Intro - Hi guys. My name is Jac (short for "Jacqueline" by the way) and this is my diary of my life in the world of the 'Karate Kid' trilogy (I flatly refuse to acknowledge the existence of 'The Next Karate Kid'! I mean, really!?). I'll bring you up to speed on my life and its ties there so far... ooh! Actually, come to think about it, I'd probably better explain why and HOW it's possible for me to live there. Oh boy! Here goes...

To cut a REALLY long story VERY short (or, trust me, we'll be here all day... make that year) I'm a "starhopper". Don't try looking that term up. I invented it myself. If you look it up you'll probably find astrological charts or some shit. Pfft. Anyway, starhoppers can travel to any world ever created which includes movies, books, games... etc. I've always done it, which is why I need to give you a brief, life update. (Anyone who thinks this is too weird, please spare me the nasty reviews and stop reading now!)

So, I've been here before. When I first arrived, Johnny was with Ali and Daniel wouldn't show up for a good few months. To put it mildly, the Cobras were ASSHOLES! None worse than Johnny, I swear. I hung out where they did for ages. I guess I had the fact that I was a girl in my favour. They let me hang out with them but I knew their opinion of females was fairly low (especially Dutch!). When Daniel arrived, obviously I didn't interfere with the course of the movie but I still tried to make friends with everyone including Daniel.

Ali had broken up with Johnny at this point and, somehow, I managed to stay in with the Cobras and Johnny and I became pretty good friends. I did fuck up once when I tried to warn Johnny about Kreese. Geez! He yelled at me then didn't talk to me for ages after that! Of course, after Kreese showed himself up to be a complete and total bastard at the tournament then broke Johnny's trophy, he had to admit that I was right. He didn't like it but that's life. I helped him mend the trophy. Kreese actually hadn't done that much damage to it. He'd just snapped the little figure off the top and that was pretty easy to mend.

After that I got some issues back here and ended up leaving that world all together. This is the diary of what happened after I finally returned...

Early February 1991 – Karate Kid

I landed with a pretty heavy smack on the asphalt. I can never understand why the journey here is always so bumpy, considering this isn't my actual body. Just a sort of energy avatar. Oh, I'm completely physical but the world kind of ... gives it to me upon arrival. My true body is back in my own world. That's how it works. A physical body can't travel to a created world like this one, a movie. It's all to do with other planes and universes and states of existence but I can't be bothered to explain it all now.

It was night time when I got there. This world has a kind of unique smell to it. I know that sounds weird but it does. I can't really describe it. It just triggers such nostalgia. I picked my ass up off the ground and brushed myself down. I knew exactly where I was. I was about a hundred yards away from Johnny's house. I automatically made that my first port of call.

I walked up to the front door and knocked on the red door smartly. Johnny's house is pretty big. Not quite as bog as Bobby's which is huge but it's still pretty impressive. I was surprised by the woman who answered the door. It wasn't Johnny's Mum but, instead, an ugly old bag that I'd never seen before.

"Yeah?" She wheezed. God! She looked like a vacuum cleaner bag made human! She was short, dumpy and flabby with long, straggly, greying hair and a fag in her hand as she slouched against the doorframe. She wasn't really what you'd call old. She must have been in her mid fifties. But, still, the overall appearance was one of a rather unhealthy and worn individual. Still, I thought I had better be polite.

"Oh. Um... hello." I said, trying like hell to hide the surprise/disgust in my voice. "I'm sorry but could you tell me where the Lawrences live? They used to live here but they've obviously moved." OK, I was being polite, alright? I just want to make that perfectly clear. Anyway, this old witch starts laughing (none to healthily either). Christ knows what she was laughing at but, whatever it was, it was fucking hilarious.

"Yeah. They moved." She answered, at length. "They're way out the other side of town." Oh. Fucking. Great. How the hell was I supposed to know where the hell to go now? "The other side of town" could mean bloody anywhere. Still, politeness (I am a waitress back on Earth, after all. I'm fairly well trained in the fake-smile department). I gave a smile.

"Thanks. See ya." I said to her. I sincerely hoped I would never see her again and she reinforced why by laughing again. It's all I could do not to turn around and smack her one in her fat, flabby face. What the hell was so funny? I soon found out.

"Who is it, Aunt Selma?" Came another voice. A young man's voice this time. Wait... I knew that voice. I wheeled around to face the doorway I had just turned away from and felt a wave of combined shock, joy and utter hatred towards wheezy-hag-features still cackling in the doorway. Johnny was standing just behind her wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and a red plaid shirt. My face had no idea how to react so I guess I just stared. Selma wheezed.

"Just some English girl lookin' for ya, John." She said, turning to walk back into the house. "I'll go help your mother." She added, and skulked off. Yeah, go back to your den on the outskirts of hell, my mind said after her. Fuck! I hated her! I hated her so damn much now!

