Author's Note: Hey y'all. I'm sorry it has been so stinkin' long since you've heard from me. I broke a bone at the base of my thumb in my wrist back in May and it has been interesting. My thumb is still immobilized so typing is… difficult to say the least, at least for me. Anyway, I wasn't sure if I was going to continue this but inspiration struck. I hope y'all enjoy! Oh and I'm not sure if Mudgie is actually Dave's dog's name. It's sticking out in my mind but I'm not sure if it's just the name everyone uses in fanfictions. If it's not the credit goes to whomever first used it!

Chapter 3

Spencer Reid stood, fidgeting slightly, outside of Hotch's office door. It was almost two weeks after the New Year and he finally decided it was time to talk to his boss. He took a deep breath and knocked on the closed door.

"Come in," Hotch called out.

Spencer reached out with a shaky hand and opened the door. He entered the familiar office, closing the door behind him. The older man looked surprised for a second before carefully schooling his expression.

"What can I do for you Reid?" Hotch asked as he set his pen down.

Reid hesitated, took a deep breath then asked in a rush "do you have some time to talk?"

The older man drew his dark eyebrows together in concern as he spoke with his quiet authority.

"Why don't you have a seat, Reid, and we can discuss whatever it is you need to."

Reid nodded his head, long hair falling into his brown eyes only to be pushed back by long fingers as he took a seat. The young man fiddled with his pant leg for several long moments as Hotch watched him patiently. He finally took a deep breath then started talking in a very soft voice.

"I-I've been… Struggling, uh, for a while now. Nightmares…" Spencer paused, darting at quick look up at Hotch, who was watching him with growing concern. "I… Hotch, I'm afraid I'm starting to burn out. I-I was so young when I started working here…"

The older man leaned across his desk slightly before standing and coming around it to take a seat beside the younger man.

"Okay," Hotch said soothingly. "Take a breath and talk to me."

Spencer followed his instructions, gathering his thoughts, before he started again.

"I've been having nightmares again. I know, nothing unusual in our line of work, but these are worse than my usual. But most nights I don't sleep, at all. I just can't. I go sometimes a week before I give in and take a sleeping pill, I hate doing that… I'm tired Hotch," Spencer finally admitted, locking eyes with the older man's compassionate ones. "I'm so tired. And I don't want to go out the same way as Gideon did. But I'm terrified that that's where I'm heading. Hotch," Spencer finally whispered brokenly. "I don't know if I can do this anymore; I don't know that I want to."

Aaron Hotchner sat there, shocked, for several seconds before he leaned forward and gently grasped Spencer's wrist. He gave it a firm squeeze before letting go and sitting back.

"Okay," he replied quietly. "Do you think you need some time off? You have a lot on the books to take. Get away for a while, decompress."

"I want to start there, if I can," Spencer confessed. "I don't want to leave the BAU. You guys… Our jobs are important. What we do, we make a difference-"

"Okay," Hotch broke in. "How about three weeks to start with. If you need more, you have a lot of accumulated time."

Spencer let out the breath he had been holding.

"I really don't want to leave the BAU, Hotch," Spencer confessed softly.

"You're not going anywhere," Hotch confirmed. "Not until you decide to. Do you want to start your time off today?"

"Can I start tomorrow? I have some paperwork I'd like to get completed before I leave,"

Hotch nodded as he stood up. Spencer followed his lead and got to his feet.

"If you need anything, you call me, understand?" The older man asked dark eyes intent.

Spencer nodded as he looked up at his superior through his bangs.

"Thank you," Spencer whispered as he made his way out of the office.

Reid went straight to the break room to get a cup of coffee. The room was blissfully empty allowing him to make his coffee to his liking in peace. He ambled over to his desk, glancing around the bullpen, taking in the empty desks. It was too early for the rest of the team to be in yet. He shot a look up to Dave's office and saw the man sitting behind his desk through the window. Reid settled in behind his desk as he started going through his files, organizing them into a pile to complete. Reid let out a weary sigh as he started trolling through the mess these monsters left behind. He barely responded when the rest of the team trickled in almost a hour later.

