IMPORTANT NOTE:

This story is set slightly after the events of the episode "Dangerous Liaisons" (the famous Mikaelson party episode), with one small change: Esther and Finn haven't plotted the downfall of the entire Original family we all know and love. Therefore, none of the events/episodes after "Dangerous Liaisons have occurred—Esther didn't try to murder her children, Elijah didn't skip town, Finn's not dead, Elena's still human etc.

Rebekah strolled into the mansion, arms laden with shopping bags, and abruptly came to a screeching halt at the unspeakable sight of horror before her.

A shriek tore from her throat, its pitch threatening to crack the glass panes of the foyer windows.

"Bloody hell, Bekah!" Kol said, shooting her a look of annoyance from where he was crouched upon the ground. A sour-faced Finn and grumpy Niklaus were huddled on either side of him, a long scrap of paper unfurled before them. "Try it a little louder next time, why don't you? I'm sure there's only a few hundred people in the world denied the pleasure of hearing your dulcet tones."

One perfectly manicured nail pointed at him accusingly. "Just what are you three up to? You never get along like this. Oh god. You're plotting something aren't you?" Rebekah's blue gaze fell on the paper near Kol, who immediately moved to cover it up.

Another yell escaped her, except this time with a ring of triumph to it. "I knew it! What is it then? World domination? Revenge? Wait…a prank. A revenge prank. On me? Kol, I told you I didn't mean to step on your stupid pet spider when I was six!"

A muffled snicker came from Klaus. "Really, Rebekah," he drawled. "Paranoid much?"

"When it comes to him I am," she said hysterically, eyeing Kol, who was trying very hard to maintain an angelically innocent face that looked very strange on him. "And if you do anything to me, just wait 'till Mother and Elijah hear about it!"

At the mention of Elijah, Rebekah noticed, all three brothers turned slightly pale.

It was difficult to refrain from rolling her eyes. Big, scary, ancient vampires—all of whom were still fearful of calling down their eldest brother's wrath upon them when they made a misstep. Well, Rebekah couldn't blame them…all Elijah had to do was put on his intense, serious face and stare a body down to freak the hell out of them.

"What are you doing anyways?" Rebekah asked finally, deciding that when it came to her brothers it was better to be informed. "If it doesn't involve me, that is." She brightened. "Nik, are you planning to use the Doppelganger in some nefarious plot again?" She'd been regaled with pleasant tales of Elena's temporary-demise during Nik's hybrid ritual, fervently frustrated that she had missed it. "Possibly involving a very long, painful death?"

"No, Rebekah." Slightly disappointing, but she could deal.

"A short, abrupt, painful death?"

"No."

Rebekah's forehead wrinkled. "A good maiming?"

"No."

Kol glanced over at his sister, eyebrows raised. "Really, Bekah, what exactly did this girl do to make you hate her so much?"

Rebekah sniffed. "She stabbed me with a dagger."

"Is that all? Hell, Nik's stabbed us all with a dagger, and we wholeheartedly forgave him!" Kol pointed out cheerfully.

"Actually, my hand still hurts a bit from where Finn impaled it straight through, you know…"

"Alright, so we half-heartedly forgave him. Mainly because Mother threatened to chain us all up in the basement until we had rekindled warm, family feelings between us, but still…" Kol shrugged. "Anyways, you better get used to the Gilbert girl. She might just be…part of the family someday."

Had Klaus held his sketchbook in his hands, he would have immediately set about capturing Rebekah's expression in all its I-want-to-vomit glory. As it was, he contented himself with being grateful for a vampire's photographic memory.

"You mean…you mean…" Rebekah threw up her hands in exasperation, mouth dropping open in preparation of allowing her full lung capacity some exercise. She didn't disappoint. "I can't believe this! Nik, didn't you learn your lesson the first two times!"

Klaus stared blankly at her.

"First Tatia, then Katerina, and now Elena? Just when I thought your taste could sink no lower!" Rebekah ranted. "Well, when this one cruelly breaks your heart and leaves you a shattered little mess of pathetic feelings, don't you dare come to me whinging about it!"

With one final sneer, Rebekah spun, gathered her fallen shopping bags, and stomped off muttering derisively about idiot brothers.

Silence followed her exit.

"…I think she slightly misconstrued your meaning, Kol," Finn said, gaze shifting to a green-looking Klaus.

After Rebekah's furor-filled departure, Finn studied the poorly drawn diagrams Kol had hastily scrawled out upon a spread of paper, all of which were resplendent with stick figures and nearly illegible handwriting.

Kol, it had to be said, did not share any of his half-brother's penchant for the finer points of artistry (although every Mikaelson refrained from mentioning it, given that Kol could be quite touchy. Klaus still bordered on weepiness when he thought back to their time in Renaissance Italy, when da Vinci had good-naturedly criticized one of Kol's pitiful artistic attempts, and Kol had cheerfully responded by putting a fist through a now-lost da Vinci original painting.)

"Let me see if I understand this, Kol. Your plan is to interrogate the girl's nearest and dearest to find out whether she's in love with Elijah?"

"Right in one, Finn!" Kol said, sticking his thumbs enthusiastically in the air in some exuberant gesture Finn wasn't familiar with.

"Elena. Me. Why the hell would she think that." Klaus, in the aftermath of Rebekah's disturbing conjectures, had retreated into a state of angry mutterings and confused questions.

Finn rubbed a weary hand through his short, neatly-trimmed locks—a contemplative habit he had retained since childhood.

Ignoring Klaus's mumblings, Finn said, "And where exactly do you propose we begin?"

"Elena. Elena-sodding-Gilbert. How. Why."

Kol tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I thought we'd ask Nik. He's the one most acquainted with her after all. Figure he'd know where to begin."

They both cast dubious looks at the still-dazed Klaus, who still seemed to be in the throes of disgusted shock.