Johnny and I just stood staring at each other for a moment. I took in how he looked now. Had he grown? It hadn't been that long since I'd last been here so I guessed probably not. His hair had though. It was longer and fell around his face and introduced itself to his shirt collar. His face looked a tad more mature now too. I wanted to smile but there was something in the way Johnny was looking at me that made me think better of it. He didn't look angry as such but there was a definite chill in the air. I decided to try and break this very thick ice.

"Hi." I ventured after a time. "How you doing?" Johnny shrugged, moodily.

"M'alright." He said, shortly. OK, I didn't like this. What was wrong with him? I thought he'd be happy to see me back but apparently not.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Nothin'." ...Right! Now he was driving me crazy! It hit me that perhaps he didn't like that I'd been away for a while. We had been pretty good friends at the time, after all. I decided to try and apologise.

"Look," I said, evenly "I'm sorry I've been away for a few months OK?" Johnny suddenly gave me a look that almost made me take a step back.

"A few months? Is that how long you think it's been?" He said, disbelievingly. I really wasn't sure how to answer that. How long had it been then? Johnny stepped over the threshold and down onto the path, ignoring the fact he was only wearing socks. He strode up to me until he was a breath away. He had a fierce look in his eyes that I had seen only too often. "Three years." He hissed. Oh my God! Really!? Had it really been three years since I'd been there!? I thought about what had happened in my life over the past three years. Relationship with a complete bastard... further back... college... further back...relationship with a lazy fucker...further back... Geez! Johnny had a point. It really had been that long.

I looked into Johnny's dark blue eyes. They looked hurt. Fuck. I'd seen that look before too.

"I'm sorry." I said, quietly. Johnny snorted.

"Whatever." He said. He turned away from me and walked back towards the house. I swallowed hard, trying not to cry. Great! Really buggered things up now, hadn't I. I stayed standing where I was, trying like heck to pull myself together. I was all set to leave but Johnny barked at me from the doorway.

"Hey! You comin' in or what?"

I walked into the Lawrence's lounge which was all golds and reds. It wasn't hard to see Johnny's colour palette influence. Everything in this room was neat and tidy with each item in its proper place and every surface spotlessly clean. Karen Lawrence Johnny's mother was an extremely house proud woman who kept the place pristine yet somehow managed to be a workaholic as well. She worked for some fashion thingumy-wotsit. I never really bothered to find out what exactly.

Selma was still sitting in a corner, hunched over some trashy mag and still cackling to herself. I glowered at her as I sat down in a dark red armchair. I was still aware of Johnny's icy manner as he left to make coffee. Johnny had a fairly sad family life really. His mother was always too busy to bother with him and his father had moved out years ago and never bothered to stay in contact. And now here was this Selma person who didn't look to be much cop either. Johnny's karate had been his only means of escape and opportunity to connect with other people. Well, that and school, of course. Johnny's Mother just gave him the money for karate whenever he needed it but never enquired after how it was going and never even turned up to tournaments, despite her son having won top spot twice.

I sat thinking about this and heard footsteps behind me. I thought it was Johnny coming back with the coffee so I turned to look but it wasn't him. It was Karen herself. She was tall, slim and as blonde as her son, her hair pulled back harshly in a clasp. He lips were ruby red and she wore a tight fitting suit. She was forty-something but you wouldn't guess it to look at her. I couldn't help but suspect that a surgeon's scalpel might have had something to do with her face's refusal to age though. It was just a little too perfect. I wasn't sure what I should expect in terms of a greeting so I smiled but said nothing.

"I hear Selma gave you a bit of a scare earlier." She said, a slight smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Just ignore her. She's a senile old hag." There was a cough from the corner. The cough was enough to make my hackles rise.

"Don't go saying that about your older sister, Karen." Selma rasped from her corner. Karen gave an odd little sniff that might have been an attempt at laughter.

"Hi, Mrs. Lawrence." I said, uncertainly. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too... finally." Karen replied shrewdly, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow. I cringed, my inside coiling up with shame and guilt.

"I know." I said. "I'm sorry it's been so long." Karen waved a hand, nails like crimson talons and adorned with delicate, jewelled rings.

"Oh Johnny's probably over-reacting. Don't worry about it. He's stupid like that." She said in an off-hand manner. Oh, bitch! If I'd have been her I would have been ripping the shit out of me. I just abandoned my best friend for three years and his mother couldn't give a toss. To make things worse, Johnny had just walked in behind her, carrying two cups of coffee. He looked from me to Karen and back then set the cups down roughly on the coffee table. A little of the coffee leapt out of one of the cups and splashed on the varnished wood. "Oh, Johnny!" His mother complained as Johnny glared at us both and stomped off up to his room. "Come back here and clean this up!" Karen yelled after him. Johnny clearly wasn't listening and I leapt up to follow him, leaving Karen cursing about the miniature puddle on the coffee table.

I took the stairs two at a time. I always ran up stairs like this but today, as sod's law would have it, I misjudged the top step and stacked over the carpeted edge, landing heavily on my side. Spitting curses at myself, I picked my ass up off the floor and straightened by tiger-stripe hoodie which had twisted during the journey. I walked up to Johnny's bedroom door. I could hear thumps and grunts coming from within. I took a deep breath, ran a hand through my short, dark blonde hair and knocked a couple of times. The sounds stopped instantly but nothing else happened so, after a moment, I gingerly opened the door.

