Chapter Thirty Seven: Oh the times they are a changin'

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

o. o. o.

The first thing Naruto noticed as the world came back into focus was his aching body.

No, it wasn't his body that was hurting. Not entirely. It was his chakra system.

"Fuuuuuuck."

Now that he held the chakra of seven Bijuu, he could feel each one of them trying to settle into his system, synchronizing yet independent all the same. If he had to make an analogy, it seemed as if each biju had injected enough power directly into him to reach a two tailed transformation.

All at the same time.

If handling just that much of Kurama's power alone when he first started his adventures sucked, this experience was simply unfair and cruel.

That said, it should be noted that such an experience would kill most humans with little exception. The fact that Naruto could compare it to waking up from a bad bender merely exemplified just how absurd his constitution was in general.

"He's waking up! It worked!"

"Shh. Shhh shhh shh. Quiet. Loud noises. Bad." The blonde croaked with his dry mouth as coherent thoughts started to form in his aching head. He was probably in a hospital given by how blindingly white everything looked. He made a personal vow to find whoever made the rule that hospital rooms had to be this bright and kill them with a justified, sufficiently violent vengeance.

Without looking, he could feel three people in the room with him and several more outside his room. Beyond that…

Naruto shivered as he detected an ever growing number of individuals gathering and approaching his location. The young ninja did not hold hope that he had nothing to do with this. He was not that fortunate.

"Naruto. Are you okay? Can you hear me?" A familiar and comforting voice asked from his side.

"Nnngh." He muttered, bringing a heavy arm to his face to rub the exhaustion from his eyes.

He would have said more, but his dry mouth and throat made him cough.

"He's been out for a while. He needs water." Another voice spoke up, making him frown. It was familiar, but at the same time he couldn't identify the person in question.

"Wait." He croaked, causing his guests to pause. With an afterthought, he condensed the ambient water in the air into a floating ball the size of his fist, before guiding it slowly into his mouth. It was one of the few straight up water techniques he could do with little issue, and primarily because he got used to being in situations like this in the first place.

"Naruto, you're supposed to be resting. You know you're not allowed to use jutsu in the hospital." Hinata, definitely Hinata, chided him as he rinsed and moistened his mouth before swallowing.

"Chakra control. Not jutsu." He grimaced. Accumulated water from the air always had a messed up aftertaste, especially in hospitals.

Blinking again, his eyes had adapted enough that he could finally make sense out his surroundings. To his left was Hinata, looking at him as if he was the only thing that mattered in the world, smiling and crying and everything. Damn it. He still wasn't used to being looked at with that much genuine affection, especially in his current addled state.

Near the foot of his bed was Shion, who was giving him a similar look, but it was marred by something less savory. Nothing malicious, but if he had to guess it looked like she was guilty about something. He'd have to talk to her about it later.

And to his right was… his mom with glasses?

"The hell?" He blinked in confusion before making an internal check to see, nope, Kushina was still out cold inside his system, her essence tainted by the chakra of seven Biju. He could see that his father was right next to her, ensuring that she was recovering properly.

Upon a closer look, he could see several distinct differences between the newcomer and his mother.

"Naruto. I know this might be a bit much given you just woke up, but this is Karin Uzumaki. She's your cousin." Hinata tried to break the ice the moment she saw his confusion.

Hello world. Nice to see you still try drive me insane while I've been unconscious from having almost gone mad. Good show. Full points.

So Sasuke's post timeskip stalker was a distant cousin. Glad to know that he wasn't the only person in the family that was naturally lacking in decision making. "… Oh. Makes sense. For a sec I was wondering why mom was suddenly flat."

"THE HELL YOU'RE CALLING FLAT?!" Karin was sorely tempted not to deck her cousin for running his mouth, but years of experience dealing with the assholes she treated in Kusa stayed her fist. She did, however, shake it in a significantly threatening manner.

"You. You're flat. And you look like mom. Which is why I'm not doubting we're related. Calm down." Naruto grimaced as the shouting echoed through his skull. With a quick adjustment of the chakra that was as natural to him as moving a hand, he altered the air in the room.

Karin noticed instantly and looked around with concern. "What was that? You just did something to the room."

"Volume damper. Loud bad." Naruto grumbled like a cave man as he looked at her curiously. "Not that I don't appreciate a surprise family reunion, but why are you in here? Like, at all?"

"Karin-san has some complex reasons for being in Konoha. We can talk about that later when you're better. As for why she's here now, well, she some unique healing skills." Shion explained. "By herself we didn't believe she'd be able to help you recover, but when Hinata suggested she join in with her own abilities…"

"Pinpoint chakra stabilization therapy. Got it." He immediately got the idea Shion was aiming for. "Explains why my system still feels off."

"Off?" Hinata's smile dropped slightly. "Is something wrong? Did we miss something?"

That's one way of putting it. "Not you. It's the chakra I absorbed. Imagine bulking up overnight while sleeping on your arm. But with chakra."

His entire system felt different after waking up. Too much chakra. Too much power. Not enough control, release, or flexibility. The only thing his body had done right was to adapt to the power somewhat, so that he wasn't in constant pain simply by existing right now. It was going to take Naruto weeks, if not months, to fully adapt to the new power he currently wielded.

"I'll make sure that Tsunade-sama knows," Hinata nodded with complete seriousness.

Naruto breathed out slowly and looked out the nearby window. He really wanted nothing more than to relax, but too many things were itching at the back of his mind to allow him any reprieve. With each passing moment, he grew more lucid, clear headed, and aware of how many things he was going to have to deal with in the near future.

Near the top of the list would no doubt be the growing crowd he could feel at the front of the building. On the one hand, it felt surprisingly good to warrant so much positive attention from his people like this. On the other hand, he wasn't exactly that good with crowds anymore.

"How long was I out?"

"About a month."

Oof. A month of inaction? Getting his body back into top condition was going to suck hard.

Ah. Wait. He used Law again. Last time he did that he was out for three months. One month in comparison isn't that bad.

"Mmmm." He tilted his head left and right, loosening his muscles and getting his blood flowing to his skull. Now that he thought about it, that annoying haze that seemed to always be twisting his thoughts was gone now. He could think more clearly than he had in what felt like years, even in his current state. Waltz definitely knew his stuff, and deserved a gift for helping him out. Hell, that lingering essence of the Shinigami that blasted off half his head a few years back was barely there any…

… Aw hell. Of course. With the seal blocking Kurama's chakra and Sage mode gone, he could FINALLY remember that stint he pulled in that alternate ominverse with all those other versions of himself and the people around him. And all that bullshit involving the world tree and the sage and all that mess. Just when all that information had been rendered near useless. Fucking fantastic.

Screw it. Those guys weren't important. He could bitch about it all later. There were other things to worry about.

"Naruto? Is something wrong?" Shion asked, confused by his sudden actions.

"What to do, what to do…" He muttered. He knew Waltz had a thing for weed, but the guy's own homegrown strains had a tendency to be top shelf quality on the interdimensional collectors market, so that was out. As the sane member of the Family, he wasn't as easy to please as the others either.

Maybe take over Crypt duty for a day or two… haha no. No, he wasn't THAT grateful. Or desperate. Or batshit insane.

Yet.

"Brat. Best keep your head in reality for the time being." Kurama's voice shook the room, drawing everyone's attention to the far corner where a small two tailed fox was curled up. "Thinking hard in your current state will make your head explode."

"Eh?!" Karin pointed to the monster in genuine surprise. "You!? But!? Just before when the room was-! You were-! How?!"

"Yo. Kurama." Naruto waved halfheartedly, not surprised by the monster's appearance in the slightest. "How you holding up? Nobody gave you too much of a hard time I hope."

"Idiot. Stop playing ignorant. You know what your body does to your surroundings when you're recovering from severe injuries." The fox snorted before opening an eye. "The only difference this time is that I was forced to endlessly explain and repeat the same nonsense to the Hokage over the past month. It was extremely grating trying to establish to that woman the bare basics of your influence on the local enclosed space."

"Hah. That so? Sorry. I'll make it up to you later." Naruto smiled weakly. He had a feeling he was going to be in as much debt as Ghost by the time he left this damn room. "Anything that I should know?"

"I haven't killed any fleshbag that was deemed important while you were asleep. Or at least, I don't think I have."

"Sweet."

"Why do you sound like you have done such a thing in the past?" Karin asked warily before turning to Naruto. "And why are you so blasé about that thing killing people when it was sealed in you to stop it from rampaging in the first place?"

"You haven't been here long, have you?" Naruto deadpanned.

"Karin, remember what I told you about asking loaded questions like that?" Hinata chided gently. "For everyone's sake, it's best to ignore that line of thought whenever Naruto's involved."

"Don't worry. I'm still getting used to it too." Shion smiled with a hint of pity. "It's a bit much at first, but it's easier than you'd think."

The priestess had the experience of a lifetime of sacrificing dozens, if not hundreds of people to save herself via literal knee jerk reaction timetravel, followed by one massive trip spawned by interdimensional gods. As far as non-shinobi went, she was surprisingly well suited for adapting to this sort of thing.

"So this is what sensei was talking about when he warned me about how screwed up the people here were."

"For the life of me, I can't argue against his advice," Hinata admitted with a hint of reluctance. "Fair warning, those that spend time with Naruto in particular tend to be the most eccentric."

Karin looked at Hinata skeptically, as though remembering something incredibly important. "Didn't the Hokage say you stalk him earlier?"

Naruto gave her a very dry stare. Says the one that looked like she could give Hinata a run for her money in the previous timeline when Sasuke was involved. I'm calling bullshit if says she wasn't sneaking off and smelling his underwear while everything was going down… and now I must plan for that exact thing to happen in this timeline for my own petty amusement.

