Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.
Rated: M
Warning(s): Slash, Threesome, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt(s), etc.

It was hard to leave, after they'd spent the last twenty-four hours glued to Seth's side. But they also recognized that visiting hours had ended close to an hour ago, and fighting with the head nurse would likely end with them sedated - in other words, of absolutely no use to Seth whatsoever. They popped in quickly, promising to show up first thing the next morning. Seth was too tired to do much more than agree.

Once outside, Dean cast Roman a side-long glance. He didn't know what had transpired between Roman and John in his absence, but he had a feeling the consequences of their little talk would be monumental. "Care to share what you and Johnny-boy were discussing while I filled up?"

"You're not going to like it." Roman said simply. Dean blinked slowly, allowing his words to sink in.

"After everything we've been through, we really can't afford to be keeping secrets from each other." Dean said sharply, hoping Roman really wouldn't keep something this important from him.

Roman scowled, "Really? That's rich, coming from you. Weren't you the one who faked his own death and staged it so that I would find the body? Weren't you the one who let me live in agony for weeks, thinking that I lost you?"

That stung - but he knew that Roman was one-hundred percent right. He really had no right to be pushing Roman like this after what he'd done, and he was foolish to think that Roman had just moved past it. "I did what I thought I had to in the situation. Looking back, I wouldn't do things the same way -,"

"I damn well hope you realize how badly you fucked-up." Roman cut him off, his tone dark and deadly.

An awkward silence fell over them. Dean had never intended for this to turn into a full-blown fight, and could only count his blessings that it didn't happen in front of Seth. Seth had already been through so much - he was still desperately attempting to recover from it all - he didn't need to deal with their shit on top of everything else. This was something that they needed to handle themselves.

With a sigh, Roman plopped down onto the stairs, running a hand over his face. Like Dean, he wasn't looking to start a fight, and he really wasn't in the mood to unearth all of these feelings that had lain dormant since their blow-out fight weeks before. They'd ended up back together and they were happy, or at least they maintained the facade of happiness. They needed to hold it together, to be able to put Seth back together.

Roman took a deep breath, before offering, "I'm not trying to pick a fight." He swallowed hard, continuing, "You know that the Authority originally wanted me. If I can convince Hunter that I'm on board with joining the Authority, we can find out how to get Seth out of his contract."

Dean looked at Roman like he'd grown a third head, "That has to be the absolute worst idea that I've ever heard."

"Yeah, well, it's the only idea we have right now." Roman spat back, his tone leaving no room for argument. "And I happen to think that it'll work."

"Whether or not it works isn't the problem!" Dean exclaimed. He was pulling at his hair, frustration seeping into his tone. Was he the only one who saw what an awful idea this was? "Seth's been with them a matter of weeks and look what happened! Randy was with them even longer, and he might die!"

His words were met with silence. Roman was staring at the concrete, deep in thought. Then, "That won't happen to me."

Dean's eyes blew wide, as if he couldn't believe what it was Roman was trying to tell him. "You don't know that!" He motioned to Roman's arm, as if to prove his point. How long had he hidden his self-harm from them, before they realized what was going on? "You know how you felt when you thought you lost me? I can't lose you!"

But Roman wouldn't have it. "You're not going to lose me, and you're not going to guilt me into changing my mind about this."

So this was what it had come to - tearing at each others throats in the parking lot of the emergency room, trying desperately to find a way to salvage the ruins of their relationship. Dean realized that he was absolutely terrified of losing everything he'd been fighting the last several months to protect. Walking away from this, there was no guarantee they'd be able to piece the shattered remains back together and form something whole, something beautiful.

"Roman?" Dean asked softly, almost as if he was afraid that the other man would respond. A grunt was the only acknowledgement that he recieved. "Are we going to be okay? I mean... after all this is over, are we still going to be able to be together?"

Roman was silent for a moment, before rising to his feet and starting toward the car. "We need to head back to the hotel and get some rest if we want to be back by the time Seth wakes up tomorrow."

"May I have a word, Mr. Cena?" Randy's PA had stumbled upon John, who was standing in the hallway just outside of Randy's room.

John jumped, not having realized that he wasn't alone. He swallowed hard and schooled his features, before offering the petite woman a small smile. "Sure. What was it that you wanted to discuss?"

"Randy... he's in a bad way, Mr. Cena. His will is strong, but his heart..." She looked down at his chart, shaking her head. "The damage his heart has sustained in the last forty-eight hours cannot be repaired through medical intervention. At this point, he's going to need a heart transplant."

