Hey, guys! I started rewriting all the chapters because, well, they seemed quite, uhm, childish and not-enough for me. I'm waiting for another break to actually finish them all, as I really care for this story and I want to be completely content with it. So, here you, go chapter 1; for now, a little warning: the first chapters are quite...uhm, not so well-written, I swear, my writing grew up along with me! Heh, I wonder if my constant writing change is visible to you, too.

Anyhow, I'm forever grateful to you guys and thank you so much for supporting me throughout this story! Loots of love! xx snuff.

Undisclosed Desires

Chapter 1

-HPOV-

As the train door opened, I felt the fresh breeze tickle my skin. I sighed happily and pushed back my blond curls, hopping out of the train that seemed to sway.

I felt the salty taste invading my tongue, the summer wind that only seemed to take me higher and higher, pushing me off my limits and throwing me ruthlessly.

Ah.

District 4; well, it might be considered the most beautiful and appealing place of Panem, which had been, lately, found in an endless row of changes and modern improvement. I found it quite silly, at first, that we were all developing a strange bond with all the technological wonders our lives seemed to minimalize themselves and recreate within limits that we set ourselves.

Some were getting worried, some were struck, some remained indifferent and some were stilled with grief and a dark, fulfilling emptiness that lingered coldly against crooked bones that glossed out of loss.

Well.

I had missed this.

I had always been drawn here, especially during summers. It was, well, mad, but magic.

And there was him.

I shook my head, as if attempting to shake away my mix of thoughts. I had always spent too much time analysing, I guess, whilst live was to be lived loudly.

I dragged my suitcase after me, grunting. I had stuffed too much, once again, and I was genuinely thrilling for his amused smile and shake of head, for the brush between our fingers when he would lean in to help me, for the kiss he would drop on my forehead after teasing me uncomfortably.

Well.

My attention was caught by a woman in her early 30s who was eyeing me insistently, the frame of her face being clouded by a round, vibrant-blue hat. She had tanned skin, brightly green eyes and a questioning smile, while her black, long and ravishing hair was thrown over her shoulders.

I ran to her and I couldn't help but throw myself in her opened arms.

"Haley", I heard her easy voice call.

"Annie!" I cried out, feeling tears ready to burst out.

She pulled out from my tight hug and smiled at me. "You're so beautiful, Haley." I smiled back as my lips thanked her, reddening uncomfortably, as compliments always tended to unease me.

"Let's get you to the car.", she went on, letting a warm hand fall on my right shoulder.

I cautiously tangled myself on the passenger seat, resting my head against the window.

Annie started the car and I regarded the sudden drift of colours and fuzzing images. We started chatting about easy nothings and laughing freshly. I tried to distract myself by focusing on Annie's chipper voice, but my heart was hanging over a question which I dared not ask, but that was warming my whole being, from my tiptoes to the roots or my hair. I bit my lip and then whispered, loud enough for Annie to hear, though: "Where is Finn?"

I watched as intelligible emotions crossed her face. "Oh.", was the sound that escaped her lips immediately.

My whole being stung then, seeing in her oh-so-familiar-to-his eyes a mix of pity, understanding and even a tiny shame that made her cheeks redden.

"Oh, dear, I'm sorry. I'm not sure, he said he'd be here to greet you. Maybe he got caught into something", Annie said, trying to sound reassuringly.

I almost sank in myself as she said those words. Well, what could I have expected? I was sure he forgot. Why would the hear-throb Finnick Odair II remember someone like me? There were so many others. Prettier. Vixen starlets that felt so good to be.

I composed myself, smiling rather sadly.

"Oh, it's okay then." I smiled at Annie as she led me in her car. "I'm sure there's something that caught him." Yeah. A chick with some nice gymnastic abilities.

Annie smiled at me somewhat apologetically. On our way, we continued chatting about random stuff which couldn't keep my mind busy enough not to wander where he was and if there was any possibility that he could have remembered.

No, it wasn't that which bothered me.

I knew he did remember.

But what I couldn't keep myself not to ask my inner goddess was whether he actually cared enough. Damn him.