"…or not," Kol sighed out. "Let's just start with that little blonde vampire who was at Mother's ball, why don't we? She seemed to be friendly with the Doppelganger."

Have you ever heard that joke about the three vampires in a bar?

No?

There really isn't one.

But one sunny day in Mystic Falls, there was a charming little scenario in which three ancient vampires strolled into a Grill and met a bubbly blonde baby vampire, who then proceeded to hand their asses to them one by one.

It proceeded as such:

Klaus: Hello, Caroline.

Caroline (sipping daintily from her lemonade, before deigning to look at the three vampires awkwardly hovering about her): Oh. It's you.

Kol: Ouch. I've never heard that much disdain in one pronoun.

Klaus: Shut up, Kol. Now, Caroline—

Caroline: Can I just ask you something? Is it your new nefarious goal to stalk me to death or what? Because if it is, I'll have you know I'm already dead, so you can kindly just buzz off and save yourself the trouble.

Kol (in an undertone-that-isn't-really-an-undertone): Buuuurn.

Kol is suddenly nowhere to be found, as Klaus has kindly taken it upon himself to create a Kol-shaped crater in the wall. All vampires steadily ignore the outraged cry of "Hey!" from a working Matt.

Caroline: You know, you're really lucky we're the only ones in here. Of course, everyone in this town sorta seems to look the other way when suspicious things happen, so…

Klaus: Caroline, contrary to what you believe, I'm here to ask you a simple question—

Caroline: Oh for the love of—! No. Okay? No. No, I do not want another creepily drawn picture of me, no matter how pretty it is. No, I do not want to go to Paris. No, I do not want to go to Greece. No, no, no.

Kol (peeling himself off the wall): He really offered you all that?

Caroline: He tried. Though I don't know what I did to make him think I could be bought.

Kol: You'll have to excuse my brother. He tends to be a little stunted romantically, ever since his first love went and—

Caroline watched blandly as Finn firmly smothered his brother's words with one strategically placed palm, his grave eyes regarding her with a rather mistrusting stare.

Honestly, Caroline thought. With this family's whole solidarity thing going on, they reminded her of something out of The Godfather or something. And hell, she wouldn't have put it past this particular family to have been one of those shady sunglass-wearing, suit-donning, shiny-shoed creeps from the nineteen twenties.

She made a mental note to check her bed for dismembered pony heads after this little meeting.

"Okaaaay," she droned out, indolently swirling her straw about in her lemonade. "So if he—" she nodded towards Klaus, "Isn't here to make any more thoroughly unwanted advances on me, is one of you going to tell me why my day is being ruined by your presence?"

Kol's head fell to the side as he gazed at her, unaffected by her snappish tone. "You're not a very nice person, are you?"

"Wha—" Caroline's mouth dropped open, and she seemed to swell up with indignation. Not nice? Airheaded, girlish, conceited, too-happy, quick-tempered—maybe. But not nice? "I am so! And that's rich coming from you, Mr. I've-Probably-Fucked-and-Fed-My-Way-Across-Every-Continent."

A pleased smile spread across Kol's face, causing Caroline to bury her golden head into her hands. "That wasn't a compliment, by the way."

"Kol has a unique talent," Klaus told the disbelieving girl. "He's wholly incapable of distinguishing between flattery and insult."

"Lucky him."

Kol and Finn glanced between the two inquisitively, the comfortably bantering atmosphere that had risen between the young vampire and their brother an oddity. Finn would have been just as pleased to leave them alone (frankly, this snippy little vampire girl unnerved him—probably due to her uncanny personality resemblance to Rebekah), but Kol being Kol was unable to bear the spotlight straying from him for long.

"So, now that we've established you're in actuality a very nice person—" Kol interjected.

"Uh-huh." Caroline gave a noisy, purposeful slurp of her lemonade.

"And we just happen to have one measly little question that needs answering before we'll leave you be…"

"Keeping in mind that questions about my personal life and family are strictly off-limits so they can't be used against me for nefarious reasons, fine." The look of long-suffering on her face gave the indication that she was being prodded with hot coals as opposed to being asked a simple question.

"Oh good," Kol chirped, clapping his hands together with a sly smile. "Because it's not your life we're after, but the dear little Doppelganger's. You're close, aren't you?"

The lemonade in her mouth was promptly spat back into the cup. She shot a vicious look at Klaus. "You're after Elena again, you bastard? You're already a hybrid! What about the treaty?"

Her hand was already halfway to her phone, ready to send a mass text to everyone that the Originals were, once again, their sworn enemies. Her wrist was caught by cool fingers before she could finish, and she looked up into Klaus's faintly amused face.

"Not her physical life, Caroline," he sighed out. "Merely her personal one."

Rather than serving to placate her disturbed countenance, her expression further degenerated into one of absolute horror. "Oh, yuck! You're in love with my best friend?"

"Bloody-buggering no." Klaus rubbed the bridge of his nose in an aggravated manner. "Why does everyone seem to be having that misconception today?"

Only appearing slightly less suspicious (as well as a tiny bit relieved) Caroline scooted away as far as she could from Klaus, to the very edge of her bar stool. "Then…what exactly are you guys after?"

"Love," Klaus crooned softly, a charming smile gracing his lips. Undeterred by Caroline's migration away from him, he leaned in slightly. "Just be a dear and tell us if Elena fancies my brother Elijah. Is it so difficult?" He placed a caressing hand on Caroline's tan cheek…

…which he and Kol and Finn seemed to immediately realize was a huge mistake as Caroline's baby blue eyes flashed dangerously and her smile turned saccharine sweet.

Klaus's hand was immediately whipped away, as her killer smile was a bit too similar to Rebekah's on one of her impending verbal emasculation sprees.

Caroline's precisely filed nails (colored a bright bubblegum pink) tapped idly against the tabletop, their sharp edges making tiny little imprints on the surface.

