AN: OHMIGOODNESS, I'm sorry I'm so late and haven't updated! Eeek! This is... wow. Hopefully, I can make it up to you like this!
Here I have a little tradition I want to start up: A Sweet N' Spicy Christmas! I have two stories, one sweet (hint: you're reading it now) and one spicy (my other one shot I've posted today). Neither are related to each other, but both are from pre-existing Dragon Age stories I've started, and both were equally fun to write!
I have a few people I'd like to thank: Morninglight and FenZev, thank you both for the encouraging words you gave when reading this (and yes, FenZev, you can really review this now! ;D ), and Jaden Anderson, for being the beta that made this nice and shiny.
There may be many particular fans reading this, but this goes out in particular to Eve Hawke, because I know she likes her Alibear extra-marshmallowy. Read, review, and as always, enjoy!
How does someone express their feelings openly?
Solona pondered this as she followed along with the train of mismatched party members, as they all left Haven's snowy town for Redcliffe. All of the stories that she read had something to do with powerful promises- usually a symbolic token or two. After glossed over nights of sharing said feelings with their bodies, they'd receive a happily-ever-after, riding off into the sunset ending. None of those stories covered how it would apply to a shy, awkward bookworm such as herself.
When Jowan had first expressed his young feelings to her, she'd stared at the poor man until he stammered an excuse to escape. She had been utterly embarrassed of that memory ever since.
But now she found herself in a problem: she was in love with Alistair. There was no doubt about it. When he gave his little cheeky smile to her, her stomach would start to flip-flop. Solona had run into more branches, and tripped over her own feet more times than she could count because she was too absorbed with what he was saying to her. And the rose he gave her... tingly bubbles coursed across her skin for the remainder of the week after that. She still had it, pressed in her favorite adventure story, right at her favorite chapter.
Solona had a good feeling she was being ridiculous about this whole notion. But she didn't like being in such suspense! If only she could be as brave as some of the heroines she read about... or to even have an ounce of Leliana's flirty nature, or a sprinkle of Kit's straightforwardness. But she just had to be the quiet one who was more prone to blush rather than bat her eyes.
As if thinking of the woman summoned her, Leliana purposely trailed back, letting Solona catch up to her. The bard's head tilted to the side as she studied her friend, before asking, "A silver for your thoughts?"
Solona's eyes darted over, then back to the ground as her cursed blush came back. "You'll think it's silly," she quietly said, so much so that Leliana had to strain to hear her.
"Oh, I wouldn't dream of thinking such a thing, ma cheré," Leliana reassured Solona, stepping closer to wrap an arm around her shoulders. "You can tell me anything."
Though Solona knew she could easily tell Leliana all of her troubles, she still felt some trepidation on the subject. It wasn't something light, such as the weather, or walking distance from Redcliffe's Chantry to the castle proper. After taking a few deep breaths for courage... she chickened out and said, "Why is it that an elf's ears move? Maybe it's an emotional indicator?" As soon as the words came out, Solona wished for a hole to appear so she could crawl into it. That was awful!
Leliana, Maker bless her, could tell that wasn't really what was bothering her friend, so gently pushed the topic further. "You have certainly been distracted for days, Solona. Such distraction couldn't come from an elf's ears..." Darting a glance over to Zevran, who was still trying to work Wynne over into a one night stand, she asked, "Unless it's a certain elf in particular?"
"No," Solona quickly answered. He seemed to have eyes on nearly everything that moved... save for her, whom he treated more like a kid sister. And if that wasn't humiliating enough, she didn't know what was.
"Could it be a certain Templar's dimples, then?" Leliana asked, purely in jest.
"No!" Solona squealed, before clapping both her hands over her mouth and blushing.
The loud reply was enough to stop Alistair's and Kit's lead, interrupting their conversation as they both looked back. "Everything okay back there?" Kit finally asked.
Solona's eyes darted to the ground as tears started to form. Did she wish for a hole? She now wanted a cave, or a crater. Leliana reassured their leader with a nod and a wave, not wanting to clue either of them in on an obviously private issue. It seemed enough to pacify Kit for now, as she picked up her even strides once more, resuming her conversation.
