A/N: TRIGGER WARNING! PLEASE DON'T CONTINUE READING THIS IF YOU THINK THAT YOU'LL BE TRIGGERED INTO DOING SOMETHING SIMILAR. I JUST WROTE IT FOR THE SAKE OF MY BRAIN BECAUSE REALLY I'M SECRETLY A KURT SADIST BUT ANYWAY, IF YOU NEED ANYONE TO TALK TO OR VENT TO OR ANYTHING, MY PM BOX IS AVAILABLE FOR YOU. ALWAYS REMEMBER, YOU ARE NOT ALONE :)

BY THE WAY, I DON'T OWN GLEE SO JUST SAYING.

EDIT: I'm so sorry for not noticing the mistakes beforehand. I edited it for you but if you feel like I've missed something or I haven't done a particular part right, feel free to tell me. And seriously, if you need a friend I'm here.

Kurt just wants to end it all.

His life has just taken a turn for the worst these past few days and he doesn't think he can handle it anymore. He wanted to call someone –anyone –to talk to. Maybe that person can prevent him from doing something stupid.

It's funny though how he thinks that he has someone there for him. No has ever been really there for him.

Kurt really liked to think that he had this special bonding with his father, what with growing up with just the two of them. But apparently, he was wrong. His father only took care of him probably because his mother told him to and now with his new family, an amazing wife and a straight star football player for a son, he doesn't need Kurt anymore.

Mercedes was his best friend, the first person he came out to. But with his recent transfer at Dalton, they have drifted apart. They haven't been keeping in contact as much as they used to. It looked like the once dynamic duo was no more.

The one he was really sad about though was Rachel. Sure, they hadn't been the closest of friends in the beginning but he believed that they were slowly turning into something akin to brothers and sisters. They had the same dreams of going off to New York and making something of themselves but despite all of that, she betrayed him. It hurt because she was there when he was talking about his feelings for Blaine. She was too busy ranting about her own feelings about Finn though so maybe she hadn't heard him.

Right now, she was still angry at him for when he tried to talk to her out of her date with Blaine. She wanted to prove him wrong by kissing Blaine sober and he guessed she was right. He left before they finished kissing because well, it hurt too much to see. Even if it turned out that Blaine was still gay, it's not like he would suddenly have feelings for him and start singing love songs to him so it really was no use staying there. It would only damage his already shattered heart more. Maybe Rachel was right.

Speaking of Blaine, he was also mad at him because of his comment about bisexuals. He didn't even mean it. He was just really upset because Rachel has gotten almost everything from him and he never really complained that much about it. But of all the things, Blaine too? It was too much, even for him. It felt like the final straw and so his brain-to-mouth filter broke and it just happened that Blaine was the one to witness his explosion.

Wasn't he allowed to be human for once in his life? He was used to hiding all his feelings and building up these walls to prevent people to see what was actually happening in his head but when his demeanor began to crack a little, Blaine was the one to witness it and it caused him to blow up on him? It was unfair.

He couldn't blame Blaine though; he must sound so much like a hypocrite to him being as he preached all about equality and then he goes around saying things like this. Maybe he was just like Karofsky.

It doesn't matter much anyway. Blaine hated him now and there's nothing he can do about it. Blaine's been avoiding him ever since the "incident" and also probably told all the warblers considering the cold glares he gets from each of them in the hallways and the not-too-hard shoves that was not enough to be considered as a bullying act but enough to bring him back to his memories in McKinley. He tried to show them that it didn't affect him one bit just like he did in his old school but sometimes it just gets too tiring and he doesn't want to lie to himself anymore.

All these events made Kurt realize something.

He doesn't have friends, not anymore. He used to though and now that he thinks about it, Blaine was the only one he'll ever consider a friend. Although now he understood that Blaine probably only talked to him because he felt sorry for the poor gay boy spying on their glee club and being the kind boy that he is, took him under his wing. And he guessed that the rest of the warblers just followed his lead, like usual. And now that they weren't on speaking terms, it all made sense how they were obviously ignoring him and taking Blaine's side without hearing his side of the story.