John looked down at the ground, before admitting softly, "I know."

The PA raised an eyebrow, "I'm sorry?"

His hands bunched into fists at his sides, and he swallowed hard, before admitting, "I know that he's going to die. I made my peace with that the moment I got the call." He took a deep breath, steeling himself. "I know he's going to die. I just want to make the best of what little time we have left."

"He still has a chance, Mr. Cena -,"

John cut her off, "It's been a long time since I put all my faith in long-shots. I love him with all my heart, and I will do whatever I can to reasonably extend his life. But I'm not going to let him keep on suffering. He's fought the good fight - now it's time for him to rest."

The PA didn't know what to say to that, and so she simply allowed John to return his attention to the little window looking in on Randy's hospital room. The Viper was sleeping soundly, looking so peaceful that, if he didn't know any better, he wouldn't believe that he was so absolutely wrecked inside. John already had clearance from the doctor to stay the night - Randy was so touch-and-go that the doctor was hesitant to let him leave - but he couldn't quite go inside yet.

He thought back to what he had discussed with Roman and Dean, about what the Authority was doing. Didn't they care how they were destroying lives? Or did it not matter, simply because it wasn't their lives being affected? He had been happy with Randy. Hell, he'd even been planning on asking the other man to marry him. The life he had envisioned for them together was now completely shattered thanks to the selfishness of a company only concerned with what was best for business.

What was best for business was keeping the male and female superstars happy and healthy, allowing them to live their lives away from kayfabe without fear that their jobs would be on the line - or, even in some cases, their very lives. It was easy to forget that Randy hadn't been the first victim of behind-the-scenes manipulation. How could he forget that just a few months earlier, Phil had been shot down in a hotel staircase and left for dead?

Touching a hand to the window, he sighed, "I should've been there to protect you. I don't think I'm... no, I know I'm not ready to lose you f-forever. There will never be a day where I don't blame myself for what happened... or that I'm too much of a coward to tell you any of this to your face."

He slid his hand down the glass pane, before allowing it to fall to his side, motionless. Randy slept on, completely oblivious to John's internal plight. The struggle that John would never allow him to see, because he wanted him to reserve all of his energy to keeping himself alive for as long as possible. Taking a deep breath, he steeled his nerves and made his way over to the door, opening it and stepping into the eerie silence.

After all, he had an eternity to wallow in his grief and to contemplate all of the what-ifs. There was no telling how long he had left with Randy.

Dean didn't realize how badly off they were until he returned to their hotel room and found himself standing at the foot of the bed, unable to force himself to lay down in it. Forty-eight hours ago, they'd been sharing a bed without a problem. Now, something had shifted in their relationship and Dean didn't know if he could get in bed with him knowing how he felt.

"Are you just going to stand there all night, or are you going to come to bed? Either way, I'm going to sleep." Roman said, drawing the blankets up over his half-naked body and turning on his side so that his back was to Dean. It gave the other man a perfect view of the healing welts on his back.

Dean swallowed hard, "How is your back doing?" He tried.

Roman shrugged, "Does it matter?" There was a pause, then, "Let me answer that for you. No, it doesn't."

Dean sat at the foot of the bed, placing his head in his hands. "Look, if I'd thought I'd had any other options, believe me when I tell you that I wouldn't have staged my own suicide. I knew the psychological impact it would have on you and Seth... I was just trying to do what I thought was best."

"Look, I know how much you love to have these late-night chick flick moments, but I really don't want to talk about this right now." Roman said stiffly. "Yeah, you shouldn't have done it, but you did it. You staged it so well you fooled the entire world, including your lover. And it really hurt that you couldn't confide in me."

Dean shook his head, "You don't know how many times I wanted to just cave in and call you, to blow the whole plan to kingdom come and just come home to you two. When I saw what you'd done, how you'd hurt yourself, it disgusted me to know that I had caused it. I hated myself, Roman. I still do."

"When I found out that you were alive... for a brief, fleeting moment, I wished that you really had died." Roman whispered. "Because when I saw you standing there, totally unharmed, I realized just how much of a joke my feelings are to you."

And there it was. Finally, everything was out in the open between them. Dean felt like someone had gripped his heart in a solid steel vice and twisted until it burst beneath the pressure. How is one supposed to take hearing something like that from the one they held above all others? Knowing that, even in a moment of intense anger and betrayal, Roman had wished that he was dead - was almost more painful than watching the life slowly flow out of Seth in that bathtub.

