Chapter Four

Sorry it took a while. Life. Also tornadoes through my town, floods, while the other half of Australia is on fire.

-x-

Primarily on the list: Dress in brighter colours.

It was the first morning of his soon to be happier life. Well, to Sasuke it felt like the morning, but it was really midday and the only reason he woke up was because the Konoha summer was too hot to sleep through once it reached its peak. His body ached and his skull throbbed with the coarseness of a restless night. He had been out cold for hours, ensnared in a dreamless slumber, and still felt as if he'd never slept a night in his life.

Sasuke now stared at his plain wardrobe, his brain not yet functioning at full capacity. There wasn't a single item of clothing in his limited collection that was a colour other than black, white or blue. Where was his motley of garments with all sorts of flavours, one for every emotion, for every activity? He used to have one of those. Now, everything was cloned into the same outfit. Whenever Sasuke found himself in need of new clothes (they were often ripped or terminally damaged in his line of work), he made an order for his customary ninja attire. All ninja were required to have one malleable, resilient outfit they wore during missions. Since Sasuke never had the need to wear anything else, he never bought anything else, simple as that. He did have a black full-body suit packed away somewhere, beneath the mulch of discarded shirts and pants that formed a thick, impenetrable layer he would not dare delve into in the corner of his room; he wouldn't want to retrieve that thing anyway, it made him look like a gothic Lee.

What was he to do? The first task on his 'Happy List' and he was already stuck. He briefly considered borrowing some of Naruto's clothing, admonishing the idea instantly. There was always the option of dyeing his clothes brighter, but they might turn out to be something akin to muddy brown and would ruin every garment he owned. So there was only one solution.

Shopping. He shuddered.

There was nothing Sasuke found worse than shopping; not even Kakashi's tardiness, not even feeling helpless in the midst of a ninja that excelled where he didn't, not even being chased by coyotes disguised as human girls. The contradiction of selfish, bustling people so desperate to be free of the commotion yet refusing to leave. Grumpy, sometimes scruffy, comatose employees who didn't bother doing their jobs. And, worst of all, babies. They cried, they screamed, they pooped whenever and wherever they wanted to (usually when Sasuke was nearby) and they seemed to believe the world revolved around them. On more than one occasion had Sasuke seen shameless mothers breastfeeding in public and seldom did he not gag when he remembered he was once such a nuisance. Everything kept going steadfast in this endless cycle of dread until you just couldn't take it anymore and were forced to leave the shops without fulfilling the initial purpose of going there.

That might have just been him, though.

Even worse was clothes shopping. The employees in the clothing outlets were the only enthusiastic ones and were very good at giving their opinion where it wasn't wanted. Beware when exiting the dressing room, for they will try and sell every single garment tried on by persuading and convincing their victim it looks amazing with their figure.

Especially that it makes their butt look good. Especially when it doesn't.

Sasuke hears other people's opinions on his appearance all the time without them – he gets anonymous notes in his backpacks with doodled love hearts and wishful thinking, girls wink at him everywhere he goes regardless of their age, his Aunties used to coo and pinch his cheeks and still he sometimes has random elderly women try to force shapeless blobs of hard candy into his hands when he goes by the retirement home with ruffle of his hair and a pat to his butt, Sakura reminds him almost every time he sees her that her love is unparalleled by any other and also that he has really nice eyes. Whatever, he really didn't care, and he really didn't need other people to be paid to hear what he heard every day.

Sasuke tried rummaging through bags of his old clothes that he never got around to throwing out, but everything was too small or childish or both. Most were stained, too. He was a very adventurous child, it seemed. Funny how he didn't remember getting dirty so often. He despised feeling unclean, especially after a mission when you were layered in sweat, grime and oftentimes blood.

After fruitless searching, he slumped onto his duvet, unable to shake the lousy feeling gathered in his chest. He had already failed his mission to get happier—and on the first day, too. Sasuke clenched his teeth and balled his fists. A hopelessly angry feeling flared inside. He had no idea why he was overreacting so much, but he couldn't seem to help it, and in an attempt to vent his frustration he pushed over a photo frame on his bedside table without thinking. It clattered onto the carpet with a soft thump.