"So, let me see if I'm getting this straight, hm?" She tilted her head as her girlishly syrupy voice assaulted the Originals' ears, causing them to slowly back away. After all, the best advice when confronted with a dangerous, unpredictable female was no sudden movements.

"You come in here, expecting me to betray my best friend's trust because your brother doesn't have balls enough to tell her how he feels, and thus you resort to stupid, stupid methods of trying to find out what she feels?" Caroline scoffed derisively as the three Original brothers (ancient vampires they may have been, but they were still males) looked as though they were desperately trying to decode what she had said. The blonde flicked her hair airily over her shoulder, eyeing them with supreme superiority. "Did I miss anything? And really, what are we, third graders? My friend likes your friend type of thing? Really?"

Kol raised his hand cheerfully, sending a devilish grin at Caroline. "You forgot how he—" He pointed helpfully at his glaring older hybrid brother, "Just tried to seduce the information out of you, I believe. What a cad!"

"Kol—" Klaus gritted out, but that was all he had time for before being cut off by a beaming Caroline.

"Hah! Right you are, nearly forgot about that one." She sent him a fluttery smile, complete with batting eyelashes. It was, as Bonnie would have said, the sex smile. "Thanks. Kol, isn't it?"

Kol smirked in reply; Klaus merely looked murderous (or…more murderous than usual).

"And you?" Caroline said flatly, eyeing Finn, who seemed rather taken aback at being addressed so directly. Most people liked to pretend he was merely an extension of the wall, given that they were discomfited by his utter lack of expression and grim stare. "What are you here for?"

"…I was press-ganged into helping."

"Oh." Caroline mulled over that for a scarce second, before shrugging genially. "Alright, then."

She hopped gracefully off of her barstool, strode over to the door, and kicked it open in one fluid movement (in retrospect, she was most likely picturing a certain hybrid's head as being at the end of her foot's kicking trajectory).

All three males stepped backwards fearfully as Caroline glared them, bearing an uncanny likeness to a snarling mother bear.

"And let's get one thing straight," Caroline said, cocking her head to the side, a cascade of golden hair following in the movement's wake. "If I catch any of you lurking around me again, fishing for information on my best friend's private life, I will raise hell on you. Literally, I will dug up some ancient dead dude with the power to start a zombie apocalypse, just for the sake of raising that aforementioned hell."

With that, she spun on her heel, a loud clack cracking upon the pavement, and she waltzed off into the street.

The doors slammed shut behind her. A petrified Matt, hiding in the storage room, wondered exactly when his ex-girlfriend had grown more balls than he himself had.

Shaking his head dazedly, Kol wore the same partly amused, partly incredulous look his brothers did. "Nik, what the hell is it with you and being attracted to psycho girls?"

Their next stop was a deceptively normal-looking house, with cheery flowerboxes lining the windows and crisp white paint presenting a sweet picture.

Kol smirked at the oh-so-human sight, wondering which of the little Doppelganger's friends dwelled here. And, confidant in the knowledge that she had no other frightening vampire best friends like the ferocious blonde one, was bloodily anticipating instilling a healthy amount of good, old-fashioned vampire fear in whichever puny human inhabited this place.

Who would emerge from this very picture of domestic sweetness? A pink-cheeked cheerleader, perhaps, naïve and cowardly and who would obligingly faint if Kol so much as said 'Boo'? A timid classmate, who would lose their very sanity at the revealing of Kol's prominently veined and alabaster face?

A rush of excitement trilled through him, his hands unconsciously rubbing together at being able to indulge in his long-denied pastime of tormenting mortals (Elijah's withering gaze was enough to effectively kill any blood lust stone cold dead). Unbeknownst to a plotting Kol, Finn and Klaus eyed their brother's suddenly crazy smile and low cackles, surreptitiously inching away from him in what was equivalent to the regular human denial of being related to a particularly oddball family member in public.

"And what delicious little human lives here, Nik?" Kol queried, sweeping the premises with trained eyes.

Premises, that, unfortunately for an unaware Kol, belonged to none other than Bonnie Bennett, witch-in-training with a fondness for rupturing brain vessels without so much as a by-your-leave.

A ripple of incredulity tore through Klaus at the wholly unfitting description of the witch whose dwelling this was. Little, yes; delicious, no—not unless you were masochistically fond of biting into girls who would sooner shatter your skull than look at you. "Elena's best friend."

Kol's eyes glowed almost eerily. "Excellent."

"Ah, Kol?" Klaus spoke up, raising an eyebrow at his overeager sibling. "I believe it might be better that I handle this certain acquaintance."

"Why?"

Klaus snorted derisively, envisioning the creature that most certainly lay in wait within that little human abode for any vampire stupid enough to really piss her off (which his hotheaded little brother was more than capable of doing), while murmuring, "Because I rather enjoy retaining my place among the pseudo-living, thank-you-very-much." And because Elijah would be thoroughly put out with him if he allowed their young sibling to mouth off to a witch who liked vampires only one way: completely dead.

Or at least more dead than before.

Kol's only reply was an arrogant sneer and a dismissive, "Please, Nik. While these humans may be quite adept at thwarting your, admittedly ridiculous, plots on a near daily basis, they won't be able to pull any such thing on me."

Finn watched in silent interest as Niklaus came to a screeching halt on the pavement, his eyes narrowing to near slits at their mutual relative who was in the process of confidently sauntering away. Finn had only witnessed such a deadly expression on his half-brother's face but a few times in their long existence—once when Rebekah had chewed the head off of his favorite rag doll as a baby, and the other when Elijah had inadvertently captured the attentions of a village girl Nik had been working up the courage to speak to for weeks when they were both young.

The first had ended in a furious tantrum by an enraged five-year-old; the second event had been succeeded by a full month of moping and silent treatment. Needless to say, Finn's younger brother was as unpredictable in his anger as his entire personality was in general.

