Title: Back to the Drawing Board

Genre: Drama

Character(s): Dolores Umbridge

Summary: Professor Umbridge is sent an interesting package. A serious reading-the-books parody.

Dolores Umbridge was no fool, and it was highly insulting to her that someone thought she was.

She sat in her tastefully decorated office, looking disdainfully at the pile of books on it. There were seven of them, bound in jewel tones, and of varring thicknesses. The slimmest was no thicker than Slinkhard's delightful book, while the thickest was reaching brick proportions. Observers might have been baffled as to what offended Ms. Umbridge about the books; however, continued observation would reveal that it wasn't the books that drew her ire.

It was the scroll next to them.

It was an ordinary parchment scroll, indistinguishable from the hundreds that the students of Hogwarts wrote essays on. It's only distinguishing feature was that it written in an ornate style no Hogwarts student used.

It read:

'Dear Professor Umbridge,

You don't know me, but I know you. I know of your mission to open everyone's eyes to the lies spread by Potter and Dumbledore, the lies that undermine the Ministry of Magic.

These books can help. They tell, from his own point of view, of Potter's years at Hogwarts. Including, of course, a first person account of what really happened at the Third Task.

Summon all of the students and staff to the Great Hall and read these aloud so that he can't deny them. Summon too the Minister, Percy Weasley, and Amelia Bones.

These books could change the world.

Use them wisely.

Sincerely,

A Friend'

Dolores Umbridge's first reaction had been delight; finally, finally she could truly strike back at those slandering the Ministry and dear Cornelius.

Her second reaction, immediately after the first, was suspicion.

Who was 'A Friend'? Why would they be helping her? What were their motives? Their agenda? It was the first rule in politics: everyone wanted something. So what did this person want?

Acting on her suspicions, Dolores did not do as the note suggested; instead of reading with a crowd in the Great Hall, she read alone in her study accompanied only be her kitten plates.

She skipped to the fourth book (they were conveniently numbered) and found the chapter titled 'The Third Task'.

Ten minutes into her reading and she knew she'd made the right decision.

Slamming the book shut, she stormed over to her desk and dropped the book as if it were poison.

It was poison.

It was propaganda, a prank, the next step in Potter's plot- trying to get her to believe it! Trying to get her to embarrass herself in front of the whole school!

Which brings us back to the beginning.

Dolores Jane Umbridge is glaring at the books, attempting to puzzle out who 'A Friend' is. Potter? His friends? Those horrid Weasley twins? That group from the Hog's Head?

...Yes. That must be it.

Calming down slightly, Dolores composed herself, then swiftly levitated the stack of books, note and all. With a flick of her wand, they flew to the fireplace, where they promptly burst into flames.

Dolores smiled as the flames crackled, slowly turning the lies to ash. That group... it must be. No one student could put together all those, but a group of law-breakers definitely could.

They meant to humiliate her with this, meant to intimidate her. She would show them. She wasn't afraid. She would find them and she would crush them. They still existed, of that she had no doubt- rules meant nothing to criminals.

But she'd win in the end. And she knew exactly how to do it...

A/N: Umbridge is evil, not stupid. She's also paranoid. I doubt she'd just follow a note. And would you, in her place?

I know I wouldn't...

Like? Dislike? Please review.