"Eccentricity takes various forms." Hinata had the decency to try and avoid eye contact.

"I'm starting to regret my decision to move here," Karin groaned.

And once the pawns have moved properly into place, the angry mobs have been set ablaze, the Sakura properly restrained to not murder me, and the underwear has been planted onto the subject's glasses, I can move to phase thr- wait back up. "Move here?" Naruto frowned, clearly confused.

"Politics and personal safety." Karin summed up her situation. "I used to live in Kusa."

"Sort of following…" Naruto's knowledge on geopolitics was a bit rusty outside of the five main countries, save for a few select smaller ones.

"She's an Uzumaki and Kusa treats any families that haven't lived in its borders for less than three generations as undesirables," Hinata explained the matter in a single sentence.

"Then how…"

"My sensei's Sleeper Kuma."

"Ooooh. The big chill guy from Kusa. Okay." Naruto nodded, finally getting the story. "He doing all right? I haven't seen him in a while."

"He'll manage. Your sensei Kakashi and the Hokage set him up with something so we wouldn't get in too much trouble," Karin shrugged. She didn't know the details, but given the situation it was probably for the best. "That, and I'll be 'spying' on you for the next year or so to keep up appearances."

"Makes sense." Naruto's body kept shifting uncomfortably.

"Is something the matter?" Shion asked concerned.

"I just woke up from a month long nap. My body's cramped like hell. Medical massages and inhuman regeneration can only do so much against prolonged inactivity. Only real guaranteed way to hold something like that off are things that mimic temporal stasis." Naruto grimaced as he began rolling his shoulders and flexing his fingers to get his blood flowing. True, he was still probably faring better than most in his position, but he was still in far from ideal condition.

"Should we get Tsunade-sama?" Hinata asked concerned. Without any effort, she activated her Byakugan to inspect his body in greater detail. "Now that you're awake, I can see that your chakra is flowing oddly."

"I can feel it too," Karin frowned. "Your reserves are absurd. I've never felt anyone with as much chakra as you do. I'm not an expert when it comes to Jinchuriki, so I might be wrong. But, something's not quite right with your system. It's not bad, but it's not normal either."

Naruto's eyebrow twitched. He had hoped that he'd have more time to examine his condition before anyone else could peg that something was amiss. "Give me a bit to adjust, will you? Like I said, I just got up. Let me meditate a bit before throwing me under a scalpel."

"You? Meditate?" Karin looked at him skeptically.

"Believe it or not, Naruto's actually a Sage," Hinata elaborated on that part. "He was taught by the toads of Myobokuzan and everything. He's one of the few humans alive that can use Natural energy."

"Natural energy? Wait, you're a Sage? You can actually work with that stuff without killing yourself?" Karin balked.

"You actually know what it is?" Naruto matched her expression.

"I-In passing. Sensei has a summoning contract and Natural energy came up in conversation when they were learning about how sensitive my abilities are." The Uzumaki blushed and shifted her glasses. "Most summon species have at least one or two elders that have experience with weaving large amounts of Natural Energy, but from what I know, only a handful have ever been willing to bestow the knowledge and training needed to be a sage to humans… wait. Hold on. If you're a Sage, why the hell didn't you use any Sage Arts during that fight!? If what I've been told is true, you should have been able to waste those monsters with the boost!"

Naruto groaned and flopped his head back onto his bed. "Because Ero-Nii is an asshole. When I returned from training with him, he slapped a seal on me that stopped me from directly using the Fox's chakra AND from using Sage mode because he thought I had gotten too strong. That seal he broke off at the end of the fight was actually it, so I can use it now if I want. If I want to turn to stone that is with the way my system's acting up. Hence the meditation."

"Oh, so that's what that seal was." Shion hummed in deep thought.

"It was a blasted annoyance. From my perspective, it was akin to a giant fence obnoxiously located around where I dwelled." Kurama grumbled. "I could enter and leave whenever I wished, but the bulk of my power was directly isolated from the idiot." It made him feel more cramped than usual inside Naruto, which is why he had made it a habit of spending more time than normal outside. Now that it was gone though, he could finally stretch as much as he wanted again inside his private little den.

"But it's better now, right?" Hinata probed.

"As good as it can get given the circumstances." Naruto began shifting about uncomfortably again. "Gonna take a while to regain halfway decent chakra control though. I feel like I'm waking up from a bender and I can still tell that I have my work cut out for me."

"If it's that bad I think it might be best to get Tsunade-sama in here." Shion looked at the other girls for support. "I don't know much about chakra compared to the rest of you, but even I can tell that Naruto's reserves are unnaturally large. If something's wrong with what he has, I wouldn't want to take any chances."

"She has a point," Karin shrugged halfheartedly. "Plus, I need to get out of this room and get some fresh air before I go mad. No offence, but I feel like I'm suffocating in chakra in here."

"Next time open a window," Naruto deadpanned.

Karin matched his dry expression with her own. "I can't, jackass. You have ANBU all over the place. I'd be put down as an assailant just for reaching to touch the glass."

Naruto rolled his eyes and looked at some parts of the room that were seemingly vacant. "Really guys? I have a freaking Biju in here that practically sterilizes the room just by existing, and you're worried about someone cracking the window open?"

If he expected a response, he didn't get one.

"Figures." He grumbled before lifting up a hand and twitching one of his fingers to the side. Almost immediately, one of the windows to his room unlocked slid a quarter of the way open, prompting a fresh breeze to flow inside. "This better?"

"A bit. Would have been better if the air being added wasn't also stuffed with your chakra. It's like a spin cycle of redundancy in here."

"You got kicked out of Kusa's medical program because of your shitty bedside manner, didn't you?"

"Bite me cripple."

"I'm not into incest."

Hinata could tell that these two were going to get along perfectly.

"That window thing was a cool trick. Was that telekinesis?" Shion desperately tried to change the subject.

"No. He just made the air dense enough for it to act like an extra limb and used it to open the window." Hinata shook her head. "It's a useful, if a bit difficult trick to use for most shinobi given the fine control over the wind element it requires."

"I thought you said your chakra control was shot?" Karin frowned in confusion.

"In my body its shot. In the air though, it's the same as always." Well, not exactly. His range had nearly doubled and it was going to be an absolute bitch to acclimate to it. That also meant that he had to be careful since the extra reach meant he was more liable to fuck with the local weather by accident if he didn't watch what he was doing.

Hinata watched with her eyes active as countless streams of air weaved around the room and through Naruto's fingers as though he was guiding each and every one with a careless thought. There was no other way to describe it other than ethereal and hypnotic as far as she was concerned.

"What a relief," Shion sighed happily, "At the very least you're still able to protect yourself."

"Oi."

"She meant without having to use the equivalent of a nuke to solve my problems furball," Naruto chided the fox.

"And you're not?" Said furball lifted an eyebrow skeptically. Naruto had as much chakra as a Biju at this point.

"My chakra's not practically radioactive if left alone," the human held his ground firmly. "Or do I have to remind you about that fiasco you had with Godzilla?"

"Tch."

"Godzilla? The hell's that?" Karin asked.

"Giant Biju-sized ocean lizard that shoots lasers," Naruto summed up the King of the Monsters in a single sentence. "One that happened to treat Kurama's chakra like catnip. Barely managed to get away from ground zero without getting blamed by the locals."

Especially after 'Zilla got topped off on Kurama's chakra and nuked the area. Yeah. Cleaning that mess would not have been fun.

"I still won the fight…" Kurama mumbled.

"You literally strangled him from behind with three of your tails while repeatedly ramming his head into the ground for almost an hour as revenge for him trying to eat you," Naruto deadpanned.

"He was very persistent."

"He stopped moving after the first twenty minutes."

"I was being thorough. He was very sturdy. Needed to make sure he stayed down."

"While laughing for the entire hour?"

"It had been a while since I had cut loose. I'm a giant monster. We have a tendency to enjoy doing that."

"Naruto. Didn't we have an agreement to hold back on your more soul crushing stories while in the hospital?" Hinata interrupted before the two with a gentle, and subtly terrifying smile.

"Erk." He stilled, knowing exactly what she was getting at. Tsunade had instilled a set of rules into him and the Oogakari years ago when it came to recovering in the hospital. Most of which were punishable by long, uncomfortable, and humiliating medical procedures.

"Heh."

"That includes you too Kurama-san," Hinata politely chided the fox. "While I'm not sure what we can do to you exactly, I'm certain that Hana-san could supply us with some ideas. Unless of course, you want to risk her health fighting against said options."

And piss off Ghost. Hinata's unspoken threat was left unsaid but heard clearly to all that knew better.

The Fox reacted much the same way Naruto did for a moment before glaring at his container. "Whatever has your mate irritated, I suggest you address it. One way or the other. For all our sakes."

"Do I look like I'm in any condition to perform anytime soon?"

Hinata turned a shade of red that matched Karin's hair instantly.

"You're a shinobi trained by half a dozen perverts of varying ages, sexes and skills. Figure something out you idiot."

"How the ever loving hell did the conversation go this way?" Karin balked, a blush on her own face was growing more prominent as the seconds passed.

Kurama pointed one of his tails at Hinata. "That one gets cranky if she isn't satisfied and becomes unbearable as a result."

"I do not!"

"If everyone doesn't mind, I'm just going to-" Naruto slowly prepared his body for the shock that came with an artificially induced chakra seizure, all so he could knock himself unconscious.

Unfortunately his plans were strangled in the crib, as Hinata warped to his side and struck his chest with a single jyuken strike; stealing control of his chakra system away from him.

"No." She chided firmly as if he was a child.

"Aww," he moaned like a child.

Karin blinked, as she tried to put what she sensed into context. "… Did you almost give yourself a seizure just to avoid an uncomfortable conversation?"

