Author Notes:

-I apologize for everything.

-Have a crack-tastic Christmas. (Because we all know that normal never happens).

-This is the story...about Prussia in a box. A really, really short story. Short, somewhat funny, very weird, and also corny, as can be expected from me. Just a little Christmas present, I guess. Been thinking about having other pairing crack stories for this Christmas season. Short little clips of cracky moments. I dunno. We'll see.

~!~

Prussia In a Box

~!~

Day 1 In the Box

Dear Diary,

I am awesome!

Also, this box is not so bad. It was Francis' idea and well, after he said it Antonio got a weird grin on his face – and I know, he always smiles but he does have this one grin that just screams...well, anyway, never trust him when he gets like that. Anyway, after Francis said his idea, those two kind of stuffed me in a box against my will. Those bastards. My friends are almost worse than my enemies sometimes.

I have tried to break free. After all, Birdie will probably start to miss me and if I can't get free for Christmas, he's sure to be upset and mad. At least he won't hit me with a frying pan. I don't think...

You would be surprised how hard it is to break out of a box from the inside. I am not sure what it is made out of, but it doesn't seem to budge when I kick or punch at it. Not to mention, I don't have much room to put a lot of force behind my attacks, either. That is the real problem.

You see, there is enough room to move about but not enough to stand up. I am forever on my side, scrunched up, even if I can switch positions and turn around. I wish I knew how many days until Christmas. This is going to be hell.

Day 2 In the Box

Dear Diary,

I am awesome!

I'm getting hungry. They left me some food but I've already rationed it. I can last a week. I hope Christmas is not much longer than that.

Also, there were water bottles, so I have plenty of water...and somewhere to piss when I need to as long as I empty the water bottles first. Kesese. It's like being in a prison cell without somewhere decent to piss. Gott, but it's kind of gross. My friends really are assholes, even if they thought of everything I would need to survive in here. At least everything necessary for a country, seeing as nations don't require as much as normal humans. Even an ex-nation. Whatever my status is.

Still, I am hungry, and every once in a while I can smell Birdie's cooking. It makes my stomach growl and wish Christmas would hurry up so he would open this stupid box. This was such a stupid idea. Why did I not run when I had the chance? How could they stuff me in a box and then wrap me up like a present for Canada?

I mean, I didn't really take issue with the first idea. Stripping me down and tying me up with bows and ribbons and wrapping paper... yeah, that part I was kind of cool with...for Birdie at least. But the box?

Fucking Francis...

Day 3 In the Box

Dear Diary,

I'm still awesome.

It's kind of awkward writing in you, though, with my hands tied up like this. I mean, I am awesome enough to manage it. You'd be surprised how much you can actually accomplish with your wrists tied together. Especially when you have lots of practice, kesese~

I can hear Birdie sometimes. He's been calling people, looking for me. Mein bruder has no idea, of course. And Francis and Antonio won't say a word. Though I'm sure they're making stupid hints about Christmas and presents and boxes, but Birdie hasn't hung out with them long enough to understand.

Gott, I'm so bored in here.

When Birdie's brother came over, I couldn't even stand up and defend myself. I could hear him as they walked through the room, as they sat in the room and talked. He was bad-mouthing me and shit and I couldn't say a damn thing. It still kind of annoys me how much he hates me. It's not like I've done anything bad with Birdie. Alfred just doesn't like me. It must be the over protective brother thing, but I don't get it. I didn't do that with West and his stupid little Italian, did I?

Tch. Whatever. I hate having to sit here and listen to that asshole. Of course once Arthur came over, things got better. Arthur understands me, at least better than Alfred. Still, having to sit here and being unable to snap back...so not awesome.

Not awesome at all.

Day 4 In the Box

Dear Diary,

Yes, I'm still awesome.

Hungry and tired now. I think I'm going to eat the rest of my rations anyway. Christmas has got to be close. Gott, I wish I had gotten more presents for Birdie. Now all he has is this stupid box with me in it. As awesome as I am, I don't think that's fair.

