A/n: Guys I am so sorry I haven't updated anything. I really am trying but I've been busy with work and to be honest I kinda lost the passion to write for a while. I'm not abandoning any of my stories (I've been working on Go Big or Go Home) it's just been hard. So as an apology here's a random brittana one shot.
It's a cold day in Lima Ohio, just a day before Christmas. A fresh batch of snow has just fallen and covered the town in a beautiful white blanket. Everyone is happily inside with their hot chocolate and their significant others, well all but one.
It's almost Christmas and I'm back home for the holidays. I was here for a while actually because school let out a week ago but I didn't tell anyone. I guess I just wanted time to think. Don't get me wrong I loved coming back to school, which was surprising, but it was kind of overwhelming. Seeing you all the time, kinda broke me. You looked happy but I know you were upset. I could tell by the way you sang that song with me and Quinn. You were trying to tell me something and I heard you loud and clear. It's just I didn't think I was good for you right now, good for us. I never had time for you because of school and you deserve more from me. I kept you waiting for so long I didn't want to do that to you again.
I swear though on the ride back to LSU, I knew how much I screwed up. I wanted to turn around and tell you how sorry I was, how much I missed you, and how unbearable it was to be without you for just that short period of time. But I had finals so I couldn't. I promised myself though, that as soon as I took my last exam I would rush back here, back to you. And I did. But when I got back I couldn't rush into your arms like I planned. I stopped at your place while you were in school, and your mom opened the door. She told me about you and Sam. I can't say I'm not surprised. I know I told you it would be fine if you dated other people but I didn't expect you to start so soon. I'm not mad though, not at you. How could I be, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm mad at myself, because I can't believe after how hard you worked for this, how much we put into to being an us, that I let you go. It was stupid. I was stupid.
So I'm here now. Sitting in the park under our tree, thinking. It's kind of chilly out, it did just snow but that's okay. I have your old Cheerios hoodie to keep me warm. I love how it still smells like you. It's not as good as holding you but it's all I have right now. I-I just hope that you're happy. I wish it could be the one to do that for you, I know I used to but. I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is I love you. I'm still in love with you, I never stopped. I don't know if you'll even find this letter but we used to come here together ever day before Christmas. Do you remember? We'd try to look out for Santa in the sky. We started coming out here when we were like 12 and never stopped. Even when we got older and you knew I didn't believe anymore and well I know you didn't either but old habits die hard right?
"I sure hope they do." Santana sighed out after finishing her last sentence. Before she got up to place the letter in the tree hollow she signed it.
Merry Christmas B
"Mija you're home already?" Maria asked her daughter.
"Yeah ma why wouldn't I be?" Santana questioned, as she took off her jacket and hung it on the coat rack.
"It's Christmas eve. You don't usually get back from Brittany's this early it's barely 6." Maria asked fairly confused.
"I'm not spending Christmas with her this year." Santana replied tersely before heading off to her room.
It was a rough week and this being the first Christmas she spent without Brittany only made it worse. Of course her subconscious wasn't doing her any favors either having her dream of the beautiful blonde she missed so much. It took forever but sleep finally overtook Santana. Sadly it didn't last very long. There was a rather loud tapping noise on her bedroom window. Santana tried to ignore it but it only seemed to get louder once she moved the pillow over her head. Finally she got up and turned to her window to be graced with something she never expected.
"Open up it's cold out here." Brittany said through the glass. It was muffled but Santana heard her. It took a minute for Santana to remember how to move but once she finally felt her feet again she rushed to the window.
"What are you doing here B?" Santana asked, helping the girl inside.
"It's the night before Christmas and well I always spend it with you." Brittany said breathlessly. The climb up the tree seemed to have worn her out. Santana didn't know that Brittany ran all the way form their spot to her house once she found the letter.
"Yeah, but how did you even know I was here? I asked your mom not to say anything" Santana questioned.
"She didn't. I didn't even know she knew you were here until just now. I- I just..I found" Brittany struggled for the words to explain to Santana why she was standing in her bedroom reaching in her pockets when the note Santana left fell out.
Shocked Santana bent down to pick it up and looked up at Brittany.
"You still went?" Santana whispered.
"Of course I did, San." Brittany answered, lowering herself down to Santana.
"I know you weren't here but Christmas wouldn't be the same if I didn't go. And well it makes me feel closer to you." Brittany explained.
"Makes? How often do you go there?" Santana asked.
"All the time."
"But what about-"
"Sam is nothing compared to you. I knew that from the first time he tried to kiss me." Santana made a face at learning that Sam actually tried to kiss her girlfriend, well ex-girlfriend.
Brittany just reached out for hold Santana's face in her hands.
"Santana I know that this long distance relationship will be hard. And maybe I was being selfish when I said you abandoned me but I never wanted to break up. I just got to be with you San, why would I want to throw that away."
"I just-I don't want you to be sad when I'm gone."
"Of course I'll be sad San, but who wouldn't be. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'd be crazy to give that up."
"What are you saying Brittany?"
"Ask me."
"What?"
"Ask me and I'm yours."
"Will you be my girlfriend again?"
"Proudly So."