When we arrived at the villa the Odairs had just across the beach, my heart skipped a beat and my eyes automatically started searching for him. I sighed, feeling crushed. He was nowhere to be found. Annie helped me carry my luggage up to my room, then left me to "accommodate", as if I had never been there before!

I rushed to my bag and pulled out my headphones. I listened and sang along loudly to one of the few bands which could calm me down, which was Muse. I did not know why I did that, it was like a slow tormentors pace, as me and him used to share those songs, it was what stuck us together. Undisclosed Desires, Starlight, Hysteria... all of them represented phases which we went through in our... bondage.

Suddenly, I gasped as my headphones were pulled roughly from my ears: I dropped my iPod and the song "Undisclosed Desires" resounded loudly, filling the whole room with its soft, vibrating sounds. Why was I so keen on it?

I tried to turn around to see my attacker, but I was trapped in the firm grip his hands had around my waist. He lent down and, in the mean time, his fingers travelled to my chest as he pulled at the satin of my blouse, causing me to shiver.

Then he turned me and pulled me to him. "You may be a sinner, but your innocence is mine.", he muttered, playing with a lock of my hair.

I gasped when his hands groped me and he started kissing and licking on my neck: "Mmmstop", I choked. He bit the lobe if my ear and breathed, amused: "What, sweetheart?"

"Stop!" I croaked, managing to pull away from him. Our eyes locked and I swallowed, not wanting to give in his deep gaze. He was even hotter than I remembered, with that intense gaze and his perfect features and his ravishing hair and the muscles that I could see through his T-shirt and...

"Well, you did remember, didn't you, now." he commented, amused. "Did we fuck on this one? Or not yet?"

My eyes drifted off to the V-line that his shirt formed, ostentatiously showing off his perfectly toned abs.

Stop, Haley, I commended myself.

He smirked. "What, sweetheart, see anything that you like?". I blushed furiously and looked away. He laughed and then sat on the bed, eyeing me up and down. "Looking good, Hals.", he grinned.

I crossed my arms and refused to look at him. "Didn't you miss me, baby?", he teased. That asshole. Arse, how he liked me to call him. He knew just how much I had missed him.

I felt tears threatening to burst out. That's what I most hated about myself. When I got mar, I cried. When I got sad, I cried. When I was happy, I laughed uncontrollably like a total retard.

"Well, someone has to be the sentimental one, right?", I blurted out, praying that tears wouldn't be streaming down my face any time sooner.

"Sweetheart?", he asked automatically, narrowing his eyes. He got up and threw his arms around me, gripping at my waist. He lent his cheek on my hair and kissed the top of my head softly. I gave in and started crying uncontrollably, nuzzled at his chest. He started shushing me and caressing my hair and my back. "Why would you say that?", he asked.

"Because it's true!", I half-yelled. "And why would you have missed me", I continued, "when every night you had a chick spread her legs for you in your bed and when every morning you woke up to someone else?"

I stopped crying and glared at him.

"You think that's what happened?" he sounded oh-so-angry. I had never thought I would see him narrowing his eyes at me since that midnight that we spent on the beach drinking, kissing, laughing and singing. "You think I fucked random chicks every night and didn't even remember you? You think it's easy for me, having an insane mother-" "Don't you fucking talk like that about Annie!" I interrupted him.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up.", he hissed at me, bringing his face only a few inches away from mine. "And having you, closing up and hiding shit away from me, crying your eyes out and shifting moods like you're fucking crazy..."

My eyes and heart stung. "Now I'm crazy to you too, my love?", I trembled. Finn paused, realizing what he had said.

"I, um, didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"It hurts.", I whispered.

"I know, God, I'm sorry."

I gulped and threw my arms around his abdomen, resting my forehead on the crook of his neck. His arms drew me closer in his warmth.

"I did miss you, you know." he murmured. "I thought about you constantly, sweetheart, don't you pull this on me, I can't stand it without you."

"I missed you, so, so much, Finn!" I cried out.

He smiled and kissed my lips softly. The kiss tasted of salt tears, neglect and unbridled desire.

Maybe our love was a poisoned wine, as we've been told, but I couldn't help but drink from the cup.

End of first chapter. Is it up to any good? xx snuff.