YO MINNA! This is another Multi-chap of mine this time on the DURARARA! Fandom XDDD
To any of my KHR and PH readers, Have No Fear! For I know EXACTLY where this fic is going! (unlike everything else...) But Yeah XD
To those of you, you may know that this fic is based on the doujins also called IMAGE*DIVE 8 and 16Bit World! XD Which is LOVE XDD
If you've read the, you know where this is going, if you haven't, then it's something to look forward to! ;P (Or really, the doujin is awesome so go read it XD They have read-onlines if you search in google XD)
DISCLAIMER: RIGHT! So, I DO NOT OWN DURARARA! NOR THE AWESOME DOUJINSHI IMAGE DIVE! (And thus this fanfic is just... well, I wanted to write it)
Beta-ed by Mystic Shadow Demon-sama! XD
Enjoy! R&R? We have Cookies! ;D
"He's not human"
"Scary"
"Beast"
"Vicious"
"Animal"
You're all alone aren't you?
Alone… I'm all alone…
"Violent"
"Traitor"
"You'll get hurt"
"Don't go near him"
"Monster"
"He'll kill you"
Always scaring people away. Always hurting other people
But… I never meant to hurt anyone… I never wanted to hurt anyone
"Stay away from him"
"He's a monster"
"He'll hurt you"
No… I…
"You'll get hurt"
"He's a monster"
"Monster"
"Monster"
You're a Monster Shizu-chan. Don't even try to deny it
"Monster"
~*~_~~IMAGE*DIVE~~_~*~
…#_!_Prologue_!_#...
"Gah!" I nearly flung myself from the bed as I awoke from the unsettling nightmare. My breath came in ragged pants as I try to calm my nerves down, my clothes soaked through with perspiration. I ran a hand through my damp hair as my breathing began to slow down to normal. I groaned, it was very very dark by now, and I could hear the sound of rain outside my window.
What time is it?
I sat up, rummaging atop my bedside drawer for my cell phone. 1:23 am said the digits on the screen, and I exasperatedly plopped back down on the mattress. Damn louse, waking me up at this hour, I inwardly growled, cursing at the smirking, arrogant bastard who popped up in the nightmare. Rather, the bastard who IS my worst nightmare…
A loud CLAP of thunder resounded outside, and lightning illuminated my room for just a moment.
'Monster' a ghostly voice whispered, and I scowled.
"Do you think I enjoy being like this?" I spoke to no one in particular, once again cursing the damn flea.
I thought back to what I recalled of the dream. It was a frequent occurrence with me, so I'm pretty much used to it already. The dream basically seemed to be a completely warped version of my memories as well as my reality.
'You'll get hurt'
But that didn't make the impact any less painful.
Another clap of thunder boomed. I sighed.
…
I don't like violence.
I also don't mean to be violent.
As hard as it might be to believe, I really don't.
I very well just want to live my life in peace… but it just can't be helped that I have an extremely short temper… and abnormal strength that goes with it. Although Shinra and the others always say this is an understatement. Tch.
And apparently…when I get a little too pissed off, I almost always end up destroying public property, inevitably getting other people -innocent or not- hurt.
Sigh
Beep Beep.
Beep Beep.
"Hmm?" Alerted by the sound of my ringtone, I checked the mobile phone in my hand and felt a slight tug at the corner of my mouth when I saw what it was.
((You have a Message from Psyche))
Beep.
-Tsugaru? Are you asleep?-
-Ah! I-if you are then I'm sorry to bother you!-
I felt my mood immediately lighten as I read the message.
/No, it's okay. I've been awake a little while. What's the matter Psyche? What are you doing up at this hour?/
It would seem strange to others how, rather than being irked by the fact that someone messaged me at this ungodly hour, I actually rather welcome this person's company.
-…-
-Ah… No it's…-
-I…-
-Well I… couldn't sleep-
-so I was wondering if Tsugaru was awake…-
-And if maybe we could chat for a bit…?-
I smiled.
/… Bad dream?/ I asked, somewhat embarrassed since I was having my own just a couple of minutes ago.
It took a few moments before he replied.
-Yeah!-
-It was really really scary! I mean, I was just walking around the park eating vanilla ice cream when suddenly these ice-cream monsters appeared and tried to EAT me!-
-HELP ME TSUGARU! \(TTATT)/-
"Pfft!" I almost laughed aloud at my online friend's antics, another thing people might find strange with me. The joke wasn't particularly good, and had it been any other person saying it I would have stayed indifferent.
But Psyche is an exception.
/Do you want to talk about it?/ I offered, feeling a sense of calm just from knowing the other was there. Of course, I knew the ice-cream monster thing couldn't be what was bothering my friend, and I am pretty concerned; if I could I would really like to help him out, whatever it was…
A monster helping out an innocent…how ironic. I chuckled bitterly at the thought, only a little bit hurt.
-…-
-Hey Tsugaru?-
-Why are YOU awake at this hour? owo- he sent back, and I sighed at the obvious act of changing the subject.