"You know, Kol," Klaus drawled out unhurriedly, a hint of sharp teeth peeking out from his barely moving lips. "I do believe you're right. You take this one, will you?"

Kol angled a cocky look at his two lagging brothers. "Glad you see it my way, Nik."

As Kol bounded up the last few steps leading up to the house's front porch (not even bothering to right the flowerpots he knocked over in his haste…because he was just evil like that), Finn had to wonder at the dark chuckle that emanated from Klaus's throat. The musical chime of the doorbell caught his sensitive hearing a moment later, and his attention was divided between a veritably bouncing Kol and a maniacally anticipative Klaus.

A few moments later, the soft patter of approaching human footsteps was easily detected and the front door swung open.

In the doorway stood a young woman, light brown eyes peeking out curiously from a sweet, heart-shaped face.

Finn raised an eyebrow. This was the best friend Niklaus was so wary of confronting? She looked no different than any other mortal adolescent Finn had ever seen.

Only a second later, however, Finn hastily revised that poorly-formed opinion.

For upon observation of who her unexpected visitors were, the tentative welcome on the girl's face dissolved into a searing look of denigration. The dislike emanating from her, enough to kill an empath stone dead, served in evoking his more cautious side after only a second's exposure. Finn took a subtle half-step towards Kol and Klaus, ready to forcibly drag them away if need be.

Bonnie Bennett, for her part, stayed absolutely frozen in place, her traitorous muscles locked up and feet riveted to the floor from shock. Her heart seemed to run at double the normal pace and a thousand different possibilities of such a nefarious visit skittered through her mind—most of them concluding with them standing over her lifeless body. Treaty or no, she trusted those damn Originals about as much as she liked them…which was, to say, not at all.

"Alright, human," Kol clapped his hands together with a handsome smile, plowing heedlessly through the tense atmosphere. "Just tell us if the Doppelganger's in love with my dear big brother and I won't brutally murder your friends and loved ones."

There was a moment of deathly silence.

Bonnie stared blankly at the sunny Original, as though attempting to deconstruct and decode his words for a hidden meaning—some dark, evil Original agenda to destroy all of humankind, perhaps. Because there was certainly, absolutely, no freakin' way she was being questioned by three ancient vampires about her best friend's love life.

No. Just…no.

"Kol," Finn sighed out in exasperation after a drawn out pause. "You are truly an idiot."

"Yes, Kol," Klaus added in a deadpan voice, despite the fact that his blue eyes were glinting with an almost unholy glee. "Antagonize the witch who has the ability to melt your, admittedly small, brain with a single look, shall we?"

In an impressive display of doing the scientifically impossible, Kol's already bloodless face turned that much paler. "Er…witch?" With his bugging eyes and gaping mouth, he more resembled an Original Chihuahua more than an Original vampire.

Finn threw a suddenly comprehending glance first at the wickedly sneering Klaus, who was clearly garnering a fair amount of pleasure from their brother's panic, to the bemused girl wordlessly watching their interaction.

Bonnie smirked, safe in the confines of her vampire-proof home, raising an eyebrow at the suddenly panicking Original.

"Bonnie Bennett," she said casually, folding her arms and leaning against the doorway. With the impeccable manners instilled in her by her grandmother (and perhaps the smallest hint of cross me and die, bastard) she continued nonchalantly, "Pleased to meet you."

Her sardonic tone should not have to be noted in this instance.

"Bennett?" Kol repeated in bewilderment, the name clearly sinking into his brain like a leaden weight of remembrance. "Bennett? The Doppelganger's best friend is a Bennett witch?" He spun to glare at a grinning Klaus, who seemed to be quite enjoying having Bonnie's murderous ire directed at someone other than him for once. "Nik, you arse," he growled, his accent coming out more pronounced. "You couldn't have told me that before I threatened her?"

Klaus shrugged. "You didn't bother to ask."

"And why the hell is Elijah in love with a girl whose best friend could turn him into a toad?"

"Now that's just silly," Bonnie interjected with a faux pleasant smile that, in actuality, lowered the surrounding air temperature about thirty degrees. "And toads are overrated. I'm much more of a 'turn their insides into jelly and pop their blood vessels' type of girl, actually." Her smile quickly morphed into a vicious scowl, her eyes pinning Kol in place as though eyeing up a target. "Care to see?"

In some bizarre, immediate reversal of mood, Kol switched from 'surprised fear' to his special 'I've-seduced-a-thousand-women' smolder. A sly smirk crept across his lips as his gaze deliberately flicked from the waves of dark hair to petite bare feet. "Oh, I'm sure there's plenty that you could show me that I'd enjoy, love."

The earlier moment of deathly silence? Copy and paste.

Except this time it was accompanied by the audible slap of Klaus's hand across his mouth as he struggled to contain his laughter, and Finn's heavy sigh as he wondered at his youngest brother's unchanged tendency of attempting to flirt his way out of troublesome situations with girls.

In contrast to the exasperation of the two Originals, Bonnie just wore a faint look of horror, as though she weren't quite sure which was worse: being hit with the knowledge that her best friend was not only a vampire magnet, but an Original vampire magnet; or the fact that she, Bonnie Bennett, was on the receiving end of some extremely unwanted attentions.

"Y-you…did you j-just—" she couldn't finish, merely giving a baffled shake of her head.

"A stutterer, hm?" Kol leaned forwards to the shock-immobilized girl, tilting his head. "Well, usually I like girls with sharp tongues, but I'd certainly make an exception in your case, little witch."

He gave a guileless smile.

The repulsed disbelief wore off as soon as his cocky voice invaded her ears again. Bonnie quirked an eyebrow, her mouth twisting into an interesting combination of a sneer and answering toothy grin.

