"Of Berts and Beagles"

Chapter 1

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs walked into the NCIS forensics lab with a large cup of Caf-Pow! to find his forensic expert, Abigail Scuito, searching feverishly for something. The lab looked like a stage set from a production of "The Nutcracker" with Christmas lights, tinsel and garland strung over everything, and heavy metal cover versions of classic Christmas carols blared from her stereo speakers. Gibbs smirked at the resident hanging skeleton dressed as an elf; last year it had been dressed in a very skinny Santa suit.

He observed Abby for several minutes as she rummaged through her desk and through several cabinets, flinging doors open and slamming them shut in frustration. When it looked like she was about to begin dismantling her favorite "baby", Major Mass Spec, he cleared his throat and asked, "Lose something, Abs," as he set the highly caffeinated drink on her desk.

She looked up at him with her braided pigtails askew and a frantic look on her dirt smudged face. She raced over and threw herself into his always welcoming arms. "Gibbs, I don't know what to do! It's Bert; he's missing. I think someone kidnapped him."

Gibbs pulled back from the crushing embrace and cocked his head to the side before asking, "Why would someone want to kidnap a stuffed animal, Abs?"

"I don't know, Gibbs," she whined pitifully looking like she was about to cry, "But we have to find him."

Gibbs had come to the lab to check on the results of a DNA comparison that Abby was running for him, not to search for a stuffed hippo that farted when you squeezed him. He wrapped a loving arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "I'm sure he'll turn up. Now, about the DNA results Abs?"

Abby sighed but stepped away from Gibbs to put the results of the DNA test from her computer up on the big plasma screen. "It's a match. There was blood from two different people on the knife. One is the victim's, of course, and the other matches the blood drops we found on the victim's shirt. That blood belongs to his roommate. Looks like you caught the bad guy again, Bossman," she said without her usual enthusiasm.

The team had spent the last three days tracking down leads to the murder of Navy Lieutenant Martin Fields, who was found dead in an alley outside of his apartment building. After interviewing nearly everyone in the Lieutenant's unit, they learned that he had been in an argument with his roommate, Lt. David Marks, the night he died. Apparently, Lt. Fields had been discovered by Lt. Marks coming out of a bar called Shades, a well-known popular gay bar in Georgetown that was just a few blocks from their apartment.

Lt. Marks admitted during questioning that he was upset to find out that his supposed best friend and roommate was a closet homosexual and confronted him. He told Gibbs that the two of them argued for several minutes, but that Martin was alive and well when he left him in the alley to go to another friend's apartment for the night. Marks swore that he didn't stab him. "I might have been pissed to find out he's a fag, but I didn't kill him," he declared.

However, now armed with the blood and DNA evidence, along with the corresponding cuts on Marks' hand and his fingerprints on the knife, Gibbs would be able to charge him with second degree murder and turn the case over to JAG. All that was left for him and his team to do was write up their investigation reports and turn all of the evidence and copies of their reports over to the prosecutors.

"Thanks Abs," Gibbs said as he turned to leave the lab with a printout of her results in his hand. As he reached the door he called over his shoulder, "Don't worry, we'll find Bert."

Meanwhile outside of Autopsy, Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo and ME's Assistant Jimmy Palmer were whispering to each other conspiratorially in a secluded corner of the hallway.

"You get it," Tony asked quietly as he looked around to make sure no one was watching them.

"Yes," Jimmy said nervously, "but I don't feel good about this Tony. We could end up in seriously big trouble."

Tony leveled a glare at Jimmy and said, "It will all be over in a few days, so just chillax, will 'ya? Where is it?"

"It's in a safe place. Look, I have to get back before Dr. Mallard comes looking for me," Jimmy said before turning away. He turned back and left Tony with a clear warning, "If this all blows up, you are on your own, DiNozzo."