Naruto looked at her with a perfect poker face. "In my defense, I'm already in the hospital."

"That's it. I'm out." She threw her hands up in the air and made way for the door. "I clearly didn't prepare myself enough when I was warned how stupid you could get. Someone get me when things make more sense again."

"It's not your fault. We forgive you." The sad thing is that Naruto was being completely genuine when he said it, even if he acted like an ass at the same time.

"Naruto." Shion shook her head, already somewhat acclimated to how things were.

"Hinata, can you do a favor and introduce her to Iruka-sensei?" Naruto didn't take his eyes off of Karin as she left the room. "She looks like she'd need some of his generic words of wisdom right now."

"Iruka-sensei?" It was clear that the request had caught her off guard, but within seconds something about it had made sense to Hinata. "Are you sure Naruto? You just met her."

"I'm sure. I have a feeling that he's the kind of person she needs the most." He nodded before looking at Shion with an unreadable expression. "… How are you holding up?"

The Priestess smiled. It was a weak and forced little thing. "I'm managing. It's been better and worse than expected, though having you back in the area made things somewhat easier. I'm not allowed to see you in person that often though. Not until I completely recover."

Meaning she'd have to leave soon and keep her distance.

"Do you blame me?" He asked the question without hesitation or shame, and it impacted the girl like a gutshot.

"What? N-no! Never! How could I even try to assume you were responsible for this? If anything this is all my fault." She shook her head. "If I didn't-"

"Stop," Naruto cut her off firmly, his normal devil may care demeanor replaced with a firm disposition that wasn't going to bend anytime soon. "Shion. From my perspective, I just euthanized one of my best friends in the middle of an active battleground, AND a distant cousin that could have been the perfect key to ensuring peace in the elemental nations for the next half century at a bare minimum. I fought a man possessed by a God, and yes, you did hear a capital G just then. Along with that insane ass, I had to simultaneously take on what is apparently the progenitor of shinobi's mother, before nearly nuking a hidden village what feels like half a dozen times. I essentially turned myself into a force of nature, almost failed to turn back into a human, and topped it all up by kidnapping one of the Five Elemental nations' leader."

He breathed out slowly and looked at her with an understanding look. "Shion, compared to the long list of mistakes, decisions, and bullshit I've been through, you have nothing to feel guilty for. Ok? I said it before. The future isn't just your responsibility."

Shion didn't say anything. She was too busy holding back her tears and trying not to cry.

"Ahh. Not you too." He shook his head. "Go with Hinata to see Iruka-sensei, okay? Tell him I'll owe him. He'll get what I mean."

She nodded and sniffed, wiping her eyes. "What about you?"

Naruto smiled bitterly. It was something that didn't have a hint of his usual eccentricity. "Didn't you hear me list all the crap I pulled off? I think I can manage sitting in a hospital room for a bit."

"Haha. When you put it like that, that does make me sound a bit silly, doesn't it?" Shion smiled sadly. "We still have a good deal of things to talk about. More than either of us anticipated actually."

"Don't tempt me to run away from this place more than I already am."

"You have nothing to blame yourself for either. As insane as your ordeal was, you are probably the only person that anyone can think of that could pull through it. As far as I'm concerned, you're the most reliable person anyone could ask for. Back then and now." She giggled. She couldn't help it. "I'm glad you're awake. We missed you. All of us."

"You're all idiots then." He dryly retorted with a matching smile as she left the room.

Moments later Tsunade walked in and closed the door behind her.

The two didn't say anything for several long seconds as they stared one another down.

"… I thought we agreed no catheters while I was in here."

"That's really the first thing that comes out of your mouth after all these years? Right after those parting words so sweet that I fear for the integrity of my liver?"

"Get this thing OUT OF MY DICKHOLE WOMAN!"

It was an unspoken horror story told to any and every shinobi that fell under the Hokage's care. If Tsunade felt vindictive towards an unruly patient, she didn't use handcuffs, seals, or straps to keep them in line.

All she needed was a tiny little tube, and suddenly there were no more complaints or escape attempts.

And Naruto knew that truth personally and intimately.

And thanks to a certain open window, pretty much the whole village, and its guests, knew it too.

"GHYAAAAAAAAAAAH?!"

Just like they knew that he still screamed like a little girl under the right circumstances.

o. o. o.

"He's up?" Gaara looked at his brother as he walked through the door with a missive from their sister.

"Shouting, annoying, and everything." The Puppeteer handed over the missive.

"I told you yesterday,"Shukaku grumbled inside his host.

"I suspected, but I couldn't be too sure," the Kazekage mused as he looked at the paper.

"Suspected? You referring to some more of that Presence bullshit?" Kankuro probed.

"You're good but you aren't that good."The Biju snorted. "Not unless the jackass housing Kurama was going all out again."

"No. Not this time." Gaara didn't look up. "During the fight, when his clone appeared, he somehow took some of Shukaku's chakra. There's a faint link between us as a result. As with the rest of the Jinchuriki he connected to."

"So the other villages should know about it too." Kankuro crossed his arms. "Things are going to get messy faster now."

Gaara didn't have to ask to know what he was referring to. Ever since the disaster in Iwa, the Daimyo had been harassing him for updates in Iwa and on Naruto. The fat man had made it a habit to hint and probe, poorly, at the prospect of assassinating the latter 'just in case.'

Every. Day.

"I still say you should kill the pig. It's been a while since we both came across someone that we wanted to off for the sake of it, and not because we had to like with Akatsuki."Say what you want about the One Tail after regaining his sanity, but you couldn't deny his consistency. At the very least, he wasn't blood crazed anymore.

Now that Naruto was up, the Noble was no doubt going to bother Gaara for 'missing an ideal opportunity,' or try to convince everyone that Temari was a traitor for not seizing her chance in Konoha. Not that he would get anywhere.

"What's Chiyo-baa's progress?" Gaara asked, not wanting to bother with wasting more time or thoughts on that fool than necessary. Ever since he renewed and updated the alliance with Konoha, along with fixing that mission allocation discrepancy that the Daimyo started in the first place, Suna's dependence on their civilian landlord was at an all-time low, requiring only bare necessities like food and basic traded goods at this point. It had gotten to the point that any actions that inconvenienced Suna now in any way would guarantee a mutiny or revolt of some sort that no one could argue against.

"Another day or two." Kankuro didn't even hesitate switching gears. "She was under the assumption that we'd deliver them during the summit."

"Mmm." Gaara had been surprised when the Hokage had sent him the request. Triple that when Chiyo actually went along with it. However, he could not deny the significance of what this seemingly small project would mean to the rest of the world once word got out. It was a brilliant political relations stroke that held risks, but could easily change the game if it went off without a hitch. "What of the status of the refugees?"

This time Kankuro did pause, not bothering to hide his grimace. Just as Gaara predicted, there had been a massive influx of refugees that had run from Iwa, unable to handle the constant madness that plagued the lands. Last count was around three hundred people in a rather spacious district of Suna, but there was bound to be more. Most had been civilian, but all were scarred to the point of paranoia. It was a small miracle that they had willingly been escorted to the rival hidden village in the first place. "Same as before. Most are still borderline hysterical and suffering from Hidan's Jutsu in one form or another. Another sixteen attempted suicide last week, but we could only stop about half of them in time. When the hell is that medic from Konoha that can deal with this supposed to get here?"

"From what I understand, Hana Inuzuka should arrive either this afternoon or tomorrow. Along with Anko Mitarashi as her escort." Gaara held back a scowl that berated his slow decision making. Had he bothered to ask Tsunade for advice about the refugees sooner, so many lives could have been saved.

"Oh fuck me. The God of None's mates?"Shukaku groaned. "Are you trying to make this place a second Iwa?"

"No. And it do pay more attention, Shukaku. We've known that they were to arrive for almost a week already." Gaara chided his Biju.

"I may be more stable, but even I know that requesting my input during those dull and asinine meetings with those other humans is a terrible idea." The Takuni snorted.

Gaara grimaced, realizing that his tenant had a very valid point. Biju preferred to sleep rather than being bored, and having a cranky chakra beast in your head was not conductive when playing politics and keeping the peace.

"Those two huh?" Clearly his older brother had something on the tip of his tongue, but refrained from letting it loose at the last moment. "Think they can handle this many people?"

"Of the medics that Konoha sent to Iwa, only three know Presence. If anything, the pair sent here got the easy ordeal." The Kazekage pointed out factually.

"Lucky them."

"And we are going to make it easier." Gaara held his ground. "However many shinobi and resources they need to ensure the refugees' health, we will supply."

"Isn't that a bit much?"

"Considering the potential alternatives of angering the women of the sentient End of all Ends? Know your priorities meatsack!"

"The faster they can treat the injured, the faster we can manage if not integrate them into our village. We've not had an influx of people this large so suddenly in years, much less ones so distressed. Resources in Suna are never in abundance, and it will be easier for them to acclimate to once their personal issues are addressed. This is for our sakes as much as theirs."

"Fair enough." Kankuro relented, not liking the extra work but knowing exactly what Gaara was getting at. "So when are we leaving for Iron?"

"In a week. Given the circumstances and who is in attendance, it's been agreed upon that each Kage will have a full team accompanying them. All Jinchuriki are to attend."

"The Raikage must be pissed about that. Everyone knows he doesn't let the Hachibi out of Kumo if he can help it. What about Taki?"

"They were invited by Konoha. They deserve at least that much given the recent attack they supposedly suffered from Akatsuki." Gaara mused. If the rumors were true, then the minor village was definitely going to try and get as much as they could in order to stabilize their position. Losing the bulk of its leading members in a single go would devastate the village and country for quite some time.

"I'm more surprised they managed to keep everything together for as long as they did."

