50 Shades of Red

Author's Note: This is my best friend's Christmas present, and she told me I could post it, so here you go. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Thank you to chrisxcrossx for the immense amount of help she gave me. And if you don't go immediately after reading this story and read her (im)Perfect, you are certifiably insane because it is absolutely wonderful.

Cover artwork was drawn by Fabula-et-Dolum (yes, she's on deviantArt.)

Disclaimer: Pen Ward, only the most amazing producer animator person ever, owns Adventure Time, not me.

It was the time of year when the peppermints and cinnamon sticks rampaged the streets, relishing in their own form of sweet, sweet triumph. Minty, chocolatey smells wafted through the streets, snaking in between the evergreen boughs and enchanting all who had the pleasure of sniffing them. Indeed, the people of the Candy Kingdom were always especially happy at this time of year. And this happiness caused Fionna and Cake to almost trip multiple times over the excited, scurrying candy people as they made their way to the castle.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Cake called out after a couple giggling gumdrop children almost tripped Fionna. "Are you alright, sweetie? Don't want to get to the castle all dirty from tripping over little candy babies!"

Fionna was prepared to make a no doubt witty if not thought through remark to this when a couple of cinnamon sticks waltzed by, making her sneeze on their scent. She had already been thoroughly annoyed and wondering how much longer it would be until the castle came into sight, but now she was ready to pull out her sword and slice half the Candy Kingdom's pedestrian population in half.

It was at that moment that MoChro swooped down and picked them up, his body length alone almost reaching the castle.

"Thanks MoChro!" Fionna thanked. "All the candy people are going nuts- no pun intended- and I swear if I tripped over one more gumdrop I would've-" She stopped when she realized that all the unicorn was hearing was whatever Cake was whispering in his ear. She sat back, slightly irritated, as the castle came into view.

MoChro dropped them off at an open window, which had the most delectable smells in the Candy Kingdom wafting out of it. Fionna jumped off MoChro and Link-rolled into the kitchen, making sure to end her entrance with a suitable "HAI!" and pose. Cake jumped in after her, and the two enjoyed their moment of posing and yelling before bowing to the chefs in the royal kitchen.

"Hello, Fionna!" Prince Gunball greeted, wiping his hands on his apron. "I must ask that you refrain from such... dramatic entrances in the future."

"Aw, but it was so cool!" Fionna pleaded. Gumball nodded his head in the direction of the counter behind them, and she looked with a huff; a split platter of crushed cream puffs was the debris of their entrance. "Fine. Why are you cooking right now, anyway?"

"For your party tonight, of course!" the prince replied with a laugh.

"Don't worry, honey," Cake said with a wave of her hand. "We'll have plenty of food to fill up that candy belly of your's." Gumball cocked his brow.

"Are you referring to potato chips and instant hot chocolate like last year?"

"Yeah!... Yeah."

"I don't mind bringing a little extra," Gumball assured, turning back to his creations. "I like cooking any- wait, what?" All the dishes that had been any shade of red were now completely white, sitting in their original places without a single bite taken from them. "Marshall!"

"BOO!"

"Ah!" The vampire king had jumped out from behind a massive cake, which had originally had red and white stripes but was now completely the latter. The surprise made Gumball jump, and he caught himself in a bowl of green jello, one of the fews things left with color. Marshall doubled over while in midair, taking the bowl and flicking pieces of jello across the kitchen as Gumball dabbed at his stained sleeve.

"That was not appreciated," the prince mumbled, taking the pink jacket off altogether.

"But it was funny!" Marshall argued, a hint of laughter still remaining in his voice. His eyes caught sight of the two adventurers. "Hey, it's Fionna and Cake!"

"You're coming to the party tonight too, right Marshall?" Fionna asked, mentally cursing herself for miscounting the amount of hot chocolate packages she had needed to save. She and Cake had burned all their taste buds off on the beverage last night, after drinking nearly six cups each on a dare. Niether could taste for days afterward.

"Duh!" he said, flying upside down so his touseled black hair hung down. "We're gonna party all night, right Fionna?"

"Duh!" she said with a smile, imitating the forceful way the vampire had said it.

"Not really all night, though, right?" Gumball asked. "That's not healthy for your immune system. Or any other system, for that matter."

"Good thing I don't have those then!" Marshall pointed out. "Now I gotta go, I lost a bet with a couple guys, and now I need to... uh... do something."

"What is it, Marshall?" Fionna asked slyly. "What do you have to do?"

"I'm intrigued as well," Gumball added with a rare mischevious smile.

"I... uh... have to serenade LSP."

"What song?" Gumball, Fionna, and Cake asked at the same time.

"'All I Want for Christmas is You'," he mumbled. Fionna and Cake began to roll around on the floor laughing almost immediately, but Gumball seemed even more intrigued.

"Wait, in that case, may I join you?" he asked. "I need to negotiate with the Lumpy Space people, and LSP may be a bit more willing after that... thoughtful gesture on your part." Marshall laughed, scooping the prince up in his arms (a gesture Gumball didn't entirely appreciate, like the scare.)

"You can ride with me anytime, Gumball." Fionna and Cake both gasped suddenly, pointing at the floating couple while trying to choke out words.

"What's up with you two?" Marshall asked, brow cocked. The two were unable to answer; they were now glancing between each other and Marshall and Gumball. "Whatever. We'll see you tonight." The prince and the vampire flew out the same open window that they came in with, and it was only after they left that Fionna and Cake were able to speak. And even then, all Cake could say was "Oh my sweet Jesus!"

"Thank you very much for coming early," Fionna said to the people at her table. With Cake at her side, a determined expression on the cat's face, Fionna addressed all her party guests, sans Marshall and Gumball.

