"Tad's dead, Hayden."
Hayden closes his eyes. Once he goes, he knows the rest of them won't be far behind.
"Hayden?" a voice says. It sounds too healthy to be any of the kids in the ComBom. "Look at me, Hayden."
Hayden slowly opens his eyes. The light, the heat, the sweat all disrupt his view, but he makes out a figure of a young man standing in front of him. He squints his eyes until he is able to see a tattoo of a shark on the boy's forearm. "Connor?"
"You've already moved on?" it's not Connor speaking. Hayden suddenly remembers the voice. The voice he heard in his ear. The voice he loved to hear speak his name. It wasn't Connor.
"Roland?"
"Hi, Hayden" Roland smiles at him "I came back. For you."
"I don't want to die."
"We'll finally be together. Just like we always wanted, remember?"
He does. Hayden remembers like it was yesterday. It was before Mai had ever come to Sonia's basement. Hayden and Roland arrived on the same day. It was cold that night. Hayden ran his hand back and forth over the flame of the candle as he always did, but the small fire could not spare him from the cold. Roland sat across the room. He hadn't said a word since they met. He was wrapped in the only blanket they had that night.
Hayden shivered. He had always hated the cold. He hated it, he hated being here. He hated his parents for what they had done. Roland wrapped the blanket around Hayden's shoulders. He hadn't even noticed that Roland had gotten up.
"Is this any better?" Roland whispered into his ear. Hayden nodded, but was still chilled to the bone. Roland could tell and wrapped his arms around him too. Hayden smiled. He liked it. He didn't understand it, but it made him feel better than he had felt since his parents first started fighting. "How about that?"
"That's nice." Roland's face was close. His breath was warm on the back of Hayden's neck. "I hate this!"
Roland backed away, Hayden grabbed him and brought him back.
"Not this. I mean, the fact that I have to be here. I hate my parents for this! For the affair, for the fighting, for this death sentence!" Hayden had been surpressing this for months. It was nice to put it out there. His eyes were filled with tears. His breathing was heavy. His face was red.
It was quick. It was quick and warm and soft and perfect. Hayden felt Roland's lips touch his left cheek.
"We'll make it through this. Don't worry," Roland assured him "and when we turn eighteen, no one will be able to tell us what to do!"
Roland had held him tight all night. They shared their personal stories about why they were set for unwinding. Hayden had never told anyone this before. He'd never even told anyone that his parents were getting a divorce. They talked about their individual journeys that had lead them to Sonia's basement, and they had made a promise that they would stick together until the end.
Obviously, the promise could not be kept.
"It's time. You know it is." Roland's voice brought him back to the present. Hayden doesn't notice the other kids have begun to look at him. All he can see is a machine gun sitting next to him. It's heavy. It's loaded. He doesn't even know if he can lift it anymore, but he does, and although he's never used it, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. There's a safety, easily removed. There's a trigger. "That's it, Hayden."
Hayden looks up at Roland. His eyes are red and puffy. His face drips with sweat. He thinks about how easy it would be to empty the gun into each of the ComBom crew members around him, and go with Roland to heaven. Over the few months between the night in Sonia's basement and Roland's capture, Hayden had fallen in love. He'd never admitted it, but he knew deep down that it was true.
He looks at the suffering kids around him, wondering where "macine-gun fire" falls on the list of bad ways to die. Certainly a quick death is better than a slow one. He considers his options a moment more, then says, "I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry I failed you...but I just can't do this."
Then he turns the machine gun toward the cockpit and blasts out the windshield, flooding the ComBom with cool, fresh air. And with it, Roland slips out of sight.