"You can probably credit the Sandaime Hokage for the feat. The Professor is one of the most accomplished diplomats in the shinobi world. Whether or not he will use the temporary position to benefit Konoha is immaterial compared to the benefits Taki will grow under his guidance." Gaara had spoken to the old leader on more than one occasion over the years, and he could confidently say that the geezer knew how to manage delicate political situations.

More importantly, the old man would be one hell of a deterrent to prevent Kumo from doing anything stupid. Konoha knew it. Taki knew it. Kumo knew it. Everyone and their mother knew it.

Especially their mothers if rumors about the Sandaime's younger years were any indication. Jiraiya got it from somewhere.

"What about the Tsuchikage and his entourage? He's staying in Konoha until the summit."

"There's going to be a joint escort. The two main routes to Iron go through either the Land of Lightning or the Land of Earth. Tsunade is going to rendezvous with the contingency from Taki and ourselves on our way through Earth to meet the rest of the Tsuchikage's escorts. We will make our delivery at that time."

"That's going to be one hell of a trip." With things as tense as they are now, it would not be surprising if issues broke out between members of the caravan. Or worse. "Do you think Chiyo-baa is up for it? She's getting up there in years. Even she can't hide the weight of time on her shoulders these days."

"My sand can more than accommodate her travelling needs should that come to pass."

Kankuro gave his brother a flat stare. "Don't let her know that too soon. You know the old bat would milk it for all its worth and flaunt it in front of everyone else endlessly the second you give in."

"Which is why I'm making sure to pack limited amounts of red bean paste for our trip, along with extra fish." It was well known between the two that the old woman hated eating fish despite her hobbies, and blackmailing her with her favorite food would only further keep her in line. After all, she had more than made it clear to them that 'frail old gems' like herself were the only ones that could truly enjoy the 'simple things,' unlike everyone else.

And yet the hag had the nerve to giggle at a picture of a topless Waltz that she had somehow snagged over the years like she was a teenage girl whenever she thought no one was looking. Or at least, whenever she pretended to think that no one was looking. In public.

"And to think everyone believes I'm the most terrifying and twisted monster in Suna."

"Just be careful not to give into her recent 'dietary requirements.' I swear the old prune makes up a new rule every time I see her now." Kankuro shivered trying to rid himself of the nightmares.

"Anything else you think I should know about?"

"Nothing important." Kankuro shook his head. "Other than rumors of what happened spreading about town picking up steam. To be honest, ever since that incident with Akatsuki, most of the civilians and lower level shinobi have gotten it into their heads that you're the strongest person on the planet and that there's nothing to worry about. Hell, some are even saying you should go to Konoha and slap around Uzumaki just to prove your superiority."

"Knowing Naruto he'd let me do it as a joke, only to make the entire event as awkward as possible for me and everyone watching."

"For the life of me, I can't imagine him not doing that." His brother sagged in defeat. He still had trouble digesting that someone so powerful could be such a complete jackass most of the time. Not a despot. Not a jerk. Not a cold and ruthless warrior. Instead he was an immature clown that shirked responsibilities, mocked others as a form of conversation, and screamed like a small child whenever someone finally lost their patience with him and gave into their violent impulses.

"Humph." Gaara allowed the edges of his mouth to curl up slightly at the thought of how such a bizarre event would take place. It would be humiliating to be sure, but he could not deny that it would be equally entertaining as well, in its own twisted way.

He put down the message and turned around to look at his village, the walls, and endless sky above as the sun began to set in the distance.

"Something on your mind?"

"Just wondering how a real fight between me and Naruto would turn out." The Kazekage looked up at the heavens, and recalling just what his friend could do with them.

"For everyone's health and wellbeing, please keep those thoughts to yourself." Judging from how pale Kankuro had gotten, the appeal of such a cataclysm was not high. Truthfully, he didn't feel comfortable being in the same country if it did take place.

"Don't worry. I'll be sure to warn you ahead of time if I allow my whims to get the better of me." The Kazekage teased his brother, playing scenario after scenario in his mind.

It had been a while since he felt like this. His younger, more impulsive self would never admit it, but he had always felt restricted, held back, even wary of his father, the previous Kazekage. The man's ability to manipulate gold dust and vast experience always held Gaara in check. Even during his more unstable phases, Rasa was a wall he couldn't simply overwhelm because their powers were too similar and their experience too asymmetrical.

And then Orochimaru killed him.

Since then Gaara's growth had been… not unimpeded, but stale. What he did was either inspired from Shukaku's repertoire, or Rasa's old playbook. Anyone that fought him had to adapt to his sand and overwhelming power…

Anyone other than Naruto that is.

… The Oogakari counted too technically, but considering them humans to begin with was nothing short of nonsense.

He wouldn't fight his friend the next time they met, but maybe a quick spar wouldn't be too greedy of a request…

o. o. o.

"Kurama. I'm giving you permission to kill anyone that wants to bug me. Again."

"Looks like I'm not hunting for snacks for a while."

"Stop that. Both of you." Tsunade chided them as they waited for ANBU to return from Ichiraku's inside a slightly more comfortable and furnished hospital room. The medic had banned Naruto from all things ramen until she gave him her seal of approval health wise; and since she didn't give said order to idiots that caused her trouble, an accord had been made.

What none of them had anticipated was the vast increase in assassination attempts on Naruto's life and sparring challenges once word got out that he was up. Even though he was heavily guarded and isolated from the rest of the village, it didn't stop people from trying to get to him no matter the cost.

Thankfully, Naruto was sensible enough to not only manage these assailants in ways that would minimize damage to the hospital, but actually leave bodies to recover and examine. Unlike Kurama.

Who ate them.

And didn't poop.

Because he's a chakra monster with chakra monster organs.

Regardless, the group were currently chatting away without a care while the latest set of would-be assailants were taken away by Tsunade's guard. This particular batch had attempted to sneak their way up to the high security patients department while disguised as doctors.

Idiots. The idea that Tsunade didn't intimately know each and every worker in this hospital was laughable.

Almost as laughable as everyone's reactions when they heard Naruto scream bloody murder a few days back from getting his catheter removed.

"I will stop once I ramen!" Naruto hissed.

"Mhm." Tsunade wasn't even going to comment on his latest bout of stupid. Compared to how bad she knew he could get, she was satisfied with just this much. "Ramen or not, I would like it if I had more of your assailants alive to interrogate. Ibiki's gotten a bit impatient with the fact that they keep on getting eaten."

"I don't share. He can get his own food."

"That's not…" Tsunade paused, contemplating on the very real possibility that the village's chief interrogator might actually use his victims as a source of personal sustenance. "Just, leave some fun for some of the others. Ok? Not everyone is sealed into an insanity magnet like Naruto, remember?"

"Fine."

A familiar rumble assaulted the room. It was not a jutsu.

"Mr. Tummy petitions that all speak of food and snacking be postponed until the divine blessing that is ramen has been delivered," Naruto stated diplomatically.

"Mr. Tummy can kindly shove it unless the debt he owes me is repaid in kind," Kurama grunted.

Naruto's stomach grumbled again.

"Mr. Tummy says that Mr. Kurama would best mind his tone, unless he wants everyone to know what…" Naruto started off strong but frowned in confusion as he relayed the message, "What he does in the back of the seal every week or so when Mom and dad are out, and we're busy with other matters? Kurama, the fuck is Mr. Tummy talking about?"

"That traitor! He swore he wouldn't say a damn thing!"

It was that at that moment that the door opened, the capital noble that had been pestering Tsunade for the past month waiting at the threshold. "Hokage-sama!"

"Oh thank god. Literally anything else." Tsunade breathed out a sigh of relief.

"I have been patient long enough!" The man sneered, walking into the room with all the false authority he believed he had. The poor idiot. "I understood that Uzumaki required additional care after waking up and would not immediately be able to greet visitors, but I draw the line at being put to the side while mere rabble are allowed access before myself!"

The 'mere rabble' he was speaking of were virtually everyone in Konoha that Naruto actually gave a damn about. Sasuke. Kakashi. The rest of his friends and teachers. Shion…

Tsunade shook her head. "Asahina-dono. While I understand your grievances, you must have at least heard tales of Naruto's temperament while you were here. The ones that were allowed to see him earlier are all familiar with his personality and run minimal risk of escalating his condition."

Konohamaru. Moegi. Udon. Ibiki. Anko. Hana. Izumo. Kotetsu…

"I was under the impression that Uzumaki was mature and capable enough to conduct a serious conversation that would dictate his future." Asahina frowned. "Or should I be concerned that one of your most celebrated and powerful shinobi is someone that cannot handle that much?"

Ichiraku. Ayame. That weird old man that lives down the street from his apartment that sells weed illegally, but whom no one arrest because he gave ANBU discounts and info. The ANBU that he referred to the old guy and enjoy said weed…

"Truthfully, I'm more concerned of the possibility of him throwing you out his window for annoying him." The Hokage deadpanned, glancing at Naruto warily only to instantly notice that he was distracted with something probably stupid at the moment. "He can be rather impulsive at times, and the terrifying thing is, it's easier to convince him to do what you want when he's like that. If he feels the need to be rational, odds are you've lost any hope of maintaining control of the conversation."

Gamakichi. Gamatatsu. Several Inuzuka hounds. Tora…

"Humph. You misunderstand me, Hokage-sama. I am not here to convince anyone of anything. I am here to issue orders."

Tsunade resisted the urge to roll her eyes. What the man considered an order was likely to be interpreted by Naruto as a self-gratifying request. She just hoped that whatever the Daimyo wanted wasn't too obnoxiously stupid, otherwise Naruto was likely going to try and grant it in the most ridiculous, petty, and horrifying way possible just to get back at everyone in the capital.