Besides, who would want to be caught dead being Kurt's friend anyway? He was ugly, fat, he had pale skin that resembled a ghost, his voice was too girly, he was too much of a wimp and most of all, he was a loser.

It was useless to care anymore anyway. No one cared about him so why should he care about himself? He was never going to make it. Broadway? New York? It was impossible. He's got no talent, he was too stupid and to top it all off he doesn't even have enough money to go to the city of his so-called "dreams". Did he actually think he'll be able to reach the top and prove everyone they're wrong? Pathetic.

Now here he was, alone in his dorm room bathroom. He usually wouldn't be alone on a Friday night at 5 pm with his hyper active roommate, Jeff, but he barely occupies their room anymore because he apparently heard of the news about Kurt's "issues" with bisexuality. And being bisexual himself, it looks like he hasn't been taking it too kindly.

Kurt was currently holding a blade on his wrist, wondering if all the anguish he's been feeling will go away if he just applied a little more pressure just like some articles he read in the internet. He's been suffering from terrible insomnia lately and with nothing else to do, he decided to look for a solution for all the pain he's been going through.

The young warbler's tired of all the crap people have been saying about how it's all going to get so much better in the end. He used to believe that when he was still naïve back then but if you really thought about it never really got better for him. That's why he was doing this in the bathroom right now. It may not be a permanent solution for all his troubles but maybe it was enough to take his agony away, even just for a little while.

The blade was close, so fucking close that he could almost feel it burying inside his skin, the physical pain replacing the psychological misery happening in his head.

Just a little more he thought

Just a little more

Tears were clouding Kurt's vision and it was dropping down on the small blade, making it shine briefly under the white light that their private bathroom provides. It was almost there, it was slowly seeping through but –no. he couldn't do it. He just can't.

He was such a failure. He couldn't even push through with something as petty as this.

He threw the blade to the mirror and started sobbing uncontrollably. He doesn't know if he's crying of sadness or out of relief.

After a few moments of nothing but his shaky breaths and hiccupping, he gathered the strength to look at himself in the mirror.

He looked pale, paler than usual. Dark eye bags occupied the space below his eyes. His cheekbones weren't as defined as he last remembered. They actually looked quite sallow.

His stomach began to grumble. He hadn't been eating much if anything at all. He tried to substitute it with loads of water but sometimes it just doesn't fill you up the way food does. It's not like he hasn't actually tried to get food and eat. He knows that when he's depressed, he tends to ignore the fact that he should be eating and he knows that isn't healthy.

One day when he decided to finally go out of the room and actually eat something (not like anyone noticed), he went to the canteen and ordered a salad. It wasn't much but it was a start. As he was about to make his way to the warblers, who, back then promised to be there for him no matter what, he was stopped by all the looks they were giving him. It was filled with such pure… disgust and hatred that it made him feel sick to his stomach. Kurt unconsciously looked at himself.

When he looked back up, his heart broke more when the only person whose opinion really mattered to him stared at him through his hazel eyes. They were usually filled with so much warmth and comfort that it made him trust his whole life to its owner. Now though, they were only looking at him with an icy look that clearly stated that the other boy doesn't want anything to do with him right now. He wanted to cry. But he couldn't because it would only make him look more of a wimp in their eyes than before.

Instead, he turned around from those orbs that he'd gotten used to know and handed his salad back to the lunch lady saying, "I'm not hungry anymore, thank you" in a timid voice. And with one last glance at the table full of warblers, he turned around and walked away from the cafeteria. He hasn't tried eating ever since.

Maybe Kurt thought this would all do him good in the end. He'll be thin enough, attractive enough and boyfriend-material enough that Blaine would love him and then he'll gain more friends and maybe that'll be enough.

Maybe he'll finally be enough.

A/N: There you go! I sort of like reading these kind of stories that make me cry and stuff and I thought, "Hey! Why don't I try it?" so this is the end product. So please, tell me what you guys think? Is it worthy to become more than a one shot or should I end it here? I hope you guys like it either way though. Also, I wanted to know if you guys could suggest stuff to out in the story to make it more interesting? If you do, please tell me. I'm open to any suggestions.

And for those who's reading my other story, I'll try to update soon:)

Hope you guys find time to criticize my work via review. Love you all!