And then there was a surge of light, a pained yelp, and Klaus and Finn watched impassively as their youngest brother went whirling through the air like some sort of flying vampire spinning top and landed in a neat clump of shrubbery beside the porch. Their ears were then assailed with the resonant slamming of a door by an irate Bennett witch that shook the very foundations of the porch they stood on. This was accompanied by a muffled shout that sounded oddly like "And stay out, you old pervert!"…but even with vampire hearing, one couldn't be too sure.

After a few seconds of waiting for their brother to emerge from his newly-found resting place, Finn pointed out, in his usual sensible manner, "We should probably make sure she didn't kill him."

He was granted a long-suffering look from a Niklaus. "Must we really?"

"He's our brother."

Klaus shot Finn another look, this one meaning And that's supposed to mean something to me?

Rolling his eyes, Finn took an extended moment to try and think up another plausible reason to check on the wellbeing of Kol. "Rebekah would be sad."

An inelegant snort came from the blonde vampire. "Oh please, Finn. She'd merely be upset that she missed such a delightful scene."

"Elijah would start subtly leaving those The Importance of Family self-help pamphlets in your room again."

Klaus blanched, and immediately set off towards the bushes in which Kol had still yet to stir from.

He wasn't difficult to locate, even amidst the thickness of flourishing greenery—there was one booted foot comically sticking straight up in the air, advertising his location.

"Really Kol," Klaus admonished as he meandered over to his sprawled brother. He mercilessly prodded him with his foot, rather in the way that one would examine a dead animal. "A thousand years old and you're recycling the same pick-up lines? Pathetic. I'm ashamed to claim any blood relation to you."

The neatly trimmed hedges outside the house that had conveniently (unfortunately) broken Kol's fall rustled at Klaus's goading. A low groan emitted from the bushes, as Kol weakly stirred from the courtesy jolt of unpleasant magic the little bi—erm, witch—had been so unkind as to give him. In an ill-temper now, and irritably picking off leaves and dirt clods that had found their way onto his personage, Kol retorted, "Don't worry, brother, you're only half-related to me, remember?"

"Still," Klaus smirked, undeterred by the insult to his parentage. "I'm not the one lying with my bum stuck in the bushes because I was stupid enough to attempt and flirt my way out of danger, am I Kol?"

Glaring, and ignoring the mockingly-extended hand Klaus had offered him, Kol hauled himself from his plant prison with a grunt of effort. He eyeballed the house with a decidedly unhappy look of contemplation, as though he were considering burning it straight to the brick and mortar foundation.

As though easily gleaning his thoughts, Klaus snorted and offered a bit of advice. "Try it, little brother. I guarantee that next time you'll be picking branch-sized twigs out of your gut if you do."

"Oh shut up," was the snarled response, as Kol stalked away from the site of his dignity's demise (trying not to look as though he was fleeing as quickly as he could), leaving two sniggering brothers and assorted leaves and twigs trailing behind him.

They had decided, for the interests of all involved, that the most efficient plan of attack was to split up. More ground would be covered that way, more people interrogated…although Klaus had the feeling Finn had eagerly suggested the idea because he was tired of listening to Klaus and Kol's incessant back-and-forth bickering.

Apparently, nine hundred years in a coffin wasn't quite enough to do anything for the perpetual headache that his siblings were experts at inducing.

A sigh escaped the hybrid as he plodded towards the public basketball court, mentally batting away all thoughts of his stoic and hyperactive brothers.

Klaus eyed the basketball court with a thinly-veiled aura of disgust, shaking his head in derision as he observed the young humans loitering around the place, engrossed in pelting each other with orange balls. Really, the things humans came up with for entertainment—and people asked why vampires fed on humans. Dumb animals, the lot of them—there were no other species on earth that made themselves so ostentatious for predators by helpfully congregating en masse in a single, open area for extended periods of time.

His mouth nearly watered at the thought of a violent feeding spree…and then his eyes promptly watered as the undeniable stink of sweat and body odor smacked right into his sensitive nose.

Urgh. Klaus's nose wrinkled in the universal sign of prim repulsion, and he hastily scanned the area for the particular human he had traced here. It was sometimes difficult to distinguish all the bland meat-sacks from one another, and he vainly tried to summon a mental image of the Gilbert boy he was currently searching for.

All that he ended up with was a vaguely male-looking Elena, her familiar 'I'm-so-morally-superior-to-you' glower fixed firmly on her face.

Really, what Elijah saw in the chit he would never quite understand. Katerina, at least, had had the undeniable sex appeal that could turn a dead man's head, and Tatia had worn charming gracefulness like a well-fitting cloak.

Klaus conveniently ignored that fact that he had recently been chasing after the vampire equivalent of a blonde, bouncy bunny rabbit who had a fondness for doing the aforementioned nose wrinkle of abhorrence whenever he came within five feet of her.

When he finally saw the vaguely familiar lanky form and messy brown hair of the Gilbert boy, he felt relief and triumph. Triumph that he would surely be the first among his brothers to resolve this irritating question of Elena's affections, and relief that he could escape the overwhelming sea of perspiration and testosterone stinking up his nose.

Elena's brother glanced up as he sensed the approaching visitor, and promptly blanched when catching sight of the blond hybrid sauntering towards him, usual cocky smile in place. Jeremy's hands clenched on the orange basketball clutched in his hold, the vervain bracelet wrapped around his wrist jingling as he did so.

"Klaus."

"Jeremy," Klaus greeted with only a slightly twisted smile, drawing nearer to the boy. The smile was a weaker variation of his 'I'm going to snack on your neck and laugh evilly while I do so' grin and just a tad bit stronger than his 'You are a mere human and I am Klaus, the great and powerful hybrid' look. "Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

Klaus's (admittedly poor) attempt at geniality didn't do much towards comforting Jeremy, though Klaus was mildly impressed at the way the ashen-faced boy refused to back away.