Sasuke stared at the frame lying face-down on the floor for a few moments before sighing deeply and sinking into his mattress, burying his face in his hands. His heart had caught fire and he needed time to catch his breath - when had breathing become so hard? With a start he realised what he'd done. Sasuke scrambled onto the floor in an instant to retrieve the frame, eyes wide, checking it for scratches, dents, a reason to scold himself. Thankfully, the carpet in his bedroom softened the impact and no damage was dealt.

Forcing himself to calm down, Sasuke carefully rested the picture of him on his seventh birthday smiling next to his mother, father, uncle, auntie and cousin Mitsuki. He wasn't sure who'd taken the photo but he had an unpleasant suspicion it was Itachi behind the camera that day. Sasuke wasn't going to let such a minor imperfection ruin this picture for him, though.

It was his favourite childhood memory; the only day he remembered everything in his life being absolutely perfect. Mikoto and Fugaku Uchiha were crouching on either side of Sasuke in the middle of a large black, red and white checkered picnic blanket in their backyard emblazoned with a large Uchiha fan. Streamers got caught in his hair and little bits of rainbow confetti clung to his cheeks and arms, hung from his eyelashes. He always smiled at the goofy expression on his younger, chubbier face—eyes popping out of his skull in awe of the massive chocolate birthday cake his Betty Crocker grandmother baked with seven candles on the top and a big frosting shuriken, even though he didn't like sweets. He had a major sweet tooth back then, mostly because Itachi did too and he'd wanted to be just like his older brother. He'd become the polar opposite after...

His mother was kissing his cheek and glancing at the camera from the corner of her eye. Fugaku rested a hand on his shoulder, in what had been the kindest gesture his father was capable of without having an aneurism, a ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. His auntie and uncle had their hands entwined and were both laughing uncontrollably at his expression. Aunt Akiko's eyes looked cross-eyed and her head was thrown askew and her jaw looked out of place and you could see the cellulite in her thighs with that sarong flapping in the wind, but she was still just as pretty as his mother, Sasuke thought.

Perhaps if his family was still alive and he lived like a normal boy, this photo would have embarrassed him by how plump and bubbly he'd been, but nothing else made Sasuke feel so at ease. It was precious.

He kept it on his bedside table was because that was his goal. To have everything in his life just as perfect as back then. To be completely content with his life—happy, like Anko said. It had been there for years, reminding Sasuke that maybe there was the slightest glimmer of hope that he could feel that way again, even though he was just a small child and everything had been far less complicated.

Sasuke's brow creased as he rearranged the photo frame on his bedside table. When he was satisfied that the picture was facing his bed at just the right angle it had been before, he reminded himself of what he had been doing—getting upset over the fact that he had no bright clothing. He'd considered all his options. It seemed that going shopping was the only way. With a heavy breath of knowledge that he faced impending doom, Sasuke stumbled to the front door and pocketed his wallet.

Konoha was a very upbeat, old-fashioned village. Each building was painted warm colours that had faded slightly in the sun. Cracks and vines slunk up the walls and gave the streets a vintage appeal. The buildings and vendors themselves were scenery. All the gravelly dirt roads and pathways amalgamated into one giant maze of cul-de-sacs and roundabouts that sprouted into streets and avenues like the roots of mangroves. Most curious of all, no matter where you were in Konoha, you could always see the Hokage monument, and beneath that, their tower. So, that meant the Hokage could always see every inch of the village from her office. Sometimes Sasuke would be wandering about and feel his neck niggling like someone is watching him, but when he turned to see what had set off his senses, all he saw was gleam from the window into Tsunade's office. Terribly irksome.

Once he exited his apartment and reached the bottom of the stairs, Sasuke took an appreciative breath of the open air. It was clammy and burned the inside of his nose. Wonderful.

