Tell a little lie

No one talked. America didn't because there wasn't anything he wanted to say. Canada didn't because he didn't want to say the wrong thing. Neither reached for the radio although Canada desperately wished he would. Any sign that he was okay would have eased Matthew's nerves. Instead, America stared blankly out the window watching the scenery go by. Canada sighed, trying his best to focus on the road and the surrounding traffic. They would arrive at England's place soon. Frankly, he would have preferred not to come at all. Canada didn't know what compelled him to suggest it in the first place.

The minutes ticked by, and he would have given anything to have Kumajiro there to break the silence. Unfortunately, getting him past airport security would have been more trouble than it was worth, so, he was on his own. He checked the clock on the dashboard, only a minute had passed since he last checked. This was turning into the longest trip of his life. What could he do? The few times he had tried to start a conversation he had received short clipped answers from America. There had to be a way to break the tension. Happy go lucky fun America had to be there somewhere, and he needed that during the holidays.

"Why are we stopping?" Alfred asked when Matthew parked a few blocks away from England's house. Matthew got out of the car and opened the door for him.

"We're going to the pub," he said. Scotland had recommended one nearby England's place last time they visited, and this seemed as good a time as any to try it out. America didn't get out of the car.

"You know I don't drink anymore."

"Do you really want to get there right away?" he asked. Alfred's dead pan expression didn't change, but the way his eyes darted to the clock on the dashboard betrayed him.

"I guess we could stop by for a while," he said after a few seconds of quiet deliberation.

Canada made a horrible mistake. The alcohol did not merely take the edge off but removed any and all filters from America's mouth. Matthew knew his brother tended to run his mouth when he drank, but he had hoped one or two drinks would make him easier to talk to. Unfortunately, he didn't consider the fact that Alfred was currently in a very dark state of mind and that he would drink much more than two glasses of alcohol.

England was very aware of his limits. Arthur knew he could handle his brothers separately. The problem with the holidays was that it forced him to be in the same room with them all at once. That alone tripled his stress level and made him want to hide in the broom closet but he would console himself with the fact that this only happened once a year. This would grant him enough peace of mind to make it all the way to new years. And as of late, he could stand America for more than a few hours at a time. So, his impromptu visit wasn't on its own troubling. The thing was he would have to deal with his brothers and America while tip toeing around any and all upsetting topics. He could deal with tragedy and be sensitive and sincere, but during the holidays, he was liable to explode and ruin the break for everyone.

"So, we are all agreed," he said, just having discussed said sensitive subjects with his brothers. They nodded and the room suddenly seemed too stuffy and warm for him. England wasn't all that confident that they could remain civil for the remainder of America's stay.

"Relax, some of us actually know how to keep our mouth shut," Scotland said, shooting him a look. Yes, he best avoid the alcohol from what he'd heard he tended to get . . . emotional.

"Scotland, I'd like to talk to you in the kitchen," he said. Scotland frowned, very aware that he was implementing the divide and conquer tactic.

"Fine," he said, moving to the kitchen area. England followed and chose to ignore Ireland and Wales questioning looks. He and Scotland had been butting heads lately. He might as well get this conversation over with before Canada and America arrived.

"I don't even know why you brought this up now of all times. It's my choice, and I wish you'd stop treating it like a problem that needs to be fixed," Scotland said, looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"We both know it was bound to come up sometime. I'd rather get it out of the way now," England said.

"Why does the possibility of me leaving bother you so much? We can barely stand each other, " Scotland asked.

Here came the tricky part. Usually, this was the point were the conversation turned into an argument.

"Truthfully, I think you want to ruin me. I see no practical reason for you to leave, and find the situation mostly spurred on by nationalistic fervor, " England said. Scotland's eyes narrowed. His words had definitely made Colin angry. All he needed to do was light a match.

"Or maybe, they are frustrated by how things currently stand," Scotland said. England decided to let it go.

"I suppose I have been snapping at you prematurely. The motion will never pass anyway," England said, preparing to exit the kitchen. Colin put a hand on his shoulder and yanked him back.

"Excuse me? Why would that be exactly?" he asked. Arthur let his head hit the cabinet behind him. He had a long day ahead of him.

"Because it's a stupid idea."

Even from outside the thick doors, he could hear England and Scotland fighting. Canada hesitated, wondering if he could find a hotel nearby. America didn't give him time to think it over and opened the door.

"I want a divorce."

"We aren't even married, you twit."

"Scotland and England are fighting. It must be the holidays," he said cheerfully. England and Scotland stopped arguing, Wales looked up from his newspaper, and Ireland seemed terribly confused to see Alfred happy. Alfred put the presents down under the tree.