It was almost eleven thirty when Spencer finally took a break from his paperwork. He sat upright, cracking his lower back, then leaned back in his chair. Morgan was leaning against Prentiss's desk, chatting easily with the brunette.

"Hey Pretty Boy," Morgan greeted with a smile. "It's about time you took a break. You're even more focused than you usually are. What's up?"

"Nothing," Reid replied as he played with his mug. "Just trying to get my paperwork done. You know how it can multiply if not taken care of right away. I need more coffee."

Spencer picked up his mug and made his way back into the break room. He got himself a second cup of coffee then made his way up to Dave's office. He knocked on the doorframe twice before making his way inside the room. He gently closed the door behind him as the older man studied him.

"You wanna tell me how it went with Aaron this morning?" Dave inquired as he settled himself more comfortably in his desk chair.

Spencer sat in front of the man's desk, waiting patiently as his pseudo father studied him.

"Well?" Dave prompted when Spencer didn't reply.

"It went about as well as could be expected. He was very understanding and concerned. I'm surprised he hasn't been in to see you. I have three weeks off with the option of having more if I need or want it. I love my job, as strange or messed up as that sounds, but I do and I love the people we work with. You guys are family. I don't want to lose them. I'm so afraid that if I can't do this job anymore I'll lose them." Spencer explained haltingly.

Dave leveled a look at the young man he considered his son as he rebutted firmly.

"You will never lose this team. They love you and you love them. That counts for a lot with this group. You know that. Right now you need to take care of you and let me take care of you."

Spencer shot Dave a mock angry look.

"You aren't getting rid of me Kiddo."

"Who ever said I wanted to?" Spencer shot back quietly.

Dave gave him a smile that Spencer returned whole heartedly. Spencer allowed himself to relax back against the chair, rolling his mug between his palms. They sat in comfortable silence for almost five minutes, just taking comfort in each other.

"I'm thinking about ordering Chinese for everyone for lunch and telling them that I'm taking some time off. You don't think Hotch will object do you? I didn't think of that until I left his office," Spencer mused out loud.

Rossi nodded. "Yeah, I think that's a good idea. I don't think Aaron would mind: as long as we don't end up with a case in the next twenty minutes."

"I'll just get everyone's regular orders, that should be good enough," Spencer commented.

"I'm sure that'll be fine. You know they are going to want to know why you are taking some time off. What are you going to tell them?" Rossi replied.

"I've thought about what I am going to say. I am in the final stages of my thesis. I can tell them I'm taking that time to write it. None of them know that I am even at the thesis stage."

"That should work," Dave stated. "You should order lunch soon. Oh and if you have time tonight I need you to come home for a bit. There is something we need to talk about, nothing bad."

Spencer studied the older man, trying to read his expression, but was unable to find anything helpful. Spencer nodded while he pushed himself to his feet. "Okay. I'll come by tonight, right from the office."

"Good, we can have some dinner as we talk," Rossi said then waved him out of his office.

Reid left Dave's office with a slight shake of his head at the older man, amused despite himself. Spencer settled into an office chair around the round table in their meeting room to place their lunch orders. With his task done Spencer made his way back to Hotch's office. He rapped his knuckles on the door and entered when he heard the older man called out.

"Hey Hotch," Spencer said as he walked into the room.

"Reid," the older man asked, surprised. "What can I do for you?"

"I uh, ordered Chinese for everyone. I'd like to gather the team for lunch and to tell them that I'm taking some vacation time. I think they deserve to hear it from me. I would also like to tell them all together… Call me a coward but it will be easier for me," Spencer confessed quietly.

"That will be fine. We don't have anything pressing demanding our attention. I think it'll be fine to take an hour or so and have lunch together," the older man stated.