"A favor?" Jeremy's tone was somewhat incredulous, with a healthy dose of suspicion laced there as well. "A favor? Me?"

"I believe that's what I said, yes," he confirmed, wondering at the human need for mindless repetition.

Jeremy's brown eyes, so similar to Elena's, narrowed. "You tried to kill me once."

Klaus nodded, nonchalantly acknowledging his words as a fair point. "True. But I'm not here to kill you now, if that's what you're worried about. Peaceful coexistence and all that with your sister and her merry men." His mother and Elijah could really be such kill-joys when they set their mind to it. Terrorizing the Mystic Falls lackwits had been one of his few pleasures in life.

"So…" The boy hesitated, nervous gaze flicking to the edge of the court, wondering if escape were possible. "What exactly do you need from me then?"

"Only an insignificant query, no need to be overly anxious mate," Klaus drawled out amusedly, as though he could scent the fear rolling off of Jeremy in waves. "I merely wish to know if your beloved big sister has a secret ardor for my brother."

The basketball, formerly in Jeremy's hands, dropped with a thud onto the court and went bouncing vigorously away—quite a contrast to the slack-mouthed and wide-eyed boy rather wishing that a deliverance of death had been Klaus's intention of seeking him out.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled finally, shaking his head to dispel the daze of I-did-not-just-hear-that. "Who did you say…?"

"Ah, you're confused about which brother I was referring to?" Klaus queried, although whether his obliviousness was purposeful or earnest was anyone's guess. "Elijah, obviously. No girl in her right, sane mind would settle for Kol, and Finn has about as much personality as that post over there, and I, despite what certain unnamed sisters and blonde vampires seem to believe, would not romantically engage Elena under any circumstances. Ever. So there you have it, mate."

"…ardor?" Jeremy seemed capable of only bemused, one-word inquiries.

Klaus's impatience grew tangible, from the way his blue eyes narrowed to the arrhythmic tap of his foot on the ground. "Yes. Ardor. Or whatever teenage vernacular is used these days. A crush? The hots? A burning desire to tear off all of my dear brother's clothes—and by god was that not a visual I need. Is that explanatory enough for you?"

Jeremy shifted awkwardly, looking as though he'd very much like to be anywhere other than this time and place, holding this particular conversation with his mortal enemy.

A cold bead of sweat trickled down his neck, starkly different from the summer heat beaming upon human and hybrid. Acutely aware of the oddity of the question he had just been asked, and utterly confused as to the significance of it (was this another scheme of Klaus's to hurt his sister?), he fell back on his natural teenage defense strategy: complete and total indifference.

He offered a shrug. "How should I know?" he mumbled, soft brown eyes locking with the scrutinizing blue ones of Klaus.

Klaus pursed his lips, gaze boring into the apathetic teenager as though he could drill the answers out of him. "Well, you're her brother, aren't you Jer?"

Jeremy flinched at the sound of the familiar nickname his sister used falling from the lips of a psychopathic hybrid with delusions of grandeur. "Uh…yeah?"

He was given a pitying look. "Had to think about it there?"

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell Klaus to shut up, but Jeremy quite enjoyed being able to draw breath—as he'd learned in the past, mouthing off to a vampire was slightly counterproductive to that endeavor. Instead, he settled for shooting an annoyed look at the blonde hybrid.

"I really don't know, okay? I mean, do you share everything with your sister?" Jeremy asked pointedly, and then sighed as Klaus quirked an eyebrow at the teen's petulant tone. "Look, so far my sister's been involved with your everyday football-playing highschooler, a perpetually seventeen-year-old vampire who has as many sporadic, blood-craving related mood swings as the universe does stars, and his older vampire brother who has some severe personality issues and crazy eyes. I've dated a drug addict-turned-vampire who attempted to eat me, an ancient vampire who only began dating me to use me for her evil schemes, my sister's best witch friend, and made out with ghosts. When it comes to romance, Elena and I have a firm 'don't ask, don't tell' policy in place."

After Jeremy's spiel on the history of Gilbert dating came to an end, the teenager and ancient vampire stared at each other in silence. Awkward silence.

Eventually Klaus broke it with a resigned, "So I guess that's a 'no' to my question then, is it?" He smiled eerily. "Guess I'll just have to look elsewhere, then, won't I?"

A sinking feeling suddenly blossomed in Jeremy's stomach, and he was almost afraid to ask. "Elsewhere?" A sudden image of corpses strewn about the streets of Mystic Falls and the town being razed to the ground by one peevish hybrid flickered to being inside his head.

Klaus was already walking off, idly scooping up the forgotten orange ball and tossing it swiftly backwards over his shoulder as he did so. Jeremy gaped as it sailed perfectly through the basketball hoop.

Damn show-off vampires.

Finn stared at Matt.

Matt stared at Finn.

The seconds ticked by, the clock sounding abnormally loud in the relative stillness of The Grill.

With a nervous clearing of his throat, Matt began hesitantly, "So, uh…" He paused, racking his memory for the vampire's name.

"Finn," the other supplied emotionlessly, large black eyes regarding him unblinkingly.

"Um, yeah. So you and uh—"

"Klaus."

"Yes, you and Klaus wanted me to ask, um—"

"The Doppelganger."

Matt frowned at the blasé vampire sitting in the booth across from him. "You wanted me to ask Elena if she, uh, likes…"

"Elijah."

Matt's eye twitched as Finn innocently linked his hands together, meshing his long fingers into an interlocking pattern. "Yeah, could you stop with the name thing please?"

Finn inclined his head. "My apologies."

They resumed wordlessly staring at one another.

A dog barked in the distance.

It was a teacher work day, and that was normally something Alaric equated with blissful peace and quiet, absent of the petty teenage worries and high school dramas that he was forced to deal with on a daily basis (and that was in addition to the vampire dramas and supernatural catastrophes he was forced to deal with on a biweekly basis).