Tony rolled his eyes at the threat and headed for the nearby elevator. He stood and whistled a Christmas tune, rocking back and forth on his feet as he impatiently waited for the elevator to arrive. He needed to get back up the bullpen fast before Gibbs came looking for him. He'd already been warned once this week about not staying focused on the investigation, and he wasn't looking forward to facing the wrath of Gibbs again if he got caught slacking off. Unfortunately, he had been looking down at his feet admiring his new Italian leather loafers when the doors opened and he ended up running right smack into Gibbs's chest. The color drained from his face and his eyes went wide at the stern look on Gibbs's face, but he managed to step into the elevator and squeak out, "Oh, hey Boss!"

Gibbs fixed what was commonly called a death glare on Tony, and with a frustrated sigh asked, "DiNozzo, am I going to have to start chaining you to your desk?" He just stared at Tony for a moment before reaching over and hitting the stop switch bringing the elevator to a shuddered halt.

"Sorry, Boss. I just had to talk to the Autopsy Gremlin about something. It's a surprise," Tony said with a smirk. Schooling his expression in an attempt to look remorseful, he mumbled softly, "Won't happen again, Boss."

Gibbs snorted before suddenly reaching out and grabbing the middle of Tony's shirt pulling him close to his body. With a hand firmly knotted in Tony's hair, Gibbs crushed his lips onto Tony's in a bruising kiss. He teased the seam of Tony's lips with his tongue requesting entrance which was instantly granted. Tony moaned as Gibbs took utter and complete possession of his mouth leaving him breathless and a bit dizzy when they eventually parted.

Tony looked at Gibbs with a goofy grin on his face and asked huskily, "And just what may I ask did I do to deserve that?"

Gibbs grinned back and stated plainly, "Just trying to get you to focus. What the hell are you and Palmer up to anyway? I know that look, and I can tell that you two are up to something." He leaned against the back wall of the elevator with his arms crossed over his chest waiting to see what kind of explanation he was going to get.

Gibbs and Tony had been seeing each other romantically for just over six months, specifically since Tony's drunken July 4th confession after the annual NCIS/FBI charity softball game.

Flashback:

Team NCIS wiped the field with the FBI winning the fiercely contested game 8-1 thanks to Gibbs's deadly pitching and Tony hitting a grand slam homerun in the bottom of the 5th inning to put the game out of reach.

Tradition had the losing team buy a couple of rounds for the winners at Mike's Tavern, a popular sports bar close to the softball field where the annual game was held. The members of Team NCIS, which also included McGee, Abby, Palmer, Dorneget, Ziva and two new probies on Agent Moretti's team, stayed for a couple of hours after Team FBI left after enduring a fair amount of razzing and settling up with the bartender.

Tony talked a mile a minute as the liquor kicked in while he broke down the game highlights. Gibbs sat next to him and watched as Tony positively glowed as he went on to praise Gibbs for his "ridiculously awesome pitching". Tony led the others in a round of applause and grinned at Gibbs when he noticed the boss blushing at the praise. One by one, or two by two in the case of McGee and Abby, the others left leaving Tony and Gibbs will a brand new pitcher of beer.

"Well, shit," Tony slurred slightly, "who's the dumbass who ordered another pitcher? I can't drink all that by m'self, Boss!"

"You ordered it, DiNozzo," Gibbs said with a chuckle, "but I'll stay and help you drink it if you like."

Tony leaned over until he was mere inches from Gibbs's face and said, "I'd really like you to stay. In fact, I really like you, Boss … Gibbs … Jethro. I mean, really like you. You know, like-like, kinda like how I like-liked Cindy Adams in the 5th grade. Man, she was really cute. Wonder what ever happened to her?"

Gibbs knew full well how loopy Tony got on painkillers, Lord knows he had witnessed that enough over the years, but he had no idea what he was like drunk. Gibbs usually begged off of team gatherings like this, and had only seen Tony drink a glass or two of champagne at official NCIS functions. He found himself at a complete loss what to do, so he fell back on the only tried and true method he knew to get Tony to shut the hell up.

"Owww, Boss!" Tony cried out after Gibbs's hand connected firmly with the back of his head. "Wha zat for?"

"DiNozzo," Gibbs said with an exasperated sigh, "do you even have a damn clue what you're saying?"