Instead, she subtly turned her eyes to the corner of the room where the Kyubi had been watching quietly, no doubt also eagerly anticipating just how badly this train would crash.

The monster gave her a questioning look.

She frowned and shook her head in rejection. No. No, the fox was not allowed to eat this one. No matter how annoying and stupid he was.

"Naruto Uzumaki."

"Eh? Wha? Oh. You're still here?" Naruto blinked and looked at the noble in confusion. He then turned to Tsunade. "He's still here?"

"He's still here," the Hokage confirmed, implying that there was a reason why the man hadn't left yet.

"Of course I'm still… tch." The man sneered before regaining composure and standing with authority. "Shinobi Naruto Uzumaki. By the authority of the Daimyo, you are ordered to travel to the Capital City and swear fealty to his greatness by summer's end."

Naruto blinked with an unreadable expression before turning to Tsunade again. "Does he know about the Kage summit?"

"Obviously I know of the summit. What of it?"

"All Jinchuriki are to attend Asahina-dono, no exceptions," the Hokage explained. "It is to take place in Iron. We are to leave within a few days, and given the severity of the situation, it is unknown when it will resolve."

The man looked down at Naruto as if the teen was nothing more than a worm. "Then go to the capital and pledge your loyalty on your way to Iron. With how quickly you run your mouth, I'm sure it would not take long."

"Sheesh, and people say I have sass," Naruto yawned. "Is that all you want? For me to say a few empty words to your boss in front of a few people to make them feel better about themselves?"

Tsunade facepalmed. She had feared that this would happen. Naruto had inherited Ghost's ability to state the truth in the worst way possible without blinking. And no, that wasn't a shot at the fact that Ghost was blind.

Asahina was equally gobsmacked, though he was more of the outraged and bewildered variety. "Y-you!? How dare you say such outlandish things?! A lowborn soldier like you has no right speaking of nobility with such a vile tone!"

"You haven't done any research about me for this job, have you?" Naruto deadpanned, not making his situation any better, even if he had a point.

"Such disrespect! You allow him to keep his tongue, Hokage?"

"It was a rhetorical question, but thanks for verifying it regardless." Naruto's expression didn't change. "Not going to lie. It really shows just how seriously the capital is taking this. Kinda disappointed."

After the shitshow that the Daimyo was supposed to have witnessed, Naruto had half expected at least a show of genuine military force or authority to make this sort of demand of him. Not some lone idiot on a power trip.

Either the nobility in the capital expected him to be a good little mindless shinobi slave and follow their demands as if they were untouchable gods, or they were trying poorly to make him do something that would probably wind up with him being arrested, declared public enemy number one, and or dead. And they'd get away with the poor attempts because, again, they believed they were untouchable gods.

Both Naruto and Tsunade took the time to enjoy the noble's confusion, as sputtered incoherent words in an attempt to regain his composure.

"Of course, I might be wrong. You might have been taking things seriously," Naruto continued. He was on a roll and he was not stopping any time soon. "You might have been trying to skirt around the ANBU to get to me for all I know. It takes real dedication to try and find blackmail material on the medical staff here."

He would know. His escape attempts from this place over the years were the stuff of legend by this point.

Hell, he was the reason why they no longer served fishballs in the cafeteria. They couldn't risk another fiasco like that again. The faculty still haven't forgiven him for that particular stunt.

"Guh?!" Dedicated the man might have been, but proficient he was not. Not only had the idiot tried to outmaneuver a staff of shinobi in broad daylight for weeks, but he had become almost a source of entertainment in the process. Naruto had been aware of the man and watched him through his Seventh Sense since he woke up.

"Don't be ridiculous Naruto." Tsunade played the devil's advocate. Poorly. "Asahina-dono was sent from the Capitol to speak on behalf of the Daimyo. I highly doubt he would be foolish enough to try something like that."

"What's the punishment for espionage here again?"

"Depends how important you are, how much you know, and how much they want you back. Could be interrogated for information. Could be held hostage. Could be executed on the spot and disappeared." Neither shinobi needed to look to know the noble's face was progressively paling as the conversation progressed.

"Sounds about right." Naruto nodded in agreement to the system set up before his eyes perked up.

A second later two ANBU appeared with bags with the Ichiraku label on them.

"Ho-" One of the two shinobi turned to address Tsunade, only to be cut off as Naruto clasped onto his shoulders with both hands and stared past the man's mask and directly into his soul.

"Don't. Blue ball me."

Wisely, the soldier lifted up the bags in surrender and allowed his package to be snatched away a second later.

"It's like dealing with an unrepentant drug addict." Tsunade shook her head as she got her own delivery at a much more sedate pace. She didn't eat ramen often, but she might as well get some when the opportunity presented itself.

"It's not a problem if I don't say it is," Naruto firmly stated as he opened his package with the flair and fanfare of uncovering a holy treasure, complete with shining light and a chorus singing in the background.

Tsunade blinked before looking at her own meal and skeptically opening it. No lights. No music. She knew it was best for her sanity that those things didn't happen, but she couldn't help but be disappointed regardless. It was for the best if she didn't ask-

"How is he doing that?" A certain clueless Noble asked.

Damn it.

The light and music coming from Naruto's ramen had doubled in intensity as the teen lifted it up to the ceiling as if it was a divine gift.

"Asahina-dono. You truly need to research those you deal with in the future."

"Why?"

Naruto was now crying tears of blood as the chorus started to have satanic undertones.

"For everyone's sake, we will gag you if you keep talking," one of the ANBU warned, fully aware of what might happen if Naruto was tempted any further than he already has.

"Naruto, eat the damn ramen before something stupid happens that will ruin it for you," Tsunade chided the brat.

"My ramen!" Naruto hissed as he curled up around his treasure.

"Me?" Asahina was clearly not paying attention to Naruto's eccentricities as much as he should have and turned on the ANBU that threatened to gag him. "Why would you assault me instead of that childish fool?!"

"Because our odds against you are far better than the childish fool that nearly destroyed Iwa several times over," one of the ANBU stated so flatly that you could hear his deadpan.

Behind them all, a certain fox coughed loudly.

"Much less the Biju that is distinctively on his side."

"I feel so loved!"

"Shut up and eat already. You're unbearable when you go into withdrawal."

"Wait, is that the Kyubi?! That tiny thing?!"

"He noticed. Will wonders never cease."

"The wonders of ramen are forever eternal, endless, and all encompassing."

"Not you, idiot."

"I am a tortured and traumatized soul! I require extensive comfort and support!"

"I thought that was what the Hyuga girl was for."

"Without underlying fear and terror!"

"Tch. You're so picky."

"Naruto, shut up and eat your ramen before it gets cold. You know the agreement. I'm not liable to compensate for any ramen lost due to your stupidity." Tsunade cut in firmly with the best weapon she had for the situation, facts that were relevant to the idiot's interests.

"Noooo!" Squealing in fear like a small girl, Naruto quickly got to work on his ambrosia.

While most everyone else in the room was accustomed to the teen's peculiar personality and priorities, a certain Noble was not.

"What, is this nonsense? Am I being ignored, for a commoner's meal?" Asahina couldn't help but gape incredulously at the disrespect he was being given.

"You really should have done your research Asahina-dono," Tsunade corrected as she started to eat. "You would have known this would happen the moment the food came in. As far as Naruto's concerned, all of us are a lower priority than his lunch."

"Research does not excuse this level of childish behavior, Hokage!" the man snarled and made way to Naruto, not at all paying any mind to the shinobi and monster that were watching him with unreadable expressions. Without any thought to his actions, he reached forward towards the primary source of his frustration. "I speak with the power of the Daimyo! As a Noble, I demand you dedicate your attention and throw away that useless slop this-?!"

The man stopped his rant mid-sentence with his hand just a half a meter away from his target.

Judging from his dilating eyes, it wasn't willingly.

There were no wires. No seals. No kunai. No tools. No Biju appendages. No one was holding him. He was simply frozen in place.

Almost instantly, the room became dead quiet. Not a sound could be heard, be it within the room or from outside. It was ominous. It was terrifying.

"Asahina-san."

It was Naruto's to do with as he wished.

Despite the fact that Naruto's tone had not changed in the slightest, and the fact that he was still focused more on his ramen than anything else, there was not a question in anyone's minds that a very critical threshold had been crossed. One that seemed to drop the temperature in the room to near freezing levels.

"It's rude to interrupt someone while they're eating."

The noble was allowed to swallow heavily.

"I have just spent the past three days swamped with examinations, interviews, experiments, paperwork, and the pain of having a catheter ripped out of my penis. All after a particularly stressful ordeal on the other side of the continent. I am tired. I am irritable. And all I want to do right now is enjoy this simple meal in my hands. One that I have been looking forward to for quite some time."

Naruto casually stirred the contents of his bowl, allowing the juices and vegetables to mix evenly in a way that looked genuinely elegant to his audience.

"I will see you when I am ready. I will see the Daimyo when I am ready. And I expect that when I have those conversations, they will be civil. Am I being unreasonable, Asahina-san?"

It took almost ten seconds for the noble to realize that he had regained full control over his body once again, and wasted no time increasing the distance between himself and the teen with a very undignified squeal.

Until he couldn't move again.

"I asked you a question, Asahina-san."

"Y-Yes! Yes of course! You're being perfectly reasonable! It's so obvious that anyone can tell!" A person could be blind and still tell just how much the poor man was trembling.

"Baa-chan. You said that we're leaving for Iron in five days, right?" Naruto's tone didn't change in the slightest as he changed his focus.

"That's right." Despite the severity of the situation, the Hokage was the only person in the room other than the Kyubi that didn't seem fazed by the unnatural setting they were trapped in. Curious certainly, but not alarmed in the slightest.