Unfortunately for Alaric, he was about to be privy to the experience of having his peace rudely disrupted, courtesy of one who had made it his life's goal to create an art form out of it.

Alaric looked up blearily as a football uniform-clad Kol Mikaelson came bounding into the classroom, with what could only be described as a shit-eating grin on his deceptively boyish face.

"Hey, teacher!"

Alaric groaned, before letting his head thump back down onto the paper-strewn desk it had been resting on only seconds ago. While it wasn't generally the wisest course of action in the presence of an unstable Original, he felt it was justified for two reasons: 1) the cease-fire treaty between Elena and Klaus, specifying that the Originals would be allowed residency in Mystic Falls with no further attempts on their lives, so long as people stopped not-so-mysteriously disappearing (aka, murdered), with a particular emphasis on Elena's loved ones, and 2) the brew of herbs that Bonnie regularly concocted to keep his violent alter ego at bay were utterly revolting and had the adverse habit of going straight to his head, causing an innumerable amount of migraines.

"Why," his voice came out muffled, "Are you here?"

"Needed to talk to you, I suppose. Also, there was football practice today." Kol shook his head, smirking. "Really, the delight you humans get from kicking around a ball! It's just too amusing to watch! It's also rather entertaining to think that if I so chose, I could use any of those muscle-headed blokes' skulls for a football instead…and I really might if one more of them tries to ram into me—"

"No," Alaric lifted his head again ever so gently, wincing as the movement initiated a round of resonating pain. "I mean why the hell are you even here?"

Kol regarded him innocently. "Are you trying to have an existential discussion with me?" A mischievous look flickered across his visage. "Or did your parents never give you The Talk?"

"I meant high school!" Alaric snapped out impatiently, before immediately placing a massaging hand on his forehead. Whether it was the vampire or Bonnie's magical brew that was the cause of this particular headache was a contender for a serious debate.

But the question was a valid one nevertheless—to the mystification of all involved, one Kol Michaelson had enrolled alongside his blonde sister in the local high school soon after the coven of Originals had decided to stay. Having to see the smarmy face of one of his sworn foes staring out at him each day for an hour, looking for all the world as though he hadn't lived through each section of history discussed, was enough to drive the self-proclaimed vampire slayer's already alarming level of blood pressure a notch or two higher.

This was also irritating, because Jeremy and Elena had taken one look at the damn blood pressure reading and abruptly started feeding him a diet that consisted of nothing more than leafy green rabbit food, saying with suspiciously earnest, identically smiling faces that they didn't want him to keel over from a heart attack instead of dying in an exciting battle with a vampire.

"Oh." Kol appeared to pause and give serious thought to the matter, tapping his fingers speculatively against his chin. "I was bored?"

It took all of Alaric's not inconsiderable reserve of patience to refrain from snatching up the freshly sharpened #2 pencil resting innocently beside his elbow and sending it flying towards the Original's heart, Elena-style. Because a partly-dead Kol equaled a pissed off Klaus, and a pissed off Klaus equaled the treaty broken. And the treaty broken equaled an hour-long angry tirade by an extremely irked Elena.

And could that girl lecture something fierce. It was like having your mother scold you—going on and on until you just wanted to hang your head in utter shame.

So really, it was in the best interests possible (meaning, the preservation of his sanity), that he not follow his instincts and use Kol as an impromptu pencil holder.

"But seriously, teach," Kol drawled with a self-satisfied grin as Alaric twitched almost convulsively at the mocking title. "I've got a problem. And aren't students supposed to go to their teachers when they've got problems?"

Alaric eyed him furtively as he rifled through his desk drawer for a most elusive bottle of painkillers that he was in dire need of right about now. He needed happy anti-pain pills, now. "I wouldn't know where to begin with your laundry list of problems, Kol."

A faux pout formed on Kol's lips. "That's hardly kind, Mr. Saltzman."

"Get off my desk," he ordered flatly, eyeing the corner that Kol had happily taken upon himself to perch on. "And I don't do kind. Particularly not to vampires."

"You don't treat those boorish Salvatore commoners nearly as harsh," Kol countered back without missing a beat. He rested his head idly against the palm of his hand, his dark eyes mocking. "Or is it different for vampires your precious student is screwing?"

Before Alaric's eyes could finally pop out of his head due to the anger rushing through his veins and his short temper skyrocketing, Kol continued on blithely, "And speaking of Elena Gilbert, that brings me back to my original problem! It's all a mess of vampires and love and romance and such crap, which frankly I could care less about, but what can you do, right?"

"I—"

"I mean really, it's utterly baffling to me as to why all of these vampires trail after that girl like lost puppies—god, I hate puppies—and it's certainly never a problem I thought I'd have to deal with. Believe you me, teach, I've been forced at knifepoint by Bekah to read Twilight, and I'll tell you now that 'blood singing' crap is ridiculous. It all tastes the freaking same! Unless you're in love. I think love puts a nauseating coating of glittery happiness on everything."

"Y-you're telling me," Alaric choked out when Kol finally paused for breath, eyeing the would-be-teenager incredulously. "That you like Elena?" Oh dear god, he was going to need more than headache medication to get through this day—he was going to damn well require someone to club him over the head with the thick World through the Ages textbook on his desk, and pray that he woke up when the universe regained some semblance of normality.

Allowing his murderous alter ago to take over be damned, unconsciousness was preferable to this.

Disgust immediately overtook Kol's handsome features, and for an instant he tottered precariously as he nearly toppled off the desk in surprise. "Her? Hah. Hardly." Exasperation was written on his face as his eyes narrowed at Alaric. "Weren't you listening at all?"

"I was trying not to," Alaric grumbled, only feeling the slightest sense of relief that he wasn't going to have to beat back an amorous Original vampire from his student and younger-sister-figure. That girl had more than enough on her already-overburdened plate, what with college looming on the horizon, a younger brother to monitor, and the tentative peace she had managed to forge with Klaus still hanging on only by a few precarious threads.

