*Le pop* I pop out of the bushes of America's house. There is a leaf stuck in my beautiful golden hair, but when you work in secret you must sacrifice some things. A few days ago I heard Angleterre is to visit America's house today, so being the nosey beauty I am, I made it my mission to come spy-I mean watch them from the distance that I'm at right now. It's so cute when England pretends they are not in a relationship, when in fact, they are. I must've been watching over them for about thirty human years by now.

I see a man in a black suit and black driver's hat walk Angleterre to the front door. He drops a single suitcase next to Britain.

"Have a nice day, sir." The driver says to him while tipping his hat.

England rings the doorbell and looks around for a while. He looks forward when America opens the door with his arms waiting for a hug. "Britain!" I hear him say. He's wearing a black shirt that I can tell from here that Angleterre is going crazy over.

England smiles at the American, " 'Ello, America." He steps inside and kisses America, America puts his hand on Britain's lower back and gets his suitcase. I move my position to one in front of a window on the side of America's house where I can see England standing in the living room. I also look at the hygiene level of America's living room, I saw how determined he cleaned earlier but I can still tell pampas ass doesn't fully like the way it is cleaned. America had disappeared, knowing if he had stayed he'd be lectured of how the house looked. Angleterre walks over to a picture that has a black frame. I can't exactly see what picture it is, but it makes him smile.

America enters the room once again, "You're kinda early, babe." He wraps his arms around the Brit. I remember after five weeks of dating, England just gave up on correcting his American slang.

"I can't be a little early?" England asks.

"No, I didn't mean it like that, I just-"

"I'm messing with you, America. Lighten up." Britain says

"Me lighten up? You, the guy who was born with a stick up his ass, are telling me to lighten up?" Very good point he just brought up. I believe Angleterre was actually born with a coller up in his cul. The smaller man furrows his big eyebrows and has a sour face. But he just laughs.

"I suppose you're right." That's the first I've ever heard him say that to America. Wait… yes, the first time he's ever said that to him. America looks as if he just realized something.

"You must be super horny to say something like that to me." He says. I'm practically rolling on the grass in my laughter with my hand over my mouth so they don't hear me. I kick the grass in my fit of laughter and hold my side.

"Alfred!" Angleterre says. Uh oh, you're in trouble now, mon ami. "Don't say such things!"

I pick myself up and look through the bushes once again. "Wh-why not? You're my boyfriend, right?" he asks like a dog that knows he's done wrong.

Aww, how adorable! Angleterre is blushing! "Well yes, but still it's very improper."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." He says.

It looks as if Britain is showing sympathy for the American, so he rests his head on the boy's chest. "The house looks nice."

America sighs deeply. "I know it's worse than a pig's- wait, what?" Did I hear that right? No, of course not. Angleterre hates the way it was clean.

"I said it looks nice. You did a really good job of cleaning." I did hear that right. That's strange. America obviously looks very excited over the praise.

"Uh, thanks then." He says.

"You said you bought some tea, yes?" Ah yes, the British man's crack: tea.

"Yeah, the kind you like it's in the kitchen. Do you want me to fix you some?" America offers.

"No you probably wouldn't fix it right anyway. I can do it myself." England says. Finally he is insulting America, I was starting to get worried. He starts looking in the cabinets and pulls out a tea box, unwraps it, and starts to fix himself the drink. "Are you hungry?"

"Starved." I guess he's learned by now to speak in only one word sentences unless he wants to be lectured yet again. He seems to know his way around old Angleterre.

"Good, I'll make you something." RUN AMERIQUE RUN!

"What?" he asks, poor fool. He shall have the most decorated burial.

"You must be exhausted with all the cleaning, so I'll make you something to eat." England says.

"No, you don't have to do that. You're a guest in my house." Good, America. Do anything you can to make sure he does not cook.

"It's okay, I don't mind. Besides I found this recipe online that I wanted to try out." He's grabbing the ingredients. STOP HIM RIGHT NOW!