Leliana waited for enough time to pass, and for Solona's blush to fade, before she leaned in close again, conversing in low tones. "It isn't a bad thing to like Alistair." Getting no immediate response from Solona, she added, "He's a very nice gentleman, and very sweet. You two would like each other's company, if you don't already."
"I don't like him," Solona quietly blurted out, fighting to keep her voice from wavering with nerves. "I... love him."
Leliana's eyes widened as she gasped, before cooing, "Oh, that's precious!"
"Please don't," Solona beseeched, covering her blushing cheeks again. "I don't want him to find out!"
"Why wouldn't you want him to know you care for him?"
"Well, I do," the mage started, seeming to backtrack her thoughts. "I- I just... I... don't know what to say, o-or how to act in front of him! I trip over my own feet when I talk to him, I feel butterflies in my stomach when I think about him- which is all the time, and when I try to be witty or confident in front of him, I wind up sounding like a bumbling idiot!" She pressed her hands to her burning cheeks, having finally confided in Leliana all of what she'd been feeling these past months. "I don't know what to do!"
"You don't need to be witty," the bard reassured her friend. "You simply need to be yourself. Alistair adores you!"
And here comes another blush... Solona covered her face, further protesting into her hands. "He doesn't think that way... he just thinks I'm cute. Like Zev thinks I'm cute. There's nothing cute about being just cute to a guy!"
While Leliana knew a thing or two about how to seduce a man, she had very little idea about the meaning behind that statement. Zev was more attracted to Wynne, if only in jest to rile up the elder mage. He was also interested in Kit, which was a rather dangerous thought, knowing how their leader kept any personal feelings at a distance. Zev and Solona having a relationship... the bard simply couldn't see it happening, since the elf showed consideration to her personal space after- Ah, now I understand! Solona wanted to be seen as a woman to Alistair, which was a popular fear for any woman to have.
After quickly hatching a plan, she wrapped a friendly arm around the young mage again. "When you first learn a spell, how is it done?"
Solona expressed surprise over the change of subject, but answered anyways. "We first learn the motions of the spell, then we practice the words and the correct phrasing, before trying them both together."
"So, you are no stranger to practice in front of a mirror?" Leliana suggested. At her friend's confused look, and the slow shaking of her head, the bard continued. "Good, because I have a plan I'd like for you to try."
o0o0o
"Are you sure about this?" Solona asked, yet again.
Leliana straightened from her small adjustments, brushing off her hands in self-satisfaction. "Yes, I am sure," she replied. The plan was simple, and even easier to pull off: sneak one of Alistair's old shields off Bodahn's cart and into Solona's room at the castle. What she had convinced her friend to do was simply what she had asked about earlier, which was practice. Using a reflective shield instead of a mirror could make an easier alibi should she be caught with it, and having it be Alistair's shield would keep Solona focused on her goal. "Now, all you have to do is pretend this is Alistair," she added, gesturing to the shield. "You can practice saying it every possible way you can think of, until you feel comfortable enough to say it directly to him."
Taking a deep breath, Solona looked onto the shield, and her blurred reflection staring back. It seemed so deceptively simple hearing it like this... but... "Um, I don't mean to be rude..."
Leliana nodded, catching on to the unasked question. "I will find something to entertain myself. Let me know what progress you make," she chirped, wrapping a warm hug around her friend before rising to leave. She parted to let Solona's Mabari, Arwen, inside the room before closing the door behind her.
Well, I'm alone... or, semi-alone, at least... with a shield that I need to pretend is Alistair. She blushed, the plan now sounding ridiculous. The heroines in her novels didn't practice in front of mirrors for hours; they simply up and did what they wanted! Why couldn't she be like that? "Well... here goes nothing," she mused aloud, as Arwen settled down next to her, watching her actions.
First, for witty. She gathered her white hair, pulling it over her shoulder and attempted to coyly peer through her lashes. "I love you," she said, adding what she thought would be a flirty giggle. When it sounded more like a choke, she stopped and smoothed her hair back. Witty was a 'no'.
Now, for direct. Her expression sobered, and she met her fuzzy reflection head on, her fists on her hips. "I love you," she insisted, before stopping to ponder. Maybe if my arms are relaxed? Doing this, she tried again. "I love- no, that seems too harsh." She tapped a finger against her mouth, before shrugging and flicking her fingers up. "I love you." Well, now I don't look sure! "I'm hopeless," she moaned aloud, setting her forehead in her hands.