Psyche never was one to talk about personal stuff. In fact, he's fairly secretive despite his cheerful character, and very cunning too I found out. I really don't know much at all about his life other than a few things I picked up during conversations. He always was quick to change the subject.
To say that I don't want to know more about him is a lie, but I don't want to push him to tell me anything he doesn't want to. I respect people's privacy as much I like my own. And I don't really have any other reassurance about his well-being apart from his own words.
Running another hand through my hair, I sighed in defeat as I typed.
/I had a bad dream/ I confessed with a smirk. I wonder how he would reply to that.
…
A few minutes went by and still, everything was blank. I felt my brow crease in concern at this.
/Psyche…? Are you still there? Is anything wrong?/
-…..-
-Ah!-
-Ahaha!-
-Yeah, I'm here Tsugaru-
-Well…-
-ANYways, I should get probably get some sleep now-
-Classes in a few hours and everything!-
-Now that I think about it I forgot to do my MATH HOMEWORK! NOOO! /(A)\-
-Ah! Really sorry for disturbing you!-
-Tsugaru's just always so nice that I don't know what to do with you! (=A=)-
-Anyhows, good night Tsugaru!-
-Talk to you later! \(^_^)/-
-Muah! XoXo-
((Psyche has logged out))
And just like that he logged out before I even had the time to compose a reply. I sighed at the childishness of my online friend. It slightly worried me how his messages seemed to have been rushed and jumbled together, but I suppose that it could just be out of sleepiness. It is almost two in the morning after all. And besides, I probably wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyway.
"Haah" I mumbled as I relaxed on my bed, my hand still clasped around the phone. I've already completely forgotten what my nightmare was about in the midst of our short not-really-a-conversation.
Chatting with Psyche always seems to have a calming effect on me, making me feel a little bit at peace…
I know that he's a high school student just like me, but Psyche's childish antics had always given me the air of a cute little brother… not that Kasuka isn't a cute little brother enough for me.
But… though we've never met face to face, I can't deny the fact that I actually care about this person I've never met, and that he is already very precious to me.
And just like that I found myself falling into a peaceful sleep.
~*~_~~IMAGE*DIVE~~_~*~
He reached his apartment sometime after midnight, disgruntled, filthy, and dripping wet from head to toe. He could feel his consciousness slipping away even as he carried himself to his bedroom, ignoring how he trailed muddy water throughout his apartment, exhaustion clouding his mind and his limbs burning and hurting all over.
He barely had any energy left to change out of his wet clothes and into clean ones, not even bothering to dry his hair as he simply collapsed onto the bed. He cursed himself for feeling utterly helpless, but as lightning flashed outside his window, he shivered, curling up on himself.
It had been a horrible day. He'd under-estimated the idiocy that his amateur clients possessed, proven they were at least twice his age, and he found himself caught up in a less than desirable situation that resulted in him being roughened up, almost unable to escape, passing out somewhere in the dead of the night, and waking up in the midst of the freezing rain.
How could I have been so careless? He thought, growling at the utter humiliation he'd just experienced.
And to top it all off, there just had to be a storm.
Thunder boomed just outside his window, and he recoiled at the harshness of the sound.
Soon his cell phone was in his hands, and before he could even discern what he was doing, the screen blinked at him.
((You have sent a Message to Tsugaru))
'Tsugaru' he thought as his hands trembled, clutching the small device.
It would seem very weird for someone of his current state of mind and body to be instant messaging on his phone, in the middle of the night, dripping wet from the rain no less. His entire body was trembling in the cold of the early morning even as he typed, but for some strange reason he couldn't fathom, he just really wanted this unknown person's company right now…
When he was weakest…
Just to know that he had some semblance of control left.
That someone was there…
-Tsugaru? Are you asleep?-
He immediately cursed at the stupidity of his question as he read it. Of course he'd be asleep. Who would be awake at this ungodly hour? The only thing he's doing right now is waking the other up for his own consolation.
-Ah! If you are then I'm sorry to bother you!-
He groaned. I'd probably just piss him off… just what am I doing in the first place? he chided himself, an irritated scowl on his face as he hid under the blankets.
Then, a loud clap of thunder resounded from overhead, making him flinch.
Beep Beep
'Hmm?' he perked up at the sound, bringing his attention back to the phone clutched rather tightly in his hand.
/No, it's okay. I've been awake a little while. What's the matter Psyche? What are you doing up at this hour?/
He stared at the screen, at the avatar wearing a baby blue kimono, the soft glow illuminating his face. 'He's awake..?'
-…-
-Ah… No it's…-
-I…-
His fingers shook slightly, he didn't want to acknowledge how he felt a little too happy to find out his online friend was awake and willing to converse with him.
-Well I… couldn't sleep-
He typed out, feeling very awkward at the moment. His breath hitched when a flash of lightning illuminated his room momentarily, and he tried bracing himself for what was to come.
And come it did, still making him jump when the thunder roared, making his heart beat accelerate till he almost couldn't breathe. Curse this agoraphobia, he thought bitterly.
/Bad dream?/
The person on the other side of the line typed out, and the message made him smirk. Yes, it truly is very human for that to be the first in mind at a time like this ne?
