Merlin woke with a start, jerking up slightly in panic before he realized he was alone in his small room. He had been on edge for a week, ever since he, Arthur and the others fled Camelot; being on the run had not been good to his nerves, and going to sleep every night fearing that he might wake up in enemy hands had taken its toll on him. He wondered how long it would be before he could sleep soundly again without feeling vulnerable and unsafe.

This time, however, he thought it might also have been bad dreams that woke him, and it wasn't hard to guess what they were about. Morgana's hunched form shielding Morgause's body hadn't quite left his mind yet, and her screams had haunted him all night. He had felt the sheer force of her desperation in those shrieks, felt the power they held in his very core, felt his own magic reacting. It had been like a kick to his gut, a reminder of everything that had gone wrong, everything he had done wrong in trying to help her. He was the reason she had ended up there, crouching over her unconscious sister with the crown of Camelot on her head, screaming her pain to the world until the world responded around her. It was all his fault, every last bit of it, and the guilt was constantly gnawing at the edges of his mind.

Merlin groaned and fell back on his pillow. The last thing he wanted right now was to be thinking about Morgana and the whole fiasco in the throne room. He had gotten back rather late the night before after hiding the sword in the stone, and upon returning he had gone straight to bed, exhausted and ready to pass out. He'd even brushed off Gaius, who'd been trying to talk to him about some conversation with Arthur, and insisted that they could discuss it after he slept. He felt slightly guilty about that, since Gaius had seemed rather intent about it, but he had been much too tired to deal with anything new.

Merlin looked at his window; the sun was only just rising and the smallest bit of light was visible above the roofs. It was still early, and all he wanted was to go back to sleep. He lay there for a while longer, trying very hard to relax and lose consciousness, but it was no good; he was wide awake, and no matter how tired he may be, echos of Morgana's screams prevented him from losing consciousness. He groaned again softly and pulled himself up out of bed, stretching. He pulled on a shirt and some breeches and headed for the door, quietly peeking out to see if Gaius was up yet. The room was silent, so he grabbed his boots and carefully went down the stairs, trying not to make much noise.

This City Never Sleeps at Night

Summary: Companion to Blind Trust. A look at what was going on in Merlin's head spanning the events of chapters six and seven.

Now published!