Fifteen minutes pass, Angleterre is finished preparing the meal. I think I can smell its horridness from here. When it's set in front of America the look of death is on his face. Sure, sometimes he tended to be annoying, but not even America deserves this torture.

"And while you eat that, I think I'm going to unpack my things." England hugs America and leaves to the back bedroom.

America takes one sip from a spoon and the poor bastard looks poisoned. I can't watch anymore without throwing my guts up and move to the window of the bedroom where England resides.

He's setting his things in a drawer, he looks like he's thinking of something. Most likely his American lover's perfection. He pulls out one of America's shirts and brings it to his nose. He inhales the scent and drops onto the bed. Ahahaha he looks like a teenager who was head over heels in love. His eyes flutter open and discards the shirt.

I move back my earlier position as England walks back into the kitchen. "Well? How is it, love?" he places a hand on Amerique's shoulder.

"Oh my god, England! It's super delicious, better than hamburgers! Pleeeeeease can I have more?" he begs. I can't believe it, maybe all of those disgusting hamburgers dissolved his stomach and is no longer affected by it.

"Sorry, I didn't make anymore." England says. He starts to walk backwards with his finger instructing America to follow him with a smile that suggests as well. Ohonhonhonhon, I know where this is going. I move back once again to the bedroom window.

England waits on the bed for the American that soon comes into the room. Angleterre winks. America places his knees on either side of Angleterre sitting on the bed as he cups the Brit's face. He smiles down to his English lover as Britain moves his hands up America's thighs and up his back. Both open their mouths and close their eyes for a kiss. I definitely snap a picture of that. They fall back onto the bed and continue their kissing fest. England slides his hands over America's stomach and chest to around his neck. America picks himself up and removes his black shirt then returns to kissing England. I take a picture of that. America pounds his hands on both sides of the Brit with a smile, the said Brit chuckles for a while. Angleterre moves his hands back down to America's derriere, rubbing it and squeezing it. Britain buries his hands beneath America's jeans and around to the front of them, trying to unbutton them.

"Whoa, whoa, take your shirt off, too." America instructs. He stands on his knees again, England rolls his eyes and grunts but slides his shirt over his head. America gets his stomach licked by a British tongue and his pants button undid by English hands. He rolls his head back and closes his eyes at the, I'm assuming, amazing feeling. England pulls denim pants down to America's knees, revealing British flag briefs. He raises a single eyebrow up to America and smirks. "What? You bought them for me." America says.

"I know it's just a turn on to see you wear them." England says. He flips over America to where he is on top of him now. He kisses him one more time. I took a picture of that. Angleterre kisses his stomach again, but a little lower. I'm talking hemline of the briefs lower. He pulls at the underwear until a fully hardened erection springs up, then he pulls them all the way off. He smiles up to America.

It always pains me to see this side of England. I mean, I grew up with the guy. I watched him as he raised the American he's about to suck.

He licks up the length of America's queue. America hitches his breath, when England puts it all in his mouth. Bobbing his head up and down, Angleterre continues to coat America in his saliva. America winces at the, again I'm assuming, great feeling. England finally stops torturing me when he picks his head up to look at America.

"Could you, love?" he asks with a smile.

"My pleasure." America says. He removes Britain's pants, he's wearing American flag briefs. I close my eyes with my head down and shake my head. When I pick up my head, I roll my eyes. America reaches to the back of Angleterre's underwear and removes them. With both hands on England's ass, he digs one of his fingers inside. The Brit holds tighter to his lover and calls his name.

After a few seconds, when Britain was fully stretched enough with details I'd rather not go into (because once again, I grew up with this man), America flips Britain over with himself on top again. England gives an obvious clearing of his throat. America looks up to him in confusion. Angleterre has a sour face with an eyebrow arched again, clearly America was forgetting something.

"Oh right, got it." America remembered. He stretched for a condom and stretched it on himself. Though, I'd rather not see any of that, I'm glad they remembered to be safe.