-Yeah!- he replied, spirit lifting involuntarily as he chattered.
-It was really really scary! I mean, I was just walking around the park eating vanilla ice cream when suddenly these ice-cream monsters appeared and tried to EAT me!- He smirked at his antics, no trace of mirth in his scarlet eyes as he read his own message. The person on the other side would never expect there'd be truth in this completely ridiculous sentence.
Then thunder struck again and he gasped.
- HELP ME TSUGARU! \(A)/- his message was sent, and he almost laughed at the timing.
/Then I suppose you should stay away from ice cream for a while C/ the kimono clad avatar messaged, this time a chuckle fled his throat, and he felt slightly better.
-Meanie! o-
-Tsugaru knows how much I love my ice cream!-
Yes, he does love his 'ice-cream', his 'information' was his life. 'Tsugaru' didn't know that, but it was fun, and he needn't care about anything else.
/lol. I know, I know/
/Then in that case, I'll just have to protect you ^^/
….
He stared at the words, trying to ignore the bubbling, pleasant warmth it brought deep inside of him.
He grinned, but it was far from pleasant. 'Silly Tsugaru, I'm not worth protecting' he thought. 'You don't know what I can do'
-Do you mean that?- He messaged, a seriously calm expression on his face as he stared at the screen. -Will Tsugaru really protect me?-
A beat.
/I will. I promise/
The message came in an instant. And his grin became just a little bit softer as he curled up on himself, feeling the warmth surround his body.
Deep inside him he hoped…
"Haha!" he burst. Yes… funny how one person could make him feel as if he wishes their lies were truths. Wasn't he supposed to be the master of deception and lies? This was very unlike him… but he couldn't help the manic giggles spilling out of his lips.
/Do you want to talk about it?/ the screen blinked again, and this time he frowned.
No, he did not want to talk about it. He had no need to speak of his problems to anyone, that was something his beloved humans did to reassure each other that they're not alone, and most of the time it's all a bunch of lies to be used to their advantage someday. There is no way he would allow absolutely anyone to find out about this weakness of his.
He was Orihara Izaya after all. And even if this person doesn't know that, there are no flaws with Orihara Izaya.
Pretending to be strong, pretending to be someone you can lean on, only to let you fall when you're in desperate need… He smiled bitterly.
He had no need of it.
-…-
-Hey Tsugaru?-
-Why are YOU awake at this hour? owo-
He asked as a way to divert the discussion, also genuinely curious as to the reason the other male was here, talking to him at 1:45 am, weighing the chances that it could really be because of him.
Beep
/I had a bad dream/
….
He stared at the screen, reading and re-reading the bold ocean-blue letters disbelievingly, and then he burst out with laughter at the completely humane message.
But thunder struck yet again, and this time, pain shot through him from a sore rib he'd acquired earlier that evening. He curled up on himself once more, squeezing his eyes shut as he fought to endure the pain, holding back the tears accumulating behind his eyelids.
Ah the irony of it all, he thought with a bitter smirk.
He considered himself a god, above all his petty little humans, and yet here he was tearing up over a petty storm waging outside his window pane after a very bad day.
"Hahaha"
He grinned. Yes… He's supposes he's also had a bad dream.
One that's impossible to wake up from…
Beep
/It's okay if you don't want to talk, but just don't forget that I'll always be here to listen… well, read, if you do. Okay? ^_^/
/I'll keep you company/
He was absolutely disgusted feeling so weak, and he was even more repulsed by the feeling bubbling up inside him that made him cling to the superficial words this unknown person was giving him. Making him yearn for the other's consolation, urging him to pour his heart out to this person whom he doesn't know, to depend on him, to tell him all the troubles, the secrets, the weaknesses that he kept locked deep within himself.
'Tsugaru'
It was always him.
It's always this person that brings out what's inside of him.
It's always this unknown person that makes him contradict himself so much…
-Why do people confide in each other?-
It was this person who answered that question, and now he was beginning to understand...
Another clap of thunder, another flinch.
He didn't understand why this person's words affected him so much. He didn't understand why this anonymous person affects him so much.
/Psyche…? Are you still there? Is anything wrong?/
He laughed to himself almost maniacally, clutching his aching stomach as tears really did flow down his face. He truly was out of his mind.
-Tsugaru's just always so nice that I don't know what to do with you! (=A=)-
Indeed this message was completely true. He just didn't know what to do with this person.
He didn't know what he wants to do with this person.
He didn't know just what this person means to him.
And he was genuinely scared to find out…
((Psyche has logged out))
He curled up into a ball beneath his blankets, all traces of mirth gone from his face, replaced by utter exhaustion. His hands clutched his phone close to his chest as if it were a precious treasure, rushing thoughts occupying his mind as he tried desperately to make sense of his situation…
"just remember that I'll always be here to listen…"
"just remember that I'll always be here…"
The blurry face of an anonymous person, a gentle smile directed at him, a caring hand ruffling his hair and taking his own, showing a person like him genuine kindness, care…
Making him see that he, too, was human…
'Tsugaru…'
'Just what are you…?'
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((Image*DIVE has Logged In))
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