"Of course I do," Tony exclaimed. "I was saying how much I like-like you. Well, more like love you, really." Tony paused and grinned at Gibbs. Not getting a response, Tony dropped his head and said, "Oh. You don't like-like me. S'ok Boss. I get it. I guess I talk too much when I drink. Doesn't mean I don't mean it though. You know, you're really pretty hot, Gibbs! You got these amazing blue eyes, the uber-sexy silver hair, and your ass … mmmmm," Tony trailed off with a moan.

"DINOZZO," Gibbs barked. He stood abruptly and grabbed Tony's arm to pull him to his feet. "Let's go. You've obviously had more than enough to drink. Let's get you home so you can sleep it off."

Tony swayed and was saved from face planting into the table when Gibbs put a strong arm around his waist to hold him up. "Oops. Sorry Boss. Forgot to eat and too much booze. Hey, you wanna go get a pizza with me? I'll buy. You can get whatever you want on your half."

Gibbs shook his head and smiled at Tony who stood grinning at him. "Tell you what. We'll pick pizza up on the way to your apartment. Okay?"

Pizza and a Nationals game on ESPN that went into extra innings resulted in Gibbs crashing on Tony's couch for the night. The team was thankfully off the next day, and Gibbs knew that Tony would likely wake up with the mother of all hangovers. He was surprised, however, when he awoke to the sound of Tony moving around in his kitchen and whistling as he prepared breakfast. He couldn't believe when he checked his watch to see that it was only 0700.

Gibbs groaned as he stood up and stretched, his joints protesting loudly after yesterday's exertion. He massaged his right elbow, which was a little sore from pitching, as he walked into the kitchen. Tony, to his amazement, looked fresh as a daisy and showed no outward sign of having a hangover. His hair was damp so he had obviously showered. Gibbs frowned in confusion; he had been absolutely positive that Tony would be pretty much incapacitated for most of the day as he recovered.

Tony turned when he heard Gibbs come in and beamed at him as he handed him a large steaming mug of dark roast coffee. "Good morning! How do you like your eggs?"

Gibbs nodded his thanks and took a long drink before answering, "Uh, scrambled, over-medium; doesn't really matter."

"Then scrambled it is," Tony said cheerfully. "Have a seat and I'll have this ready in a few. Paper is on the table. Just leave me the sports section."

Gibbs sat as instructed and drank his coffee as he thought back to all of the things Tony had said to him at the bar. He had his suspicions about Tony having seen him covertly flirt with men on a couple of occasions, but he could never work up the nerve to ask him. Gibbs knew one thing; if Tony meant any of what he said, he was the luckiest son of a bitch on earth!

Tony brought two plates of eggs, bacon and toast to the table and poured two small glassed of orange juice. He was about to spread strawberry jam on his toast when Gibbs blurted out, "Do you remember any of what you said to me yesterday at Mike's?"

Tony carefully placed the knife on his plate and looked Gibbs dead in the eye. "Every damn word of it," he said deliberately and sincerely, "and I meant it all, too."

Gibbs just gaped at Tony for a minute until he saw regret, fear, and shame flash in his beautiful green eyes. "I didn't know you felt that way … about me." Deciding it was now or never, Gibbs reached over and grabbed Tony's hand and said tenderly, "Tony. The feeling is totally mutual."

End Flashback

"Okay, I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to get mad," Tony pleaded, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Just tell me already so we can get back to work and solve this case," Gibbs demanded impatiently as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Palmer and I, well, we kind of had to … borrow Bert for a few days. You know; Abby's farting hippo?" Tony asked with a cringe fully expecting to get head slapped.

Gibbs barked out a laugh shaking his head as he flicked the switch to send the elevator back on its way. "Well, you better have a damn good reason for taking him. Abby is practically tearing her lab apart looking for him. What's this surprise anyway," Gibbs asked.

"You promise you won't tell Abby?" Getting an affirmative nod from Gibbs, who offered his hand for the now customary "pinky swear," Tony leaned in and whispered in his ear.

At the incredulous look on Gibbs's face Tony pleaded, "Please? Come on, it's for Christmas. I couldn't think of anything else to get Abby and neither could the Gremlin, so we're going in on it together." The elevator doors opened at their floor and Gibbs just shook his head and pointed to Tony's desk in a silent command for him to get back to work.