Amerique wraps Angleterre's legs around him and lowers himself face to face with the emerald eyed man. He slowly pushes into England, while he and the Brit both wince. I don't look but take a picture of that, too. I'll even admit it, though it's weird for me to watch this, it is hot. Angleterre puts his hands on America's face and deeply kisses him again. He brushes the American's glasses over his face and into his hair, pushing his bangs back a bit. As he puts his hands back to where they were on America's face, America took of his glasses fully and put them on a side of the bed they weren't using and his bangs went back to where they originally were. As America pushed repeatedly, Angleterre looked as if he was also thrusting the American further in.

It kind of got boring after the first twelve minutes of them making out and having sex in different positions. I nonchalantly took pictures of when they did it doggy-style, when England rode America, when they were in the lotus position, and much more. By the end of it all, they ended up in their briefs again. Not under the covers America had his arm acting as England's pillow. He was brushing sweat-drenched bangs out of his face and humbly smiling down to him. England had his arms wrapped around America's waist, smiling up to America. After a while, Britain sat up and reached to a side table. He grabbed a small white box with a red line across it, no doubt a cigarette box. He pulls out a cigarette and places it in his mouth. He picks up a lighter and clicks it a few times until it starts working. With the small flame against the white cylinder, he waited until it burned properly. He put down the pocket lighter and began puffing the smoke container. America, the whole time as he watched, looked disappointed.

"I wish you didn't smoke." He said quietly. England looked over to him.

"Why can't I?" he asked.

"Well, it's bad for you." America said.

"So are hamburgers." England retorted.

"Hamburgers don't make everything smell like smoke for days." America said back.

"America, I only smoke to reduce stress, and you're kind of making me more stressed." England said and puffed one in and out.

"No you don't, what about this situation would make you stressed? You smoke because you're addicted to them. Hence, they're bad for you." The American said.

England looked over to America and smirked. He was obviously up to something. He straddled America, holding down his arms.

"England, get off of me!" America protests as he wiggled around to get out of Angleterre's hold.

Britain puts his knee on one of America's shoulders and held his face in front of him. He smiled an evil smile. He puffs in one more time the slowly breathes it out in America's mouth. After he let go, America coughed up something fierce. England gets up off of America and sits against the head board.

America rolls on his side, "Why do I even bother? You're not gonna quit. No matter what I say." He says.

England breathes out deeply, he wraps his arms around America. "If you tried it, it wouldn't bother you so much." He put the cigarette to America's mouth.

"No way." America sounded disgusted and shoved Britain off with his shoulder.

Angleterre looked hurt, he got out of the bed and left to another room. I thought I heard a sink running. Angleterre returned to the bed. He closed his eyes, very annoyed, "If you want me to, I… can try quitting. Okay?" he said.

America lit up like a Christmas light and pulled England into a hug. "Thank you." America whispered.

"Whatever." Britain said.

I stood up to the podium to give my speech. "Now, before I get started, I would like to show a slideshow I have prepared for this meeting." I say.

Amerique and Angleterre are sitting next to each other, exchanging glances and occasional smiles.

I click up on the giant screen that now reveals a picture of the couple on the bed, kissing. I 'act' as if that was the wrong slideshow even though I actually put it up there on purpose. After hearing all the gasps, America and England look up to themselves on the screen. Both of their sets of eyes grow big and I chuckle at them. I flip through some more slides slowly until it got to the raunchy stuff.

"I'm sorry, I can't show anymore because of graphic content. There are children in this room." I say, looking over to Sealand and Latvia. England covered Sealand's eyes after the first slide popped up, he is after all America and England's child who was told to stay in the UK while Angleterre visited America. No one was there to cover Latvia's eyes though.

I switch off the power point and turn on the lights. England and America both have their hand rubbing their foreheads in embarrassment.

"You're a dead man, frog." England says, but I only smile to this threat.

Last chapter done. Weren't expecting France's POV for the last chapter, were ya? Oh, you were? Never mind then. I had a lot of fun writing all these, they were a hoot. Don't try convincing me otherwise to write more, because I won't. This story was actually a spur of the moment type thing that gained more chapters. Hope you liked it!