Summer in the Leaf Village was sometimes worse than Sand, because they had the highest exposure to UV rays from the sun, being directly on the equator. Suna had arid, stale, mouth-drying summers, that gave you the kind of feeling in your mouth you get after eating ten plain biscuits consecutively without swallowing or drinking. Konoha had humidified, sweat-inducing, skin cancer summers, that gave you a brittle film of crust after being exposed to the sun and heatstroke and often caused people to faint.

Sasuke didn't want to waste any time contemplating the weather, however. This shopping trip would be over as soon as possible. Realising he forgot to check, Sasuke quickly examined the contents of his wallet and was pleased to find he had enough money to spend. He surely did not lack in finances, due to the vast amounts of cash he received being the only heir to the Uchiha name. Sasuke had more than enough treasures from generations of legendary Uchiha to last five long lifetimes financially, and most of it would go untouched. However, that money couldn't lawfully be spent until he was eighteen. Moreover, he'd already decided that the majority of the money would be passed down to his children one day and assist in creating a comfortable lifestyle for future generations, and imminent renovations to the Uchiha compound. He just needed a family to share it with first...

While making his way to the markets, Sasuke mostly kept his head down, occasionally glancing as people walked by. Kids had their hands clasped in those of their parents. Couples canoodling on park benches were smitten to the extent of becoming oblivious to a world outside their own. There were people purchasing things they didn't need—people purchasing things they did need but probably took for granted. So much was happening in other people's lives. It was strange to think that everyone he passed had their own secrets, their own problems, their own private affairs and that none of them were really being affected by Sasuke's when he felt so overwhelmed by them.

A shrill voice interrupted his thoughts. "Sasuke? Ohmygosh, Sasuke! Where have you been?"

His body froze as his eyes scanned the vicinity. Sakura… he couldn't see her. Not in his current state, especially after not showing up for training or missions for what was probably weeks now.

Sasuke searched in vain for an escape route as the pink-haired kunoichi stormed towards him with such killer intent he felt cold sweat dripping down his forehead. At first the massive crowd held her off, but soon she started shoving people out of her way and eventually a path divided itself through the horde to avoid injuries. Sasuke spied an opening directly to his left and slipped through it, realising at the last moment it was a dead-end alleyway littered with trash and crude graffiti.

Her footsteps echoed as she approached him from behind. Sasuke turned to face her, keeping his features as straight as possible so she couldn't get upset over any expressions he may get wrong. A strange mixture between concern and fury twisted across Sakura's face as she closed in on him, the two of them alone save for a few cockroaches and rats hiding in the walls and under garbage.

She planted herself directly in front of him, eradicating any chance of a getaway. Sasuke tried to come up with something decent to say to her expectant face.

"Sakura, what are you doing here?" he asked as detachedly as he could. Her frown deepened. Nice one, genius. Might as well get comfy, this will take a while. He slouched over himself, kicking away a nearby can and leaning against a brick wall. "Say what you need to say. But make it quick."

Sakura closed in on him further, nostrils flared. "Say what I need to say? I'm not the one who needs to start talking here! Do you have any idea how worried I've been? You haven't been on a mission with Naruto and I in ages! You just disappeared off the face of the planet!"

Not that he was a very gregarious person, but Sasuke's lack of a social life recently was one of the many disadvantages of seeing a psychologist. Ninja were supposed to be pulled off of their teams when they were having... 'problems', sometimes exceptions being allowed, and Sasuke had no problem with getting off missions for now. He literally hadn't spoken to either of his teammates since he'd been taken off duty while seeing Anko, which was about... a month or so? Two? He'd completely lost track of time doing nothing.

"I was busy."

Sasuke shrunk into the prickly brick wall and grimaced under the cold glare Sakura pierced through him. It pinched at his skin.