"Then I will see Asahina-san in four. Is there a problem with that?"

"We'll have to push out some visitors from your schedule, but otherwise, there's none."

"Good. Problem solved. Right, Asahina-san?"

"Y-Yes! Solved. Four days from now! We will talk then!" It wouldn't have been beyond imagination to assume that the poor man had soiled himself in fear by this point, as he desperately made his way to the door. With a heavy breathing, he ripped it open and managed to get one foot to freedom again.

Only to freeze once again.

It was like the sick twist at the end of a horror movie, where the protagonist finds out that the monster wasn't dead yet just before it kills them.

"Ah. Right. One last thing, Asahina-san." Naruto's voice seemed to haunt the man, teasing him as though his escape was only taking place because Naruto allowed it.

"Y-yes? Uzumaki-san?"

"It's nothing big. I just thought I should warn you not to harass the medical staff here anymore. I have reason to assume that several are developing particularly radical plans to correct your behavior if you don't tone it down soon. Something about fixing a dog. Keeping your hands to yourself would be a grand first step."

Tsunade frowned. Not because her staff were being sexually harassed. Everyone in the building knew how to take care of themselves should the need arise, and everyone in Konoha knew that the medics here could fuck them as hard as they were fucked if needed. No, she was irked because the Daimyo had actually sent an idiot that was stupid enough to try and get away with it as his representative.

She'd make it a point to find the victims of this fool later and give them a bonus for their patience.

Asahina's face turned from pale white to algae green in the span of a few seconds. "I see. Thank you for your advice Uzumaki-san. I will take it to heart. May I have your leave?"

"Of course." With almost an exhale of relief, the noble regained control of his body once more and quickly walked out of the building as he could without losing whatever composure he had left.

Tsunade looked back at Naruto skeptically. "You know that's going to bite you in the ass later."

"Pecking order." Naruto hummed as he sighed in bliss, finally taking his first bite of lunch and groaned in euphoric bliss.

She shook her head, knowing a lost conversation when she saw one. "That wasn't a jutsu earlier. I barely felt your Presence either. What did you do?"

"Invoked natural reaction of pure intimidation. It's like using killing intent, only without the killing intent. Tricky to pull off, and only works on things way weaker than you, but dead useful when dealing with annoying civilians without the risk of being accused of being overkill."

"Hmm. Sounds useful." Tsunade nodded in agreement as she chewed. An absent, casual flick of her off hand motioned to the ANBU in the room to leave, which was followed not even a second later. "Glad to see that you aren't so disgustingly strong that I fall into that category."

"Same." Naruto mumbled with a full mouth.

The two continued to eat in relative silence for almost two minutes before Tsunade spoke up again.

"You still fail miserably at hiding it, when something's bugging you."

"Mmm." Naruto grumbled, not turning his gaze away from his broth, clearly distracted by something.

"What's wrong brat? Fess up."

The teen frowned slightly before making a slight gesture with one of his fingers. Tsunade didn't know what it did, but she could tell that he had done something to the air around them.

"That noble reminded me of something I had always been wondering about. The guy's a civilian but he walked around acting like he had power over shinobi. Over people that could use chakra."

The Hokage already had a good idea where this conversation was going. It wouldn't be the first time someone has brought it up. "You know that we're the minority Naruto. Shinobi can't rule the world and keep ourselves from killing one another in the process. We're a notoriously self-destructive breed, at least if you ask the Oogakari."

"The Hidden Villages are a relatively young system compared to the history of shinobi as a whole. People in general tend to be idiots and cowards, Baa-chan. Even if a deal was struck with nobles to host massive villages for shinobi in exchange for military strength, I don't see politicians and power hoarders allowing such a setup in their backyards to happen without some sort of assurance on hand to prevent a coup. There's trust, and then there's being stupid."

"Well, as you can see, stupidity is pretty rampant these days," Tsunade played coy as she continued to eat.

"And would dumb luck play a part in the fact that every Hidden Village I've seen being conveniently located on top of major leylines? Or the fact that the civilian capital for their respective nations being upstream of their respective leylines?"

Tsunade stopped eating. Looking around at the ANBU hidden in the room, it was clear that they had not reacted to Naruto's words, but they certainly saw their boss freeze. The teen must have altered the air around them so their conversation couldn't be heard, or their lips read.

"… I thought as much."

Even though she lost her appetite, she resumed her meal. "You really are a headache sometimes brat."

"I take it there are strict conditions around the system's existence for both sides to prevent others from finding it or working it out." Naruto went on with his hypothesis, not denying her statement in the slightest. "Makes sense. If the nobles know that they all had instant kill switches on their respective military powers, then they must guard everything related to it with the utmost care. No. Most likely only the Daimyo and a select few know of the system is in the first place. The rest of the nobles probably are only aware that 'the Daimyo has something to keep the shinobi in line,' which is what makes them so confident in the first place when it comes to us."

In theory, if a serious war broke out, then all a shinobi village had to do was raid the civilian capitol and trigger the system. Minimal casualties for maximum effect. The fact that three wars had actually taken place and yet no one had even tried to make significant attempts at the Daimyo just that meant that the safeguards around the system were significant. Enough that even the Kage with the versatile resources of the Hidden Village under their control didn't even bother to consider exploiting it possible.

Then again, that also might be a failsafe in a twisted way. If a Hidden Village killed the Daimyo of another foreign country and the method to trigger the failsafe was lost…

Naruto stopped chewing momentarily. Clever. Very clever. He'd have to be more careful of the Daimyo when talking to them later.

"Can't say either way." Meaning the Hokage was probably under some severe restrictions that prevented her from even talking about the topic. "Out of curiosity, how did you come to this peculiar theory?"

Naruto shrugged. "Travel to enough dimensions, you learn to put checking the world's leylines on your list of things to do as soon as you can. Being a Sage makes the process easy from a high altitude, even if I was locked out of Sage Mode. Leylines are just massive flows of natural energy after all. After that, you just mix whatever you see with the basic fact that humans have a tendency of being idiots and or cowards. More so when it comes to the ones with power. Just follow that logic, throw in some general local history research, and everything tends to fall into place."

"You don't say." She had to admit, what Naruto said made sense. Too much sense. It almost embarrassed her that he came to conclusions that were considered need to know. Secrets that only a select few were aware of at all. Of course, he didn't know all the rules regarding the setup between the Daimyo and the hidden villages, but the fact that he knew of the failsafe at all was reason to be concerned. "Will this be a problem?"

"Depends on how things turn out. And how stupid the Daimyo are."

She frowned. He was planning something on an international scale right off the bat? That wasn't like him. Naruto liked to worm his way into things and build contacts first before doing anything ridiculous in order to set up a shortfall in case anything happened. "You're not starting small are you?"

"Can't. Gotta keep up the momentum. Things will fall apart if I take my time after what happened."

"Were you planning on doing whatever this is from the start?"

"Something similar. But that's out the window now. Can't try that approach even if I wanted to. Lower success rate too."

"I'm not going to like it, am I?"

"I doubt anyone is. But it's necessary, and thankfully what I have in mind is not as radical as it will first sound."

"And that is?"

Naruto didn't say anything at first, preferring to look at the slew of noodles and meat he had clumped up in his chopsticks before stuffing it all in his mouth, humming in true euphoric bliss as the taste made him cry like the small child he often portrayed himself as.

If only his mood reflected the one word that he stated a few seconds later. A single word that struck absolute terror into rulers and politician's alike when invoked in full force.

"Change."

o. o. o.

Tsunade entered her office with a huff and closed the door behind her. She didn't bother to look at Jiraiya sitting on the couch in front of her desk.

"Everyone except for the pervert out. Now."

At face value, nothing appeared to happen in her office. Neither of the Sanin were impressed.

"Naruto, I'm setting up some privacy seals. So help me if you're still spying, you're going to wish I stopped at the catheter."

This time the curtains on her windows swayed just the slightest bit before remaining stationary once more.

"Someone's cranky." Jiraiya lifted a skeptical eyebrow as the woman made some seals and ensured their privacy.

Tsunade didn't reply immediately. Instead she nearly stomped around her desk, reached down, and pulled out a bottle of some very expensive and potent alcohol.

Scratch his last comment. She was far past cranky. "I take it the kid did something again."

The Hokage's answer was in the form of taking out the top, pouring herself a very generous helping of its amber contents, and downing her serving in a single go.

He took that as a yes.

"You were right." She didn't look up as she clenched her eyes and hunched over on her desk. "You were all right."

"Sorry?"

"Naruto. He's different. Scarred. He tries to hide it like acting like he used to, but I think he's more messed up than we, the veterans, are now." She let out a bitter laugh. "And the worst part, is that he's obviously trying to hold the worst of it back for our sakes. As if being that jackass that we all complained about will make things better for us. And that he might be right about it."

Jiraiya blinked in surprise, before letting out a deep sigh. He then moved to her side of the desk to get his own glass. "You're kicking yourself for underestimating the damage done. And overestimating the kid when we let him go with Ghost."

"I've been told non-stop ever since that immortal bastard returned that something happened. That Naruto had bitten off more than he could chew. But, for fuck's sake Jiraiya, it sounds like a piss poor excuse, but hasn't that always been the case? Even before this mess, he's always been getting in disasters way over his head. Something happens. He goes in. Says something completely ridiculous. Does something even dumber that somehow works. Solves the problem. Gets better. And we all pat him on the back before he says something stupid that completely destroys the faith he's just earned."

"Only this time, he didn't get better." Jiraiya nodded. "Not completely. At least from what I've been told, Ghost tried to do the responsible thing when things went to shit for once."

"Humph. Like that makes me feel any better. The very idea of anything forcing that man to act his age fills me with terror. Not relief."

