A/N: This is just something that got stuck in my head…granted, it's not an original premise – big fight, hurt feelings, angst, OOC-ness, make-up time fulla fluffiness, and so on and so forth – but it's helping take away my frustration with trying to get past the skyscraper-sized writer's block that's keeping me from completing chapter 4 of Chaotic Confessions. This story emerged from me idly thinking about a certain quote from a certain show, and mostly wrote itself after that.

The third and last chapter will be posted the next time m'job gives me a day off. Feh.

(For anybody who happens to be curious, the only thing the title has to do with the story is that it's connected to the quote that sparked my imagination to write this. Bravo to any of you who know what quote I'm talking about, where it is in this story, and what show it's from!)

Rated T - 'Cause Soul has a potty mouth, as we're all well aware. Even when he's not talking out loud.

Disclaimer: Me…own Soul Eater? Or ZZ Top? What is this madness of which you speak?

"He was not ogling my legs, Soul!"

"Uh, yeah, he was."

Maka ground her teeth at her partner's confident tone. "He was NOT!" she hissed, stomping up the stairs that led to their seats in Stein's classroom. "He was only asking us for directions; we're lucky he didn't call the cops on us, or worse, Shinigami-san!" She dropped angrily into her seat. "We could have gotten expelled because of your stupid stunt!"

"And how is protecting my meister from a perverted freak gonna get us expelled?" Soul retorted, slumping into the chair next to her. "If anything, I oughta get rewarded for going above the call of duty."

Maka clasped her hands together tightly, if only to prevent herself from throttling Soul. Eyeing the text books in front of her, she thought that maybe a double Maka Chop would be more appropriate, considering the fact that he was being such a hard-headed idiot! "For starters, I don't think 'protecting me'-" sarcastic air quotes, "-from somebody just wanting to know where the post office is located is specifically listed as a weapon's duty," she retorted acidly. "For crying out loud, all he did was smile at me!"

"He was smiling at your legs, Maka," Soul replied flatly. "His eyes never made it above the hemline of your skirt."

Taking a deep breath in a feeble attempt to lower her temper from the boiling point, Maka turned to face her weapon. "And how would you know that's where his eyes were? Unless you were ogling my legs, too," she added in an overly sweet voice, one that had the students seated near them hastily scooting their chairs away from the impending storm.

Soul rolled his eyes. "For such a nerdy genius," he sneered, " you're being pretty stupid. I was watching that jerk's face, Maka – I know where his eyes were. "

Several of the students who had just scooted away hastily got up and moved to seats that were closer to the exit, in deference to vast amounts of furious energy pouring off of Maka in waves.

"What I don't get," he continued blithely, " is why he was looking at your stick legs and knobby knees in the first place. If that guy thought your legs were worth gawkin' at, it's obvious that his definition of sex appeal was pretty warped." Closing his eyes, Soul went ahead and braced himself for the Mega Maka Chop he knew he'd get for his last comment. Yeah, it would hurt like a bitch, but he figured that if Maka went ahead and got rid of her anger the way she normally did – which almost always meant that he was on the receiving end of a book-induced concussion or two – then she'd get over her ridiculous snit, and they could get on with their lives.

The fact that he was the only one allowed to ogle her legs – that he liked looking at her legs; those long, strong, smooth legs – was totally besides the point. Mostly. Soul knew that if Maka ever found out that a snatch of the ZZ Top song "Legs" went through his mind whenever an errant breeze lifted her skirt just so, he would be the deadest of dead meat.

Well, he was more than willing to die for his meister, even if that meant his death came by her hands. Books. Whatever. Wait a minute – shouldn't he have been Maka Chopped into the stratosphere by now?

Soul cautiously glanced at his partner. Instead of emitting the aura of fury and outrage he'd come to expect when she'd reached Super Pissed mode, Maka was sitting very still, head lowered and bangs shadowing her eyes.

"I see," she murmured quietly. "So that's how it is."

Uneasy about her subdued reaction, Soul made a weak attempt to salvage what he sensed was a rapidly deteriorating situation. "Hey, it was a joke-"

"A joke." Maka's head snapped around, and the glacial chill in her dark emerald eyes literally took his breath away. "Just a joke, huh?"

"Maka-"

"Don't talk to me right now."

"But-"

"I said don't talk to me."

Soul flinched, though whether it was from the quiet finality in her voice or from the glimmer of deep hurt he saw in her eyes before she turned away, he couldn't say.

Shit. He'd majorly screwed up this time.

He tried once more, using his soul's wavelength as a nonverbal way to show her how sorry he was for upsetting her so badly. The sinking sensation in his gut grew larger as his efforts to connect with her soul were rebuffed by an impenetrable shield. He was sitting right next to her, but he might as well have been halfway across the city – he couldn't feel her at all.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Maka had never shut him out so completely before, no matter how furious she was with him.

A stinging slap against the back of his head made Soul turn around in irritation. Confronted by the angry face of Liz, her hand still raised in a flicking gesture, he realized that she'd probably heard the whole argument, including its bitter end. Glancing around, he realized by Tsubaki's stony visage, Black *Star's narrowed eyes, Kid's crossed arms and hostile stare – hell, even Patty was glaring at him – that all of their friends had also seen and heard him make a total uncool jackass of himself.

He slouched back down in his seat, thoroughly miserable.