"Doing what? Sailing around the world? Cleaning your house with a toothbrush? Writing letters to every person who has ever existed ever? You know, ever since you left the team we haven't had a single successful mission! Naruto only does his best when he tries to make you look bad, and Kakashi-sensei just doesn't give a damn about anything and I've just missed you so much that I couldn't concentrate! And no successful missions means no pay, you know that, obviously. I haven't had any income for the past month and my parents have been giving me such a hard time, not to mention Naruto's got practically nothing to live off of, not that I care really because he's annoying, but still. We're a team, we need you! Why aren't you around anymore, anyway? Are you sick? You could at least have the courtesy to write me or come visit so that I know you're okay! Do you see the bags under my eyes? Do you see them? I hope you know that you're responsible for this. Ugh!"

She stomped her foot and ground her teeth, catching her breath. Sakura was the ranting queen – always had been – so Sasuke expected nothing less. He was quite impressed, to be honest. She only took about three breaths. She was really mad. Madder than she'd ever been towards him before.

"Why didn't you come to see me instead?" Sasuke said, regaining his composure. "If you thought I was sick why would you expect me to drag my ill self around for your benefit?"

Sakura drew a sharp breath, arms folded.

"Well, I…" Sasuke was glad to hear her voice was back to normal. "I've never been to your place before," she mumbled.

"But you know where it is," he pointed out.

"Look that's not the point! What I want you to know is that a lot of people were worried about you!" Really? Because nobody else had stormed up to him out of the blue and attempted to deafen him with unfair accusations. He soon felt really tired. She'd drained all his energy simply by being present. "Especially me... you know sometimes I think you don't appreciate me at all. Don't you care about me? I-I mean, as a friend, even. If I disappeared for a month without warning, what would you do? Well, tell me, Sasuke, what would you do."

"Okay, I get it, Sakura," he sighed, trying to push past her, but she didn't seem to notice.

Sakura took a deep breath to calm herself. "Good. You better not do it again."

He nodded absently, hoping she would shut up. The two stood there silently when it seemed to dawn on Sakura who she was talking to, like she had stepped out of her body to scold him. She blushed scarlet.

"Well… bye," Sasuke said, but didn't move. Mostly because she was in his way, and didn't look like she was going any time soon.

"Wait," she burst out, then covered her mouth coyly, giving him the eyes. Looks like she was back to normal. "While we're here, do you want to get something to eat?" He decided to definitely say no immediately, when she added quickly, "we wouldn't be alone of course. I have a friend here…" Sasuke glanced around at the clear lack of Sakura's friend. "Oh my gosh, I totally forgot about her!"

"I'm in the middle of something right now—" he began. Her shoulders slumped and she looked down at her shoes, reeking disappointment.

"Oh." Oh God. That lone syllable, dripping with deject, drenched in despair, dowsed with disappointment. It made Sasuke feel kind of bad about instantly shutting her down. Her eyes were downcast and she shuffled out of his way, but he couldn't make himself move.

Stupid girls and their stupid ways of getting what they want.

"Oh, fine," he agreed reluctantly. "But I can't be too long. I really need to run some errands." Her entire face brightened like a firework display and she gasped exuberantly. She was like a whole new person.

"Really? Okay great because I know this nice place that sells bento boxes – you like bento don't you? – they have this cool new soda pop mango flavour and oh my gosh, I can't wait to see Ino's face – but why am I even talking about Ino, don't worry she's nothing you need to think about – anyway so it's just around the corner and—"

"Sakura?" a small voice squeaked from the alley's opening. Sasuke's spine stiffened as the voice registered in his memory. Peering over Sakura's head, he confirmed his suspicions.

"Hinata, sorry about that," Sakura smiled. She beckoned to the other girl and promptly turned back to Sasuke. "We were just out kimono shopping. Hinata's been invited to a prestigious dinner to welcome Ame's Ambassador into our alliance as a representative of their village. It's so imperial, right?" she giggled, squeezing the Hyuga Heiress' shoulders affectionately.

Funny. Sasuke didn't remember Sakura being that close to Hinata. In fact, the two girls hardly interacted with one another at all. Perhaps girls were born with an uncontrollable urge fostered within to meddle in any affair that weren't their own.