Huffing, Kol folded his arms and jutted out his hip in the typical teenager pose of self-righteous annoyance. "Well, if you'd been paying attention at all, you would know that I was asking if Elena's in love with Elijah!" He shook his head disparagingly. "Honestly, you humans…so dense."

A mystified Kol watched as Alaric stared expressionlessly at him for the span of a human's fluttering heartbeat, closed his eyes, and slammed his head down onto desk with a thoroughly painful-sounding thunk.

Elena sighed happily to herself as she sipped at her coffee, eyes absentmindedly scanning the college brochures she'd actually remembered to bring along with her. She'd had a wearying, yet ultimately fulfilling, day of touring campuses and their respective facilities, attempting to steer her once careening-out-of-control life back onto a course that had some semblance of normality.

Naturally, with graduation fast approaching in June, university was most certainly a part of that course.

And now that she knew for certain that Klaus and his extended family were not going to embark on an extended killing spree anytime soon (partly due to the formal contract she and Klaus had been able to settle between them, and partly due to the comforting fact that Elijah was around to reign in his family whenever they became too evilly rambunctious), Elena had even felt comfortable enough not settling for Mystic Falls Community College, but instead applying for a few institutions two or three hours away, ones that had more promising English programs.

Strangely enough, she remembered with a slight smile, Elijah had been the one to advise her of this.

With Alaric being overwhelmed with a new relationship and a long-put aside career that he was trying to rebuild, Bonnie and Caroline being just as preoccupied as her in their decisions of shaping their respective futures, and Damon and Stefan knowing very little about modern day universities (she wasn't even sure that Damon had ever gone to college, for as a human he had run off to war, and as a vampire he had been too busy seeking the thrills such a lifestyle brought. And Stefan…she supposed that his numerous years spent as a Ripper and a recovering blood-aholic had stinted any possible plans of extended education)…well, she had desperately sought someone to turn to for aid.

And who else more suitable than a thousand year old vampire who had not only been present at the times of the birth of the university in America, but had, given his passion for the new and undiscovered, dedicated much of his time to attendance of some of the most renowned schools both in the States and Europe?

Elena supposed she hadn't really been thinking clearly when first turning up on Elijah's doorstep at six o'clock in the morning, clutching an array of applications, brochures, and letters in her arms with a desperate, wide-eyed look on her face. But Elijah had merely quirked an amused eyebrow, his lips tilting upwards as she had explained to him in a garbled tumble of words and frantic hand gestures exactly why she so needed his expertise.

He had simply cut off her babbling by gently pulling her inside, extracting the pamphlets she had had a death grip on from her hands, and poured her a cup of warm mint tea while ordering her to calm down.

And that had marked the start of the next two months, in which the sight of Elijah and Elena, heads bent together in concentration at all hours of the night and soft conversation and hints of laughter surrounding them, became quite a commonplace one in the Originals' household.

In a strangely touching display of how well he understood her, Elijah had helped her select colleges that were thankfully close enough to home should she be homesick or should Jeremy need her, but far enough to grant her some much desired breathing space (mainly from two unnamed brothers/guard dogs that she was beginning to realize had consumed her life and time in an almost unhealthy manner…needless to say, Stefan and Damon would not be accompanying her to wherever she so chose to go).

Elena was moving on, and she was undeniably looking forwards to the future.

There were only a few loose ends in Mystic Falls that needed tying, she thought distantly. Some stories needed closure, and some words needed to be said…though whether or not she would ever have the courage to say them was an entirely different matter.

Casting an vague glance at the clock on the wall of the little sandwich shop, she was surprised to note it was nearly six p.m. Though loathe to depart from the strangely normal day she'd been enjoying thus far, she didn't want to set out for Mystic Falls too late and risk sending Jeremy into a worried frenzy.

Fishing her phone from her pocket as she drained the last dregs of her coffee, Elena jumped when, the moment she switched it back on, the air was rent with a ceaseless flow of beeps alerting her to a number of missed calls and texts.

Her mug hit the table with a crack, her olive-toned face drastically paling as she scrambled to scroll through the notifications and messages littering the screen. Each alert only served to spur her on to visualize some potentially ghastly situation that might have befallen the trouble-friendly town, effectively shattering any semblance of calm she'd held only moments previously.

Texts and calls from Jeremy, about ten from Bonnie, thirty from Caroline (typical), a few from Alaric and Matt…oh god, had some supernatural disaster struck yet again?

Elena felt sick, as though someone had ruthlessly landed a fist square in the center of her stomach. How could she have been so selfish, so stupid, turning her phone off so as to explore the colleges uninterrupted, when her friends might have needed her? Her brother might have needed her?

She hastily opened one of Bonnie's messages, figuring she'd receive the most coherent picture of the situation from her ever-practical friend.

A second after reading it, Elena's phone joined the forgotten coffee mug on the table with a clatter. Her head whirled, attempting to comprehend what she had just read.

Elena's eyes strayed back to the softly glowing screen, the bold text staring back at her, causing her heart rate to speed up and resonate loudly in her chest.

Because…it was another supernatural predicament befalling her life for the umpteenth time.

It just wasn't one she'd been expecting.

There you have it. Chapter two. A little (ok...a LOT) late, but better than never, right? This chapter was sort of hard to get written because I was feeling emotional about my darling Kol's death, to which I can only respond with a quivering "WHYYYYYYY GOD WHYYYYY?"

Thanks to everyone who favorited/followed/left a beautiful review/messaged me to get my lazy butt in order and write this chapter :) Thanks particularly to all the girls at the Original Forums who really help me get my Elejah muse going.

I'd love to know what everyone thinks, so drop a review, whether it's saying "LOL THIS SUX" or "UPDATE PLEASE". I'll settle for either!