enters my body….

Len's P.O.V

I awaken to a scream, and suddenly I am terrified. I know that scream. I rush to my window, which is wide open for some weird reason. My room has the view of the new nuclear reactor. And I see a figure on top of it.

I know that figure.

It jumps, and I can't see it anymore.

What... I don't—can't—understand what is going on.

I see a piece of paper on the floor, next to it a ribbon.

I know that ribbon, and who it should be with.

I pick up the note and read it. A sob emerges from my throat, and suddenly I am running as fast as I can, down the stairs, trying to stop that idiot from she has done. But it's too late… too late. The note is crushed in my hand, and I read it one more time.

Aishiteru. (A/N: Figure out what it means. Hint: It's in Japanese)

*Time Skip: A Few Days Later*

My mind flashes back to when the workers where mulling around the reactor. People crying, pretending like they know Rin for who she is. I. Hate. Them. They know nothing, and in a few weeks they will forget all about her. Just how they will conveniently forget how they drove Rin into a corner and forced her to do… this.

But a nasty voice in my head says that it is also my fault.

Why hadn't I noticed?

Why didn't I realize how lonely and upset Rin was?

Why didn't I realize that I was in love with her until it was too late?

Why hadn't I been there for her?

Why didn't I do something.

I should have.

Should have—but never can, now.

Rin and I where always a pair. (A/N: The things in italics is what Len is doing/thinking)

Its 2 A.M and I can't sleep. I wish that some sort of anesthetic ether would be given to me so that I could forget the pain, but nothing of the sort was within my reach.

The bunny and the wolf. We were often called that.

I honestly wish that everything was a lie. I just... want to disappear.

Always together.

My stomach feels like it's on fire, a pain that can never leave me.

Never to be apart.

I could literally feel this world dying through my eyes

Left and Right.

There was a ladder resting to the side, and I quickly scaled it. I looked in.

Rin would always lead.

I take off, run, and dive in.

I would—will—always follow.

Did you get the ending? Sorry for all of the character death :/ Does anyone wish for a (HAPPIER) alternate ending? If I get requested, then I will write it.

Also, did you catch the lyrics that I put in? (It was basically the entire story) The English lyrics are:

The town is filled with brilliant light
The chill of anesthetic ether
2 AM, and I can't sleep
Everything is changing so fast

The lighter's out of oil
The pit of my stomach is on fire
If everything is such a lie
Then it really would be better

I dreamed of wrapping my hands 'round your neck
On an early afternoon, overflowing with light
I dreamed, with eyes full of tears
of cinching your narrow throat

I want to dive into
a nuclear reactor
Surrounded by beautiful blue light
If I dive into
the nuclear reactor
then I can let it all go

On the other side of the balcony
The sound of someone climbing the stairs
The clouding sky falls into the room
through the window panes

In the scattering twilight
The sun is red, like teary eyes
Bit by bit, as if dissolving
Little by little this world is dying

I dreamed of wrapping my hands 'round your neck
'Neath curtains rustled by a breeze
The words overflow from your
dried up lips, like bubbles

I want to dive into
a nuclear reactor
So the memories melt away to white
If I dive into the nuclear reactor
Then I'll be able to sleep as I did long ago
That's how I feel

The second hand on the clock
And the officials on the tv
Are still there, but the laughter of someone I can't see
is echoing all through my head

Allegro Agitato
My ears won't stop ringing
Allegro Agitato
My ears won't stop ringing

I dreamed that everyone was disappearing
The emptiness and silence of this room in the night
Weighs down on me
I can't breathe anymore

(Shout!)

Should I dive into
the nuclear reactor
I know I can disappear, so I can sleep
A morning without me
Will be much more wonderful than now
Where everything is in gear

That sort of world, definitely

That is it. Ask questions if you have any. Hope that you liked it, and please review.