Johnny stood near his window, breathing heavily as his punch-bag swung on its thick chain. The back of his shirt was soaked with sweat and, even though he had his back to me, I could tell he was rubbing his knuckles. I looked to my right as I entered. Yup. His fist-pads were on his set of shelves near the door. I quietly closed the door behind me.

"You know, you're really going to end up doing yourself an injury if you do that." I said.

"So what do you care?" Johnny spat, turning his head but not looking at me. Carefully, I walked over to his bed (after stepping over a set of weights) and sat down on the dark blue bedspread.

"Of course I care." I said earnestly. Though I'd never told Johnny, I was pretty sure that I loved him and I hated to see him hurt. I didn't say anything else, allowing Johnny to cool off a bit. Eventually his shoulders relaxed and he turned on the spot to face me.

"Why were you away so long?" He asked, his eyes meeting mine. "I waited for you. I was used to you going away for a few weeks but when it got to four months I about gave up. After a year I just thought maybe you were never coming back. That maybe the gateway or whatever the shit it's called had closed. I thought it was unavoidable yet now I find you stayed away by choice!? Some friend!" Riled up again, he plunged his fist into his punch bag and sent it swinging wildly. Johnny hissed in pain and looked at his knuckles. I leapt up.

"You ok?" I asked, honestly concerned. Johnny, however, pulled his fist out of my view.

"I'm fine!" He snapped. I'd seen enough anyway. He hadn't cut himself or anything. His knuckles were just red raw from his onslaught on the punch bag. He folded his arms and sat down heavily on the end of his bed. I sat beside him and we sat in silence for a few moments. Johnny could be dangerous when he was like this. He was a living landmine. Step wrong and he would explode so I stayed silent, letting him make the first move. Eventually...

"Why did you stay away so long, Izzi?" He asked. Oh! It hadn't occurred to me that he wouldn't know I'd changed my name since we last saw each other.

"Actually, it's not Izzi anymore." I said. "It's Jac (or Jacqui if you like). I changed my name about a year ago." Johnny frowned.

"Why?" He asked, puzzled. "And why a guy's name?" In spite of himself, he sniggered. I elbowed him lightly in the ribs, pleased that he was a little happier.

"I went through a fairly shit relationship and wanted to leave it completely behind. It's spelt J – A – C from my middle name. Jacqueline." Again, Johnny looked confused.

"No. Your middle name's Jeanette." He said. Oh shit! It really had been ages since I was last here.

"Um..." I began. Johnny rolled his eyes.

"Let me guess. You changed your middle name too?" He said.

"Two years ago." I confirmed. "Because my Dad isn't technically my Dad I should still have had my real Dad's surname so I had to change my surname by deed-poll when I was eighteen so that I could get my passport." I reeled off. "Seeing as Jeanette was my real father's mother's name I thought I might as well change that while I was at it." Johnny nodded slowly.

"I get it." He said. We were silent again for a few moments. "So why did you stay away?" He asked quietly.

"I had a lot going on." I said. "A lot of trouble and I didn't want to drag anyone here into it."

(I should make a note here that, whilst Johnny and the others can't starhop (it's impossible for movie/book etc. characters to manifest physically on their parent world) they could astral project which means that their consciousness was there but didn't have a body.)

"Oh, like I wouldn't have been there for ya! Thanks a lot! Give me some credit why don't'cha!" Johnny snapped. I bowed my head. I knew that he would have tried to help but Johnny was Johnny and still a bit of a dick at that point.

"You couldn't have helped." I said as gently as I could manage.

"Oh bullshit!" Johnny exploded. Uh oh! Landmine alert! "You just don't want to admit that you couldn't be bothered! You know I would have helped with whatever shit you had going on! I mean, if you hadn't noticed, I've known a bit of shit myself!"

I felt like shrivelling up and dying on the spot. He had a point. Most of the trouble I'd had had been from guys and Johnny could have given a guy's perspective on things. When my dick of a last boyfriend had chased all my friends away with lies, Johnny and the guys would have been there to hang out with and Jo wouldn't have been able to touch them. Loud, crude and boistrous though they were, they would have been my only platform of support yet I'd abandoned them. Johnny was right.

"Just fuckin' admit it!" Johnny said. I looked down at my bitten nails. It was at times like this I felt at my most unattractive. I bowed my scruffy head.

"You're right. I'm sorry." I said, quietly.

"Thanks!" Johnny spat, poisonously. He stood up and strode out of the room. It was so reminiscent of Jo that I couldn't help but shudder and start to sob. I let my head fall forwards into my hands and stayed there until I heard Johnny return. "Hey." He said, and kicked my shin lightly. I looked up and he handed me my, now lukewarm, coffee. I took it and gave a huge sniff.

"I really am so sorry, Johnny." I said, my voice tight.

"Yeah yeah. Whatever. Just shut up and drink your fuckin' coffee." Johnny replied.