As soon as Stein dismissed class, Maka immediately gathered her books and notes and scurried away, her ducked head and stiff shoulders warning Soul that following her right now was not a good idea. The frost that blasted him when Tsubaki, Liz and Patty passed by him to hurry after Maka only served as a pointed reminder that he was most certainly in the doghouse with those three. Even Kid and Black*Star gave him the cold shoulder; Kid just marched by, silent disapproval evident on his features, while the blue-haired ninja scornfully tossed out "Dude, you are so riding the fail whale right now" as he sauntered out of the classroom.

Soul sighed. This was turning out to be a fucking wonderful day.

Soul couldn't handle not being able to talk to his meister – the one time he did try, coming up behind Maka during the mad scramble in the halls as everyone made their way to the cafeteria for lunch, Patty came out of nowhere and growled at him so menacingly that Soul backed away quickly, the fine hairs on his neck prickling in fear. Sometimes it was easy to forget how fucking scary the normally laughing younger Demon pistol could really be.

He wound up spending his lunch break alone in a rarely used classroom in the lower levels of the school.

People less cool than him would call it hiding – and they were probably right in calling it that – but he saw it more as an act of self-preservation for his physical well-being. Can't grovel for forgiveness to your partner and be taken seriously if you're bleeding, battered and bruised from the pounding you received from a mostly cheerful (but sometimes psycho) blond moppet for trying to talk to said partner before said partner is ready to have you come anywhere near them.

Or something to that effect.

He knew he was being a coward by not saying to hell with the consequences and forcibly dragging Maka off to a quiet place and making her listen to him, but the look in her eyes that morning had really shaken him, more than he cared to admit. He'd never meant to be the cause of such hurt and pain to his meister. He was supposed to protect her, dammit, and belatedly realizing that his teasing had finally gone too far wasn't helping him fix the situation he had created.

There were classes at the DWMA on how a weapon was to always protect their meister from evil beings, both supernatural and mortal – but where was the class that taught you how to atone for your grievous lapse in good judgment when your thoughtless teasing causes a rift of major proportions with the one person you're supposed to safeguard, the one person you care about more than anything?

When the bell rang signaling that lunch was over, Soul trudged out of the classroom he'd taken refuge in, no closer to an answer than before.

Leaning his forehead against his locker, Soul sighed. He still wasn't quite sure how he'd made it through the rest of the school day. Thanks to the infamous DWMA rumor mill – facts and fantasy twisted into a gossipy mess that passed from ear to ear faster than the speed of light – Soul was not only pointedly ignored by his closest friends, but gawked at and whispered about by approximately 80% of the student body. Hell, even Marie stared at him blandly with a raised eyebrow when she'd taken roll in her class – the one teacher he thought he could count on to be somewhat sympathetic to his plight.

Soul counted himself lucky that Maka's dad was off on a mission – and out of the city – for the day per Shinigami's orders. The last thing he needed was for Spirit to find out that his darling baby girl had been insulted so badly by her weapon. While he gloomily assumed that the Death Scythe would take a special glee in the fact that Maka wasn't currently speaking to her partner, Soul also figured that for daring to truly hurt his only daughter's feelings, Spirit would have his guts for garters.

Or maybe he'd chase after him, black scythe blades gleaming, shouting maniacally "Gonna have me some calamari tonight, Octopus Head!"

Ugh. Grimacing at the rather vivid mental image his imagination had come up with, Soul pushed away from his locker. After all, he didn't know for certain when Spirit would be back, and it would be wiser to vacate the premises of the academy before karma decided to bite him in the ass. Turning the corner of the hallway that led to the front doors, he realized that at least part of his luck had run out when he was confronted by the unfriendly eyes and tightly crossed arms of Liz and Tsubaki.

Crap. Resigned to a tongue-lashing from two of Maka's best friends (he assumed that Patty had been assigned bodyguard/cheer-up duty to his meister), Soul stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets and waited for the verbal – and possibly physical; there was no telling with irate girls, as he well knew – assault to begin.

"Maka is going to be with us this evening," Tsubaki said coolly. "She wanted us to inform you that she probably wouldn't be home in time for dinner."

"Yeah, I figured." Soul sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Look. I know all of you guys are pissed at me for good reason, and Maka even more so, but could you just tell her that I-"

Liz held up a well-manicured hand. "Keep your apologies," she said shortly. Catching sight of the muscles in his jaw clenching, the Demon gun relented a little. "Just think long and hard about what you said to her, and then…" She trailed off when she realized Soul's hooded gaze had widened to an incredulous stare that was focusing over her shoulder. "What are you – oh." After turning around, she realized what he was looking at – or rather, who he was looking at.

Standing close to the large double doors that led to the front courtyard of the academy was Maka, chatting animatedly with somebody Soul had never expected to see her speak to at all, let alone in such a friendly manner. So just why in the hell was she talking with Hiro?

A corner of Soul's lip raised in an unconscious snarl. His first instinct? To march over there and beat the ever-lovin' crap out of the lanky blonde boy for being anywhere near his meister, their current state of unresolved tension and unspoken apologies be damned.

All thoughts of vicious retribution fell away abruptly when he saw Hiro reach out, grab Maka's hands, and Maka smile and nod at him. In a moment of painful clarity, Soul realized that he really had no right to claim any of Maka's affections, especially after what had happened that morning. If she was happy, even with somebody like Hiro, who was he to interfere? Despair and loss settled around his heart in a painful clench, leaving him empty and hurting. He silently spun on his heel and shuffled off, shoulders slumped with defeat and the beginnings of a broken heart.

Tsubaki and Liz exchanged glances. They had both seen the look of agony in Soul's eyes before he'd turned away, and neither girl had the heart to try and stop him when he walked away.

Liz puffed out her cheeks. "This…could get complicated."

Tsubaki could only agree.