"YAMATOOOOOOOOO!"

The Wood-Jutsu user flinched slightly. Kakashi looked amused.

"LET US OUT, YOU DAMN BASTARD! I SWEAR WHEN WE GET OUT-"

"NARUTO! SHUT. UP!" A smack resounded through the air and Naruto screeched. He began to whimper.

"But Sakura-chan-"

"I do not understand why you two are so very against this. Is this not a prime opportunity to-"

"YOU TOO, SAI!" Another smack. Yamato face-palmed. Kakashi looked amused.

Team Seven had been sent on yet another B-Class mission, as Naruto had finally been promoted to Chunnin rank. As usual, all three were bickering, and, as usual, it was Naruto and Sakura against Sai.

Yamato had finally snapped and sealed them all completely into a dome of wood. And made sure to include breathing holes in the top. They were probably going to be in there for a good while.

"Sakura-chan! Why don't you bust us out with-"

"You don't think I've tried that already?! The bastard drained our chakra while we were sleeping!" Yamato looked sheepish. Kakashi looked amused.

"Perhaps we could spend this this time to delve into the complexity of human-" Yet another smack. This time, though, Sai had the decency to let out a small yelp. Sakura felt a tiny spark of relief. She also mentally dubbed herself a sadist.

"Hey, you guys! Teamwork is important, all right? I'm not letting you out until you work things out between yourselves! You need to stop fighting already!"

Kakashi cackled.

"Teamwork?! I'll show you teamwork! Hell, I'll shove it right up your-"

"Gah!"

"Why is this space so freaking small?! You couldn't at least have given us more room?!"

"I understand that small spaces allow for people to bond-"

"SHUT UP, SAI!"

"Ah. I see that your chest is as flat as-"

"STOP FEELING ME UP, YOU PERV-"

"DON'T YOU TOUCH SAKURA-CHAN, YOU-"

"I also see that Naruto remaines dickless-"

"YOUUUUUUUUUU-"

Kakashi actually put away the Icha Icha book he was presently reading. Yamato stared at him, bemused. Kakashi shrugged. "This is more entertaining."

"Yamato!" Sakura wailed. Yamato covered his ears in vain. He could imagine her eyes tearing up, her lower lip trembling.

"No mercy, no mercy," Yamato muttered through gritted teeth. "I am a ninja. I feel nothing. No mercy-"

"Captain Yamato, please!" Yamato slammed his head into the nearest tree he could find.

"Please." Her voice was softer, and the two boys with her actually managed to keep their mouths shut for more than fifteen seconds. Yamato sighed in defeat and began to clap his hands together.

Kakashi uncovered his Sharingan in a flash and stared him down ferociously. Yamato felt his blood turn to ice.

"Don't do it." Kakashi spoke in a hiss. "They will tear you apart limb from limb. Like... like squirrels." Yamato raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn't question this analogy.

He sat back, closed his eyes, and waited for the bickering and violence that was sure to commence.

But it didn't.

Both Kakashi and Yamato exchanged alarmed glances. Yamato imagined that they had all somehow managed to murder one another. Kakashi was busy dreamily envisioning a fantasy in which all three were making up... and making out.

Shudder.

Two more minutes passed, and Yamato's eye was twitching.

Another two minutes. He was doing his best to shove his head into the ground. Kakashi was giggling.

Finally, after five more minutes, Yamato split the air with a wordless shriek and undid the wood jutsu as fast as he possibly could.

And two ninjas leapt at him. A third, presumably Sai, was lying on the ground, out cold. So that's how they got him to cooperate.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Naruto roared.

"DIE!" Sakura snarled.

"What the hell?"

They all froze.

Sasuke eyed the team warily.

"You're all insane."