Jiraiya frowned. "Hime. What's really going on?"

"Don't try to pretend you didn't know Jiraiya!" She snapped before calming down slowly. "You were there with him in Iwa. You saw what he's like now. It's not just the way he hides his thoughts now. It's like… it's like the brat we originally met isn't even there anymore."

The Sage blinked in genuine disbelief. "You can't be serious."

Tsunade didn't look up. "Did… did we ever talk about what happened after you died? Not about Akatsuki or the war, but about us? About me and Naruto personally?"

Jiraiya stalled, completely unprepared for that sort of question. "No. No, I don't think we did, Hime. But something tells me I'm going to need to top myself off again regardless."

She chuckled in bitter amusement, doing just that. "You already know that we were devastated when Fukasaku came over with the news. Naruto was akin to a zombie before he was taken in for Sage training. I drowned myself in work. Akatsuki was coming. The world still turned. Pain came, and turned Konoha into a crater. Naruto arrived and pulled a win out of his ass like he normally did. Scratch that, he somehow convinced Nagato to revive almost everyone he killed on top of winning…"

She downed another glass of alcohol like it was water. "It was after that mess that things got bad. Danzo became Hokage while I was in a coma. The Gokage summit that was supposed to happen was a no-show outside of him and the Kazekage. We never did find out what happened to the other Kage. Things moved too fast to investigate. Smaller villages started disappearing left and right. I woke up too late to fix anything, Danzo had managed to stick his fingers in enough pies to keep more power for himself after I got up. Most of my memories of that time were focused on putting out as many fires as possible. But Naruto was desperately trying to keep the mood up with his boosted reputation and optimism. Even when it was clear that things would only get worse. And that was before Sasuke appeared with the head of the Daimyo to let us know that Akatsuki was going to attack with everything it had to obtain the Kyubi."

She looked up at Jiraiya. "He really believed it then Jiraiya. He believed that we could turn things around, even in that sorry state the world was in. That the Sasuke back then could still be turned to our side again. The confidence that turned the uncertain into reality that could lift the spirits of everyone around him…"

The Toad Sage of Myobokuzan frowned before downing half of his glass and grimacing. How Tsunade's poison burned more than the oil of his Jutsu bewildered him. "… That Naruto's gone Tsunade. I think he's been for a long time now. I'm pretty sure he knows it too, even if he tries to pretend otherwise. You heard him laugh. At the end of the fight when he had turned into that giant storm. That wasn't the chuckle of someone with hope or optimism."

No. That bitter and psychotic laugh held nothing as uplifting as hope or opportunity in it. Instead, it was more of a declaration against the world that its owner would rend apart anything and everything in order to make his intent a reality. That he had lost all patience with everything that stood in his way, and would take no prisoners and offer no more mercy.

"What happened to him Jiraiya?" She looked up at him with hazy, wet eyes. "What happened to the brat that actually gave us hope that there was something to look forward to in the world?"

He didn't say anything at first. Instead he slowly grabbed Tsunade's hands and took the half-finished glass away from her.

"I noticed it too, Tsunade," he started morosely before sampling her drink. "He's not that wide eyed brat, that couldn't tell the sharp end of a kunai from the blunt, whom we first met. He's not that fool who stubbornly won't listen to a damn word any of us will say, to go against his ninja way. These three years, Ghost did what we, Akatsuki, and Sasuke couldn't. He ground down the brat. Broke him into countless pieces."

He swirled the drink in his hand before downing the rest in a single go. "And then that bastard reforged and refined those pieces into the overpowered, overwhelming, incomparable monster we have today. Problem is that he fucked up the process by accident at the end."

"I thought you'd be angrier about it."

"Hime. I died without telling him I was his godfather or about his parents. You were in a coma. Sensei died doing nearly the bare minimum for him. Ghost fucked up, but for the life of me, he still did more for the kid's personal growth than any of us without intentionally screwing him over in the process or putting off the hard conversations because we convinced ourselves that he wasn't ready. If anything, the reason why he was so optimistic in the first place was because he was naturally too stubborn to go insane otherwise. All things considered, we were damn lucky he turned out the way he did."

Jiraiya laughed bitterly and shook his head. There was a deep, subtle anger in the chuckle that was aimed at no one but himself. "Responsibility to Konoha or not, after my long list of fuckups, I'd rather stab myself than start pointing fingers at how Naruto turned out."

"Jiraiya, it's not your-"

"Three years Tsunade." He cut her off coldly. "I was with him alone for three years. And I didn't tell him anything about his parents. Three years of me giving him random jobs and training exercises with minimal instruction before running off to do my usual bullshit. I watched him grow. I watched him risk his life. Each and every time we connected more I pushed him away because I was a fucking coward. And that was after thirteen years of doing absolutely nothing to ensure his health, his safety, or his life. Only the village's. I didn't even see him in person until the Chunin exams. And seeing that when I first saw Minato and Kushina in private they damn near beat me to death, I'm pretty damn sure that what I did was not what they expected of me when I was made his Godfather. So yes Tsunade. A good portion of how he turned out the way he did is my fault."

It wasn't often that Jiraiya took a hard stance with her. Even rarer were the times that he flat out told her she was wrong and took a tone that said that he would fight her if she tried to convince him otherwise.

"From what I've heard, outside of that Hyuga girl, not a single damn person has ever bothered to truly open up and willingly try to be an active part of his damn life before Ghost appeared. Sensei? He only stepped in when he felt he had to, and by then it was too late. The geezer might be seen as a grandfather, but a distant one that only comes around every once in a while. Iruka? Older brother figure at best. He opened up but rarely had time to spend with the kid. Someone to look for general life advice, but that's it. Kakashi? The Cyclops keeps virtually everyone at an arm's length and rarely exposes himself to anyone. His teammates? The first time around Sasuke was a psychological trainwreck that had trouble dealing with his tunnel vision, and Sakura wasn't much better. Their problems always took priority over his. And us? Don't even go there Hime."

In the end, it had been Ghost to actually put in the effort to practically raise and grow Naruto into an adult and not simply leave the kid to the wolves. Ghost had been the one to educate him. Ghost had been the one that shared countless life stories with him. Ghost had been the one that had opened up and not held back any secrets. Ghost had been the only one that Naruto had managed to forge a genuine familial bond with, and not simply landed himself into the position by convenience or accident.

Ghost had been the only one that Naruto could see as dependable, the only one that was actually around and available for him to ask for help, no matter the situation, or the time.

Everyone else was either too busy with their own problems. Their own lives. Their own duties. Or too busy depending on him for help. At the end of the day, it wouldn't be off to say that Naruto was just a guy that was stuck frequently on the outside looking in, only occasionally allowed to visit every once in a while.

Was it any surprise in the end that Ghost was the one that the orphaned and frequently alone Naruto had ultimately taken after the most after all this time?

He shook his head before pouring himself another glass and downing it faster than Tsunade could. If she wasn't so distraught and tilted herself, she would have punched him for treating her expensive stash like cheap bar swill.

"But, that said, some things still stay the same. I did learn to read him in those three years we were together. Beyond his obvious moods and tantrums. Doubt anyone other than Ghost and the Hyuga girl can pin down his thoughts as well as I can now… hmm. No. The rest of Team seven might in hindsight. But it would explain much wouldn't it? You said it yourself. Everyone had warned you that the brat had changed. They probably picked it up after the first few words were spoken."

"Get to the point Jiraiya." Tsunade sagged into her seat. "If you keep on going on like this, I'm going to assume you're just stalling till you get to the bottom of the bottle. The crystal, forty year old, extremely expensive bottle."

"Yeah yeah. I'm getting there. Hold on." The sage smiled bitterly. He reached to refill his glass before thinking better of it, pulled back, sighed, and then returned to the couch where he sat down without energy.

"When the toads called me and I saw Naruto back then, I questioned whether or not only three years had passed. That look in his eyes… well, you already saw it for yourself. Knowing Ghost, Naruto was probably put through half a dozen wars or the equivalent as a joke. I was as spooked as you were to be honest. The fact that he coped as well as he did only made things more terrifying in hindsight."

"But?" She knew there was an exception coming.

Jiraiya licked his lips, gathering his thoughts on the matter. "It took me a while to get to the point. To figure out what I wanted to ask. How to word it. Say what you want, Hime, but the kid has grown. He doesn't make stupid mistakes anymore, or at least, not out of ignorance."

"And you realized something," she concluded.

Jiraiya nodded shallowly, lifting a hand over his eyes and sighed. "… Before. Way back before. The kid wanted to be Hokage. That's all he wanted. All he knew he wanted. His stubborn streak and a bit of the fox's chakra carried him through the messes he encountered in the beginning."

"Then he started getting closer to others. Actually developing connections, half assed as they were for the most part. Finally growing up and seeing the world for what it was. He still wanted to be Hokage, but more as a means to show he was strong enough to protect those that managed to get close to him. The greater shinobi world. Politics. Connections and benefits. None of that mattered to him. How could they? No one had ever bothered to teach, warn, or expose him to all that. Then the Uchiha left, and for whatever reason, the kid was still stubborn enough to believe that the idiot could be brought back. Suddenly, his motivations were flipped, the reason for being the Hokage became more important to him than being the Hokage."

He sighed heavily. "At each step along the way, the idiot grew up just a hair by exposure, with little help from anyone around him to point out the fine details that he should be keeping watch for. At the end of the day, no matter what happened though, from his perspective everything was always fueled by the fact that he wasn't strong enough. Not to earn the people's respect. Not to be Hokage. Not to bring back the Uchiha. Not to fight off Akatsuki. Not even enough to make his own decisions."

He moved his hand from his eyes and looked at his teammate and lover.