"Thank you Hotch. I'm sorry, I know I should have cleared it with you first,"

"Spencer, it's fine. I understand. It isn't like we don't have the down time today. Do you need anything else? If not I should get try to get this paperwork done before lunch." Hotch replied.

"Of course; I need to be down in the bullpen to get the delivery. Thanks again, Hotch."

Spencer walked over to his desk and resettled behind it, ignoring the questioning looks being sent his way. He turned his attention to another case file, managing to complete it just as a delivery boy was escorted into the room.

"Agent Reid," the Agent with him called out.

Spencer stood up, pulling out his wallet as he made his way over to the pair. He offered the teen a generous tip after he confirmed that he paid when he called. Spencer took the bags then headed up to the round table room calling over his shoulder "will you gather everyone together in the round table room?"

Reid was sitting everything out on the table when the rest of the team wandered in.

"I got everyone their usual," Reid announced as he studiously ignored the questioning looks most of the team was sending him.

"Spence," JJ started. "What's going on?"

Spencer picked up his order then made a show of settling into a chair and opening his container. Dave and Hotch followed Reid's lead, forcing the others to do the same. As his family settled into their meals Spencer ran his gaze over them, measuring each, trying to figure out how each was feeling. Morgan was sitting across from him, wearing his usual casual attire. So far he was ignoring his lunch and studying him instead. Spencer gave him a small smile. Morgan just raised an eyebrow in return. Beside him Emily was digging through her carton of noodles with chopsticks. JJ was sitting beside her, mixing her chicken and vegetables with her rice. She was dressed sharply in a blue blouse, black trousers and low heels. Their relationship has been strained for a while now. Part of him mourned the loss of the closeness with his "big sister" but another part of him, the bigger part, was still angry. With a mental shake of his head, Spencer turned his attention onto Garcia. She was dressed as outlandishly as usual, her bubbly personality shining through. She was picking through her own lunch, digging out her shrimp. He finally turned his attention on to Hotch and Dave who both offered silent encouragement and support.

"There is a reason I got lunch for everyone. I wanted you to hear from me. I'm taking some time off. I'm taking three weeks with the possibility of more time. For the most part I'll be unviable. I just wanted to give you guys some warning." Spencer announced before he started eating his own lunch.

Morgan leveled a look at him as he set his chopsticks down.

"What are you talking about Pretty Boy? Why are you taking so much time off?"

"I have a lot of time on the books that Human Resources has been emailing me about. I need to use some of it before I lose it," Spencer replied calmly.

Spencer held Derek's gaze unflinchingly. He tried not to fidget as their stare-off dragged on. Spencer was vaguely aware of the women of the team taking notice of what was going on. Morgan finally looked away, down to the table and then back up.

"You and I need to talk Kid," Morgan said softly.

"I should be home by eight thirty or so tonight. Feel free to come over. We can talk about whatever you feel like we need to," Spencer replied easily.

"So," Garcia broke in cheerfully. "What are you going to do with your time off Boy Wonder?"

"I am going to use the time to work on my thesis," Reid replied after taking a bite of his lunch.

"I didn't realize you were that far along," JJ commented idly.

"Yes. I'm just about done," Spencer replied.

Garcia smiled at him brightly.

"I'm so proud of you one eighty seven!"

"Thank you Garcia," Reid offered with a smile.

"You're welcome Reid! I want to be at your graduation," Garcia replied.

Reid just nodded his head and went back to his lunch. He smiled as the team diverged into their own conversations. He finally allowed himself to relax, believing that eventually everything might work out.

Several hours later Reid shut down his computer and tided up his desk. He didn't have a lot of personal items on or in his desk but the few he had fit easily into his go bag and satchel. He pushed away from his desk and looked around the room. He was filled with sadness knowing it would be a long time before he saw the place again. It was his home away from home. He looked over his shoulder as he felt someone come up behind him.

"Hi Dave," he greeted softly.

"Hey Kiddo," he returned as he placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "You ready to go home?"

"Yes," Reid nodded. "Let's go home."