"Yeah, what are we doing here?" LSP demanded, stroking his mustache. "I, like, had to leave right after Marshall serenaded me. I couldn't even go and tell him-"

"WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU WERE GONNA TELL HIM," Fionna said quickly, saving everyone the trauma as they nodded slightly in agreement. "The point is, I'm going to need all your help with a master plan, a brilliant plan, a plan that will forever change the Candy Kingdom!" As the adventurer had gone on, all the party guests leaned closer, nodding with each description and anxiously waiting to hear this self-proclaimed masterpiece. "And it revolves around... this!" Fionna swiped a little garland from behind her back. The spiky leaves were a deep green and three little red berries popped out between them.

"Mistletoe?" Cinnamon Bun questioned. "What does that have to do with the fate of the Candy Kingdom?"

"MARSHALL LEE AND GUMBALL NEED TO KISS AND STUFF!" Fionna proclaimed, pointing at the sky.

"Those two are just perfect for each other!" Cake agreed, tapping her index fingers together and giggling. MoChro scratched his chin in thought before seeming to agree, and Peppermint Maid bowed and said:

"I'll start making the announcements."

"That might be going a bit too far!" Fionna said with a cautious laugh. "But I'm glad to see we're all on the same page. Okay, here's the plan!" So they all listened as she laid out her probably too elaborate plan to get Marshall and Gumball under the mistletoe, and they all smile innocently when the two entered together and the vampire yelled to get the party started.

"The ghoul has taken the berries. I repeat, the ghoul has taken the berries!"

"What are you talking about?" Gumball had been in the middle of a sentence when Fionna gave the signal, and she had been hoping he wouldn't notice her hissing to Cinnamon Bun, who was trying his best to make conversation with Marshall despite his fear. Upon hearing it, he said a hasty bye to the vampire and dashed into the kitchen.

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking out loud. About ghouls. I killed a ghoul once. Their intestines are green, ha ha!" As you can see, Fionna wasn't that great a liar under pressure.

In reality, this had been the elaborate code that meant that Cake had the mistletoe and was ready, and that Cinnamon Bun needed to go to the kitchen and have some sort of cooking disaster for Gumball to fix. Yep, all part of the master plan. Fionna eyed Marshall, who shrugged at Cinnamon Bun's hasty exit and sipped all the red out of the punch. Now, all LSP needed to do was-

"Hey Marshall," he said in his best "seductive" voice. Fionna smacked her forehead. "That was quite the performance you put on for me up at the castle today. You could say I was..." LSP leaned into the vampire, who was smirking. "Enchanted."

"Well, isn't that nice."

"You should do it again sometime, big boy."

Alright, that's it! Fionna thought angrily. Grabbing a napkin, she jerked the pen that Gumball was using to explain his newest experiment from his hand and scrawled a note on it before throwing it at LSP.

"Ow! Totes not coo-el!" LSP picked up the napkin and began reading out loud. "'We're trying to set him up with Gumball, not you.'"

"What?" Marshall asked, sounding interested.

"Just a little love letter from Fionna," he said quickly. Marshall snickered.

"Got it." The adventurer's head was getting sore from all the smacking that had been going on, and Gumball asked if she was okay.

"What, me? Yeah, I'm totally, it's coo-" Suddenly, smoke started pouring from the kitchen and Cinnamon Bun screeched Gumball's name.

"What on earth is he doing?" the prince mumbled as he ran to the kitchen, followed by LSP and Marshall.

"You didn't have to burn my house down!" Fionna growled as she, too, headed towards the source of the smoke. In the kitchen, it was impossible to see to far in front of you, the smoke was so thick. She could see fire coming from the direction of the stove and was able to catch a few people's statements underneath Cinnamon Bun's screaming.

"C'mon honey, clear the way!"

"This smoke is totes messing up my 'do!"

"Smoke is extremely dangerous for your lungs, get as close to the ground as possible!"

"This is just like a mosh pit! Whoo!" Fionna stayed in the doorway, thinking it would be the safest place. It became quite the opposite as all the smoke was blown in her direction and out of the kitchen. She was vaguely able to hear the sound of scurrying as she coughed excessively, and was finally able to wipe her mouth and look at the scene in front of her.

Her stove was scorched. That sucked. But everything else was perfect. MoChro and Cake were each holding one side of the mistletoe, their bodies forming a heart that arched up to the ceiling. And directly underneath were Gumball and Marshall, their eyes shifting between the garland above them and each other.

"Hurry up and kiss already!" LSP demanded, pulling a camera out of... somewhere. He began to chant impatiently, and soon all the other guests joined in, a chorus whose only line was "KISS! KISS! KISS!"

"Fine, fine!" Gumball said, his face even pinker than usual. Marshall, unsurprisingly, was smirking. After a moment's pause, Gumball kissed him on the cheek and stepped back.

"Dude, I've been alive for a thousand years, and that was the lamest excuse for a kiss that I've ever seen." Marshall then pulled Gumball back and pushed his lips to his. Everyone cheered, and LSP took his pictures and shouted that they were "so totally going on my blog!" Fionna fist-bumped herself and was doing a victory dance when she felt a tugging at her skirt.

"I went ahead and made the announcements anyway, miss." Fionna took the outstretched card and examined it. They said:

We Cordially Invite You to the Wedding of Prince Bubba Gumball of the Candy Kingdom and Marshall Lee the Vampire King on December 26th.

"December 26th?" Fionna questioned. "Isn't that tomorrow?"

"Yes. Do you have a point?"

"NO LET'S DO IT."

Fionna had never done so much Gumlee planning in her life. Not until that Christmas, when Marshall Lee and Gumball found each other under the mistletoe.

Author's Note: So I hoped you enjoyed this silly little story :) Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, whatever you celebrate, I hope you had a wonderful time and that this made it even better :)