"He's strong enough for all of that and more now, Hime. And smart enough to know what to look for without anyone's help. We saw and felt it for ourselves. We officially made him an X class shinobi, hell, for all we know he's even stronger than your grandfather and Madara combined. He could probably take on several Hidden Villages at once if he wanted to and rule the elemental nations with an iron fist. But something's still bothering him. In his mind, he's still not strong enough to deal with whatever it is he knows is around the corner. He's outgunned to the extent that he can't allow himself to hope or ignore it."

He shook his head. "Naruto's the strongest person on the planet now. And yet something out there genuinely still spooks him. And if those things are enough to worry him, with all the power and experience he has after being around Ghost, what do you think those things could do to everyone else?"

The Hokage swallowed, not even tasting the dregs of the alcohol she had tried to get drunk off of just moments earlier. "You're saying he's been distracted with figuring out how to deal with these outside factors this entire time. That there's a chance that they might appear here."

"Mmm." He didn't bother to answer the question with a genuine word. He wasn't too pleased about the idea himself. "And that gets us to the bottom line. The fact that he isn't asking us for advice given the circumstances means at least one of two things. Either he doesn't believe that we know or could do a damn thing about it, or he already has something else in mind. Something that he's still piecing together."

"Heh." Tsunade laughed bitterly. "Akatsuki and Pain were just chores to him. The real job that he's going to bitch about comes afterwards. Why am I not surprised?"

"Cause the brat's luck sucks, and this is par the course for him?"

Neither Sanin could for the life of them argue against that statement.

Either way, it didn't take them long to figure out what they needed to do. What they should have done from the start.

Twenty minutes later, the pair opened the door to Naruto's room, walked inside, closed the door, and instructed all the ANBU to leave.

Once their privacy was ensured, Tsunade sat next to the teen's side and looked at him dead in the eyes with an expression that brokered no argument.

"What do you need us to do?"

To his credit, Naruto was surprised only for a few seconds before regaining composure, letting out a bitter laugh, and began to talk.

Much to Tsunade's secret relief, this time there was a small familiar spark in the teen's eyes. It wasn't much, but it was progress.

o. o. o.

On the far side of the destruction that plagued the territory of Iwagakure, a rift in time and space bulged open.

Tons of unknown corrosive fluids poured out as though the side of a pool had been cut. The stone in the area liquefied instantly, melting under the high acidity that ate downward, deep into the mountain itself, consuming everything it came in contact with so quickly that few would ever doubt that it came from another reality…

If it had not been for the fact that it did little to stop the lone naked man desperately closing it off with his bare hands.

"Close! Close damn you!" Ghost snarled as he wrenched the two folds of reality together against the pressure of the fluids that was blasting him. "Alaya you incompetent fucking cunt! I told you to keep an eye out on that asshole demi for this exact reason!"

An otherworldly wail bubbled through the deluge of fluids from an unknown realm.

"I don't give a flying fuck if that child lied and didn't listen to you! I warned you up front several times to put down that rabid tool and you didn't listen! And now you're leaking your corrupted insides everywhere! Get your shit together woman! If you're in such a shit state that you have to ask for my help, you fucking follow my instructions! How hard is that to understand?!"

Another moan from the outside echoed through the local reality, making the ground crack and a small rockslide occur on a nearby mountain.

"Oh you saucy bitch! That's the tone you're going to take with me after going out of my way to haul your fat ass out of another one of your fuck ups!? If that's the way you want to play it, then I'm changing my tune too!"

Pulling back his right hand, Ghost manifested a plume of black fire that seemed to eat at the very space around it.

The undecipherable tunes from the unknown realms suddenly sounded far more alarmed and panicked.

"Shut up!" With a malicious heave, he unleashed his power into the rift between realities, searing time and space viciously with little care about what he was obliterating and who might be caught in the madness on the other side.

The toxic and corrosive substance that had been pouring out of the gap and eating at the area was swept away as if it didn't exist. No. After encountering the flames its true nature, it would be more accurate to say that the fluid truly didn't exist to begin with. Faint embers fell around Ghost into the recently made hole below him. Within seconds, the ground had been returned to its original dull and unmarred state.

A chorus of twisted inhuman screams cracked and rippled across the world from the rift in the air as Ghost retracted his hand.

"Suck it up." He grunted with an irritated frown. "I got rid of the corruption and your wound's sealed up. Neither of which would have happened if you had bothered to listen to me for once. You should have known better Alaya. I look human but I won't get pushed around like one of your meat sack puppets for minimal rewards. I'm your superior. If you ever try this shit again and cut corners while I'm busting my ass with all the heavy lifting, I won't stop at simply scarring several centuries' worth of your essence and history. Am I understood?!"

The malicious yet reluctant chorus was cut short as Ghost swiped at the no longer flooding gap of space time, sealing it shut instantly.

"Fucking global guardian deities! Always doing the least amount of effort to try and solve a problem and then bitching whenever it doesn't work! Lazy fucks the lot of them! They're just as bad as those useless whores Fate and Destiny!" Ghost spat in frustration, taking no immediate notice of the fact that half of his body was still decayed and eaten away. The bulk of his skin was gone, exposing his muscle tissue and good number of bones to the outside world.

With a casual wave, he was fully clothed and fully fleshed out once again, as though he hadn't suffered any injuries in the first place.

He grimaced and spat again. "Ugh. I think I actually swallowed some of that shit. I'm going to be tasting that mess for weeks. Wonderful."

For all his smiles, joking around, and overall casual demeanor, it didn't change the fact that Ghost absolutely loathed his actual job and the responsibilities it entailed. Problem was he wasn't exactly in a position where he could do anything about it.

One month. From the perspective of those in this world, this reality, he had been slaving away at sealing up all these dimensional rifts for that long.

From his perspective, he had been at it for a far, FAR longer duration.

For some people, madness was an escape. For others, it was a consequence. For him, it was a necessity.

Still, as he looked around at his surroundings, he couldn't help but finally allow himself to smile slightly.

Finally. Finally.

With a heavy sigh, he lifted his hands up into the air. "DONE! I'm finally DONE!"

Finally he could go back to Konoha and relax. Finally he could see Anko and Hana. Finally he could unwind, seal themselves away, and have weeks upon weeks of uninterrupted, degenerate, filthy, rampant mindless sex until they were all emptied corpses run by hormones and ecstasy the likes normal mortals could possibly fa- why was everything so dark?

"Big brooootherrrrrrr." A familiar female voice whispered behind him into his ear. "So good to see you're being productive for once."

"No." He whimpered, genuinely about to cry in lost hope. "I'm done. I'm supposed to be done."

Pitch black tendrils wrapped around him, caressing his body gently, yet not allowing him perchance to escape. "We need to talk brother. You have some explaining to do. Scab has some paperwork lined up too…"

"Some paperwork" usually translated to roughly two or three small mountains worth.

"But, I'm done." The God of None cried like a small child, feebly trying to argue his freedom.

"Come on brother. Let's go home." Shadow's voice crooned sweetly, as though she was the voice of death beckoning him to the other side.

"Nooo! I'm done! I don't want to go home! I don't wanna work anymore!" Ghost thrashed about wildly while being dragged into the black pit of emptiness as though it was the equivalent of Hell.

Then again, all things considered, given Ghost's constitution and nature, Hell probably would have been a more generous and preferable outcome than what he was about to undergo.

His efforts were in vain. Unless he was willing to cause damage to the reality that could potentially split the world in half, Ghost simply lacked the means to escape his sister's grasp at this stage. No matter how much he begged, wailed, grabbed at the soil in front of him, or threatened, his departure was guaranteed. He had long since passed the point where even cutting off his limbs would aid in his endeavors.

"Noooooooooooo!"

Soon enough, the immortal's body sunk completely into the black pool, the last thing visible of him was his desperately waving hand that too vanished a few moments later.

Once more, silence claimed the ruined battlegrounds.

A short distance away, two ANBU stared blankly at where Ghost once was.

"… I didn't see anything, did you?"

"See what?"

"Right… Bar after work?"

"I have a feeling I'm calling in sick tomorrow. Yoshi's does have a tendency of giving people food poisoning, even if it tastes good."

"Perfect."

Be it Iwa, Konoha, or another world, some things were simply universal.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Thanks Kagaseo for Betaing.

DONE! Fucking DONE!

I'm really sorry for the delay guys. Work and Life been really REALLY nasty to me and Kagaseo this month. We're both beat and exhausted right now. I haven't been this worn out in years, and tbh I only just finished the work yesterday. Kagaseo's had it even harder. I won't go into detail, but the guy deserves crazy respect for what he does and for standing his ground so often.

That said, in the time that the chapter was being looked over, I made a small side story, well, not really a story so much as it is a summary of one of Ghost's exploits in another universe. Essentially, it's the start of an anthology series of the Oogakari's forays into other universes. Something light to tide me over from time to time. Give it a look if you have time and want a couple of cheap laughs.

Another slow chapter, but things are slowly developing. I intended to add another scene with a bit more action, but again, life has been using me as a fuck toy lately so I wasn't up to it this time.

Corona virus still a thing. China still being China. Got Skadi in FGO… ah.

Ok. I'm not going into detail just yet, and it has only just started, but myself, and several other FF authors have started to work on a small… side project. A brain child of mine that I've been playing with for some time but only recently started. I'll let you guys know when things start developing more, but expect some interesting announcements in the future.

Anyways, that's it. Again, life's sapped much of my energy lately… er, not in the cornovirus way. Don't worry, I'm still healthy. Anyways, stay safe out there.

SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! SCAB'S LEGAL FEES ARE WIDELY CONSIDERED EXTORTION BUT HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT IS WILLING TO COVER GHOST SO THAT BLIND BASTARD IS SOL! AND REVIEW AGAIN!