"You're talking to a shield," Arwen stated, his quiet yet deep voice filling the quiet of the room.
"I know... but if I practice, I'll get better," she reaffirmed, straightening again. "It's just like practicing a spell... only more important."
Arwen released a very canine yawn, shaking his head before setting it down on his paws. "I think you'd be better when practicing with another two-legger, Mistress."
"I get too embarrassed."
"Will you picture a shield then, instead of a person?" he pointed out.
"No, I-" Solona started, before huffing and turning to his golden furred face. "What would you do, if you liked someone? Really liked someone?"
Raising his head up, he replied, "You're asking a Mabari how he would approach his mate?"
She thought on the question, before wrinkling her nose at the image it produced. "Never mind," she murmured. Though he most likely thought it strange, she knew Arwen would stay, if only to show support. "Just... don't watch."
"I'll keep my eyes shut," he promised, shifting to stretch out on his side.
Nodding with satisfaction, she shifted herself closer, putting more of her face into focus. Let's try... sultry. "I love you," she murmured, pouting her lips. No... shy? Well, I've got that covered already, so... Leaning forward, she rested her chin on her hands, watching her mouth closely. "Eye-eee luh-vah eee-ou," she sounded out, giggling on the last syllable. It was a lot like how he would make a silly joke...
Lifting her gaze, she could just picture his smile, and yes, his dimpled cheeks. "I love you," she stated, just the right tone and volume, her grin fixed in place. "I really do love you." Picturing a disbelieving arch of his brow, she added, "I love you as much as the world is big. ... I love you as much as the stars in the sky, and as much as watching them disappear before the sun rises. ... I love you as much as you love cheese. I love you as much as snow. I love you as much as books!"
"Well, you can keep the shield if you love it so much."
Solona shrieked as she heard Alistair's voice in the doorway, a frost bomb shooting from her hands in reflex and covering said shield- and the surrounding area- in a layer of snow and ice. Arwen jumped up with a yelp as some hit his paws unexpectedly. His head swung back to his Mistress, who was now staring wide-eyed at The Man Who Smelled Like Cheese, her hands firmly pressed over her mouth. Two-leggers were so confusing sometimes...
Alistair, who was holding his hands up in surrender, relaxed, seeing that no other surprise bombs were going to shoot out. "I didn't mean to startle you," he calmly insisted, starting to quirk a grin. "I was just looking for Leliana and heard you talking, so I thought she was in here."
"How... how much..." Solona murmured, praying it wasn't as bad as she thought.
"Did I hear?" Alistair paused, before answering. "You love the shield as much as the world is big."
"Oh no, ohhhh, Maker, what have I done?" Solona cried, her cheeks burning hot.
Flabbergasted, and sensing a woman about to cry, he started reassuring her as he stepped closer. "It's alright, Solona, honest. You really can keep the shield; I don't use it that much anymore-"
He was interrupted as she fled the room, starting to sob loudly anyways. Unsure of what was best to do, he simply remained in place and let her leave, scratching the back of his neck. By the Maker, now he felt like an ass. Even when he was a young teen, crying women were always his weakness; but seeing Solona cry, for what he could imagine was his fault, made that helpless feeling even worse. He looked down, spotting Arwen watching him. "Do you know what I did?"
Arwen growled and barked once in reply.
"Yeah, I don't know either," Alistair huffed, shrugging. Arwen slowly padded out the door as Alistair surveyed the damage. It was starting to melt already, luckily enough, which could be easily cleaned-
A rather solid paw hitting the back of his leg disrupted Alistair from his thoughts. "Ow, hey!" he protested to the Mabari's back. "You just kicked me!"
Arwen turned, a challenging gleam in his eye as he stared down Alistair, before turning away with a huff and trotting down the hall.
Alistair's jaw dropped with indignation, rubbing the last bit of ache out of his calf. That dog is way too smart for his own good... and a little bit mean. He brought himself back to the task at hand, working the shield free from the floor and wall. Once that was done, he used a sleeve to wipe the frost from the metal, shaking it out onto the floor.