After an uneventful ride the two men made their way into the mansion. Mudgie trotted out to greet them. Spencer and Dave were both happy and relieved that the Reid effect didn't seem to apply to Mudgie. Spencer patted the dog on the head as he made his way toward the kitchen with Dave. Reid settled his bags on a chair then sat in another one himself while Dave puttered around the kitchen, starting preparations for their dinner.

"What do you want me to do?" Spencer asked.

"How does ravioli in meat sauce with a salad sound?" Dave asked.

"That sounds good," Spencer replied happily. "Great actually."

"Okay then do you want to make the ravioli or work on the salad?" Dave enquired.

Spencer thought about it for a second before replying thoughtfully "I don't know if I can make the ravioli so I guess I'll make the salad."

"If you want we can make the ravioli together. I can walk you through the process. It's pretty simple. Then you will have another dish you can make." The older man encouraged.

They spent the next hour making dough, stuffing it, boiling it then placing it in the simmering meat sauce. They chopped up lettuce, tomato, carrots, peppers and some red onions. Spencer mixed up a Red Wine Vinaigrette and tossed the salad. Spencer set the table while Dave carried the serving bowls to the table. They settled in to have their dinner, conversation flowing comfortably, easily, between them. They had both made their way through the salad before Dave cleared his throat. Spencer looked up at him, knowing that the conversation was about to take a more serious turn.

"I have some time off during your three weeks. I already had it on the books. How would you feel about meeting my family?" Rossi asked after he took a sip of his red wine.

Spencer finished chewing his mouthful of salad thoughtfully, giving himself time to think. They had discussed him meeting the Rossi clan before so he wasn't caught completely caught off guard.

"I would love to meet your family," Spencer said with a soft smile. "You've told me so much about them, it would be great to meet them. Are you sure they want to meet me?"

"Of course they do!" Rossi exclaimed. "I have told them as much about you as I've told you about them. They are so excited. Ben, Dan and my parents really are."

Spencer smiled slight, pleased that the family of the man he thought so much of were honestly looking forward to meeting him.

"So when do you have off?" Spencer asked easily.

Rossi smiled at him as he started on his ravioli, encouraging Spencer to eat his own with a look, and answered.

"Five days from now is the start of my time off. That'll give you time to sort out whatever you need to and then we can spend a week with my family. I'll get a suite at a hotel, that way when it gets to be too much for you we can take a break. My family can be a bit much to deal with a first. They can be a loud bunch," Rossi explained.

Spencer nodded along as he was talking.

"I think I should be able to handle them. They love you and that counts for a lot," Spencer replied with a smile.

Rossi smiled at him softly, touched.

They spent the rest of dinner talking about what they could do in New York. Dave wanted to take him on a tour of at least one of the wineries when he found out he had never been to one. They talked about going to an art gallery and a museum.

"I want to take you to places you haven't been before," Dave confessed. "I want this to be a bit of a vacation for you too. And I don't want to share you with them all week."

Spencer offered him a slightly shy smile. Dave laughed warmly and reached out brushed his bangs off his forehead.

It was eight thirty when Reid made his way home. He was surprised he didn't see Morgan's car yet but figured it was only a matter of time. He wasn't good at waiting when he wanted something, particularly answers. Spencer was touched that the older man, a man he considered something of an older brother and best friend all rolled into one. Spencer pulled his car into the garage, after one last automatic glance around. He closed the garage door, watching it hit the concrete floor, before making his way into his house. He went into his kitchen to start the coffee and throw a few beers into the freezer from the case beside the fridge to cool them off quickly. He mentally debated whether he wanted a glass of scotch but decided that with the glass and a half of wine he had at dinner he didn't need any more alcohol. He would stick with coffee and maybe a can of ginger ale. He left the kitchen for his bedroom. Spencer changed quickly from his dress pants and long sleeved button up shirt into a comfortable pair of black cotton pants and a white short sleeved shirt with a hoodie that had Marines printed on it that he had borrowed from Dave. He knew the older man knew he had it and he knew that even without his eidetic memory he would always remember the look of pride on Dave's face when he told him he was going to liberate it.

