A/N: Rated for violence, disturbing imagery and Hidan's mouth. Discretion is advised if you are sensitive to those sorts of things. Ino/Hidan/Sakura/Shikamaru-centric, falls under the categories Suspense/Drama/Horror/Adventure. Or maybe I'll just change it to general, who knows. Rating may go up later.

Story is set after chapter 489 of the manga and episode 243 of the anime, or near the beginning of the "Confining the Jinchuriki" arc (Tsunade has woken up from her coma, Naruto has left for the Land of Lightning, Kabuto is off adjusting to his new form without Madara around and Sasuke is recovering from surgery). After that, it diverges from canon/goes AU.

I've revised/rearranged the story a bit since it was initially posted, so. Anyway! Please enjoy!

Eschaton Incarnate

(n) "day at the end of time following Armageddon when God will decree the fates of all
individual humans according to the good and evil of their earthly lives"
(adj) "possessing bodily form"

Chapter I.

Dissection. Asphyxiation. Evisceration.

He imagines Shikamaru standing there —just as he was when the world ignited, when the ground shifted and blocked out the light forever—staring down with cold hard eyes and flicking his dead sensei's lighter on.
Hidan has tried moving his head with his teeth and tongue but nothing works; there's dirt everywhere, burning his eyes and tasting like ash in his mouth. Eventually even those sensations fade into nothing, and all he hears are the faint but unmistakable bird calls that reassure him that yes, he's still alive, not in hell, if only he could be. Sometimes he can even feel pressure; maybe he's hallucinating that too, the faint rumble of the earth as something alive and free trots across the ground above him.

Goddamn stupid deer.

Eventually—very, very soon, he tells himself— he would figure out how to claw his way through, if only he could move his hands. Is it strange, that he feels the dirt underneath his fingernails and worms sliding across the skin of his hands, but is entirely unable to move them? Can I even really feel them, or is my mind playing tricks on me again?

Massacre. Slaughter. Starvation.

Hidan decides that even though he loves blood and his fondest fantasies involve ripping Shikamaru's head clean off, just like that bastard leaf nin did to him, he wasn't going to shove a pike clean through his body and let him bleed to death or even mount him on a cross with stakes through his arms (he saw that once in one of Jashin's sacred texts and even tried something similar with the two-tails, but it was slow and boring and there wasn't nearly enough gore to interest him at the time). No, he was going to find him, lock him in the smallest cell he could get his hands on, and watch him slowly starve to death. He'd give him water, of course, so that he'd last longer, just like Hidan was lasting—why, Jashin, can't I die of dehydration too? It'd be over quickly—and savor every moment Shikamaru experienced a loss of bodily function. Maybe he'd eat outside the door and let the aromas sift through the cracks just to taunt him. Maybe he'd even give him a little food, sometimes—table scraps, pig slop—just to watch the bastard gulp it down greedily (what a big, bad genius konoha shinobi you are now, where's all your pride gone to?) and maybe he'd mix it in with a generous amount of dirt, so Shikamaru would know what it tasted like to have the ground shoved into his face.

If. If he was even still alive. Would Jashin take revenge from him too? Had Kakuzu slaughtered them all and left Hidan to rot in the ground in the end? He threatened to kill me enough. Thought he was just jokin', man. We were only kidding around. Kakuzu liked me, right? He was my partner. Best Akatsuki around...

Fucking prick. No one could beat Kakuzu. That bastard. After I'm done with Shikamaru, I'm coming after you, Kakuzu, you heathen. No hard feelings. I won't kill you, after all... we'll just play around a bit.

A loud thunk, and Hidan tensed, driven out of his reverie. More deer walking around?

Must have been one fat doe.

Doe. Deer. Venison. Pork. Spare Ribs.

Oh Jashin, I'm so fucking hungry.

There was a louder thunk, this time followed by the sound of dirt shifting.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

The sounds seemed to be getting closer. Hidan felt the pressure of movement—or maybe he couldn't—and the presence of... someone's chakra?

'Jashin?' Hidan thought wildly, 'Have you come to save me at last? I didn't peg you for that kind of god, in the end. In fact...'

Thunk. Thunk.

'Jashin, you know, I've said some things, you've done some things—like left me to starve to death in a fucking hole, not that anyone is keeping track—but even though I may have forsaken you a few dozen times in the last couple of months, I-'

The earth bulged in front of his eyes and Hidan's world was bathed in tiny rays of light. After so long in the dark, it burned, really burned, but it was a beautiful kind of pain and he would have laughed his old maniacal laugh if his mouth wasn't still filled with dirt.

"Finally! As much as I appreciate the chance to get a nice tan, I think I've had enough of the sun. No offense, Temari," Ino grinned impishly.

"Hmph."

They were striding through the sand village at an even pace, passing an array of matching cracked stucco buildings with colors so drab and muted that Sakura couldn't help but be thankful to have been born surrounded by shades of green. Even the path beneath her feet was dust colored, and if she squinted hard enough everything looked the same.

"This wasn't a vacation, Ino," Shikamaru responded after a moment. "This is probably going to be the first of many trips. I'm not looking forward to it."

"More chances to tan, then?" Ino winked.

"It's a pain in the ass."

The group reached the gates exiting the village, situated at the edge of the valley. Beyond them, Sakura could see miles and miles of soft sand dunes and the sun only a few inches away from the horizon. It was far too early and Sakura's throat parched up just from looking at the desert. She stopped walking and glanced back behind her at the closest merchant stand, longingly wondering if it was too late to grab a quick drink. It was a bit early to be diving into their traveling supplies, after all...