Solona had been acting really strange lately, he couldn't help but notice. She tripped over things while he talked to her, most likely distracted by how badly he was fumbling things up. She hadn't gushed about the rose he gave her like other girls did when receiving a favor from their crush. Even his smiling caused her to suddenly look wide-eyed, often leaving him wondering if there was a piece of cheese caught somewhere! Why did he have to feel like such a fumbling idiot around beautiful women?
Alistair sighed, his warm breath fogging up the shield as he studied himself. Those women certainly reacted well enough around him, as if somehow sensing his more innocent nature and seeking to corrupt it. But when it was Solona? With her amazing blue eyes, her good-hearted nature, and that sweet smile that could turn his legs to jelly... he could just see it now...
His thought process slowed sharply to a halt, giving his reflection a shocked look. He may not be as cunning as Zev or Leliana, but that didn't make him the simpleton Morrigan claimed him to be. When he normally caught her at something, like reading aloud when she thought no one was there, she would simply smile and correct her own actions without being asked. This reaction to him being there had to mean something. If she had really wanted a shield, she could have sweet talked Bodahn into having any other one; instead, she had this one, one that he had had since Ostagar, and had used to save their lives from many an enemy's fireball- clearly something that would remind her of him.
... She loves me? More than snow? The thought sank in, before he pumped his fist in the air, abandoning the shield and melting ice to search for Solona.
o0o0o
Kit raced down the stone hallway, following the clacking paws of Arwen and Wolf running along behind her. She was successfully pulled away from the last of the meeting with Arl Eamon by Arwen's rather commanding barks. Being able to understand only a few words, she had to rely on Wolf to translate what was being said: Solona was hurt, and needed help. Nearly skidding on the floor as Arwen came to an abrupt stop, Kit could hear it: soft sobs, and another soothing voice. Without thinking to knock, Kit burst in. She flinched back as lightning arced out and scorched the floor in front of her, and gave Solona time to settle back down before striding forward.
"Solona," she soothed, smoothing back her hair as she knelt. The mage looked back with unshed tears, her head resting on Leliana's lap as the bard comforted her as well, seated on a wooden chopping table. "Tell me who I have to beat up," Kit insisted, her calm tone covering what she felt. "Just give me a name, and it's done."
"No!" Solona wailed, turning her face away to sob harder onto Leliana's legs. Something indistinct but very persistent was then mumbled.
"I can't understand you," Kit replied, trying to bring Solona back around. "Am I going to have to hurt someone, or not?"
"Yes," Arwen brashly replied.
"No," Leliana insisted at the same time.
Kit paused, shifting her focus elsewhere. "Why is she crying?" she asked Leliana.
"It's a misunderstanding, I swear it."
"Define 'misunderstanding'," she replied in clipped tones.
Leliana wasn't threatened by Kit's change in tone, recognizing a protective friend when she saw it. She took a deep breath, and summed up what she had gathered from what Solona managed to tell her. "Solona has feelings for Alistair." When Kit's brow arched, she added, "Very strong feelings. Solona doubted her confidence in her ability to say what she wanted to him, so I suggested she practice with one of his shields, one he wouldn't exactly miss."
"And?"
"Well, she did, and he caught her anyways."
Kit's brows furrowed, unsure of why such a thing would be suggested to begin with if this would happen. "I'm... not sure I'm following."
Solona chimed it, her breath hitching as she spoke. "He-he said, th-that if I l-l-loved the shield th-that much, I c-could keep-p it..."
Kit huffed a breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Oh boy..."
"Exactly," Leliana murmured, continuing to smooth Solona's hair in reassurance.
The trio fell silent, save for the mage's sobbing breaths, as Kit's mind raced. As much as a stranger she was to this field, she was still a woman, and knew they'd have to tread very carefully now. "Hey," she said, catching Solona's attention. "This is exactly like Leliana said: just a misunderstanding. I'm sure when things calm down, he'll want to hear your side of the story."
"Or I could hear it now," Alistair ventured, just outside of the doorway. Five sets of eyes pinned him to the spot, but only one lanced through his chest. "If I could speak to Solona alone, please?"