The big man had kind of curled in on himself, as if protecting himself from the backlash of his statement. But Dean was just so flabbergasted, he hadn't the slightest about what to say. It wasn't until he saw Roman moving beneath the blankets that he was drawn from his stupor, the big man's short, blunt fingernails scratching superficial lines on his already injured arm. Thin beads of blood bubbled to the surface, criss-crossing the marks that were already there.

Dean climbed onto the bed behind him, shirt off and in his hands. He grabbed Roman's thick arm in his hands and pressed the shirt to the bloody wounds, whispering, "If it makes you feel any better... when I saw what you'd done to yourself because of me, I wished that I had died, too."

"That doesn't actually make me feel any better, no." Because if he actually had died, the devastation would've been that much worse, and both men knew it.

"Roman... I don't like your plan. I don't want you to get involved with the Authority, because I've seen firsthand the devastation that they cause. After everything we've been through, if I were to lose you or Seth, I don't think I could take it. It... It wouldn't be staged this time, Rome."

Roman narrowed his eyes, but didn't turn around to make eye contact with his lover. "Don't even talk like that."

Dean sighed, "It's the truth, whether you want to hear it or not." Once the bleeding had stopped, he ran a soothing hand along the length of Roman's back. "And I'm saying that while I'm not okay with it, I'll back you up on this one-hundred percent. I'm with you to the end of the line... if you'll have me."

Roman tried to ignore the way that, in such a serious moment, the other man had quoted fucking Captain America. His hazel eyes flickered down to the bloody shirt in Dean's hands, now completely ruined. He wanted things to return to normal just as badly as Dean did, but unlike the lunatic fringe, he didn't think it would be so easy. It wasn't like they could just pretend the last several months had never happened.

Regardless of whether or not the plan actually worked, Seth had still turned his back on them. Instead of trying to make things better, he'd taken the low road and chickened out. Dean had faked his own death, and Roman... well, he was left behind, the only one that hadn't screwed over his teammates in one way or another. Honestly, he didn't think he could handle the consequences of letting his trust be broken again.

And yet somehow, he found himself nodding, "Till the end of the line."

The next morning, they were back at Seth's side. Seth was currently recieving in-room PT, where the therapist was having him do some simple exercises to test his range of motion. Dean was put off by how swollen the wrist was, but the therapist assured him that it was normal and would go down with some ice. When the session was over, she wrapped an ice pack in a fluffy white towel and set it on his wrist.

"Seth, there's something we need to talk to you about." Roman began as soon as she had left the room. Seth looked a little uncertain, almost frightened. "It's nothing bad, don't worry about that. It's just... we think that we've come up with a way to find a loophole in your contract."

"Oh?" Seth raised an eyebrow, still seeming a little uncertain. "I'm not sure that I like the sound of that."

Dean pitched in, "This idea... it's a work in progress. But we think that we can make it work. Basically, Roman will infiltrate the Authority under the guise of wanting to join them, so that he can get his hands on a contract."

Seth shook his head, "It'll never work. Hunter's too smart for that, and besides, each contract is specifically tailored to hit each individual superstar where it hurts. No two contracts would be the same, so him signing on-board won't help me."

But Dean was quick to retort, "If we can find something illegal in Roman's contract, the resounding shitstorm might just be strong enough to force WWE to come clean about all the contracts. They'll be hammered with a lawsuit the likes of which they never saw coming."

Seth still didn't seem totally sold. "The Authority destroys everything that comes in its path, Roman. Are you sure you're ready to sign your own death certificate?"

Roman was silent for a moment, before assuring, "That's not going to happen. We're going to put an end to this, Seth. Nobody else is going to have to suffer."

But wasn't the damage that had already been done enough? Preventing it from spreading and ruining other lives was wonderful and all, but standing in the wreckage, the future looked pretty bleak. Seth couldn't help but worry that Hunter would chew Roman up and spit him back out, ending his career prematurely and completely shattering whatever legacy the Shield might've left behind.

But it was also the only viable idea that any of them had. So he smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes, and nodded as though he agreed, ignoring the awful sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that things were about to go from bad to worse.

A/N: Sorry about the time between updates, guys. My summer job is kicking my ass. On the brightside, off tomorrow - more updates! And there are only three more chapters left to Letters of Hate! It's almost time to put my baby to bed.

Let me know what you think!