Reid made his way back down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. He doctored it the way he liked it then made his way into the living room to start a fire in the grate. He was shocked at how quickly he had fallen in love with it at Dave's place and so he was thrilled with his cottage boasted one of its own. It was beautifully handcrafted too. He had fallen in love with it on sight. He lowered himself onto the sofa slowly and carefully so he wouldn't spill his coffee. He leaned his head back, trying to let the stress drain out of him. Just as he felt his shoulders start to relax there was a knock on his front door. Spencer sighed as he pushed himself to his feet to go answer the door. He looked through the little glass window to see Derek standing on his front step. He pulled the door open and greeted his friend with a warm smile.

"Hey Derek," Spencer said. "Come on in. I've got coffee, beer, a few sodas, I might have some tea and water. What would you like to drink?"

"Hey Pretty Boy," Morgan greeted happily. "How are you? I'll take a beer if you don't mind."

"Of course. Have a seat, make yourself comfortable," Spencer instructed as he headed for the kitchen.

Spencer came back into the room carrying two beers. He handed both to his friend who was settling into one of the armchairs. Reid reclaimed his previous seat on the comfortable leather sofa and picked up his mug again. Derek opened his beer and took a sip.

"How are you doing, Kid?" Morgan asked his dark eyes concerned.

Spencer took a second to consider his answer. He carefully considered his options. He could continue his lie or he could confess that he was having nightmares or his other option was to come completely clean about the nightmares and that he was considering leaving the BAU and possibly the FBI completely. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This was going to be a long and possibly painful conversation.

"I've been having a lot of trouble lately. The nightmares are horrible again. I know, we all have them, but I'm losing too much sleep. And when I can sleep it's for about a half hour at a time. I'm- I'm burning out Derek. I don't want to go out the same way as Gideon did but I'm afraid that that's what's going to happen. I'm terrified that I will lose you guys if I leave the BAU. That's why I'm taking the time off. Hotch suggested that that was the best course of action. I don't want to leave the BAU but I don't know if I can do this any longer. I'm so tired Derek. I'm so tired," Spencer babbled in a rush, beseeching his friend to understand, needing him to.

"Wow, Pretty Boy," Morgan breathed. "Why didn't you talk to me about this sooner? Kid, you can talk to me about everything. I will always be willing to listen. I might not be able to fix it but I can listen, I can be there for support. I hate that you have been going through this and I had no idea. I hate that you might have needed me and felt like you couldn't turn to me. I'm sorry Kid. I'm so sorry."

"Morgan," Spencer rebutted firmly. "I didn't tell you. That is a decision I made. You had no idea I was having trouble. How could you have?"

"I hear you Reid, I do. I just… I know. So, is there anything I can do? Are you taking the time to write your thesis?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm going to spend the first five days working on it. Then I'm going to New York with Dave to meet his family. It's time, you know?" Spencer told him with some uncertainty.

"Congratulations man! It's about time they meet their grandson and nephew," Morgan enthused.

"You really think it's not too soon? I mean… I don't. I… Are you sure?" Spencer stammered.

"Yeah, Pretty Boy, it's time. They are going to love you. How can they not?" Derek offered a comforting smile to his nervous little brother.

Spencer returned his smile tentatively, finally allowing himself to relax. He was relieved that there had been no big, emotional scene. He didn't have the energy for something like that. They spent the next two hours talking and laughing together. By the time Spencer showed Derek out the front door it was as if that little gap had never grown in their friendship.

Author's Note: Well here it is. This is the first thing I have been able to write since May so I hope it turned out okay. I'm planning a few more chapters to include the Rossi meeting. I'm not making any promises on when the next chapter will be done. My wrist is still messed up so typing is still a nightmare. Thank you all for sticking around! If ya want let me know what ya thought. Until next time be happy, be healthy, be safe,

Lynn