Kit pursed her mouth, before turning back. "Will you be okay?" At Solona's teary nod, she released a slow breath, and hugged her friend. Leliana waited until she was upright again before hugging the mage. Wolf, Kit, and Leliana left amicably enough, before the rogue noticed they were short one. "Hey Arwen," she called back in, catching the Mabari's attention. "What do you say we start training some of the guards?"
Alistair watched as Arwen turned his gaze back, giving the Templar a rather suspicious once-over before seeming to snort at him, turning his nose up and marching out. That gave him a sneaking suspicion Arwen and he weren't going to get along that well... As he shut the door behind him, Alistair's thoughts raced. He finally knew how Solona felt about him; while he was overjoyed at the thought, it was now on him to say something, anything, that truly expressed what he felt for her.
She beat him by starting to babble nervously. "Alistair, I know you probably don't like me as much as I like you, but it's true! It's really very true, and I'll understand if you don't feel the same way about me, and want to be with someone like Leliana. I mean, she's a lot better at this than I am, and it's exactly what you deserve; you deserve a strong woman at your back who makes you happy and who takes care of you as much as you take care of her, and you deserve to be happy without some... st-stuttering idiot of a m-mage who gets easily surp-p-prised and h-hurts people, an-and is too pale and shy-"
Alistair chose to stop her overflow of words by setting a finger to her lips, gently shushing her. She looked back up at him, fear and sadness in her eyes that made them seem twice as big to him. Oh Maker... what to say? Start at the basics. "I love you too."
Solona's jaw dropped. Did he just say what she thought he just said? "Wh-what...?"
"I mean it. I love you too."
Her mind reeling, she stammered, "But... but you deserve-"
"To be happy," he interrupted before she could start putting herself down again. "I know... or maybe, you do. I certainly don't know what I deserve, but I do know what I want." Taking one of her hands in his, it was his turn to start talking uncontrollably. "'What I want' is someone who won't, and hasn't, hesitated to be there for me, even when I didn't know I needed that. 'What I want' is someone who has such a big heart, she can't help but wear it on her sleeve sometimes. 'What I want' has a very lovely voice when she forgets where she is and starts reading aloud," he continued, starting to smile with her. "'What I want' has the most beautiful eyes a man could get lost in for hours. I'd kill to see 'what I want' smile, even if it's just a little, only to feel like I've died a happy man when she finally does."
He moved his hands up to gently cup the sides of her face, adding, "'What I want' loves me as much as I love cheese, and as much as the world is big, and as much as books. But, most of all, what I want is to be with you for every sunrise we can have together, only to wind up watching your lovely face light up with delight, as the sun finally peeks over the horizon. I want all of that, and everything else; I want you. I love you."
Solona didn't stop crying at all during his speech, her tears turning to those of happiness by the time he started talking about her. She swiped at her cheeks in vain, managing a watery laugh. "Why don't you tell me how you really feel," she joked, still reeling from everything he said and the very huge meaning behind it.
With that dimpled smile of his, he replied, "I'd rather show you, if you'll let me."
A blush crept up her neck, and she tilted her head forward out of reflex. With a gentle hand, he brushed the hair that had fallen forward back behind her ear, tracing them down her jaw to tilt her chin back up. Leaning in slowly, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, inching his way down to the bridge of her nose before shifting to one of her tear-stained cheeks. Her shaky breathing filled his ears, making him pause and turn to her. "Solona?"
"Yes," she immediately replied, turning her face to his. With their lips that close to each other, the pull between them couldn't be denied, and they finally kissed. It was soft, sweet, like two teenage sweethearts discovering each other for the first time. Her hands crept up his chest, one resting over his heart as the other curled her dainty fingers around the back of his neck. He, in turn, wrapped his arms around her back, holding her as if he didn't want her to leave, and yet would break at the slightest squeeze.
Eternity passed in a heartbeat before they finally parted, panting lightly against each other. Alistair automatically couldn't wait to start kissing her again, and neither could Solona, but a need to see how the other reacted forced them to stop. Realizing this, they both relaxed with a laugh, feeling more like themselves with each other.
"I do have an observation to make, however," Alistair murmured.
"What?" Solona whispered, smiling up at him.
"Since I am bigger than you, I'm fairly certain that I love you more."