"I know, I know. It's not like we're at war yet, though... Things've been pretty quiet, yeah? Especially with Naruto gone."

A little girl on the cusp of puberty—a genin, it looked like, judging from her hitai-ate—brushed past her. Out of breath and gasping for air, the girl cried out, "Hey, don't leave me behind!"

She was waving her arms frantically as she ran, trying to get the attention of a boy some ways ahead of her. He glanced back at her for a brief moment before continuing on without giving the girl a chance to catch up.

It all seemed so poignantly familiar to her.

Don't worry, kiddo. At least he probably won't try to kill you when he grows up.

"Sakura."

"Huh?" The dazed look in her eyes vanished and Sakura's vision focused on the face that was now blocking her view. It was Shikamaru, and he looked annoyed. Or maybe that was his default expression—she couldn't really tell anymore.

Temari came up from behind him, a customary look of disapproval gracing her features. "You've been spacing out a lot, Sakura. A ninja should always be aware of her surroundings." She pursed her lips and added, "If you aren't careful, you're going to turn into Shikamaru, and then we'd all be in trouble. Konoha certainly doesn't need another one of him."

"I don't space out," Shikamaru scoffed. "I just like to take life slowly. You gotta enjoy the simple things..." he started to walk off at that, huffing and muttering under his breath about how she was just like his mother.

Temari followed after him and rolled her eyes at the comment, but the beginnings of a smile could be seen forming on the corner of her mouth and Shikamaru was wearing a similar expression.

Next to her, Ino appeared almost as annoyed as Shikamaru had earlier, and Sakura could bet it had something to do with the tanned Suna shinobi leading them out of the village.

Ino had grabbed onto one of the two escorts accompanying Temari, hooking arms with him and cooing about how she was going to miss Suna. When it became clear that nobody was paying attention to her little display, Ino dropped the facade entirely. Sakura couldn't decide if she was annoyed with Ino for forgetting Sasuke so easily, or jealous that her friend was capable of moving on and forming healthier attachments—even if they did seem to be one-sided.

Maybe she was reading it all wrong, though. Maybe Ino was really just a mother hen and didn't like the idea of her teammates gallivanting around with shinobi from another village. Sakura had tried to get her friend to spill the beans at one point, and Ino had just shrugged her off, saying something about how the late Asuma-sensei asked her to watch out for the two boys because they didn't have a sensible bone in their bodies—especially Shikamaru. Sakura didn't pry any further. Understanding the delicate intricacies and complications of relationships was never her forte.

And God only knows that experience hasn't helped me there.

After saying their goodbyes to Temari, the three of them traveled swiftly, mostly in silence, with Ino occasionally trying to initiate conversation and Shikamaru leading the way. Sakura was uncharacteristically quiet, and Ino's attempts to goad her into conversation were surprisingly futile, given her temper. Sakura had hoped that volunteering to accompany Team Ten to Suna would alleviate the loneliness, but it hadn't done much for her mood. Team Ten was Team Ten, and even though Chouji was away, their bond was as strong as ever and served only to remind her of what she had lost.

"So, Shikamaru... You looked like you were enjoying yourself," Ino broke the silence, a knowing look on her face.

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. "What are you going on about now?"

"Nothing, nothing..." Ino said dismissively. "It won't be so bad, visiting Suna more often," she changed tactics. "Temari looked happy to see you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Shikamaru glared halfheartedly and sprinted ahead of her, but Ino caught the hint of a blush on his face and her mood turned sour.

At least, it turned sour for a few minutes.

"Sa-ku-ra," Ino sung out tauntingly.

Attention span of a rat, Sakura thought, irritated. She and Naruto should just get together and have a bunch of blonde, hyperactive babies. Can't she see I'm not in the mood to talk? What happened to all those ninja lessons on reading body language?

"Sakura. Sakura!"

Sakura wasn't responding.

"Hey forehead."

She sighed. "What, pig?"

"Stop ignoring me," Ino commanded.

"I'm not-"

"It's very childish."

Sakura chose not to respond; at least, until a rock hit her in the back of the head.

"What was that for?!" She screeched, not noticing Shikamaru flinch at the sound.

"Your angsting is slowing us down," Ino informed her. "And it also seems to be taking a toll on your reflexes."

Sakura glared. "In case you failed to notice, I'm in front of you."

"Only because I slowed down for you." The blonde sped up and kept pace next to her, feigning a compassionate look. "I didn't want you to feel inferior."

"Believe me, pig, the day I feel inferior to you is the day hell freezes over."

"We all know I'm the better ninja here, forehead."

"I'd tell Lee I'm hopelessly in love with him before I'd ever lose to you. In anything."

"Children! Settle down." Shikamaru yelled from over his shoulder. "Jeez, how old are you guys now? I swear I'm never having kids if they act like you. Especially girls..."

Ino and Sakura cackled, their lighthearted banter forgotten.

"You know, Sakura," Ino commented after a few moments, "It's nice having you around. You're still my best friend, even if you were an ungrateful brat," Ino smirked. "So stop looking so sad!"

Sakura smiled—the first sincere one she'd given since Naruto had left.

Maybe I'm not as alone as I thought.

A/N: I'm dropping the Japanese suffixes since it's too troublesome.