Uh, so this is strange, and it might have a part two, but equally it might not, because I am stumped for how to follow this.

A Rock And A Hard Place

Soul doesn't know how to bring it up, and because his parents slyly made Stephan, Wes's husband of just about six months, go take Maka on a 'turn about the garden' he can't get her to bring it up either. He's been backed into a corner of this ridiculous, lavish gazebo and he has no escape.

Well, obviously, it's a gazebo and it's surrounded by plenty of open space and it wouldn't be too difficult to vault over the railing and make a break for freedom, if it weren't for two things: 1) He doesn't want to be rude and, 2) he left his iPod up in his room and he wouldn't have a time for a detour.

He definitely should have brought it up sooner, but there never seemed like a good time, and he didn't want to steal Wes's thunder.

The whole problem, is the fact that his parents brought it up in the first place. In fact, if he really thinks about it, the whole problem is that Wes got married. Now his parents seem to have forgotten how much stress and hassle that extravagant wedding had been and are really angling for another one.

One problem.

They only have two kids.

And both of them are already married.

He really didn't mean for it to go this far, but with his parents looking at him like that and offering him his Gran's engagement ring (the one Wes had refused, insisting that she'd want Soul to have it and that it wouldn't even fit Stephan anyway) he can't quite bring himself to say "Sorry guys, me'n'Maka got hitched approximately two hours into our first date. The officiant was dressed like Elvis, and our witnesses were two Painted Ladies and a Drag Queen we found in the skeevy casino across the road."

Yeah, that'd go down real well.

So, he's doing his best impression of a fish at the minute, trying to figure out a way out of this that won't result in him losing whatever share of the inheritance not following the career path laid out for him since birth gets him. He knows money can't buy happiness, but he and Maka are going to have kids one day and he wants them to be able to go to college without worrying about the crippling debt.

He and Maka can go to college for free, but what if their kids aren't Weapons, or Meisters? What if they just want to be... normal, educated nine to five type people? He seriously doubts that'll happen, but he needs to stay well on the safe side where his hypothetical future kids are concerned.

"Well...?" his mother prompts, "don't you think you ought to marry that young lady?"

"Sooner or later she's going to realize she can do better."

He knows his dad is joking, but it still stings like a bitch. She could do better. She could also do worse, and he's kind of proud of the small steps he's taken in regaining some self esteem.

He's still caught between a rock and a hard place though- admit that he and Maka are married, or have a fake, extravagant wedding on his parents dime with all the relatives who will be scared of his friends.

He should probably discuss it with Maka. She might not know what to do, but at least he won't have to face this decision alone.

"Soul? What's wrong? Do you... not want to marry Maka?" Wes asks possibly the stupidest question he's ever asked about Soul's life in Death City. Of course he wanted to marry Maka, hasn't Wes seen how stupid his face gets around her? Hasn't he seen Soul actually dancing with her? Hasn't he seen Soul? Just in general? Soul is so goddamn in love with that girl it's embarrassing.

He's not sure how Maka can stand to be seen in public with him and his moon-eyes.

"Don't be fucking dense," Soul said, "Of course I want to marry her."

"Then why don't you just take the ring and-"

Come clean? Have fake wedding? Neither are good options.

If he tells them that they already got married he'll have to admit that she didn't take the Evans name. He'll have to admit that she tacked his stage name -the one he picked when he was twelve to mask his link to the prominent Evans family of musicians (not that he'd needed to bother, seeing as it hadn't made a blind bit of difference when he took it back, because his family was only well known in certain circles that didn't include anyone at the DWMA apparently)- onto hers to make fun of him. He'll have to admit that being linked by the same moniker has turned out to be like, a thing for him.

He does feel sorry for their future kids though, it's looking an awful lot like they are going to be little Eaters as opposed to anything else.

His mom has barely stashed the velvet box in her day bag when Maka returns with Stephan. Wes looks vaguely puzzled, he has ever since his mom busted out the ring and laid into the speech about the shortness of life and treasuring your loved ones and spring being a beautiful time to get married and the pitter-patter of the feet of tiny grandchildren.

It was all about the grandchildren, they were the endgame.

She couldn't pressure Wes about the grandchildren issue, seeing as he and Stephan were... Well, they couldn't pass on the prided upon Evans genetics.

These things happen, and his parents, if they'd rather that the Evans line wasn't going down the Meister/Weapon route it appears that they are flat out of luck. Still, his mum is now offering Maka a hot drop and classy enough not to bring up the issue of 'getting on the baby making train'.

It's going to be a long week.

Soul thinks he's in the clear for the rest of the trip. It's kind of a dick move, but he does use Maka as a buffer between him and his family. She knows what he's up to, and she manages to make it look as subtle as possible. She doesn't ask him any questions, but he can tell she wants to. She knows it was hard enough for him to come here.

Of course, there comes a time when enough is enough and she locks him in a room with his brother in what Soul can only quantify as the weirdest game of Seven Minutes in Heaven he's ever been a part of.

"Did your girlfriend just-?"

"Yeah."

Enough time passes that if it was Seven Minutes in Heaven, they'd be out of the room by now. The silence is long, but not uncomfortable. Expectant maybe. Soul thinks he knows what Wes wants to hear, but he would really appreciate if Wes would clarify before he starts spilling his guts.

Maybe that's the point, he spills his guts and Wes finds out everything he wants to know and then some. It's a smart move, when you think about it, but Soul can do years of sullen silence, How hard can companionable silence be?

Three minutes later, Soul caves.

"What do you want to know?" He sighs, shoving his hands deep into his pockets and kicking the air.

"Everything! Soul! Who do you think I am?"

Soul knows exactly who Wes is, because Wes is a sharer and Soul is Wes's only friend. Wes has a tendency to go from friends to friends with benefits to in love and once the dust clears the friend thing is rubble. Basically, Wes is a walking disaster and Stephan is a goddamn American hero. Soul feels bad about leaving Wes on his own for all those years, but he kind of thinks Wes needed to learn how to have friends and not fall into bed with them in, like, a week.

Wes managed it once, lasted a whole six months, and now they're married.

If his brother can manage to convince someone to stick by his side until death, Soul can tell the truth.

"Uh, me and Maka aren't dating?"

"What?" Wes said. "what do you mean you aren't dating? Was this some sort of weird... Ploy? You guys are pretending to be together? This is the kind of thing that happens in tacky romcoms."

"You love tacky romcoms."

"You go me there. But seriously? You guys are fake dating?"

Soul has to make a split second decision and hope that it's the right one.

"I, uh don't know how I thought we could get away with it... But actually..."

Alright time to come clean you got this, just tell Wes. Tell Wes you married her, just spit it out you're supposed to be leaving in fifteen minutes anyway. You can do this Soul, you literally fought a Kishin on the moon one time. You got this.

"Yeah, we're not really dating."

Fuck.

Please R&R.