It must be pretty weird, having me disappear and yet having this huge box appear next to the Christmas tree in the same day. I wonder if he thinks it's weird. I wonder why he hasn't tried to open it yet. It probably says something stupid like "don't open until Christmas." Francis would think of that, wouldn't he?

Argh, verdamt, I can't do much more of this. So. Bored.

Day 5 In the Box

Dear Diary,

I think it's Christmas Eve. I'm not sure, but I think I can hear Birdie crying. He wouldn't cry unless it was Christmas Eve and I was still missing, would he? I mean, he knows I go out all the time. He knows I'm always hanging with friends. But I promised him I would be here for this night.

...and I am...but then again, I'm not...

Verdamt, Francis, I swear I'm going to kill you. This wasn't supposed to make Birdie cry. This stupid, stupid idea.

I can't even stay mad, though. I'm so tired. So weak. So...

~!~

Christmas Morning

~!~

Canada woke up to a touch on his shoulder. He was lying on the couch, curled up underneath little blankets, finding himself waiting in the living room as if he had fallen asleep while waiting on Prussia to come home. Because Prussia had promised and Prussia always kept his promises.

He opened his eyes to see Finland, which wasn't as strange as his brain initially said. Finland was playing Santa Claus tonight. Christmas Eve. Christmas morning.

"Merry Christmas, Canada," Finland said, his eyes bright and his smile contagious, even as Canada tried to think of what reason he could be smiling for. "I would open that big box now if I were you."

"Huh? Oh...why?"

Finland simply smiled back and shook his head, slinging a big red bag over his shoulder and making his way back to the front door. (Honestly, Santa only had to use a chimney if the door was locked). Sweden appeared to be standing by, too, waiting for Finland to finish his little message.

Canada watched them for a moment, following Finland to the door and wishing the both of them a Merry Christmas before shutting the door and walking back into the living room. Those two were absolutely perfect for each other. Sweden was always there for little Finney. Always waiting on him. Always willing to do anything... Always there...

If only Prussia could be like that...

With a trembling sigh, Canada shook his head. No, Prussia was a free spirit, always running here and there, never happy with settling down. But it had been odd. For him to just disappear like that. For him to promise to be here and then not be here...

Sighing again, he walked over to the rather large box and stared down at it for what felt like the millionth time. Something just felt off whenever he looked at, but the note said to wait. So he had waited. He had waited and wondered. What on earth could Prussia be up to now?

Finally, he reached out, taking a knife out of a drawer to start cutting into the box. Once all the wrapping was off, of course. Take off the wrapping and then open the box. Gently, of course. Even the wrapping was in near perfect condition. It was something he tended to do. Whereas Gil would tear into everything, Matthew would be slow and steady and precise and careful.

Popping the box open, he looked down and then fell back with a gasp. "Gil! What the -"

A groan answered him, followed by Prussia rolling over, causing the now open box to tip over and spill him out. Naked minus ribbon tying his wrists and ankles and a bow tied in his hair. It made him look cute, hot, and if not for the bags under his eyes and the clearly exhausted muscles, Canada might have very well jumped him then and there.

Instead, he crawled over to Prussia's side and ripped all the stupid Christmas wrappings off. "Who – what – I – when?"

Another groan and red eyes opened to look up at him. "My friends are assholes," Gil supplied before closing his eyes again and then smirking. "Merry Christmas, Birdie."

Despite his urge to cry or shout or blame someone for this tumult of emotions these past five days...Matthew simply put his hands on Gilbert's face and waited until those special albino eyes opened for him again. "You," he said. Nothing more. Nothing less.

It made Gil's mouth dip into a confused frown, as those eyes blinked and those eyebrows furrowed. "Wha-?"

Matthew smiled and shook his head. "Just you." Then he bent down and kissed him. "Merry Christmas," he murmured. "You freakin' idiot."

~!~

A/N: So, yeah, like I said. Short and stupid, huh? Ah well, cracktastic cuteness. Every once in a while, something light that makes little sense...yeah...every once in a while, I just don't care. And I enjoy little stupid things like this sometimes. Ah well.

~I appreciate any and all reviews, alerts, or favorites~Merry Christmas, everyone~

~Reda