Hinata stared at him like he had just admitted murder. Sasuke was fully aware he was ogling at her with the same steady gaze. She knew he was seeing a shrink—a fact that punctured his pride and ego. Hinata felt similar, only for less self-centered reasons. She didn't like tainting her clan's name by being so vulnerable. Sasuke knew the truth about her, and she couldn't have him telling her secrets, could she? Imagine what her father would say to her. Imagine what people would think of the clan, what they'd whisper whenever Hiashi turned his back: "He acts so high and mighty, but did you hear about his daughter? Can you believe someone like that will be clan head one day? The Hyuuga have really lost their game..."

Sakura glimpsed confusedly between the two, clearly missing something and knowing it, too.

"Is everything okay?" she asked. Silence was her reply.

Hinata seemed so timid and puny. Even when she stared at Sasuke with an intensity not often shown, there was a hint of weakness in her gaze that made him feel better than her.

"I'm so confused," Sakura, irritated now, said loudly to end their ocular showdown. Both Sasuke and Hinata snapped out of their daze and looked at her blankly. This was bad, she thought. Sasuke was paying far too much attention to her, and she'd only just arrived, too...

"Sorry," Hinata murmured. "U-um, hello," she almost whispered to Sasuke. He nodded in reply.

Sakura's stomach gurgling interrupted their scene. She pressed her hands down onto her tummy in embarrassment, offering a strained smile. "Sorry, I just haven't eaten since breakfast…"

"So let's eat," Sasuke said. He was glad that he'd agreed to have lunch with them now that Hinata was there. Hopefully she hadn't told anyone about his appointments already.

Hinata tilted her head to the side. "We're h-having lunch?"

"Oh, yeah. Just at the bento place around the corner," Sakura informed her without bothering to look Hinata's way.

"Um..." Hinata played with the furred hem of her jacket. "Oh, actually, I should be heading home s-soon, so—"

"My treat," Sasuke said tonelessly.

"You don't have to Sasuke," Sakura breathed, thrilled by this dreamlike turn of events in her day.

"I insist." He narrowed his eyes at Hinata, who was fiddling. Why so nervous? She probably did tell someone! Now she didn't want to face the consequences! It made his blood boil.

"Actually, I have something I n-need to do… so you two can go on your own, if y-you'd like…" Hinata, who was carrying no shopping bags and had clearly not spent nearly enough time kimono shopping, tried to skirt around Sakura and make a break for it.

"But you haven't got a kimono yet," Sasuke said darkly. Both girls paused to look at him.

"Er, yeah, that's right," Sakura said slowly. She seemed torn between two choices: helping Hinata find a new kimono, which every girl enjoyed, and eating alone with Sasuke, which every girl fantasised. Hinata started to panic at the prospect of having lunch with the Uchiha, who was acting particularly hostile towards her.

Hopefully Sasuke hadn't told anyone about her appointments. That's it—he must have spilled the beans and now he was trying to scare her off so she wouldn't have the guts to confront him about it later! Oh, he wouldn't win that easily. Hinata was shy, sure, anxious, overwhelmingly, but she wasn't a pushover. Well, not always. Okay, so, sometimes she had her moments, but she didn't know Sasuke very well and what she did know of him wasn't so nice, therefore she didn't care much about his opinion of her. Hinata's counselor was her secret and he had no right to use the details to fuel the gossip mill.

"You can't go to a dinner party with the Ambassador in anything but a nice formal kimono," he persuaded smoothly. "Just think about your clan's reputation."

Sakura began to nod. "Sasuke's right. Why don't you come have lunch with us then we can continue looking for an outfit for you to wear?"

Hinata frowned slightly at the Uchiha.

"I'll let you two do that on your own, of course," he persisted.

"That's a great idea," Hinata answered with what she hoped sounded like confidence, determined not to let Sasuke frighten her.

"Great," Sakura piped half-heartedly, despairing over her lack of privacy with her crush but still looking forward to spending time with him regardless.

Sasuke fell back behind the girls and let them lead the way, zoning out while Sakura babbled on about patterns and silks, giving him time to think through what he'd say to Hinata.

-x-

ALL THESE HOES ON MY DICK.

Thanks for the reviews btw.