"Why does everyone look so down? Did someone die?"

Canada cringed. He'd have to remember this next time he thought giving Alfred some alcohol would help the situation any. Everyone was appropriately shocked by his callous remark. Ireland recovered first.

"Any particular reason you decided to come here this year? I would have thought you'd stay home, given the circumstances," Ireland asked. England glared daggers into Ireland for asking him directly. Canada couldn't work up the courage to admit that talking to America wasn't such a good idea right now. Alfred's smiled faded and he plopped onto the couch next to Wales.

"Obama wanted me to take a break. Canada suggested coming here. I went along with it because I didn't feel like throwing a party this year."

Ireland nodded. England and Scotland sat on opposite sides of the couch, Scotland next to America and England next to Wales. Canada sat in one of the arm chairs that put him as far from the rest of the family as possible while staying comfortable.

"Honestly, I hope the Mayans are right because I'm tired of dealing with you people."

No one took the bait at first, but it became obvious to Canada that England wasn't sure how to deal with Alfred's sudden change in attitude. Much to Canada's dismay, his first instinct was to talk him out of it.

"I know things haven't been going so well, but everything will be okay," England said. America laughed, spilling some of his stolen hot cocoa.

"No, it won't, and I'm tired of pretending for you people. So, by all means go argue, I don't care," he said. Ireland raised an eyebrow. Canada closed his eyes and hoped no one else would speak. He wanted to go back to the silence already.

"When exactly did Alfred turn into a psychopath?"

"When exactly did you grow out your hair to hide your earphones?"

"Erm, it's not that I don't like all of you, but I like you better when I can't hear you," Ireland explained.

"Don't worry about it, nice that some of us make an effort not to fight during the holidays," Wales said causing both Scotland and England to glare at him.

"Yes because looking at a dirty magazine and hiding it under a newspaper is so much better," England snapped. Wales closed the newspaper and wacked England with it.

"Scotland's right you need to learn to shut up," Wales said.

"And maybe, you should stop fucking sh-" England started to say before America interrupted.

"Oh God, England stop talking. I can go upstairs and find a hell of a lot more where that came from under your floorboards," America said. This time, Scotland hit England upside the head.

"So, that's where my magazines went. You threw them out, ha, liar" Scotland said. Ireland raised a hand.

"Is no one wondering why America was checking the floor boards in the first place?" Ireland asked.

"Let's all calm down. This is not the time to talk about these things," England said. America smirked.

"So, it's totally appropriate to bring something up that you know will cause an argument, but we can't talk about porn," he said. England covered his face to hide his reddening face. Canada felt himself turn invisible. Oh dear.

"Don't say that," England said.

"Porn.""Porn.""Porn." They all said simultaneously.

"Would you all stop saying porn," Canada shouted. Everyone shut up, except for America who laughed. Matthew would bet some of them had forgotten he was there in the first place.

"Scotland, no matter what happens, you are still going to have close ties to England. That's okay. So, please don't you two argue about this all of next year too," he said. Scotland nodded and after being ribbed by Wales, England did as well.

"And America, I've tried not to say anything, but shut up. The world is not going to end tomorrow, bad things happen to everybody, and everything will be okay because I say so!" Canada said, panting afterwards.

"Yes, dictator Canada," he said, making a less than politically correct salute.

"In hindsight, it was a good thing Germany declined our Christmas invitation," England said, retreating into the kitchen.

"Why? Why can't you be happy like you always are? Can't you wait to have a breakdown until after the holidays?" Canada asked America.

"Because it's hard, and you gave me alcohol," he said. Canada froze. America had ratted him out.

"Canada, how could you? You're the good one," Scotland said. Canada lowered his head in shame. It had seemed like a good idea at the time.

"We don't pick favorites Scotland. We've talked about this," England shouted from the kitchen.

"Tell that to Australia, you never pay him a lick of attention," Wales said to England.

"I do too,"England said.

"Did you offer to let him stay with us when America and Canada said they were coming for the holidays?" Wales asked.

"Well no but-" England said.

"See. I didn't even want kids. This is exactly why I want a divorce. I don't get enough say in these things," Scotland said.

"For the last time, we aren't married you twit," England yelled.

"I want to go with Scotland if the divorce goes through," Wales said, joining the feud. Canada gave up hope and sat back down. The only reason Ireland wasn't joining in was because he couldn't hear what was going on.

"Don't even think about it," England said.

"Everyone put a sock in it!" America shouted. They all turned to face him.

"And you suddenly care why?" Scotland asked.

"Because you made Canada upset, and he is the one person in the world who cares enough to check on me no matter what's going on in my life. He left his polar bear behind and brought me here knowing full well we were entering holiday hell," America said, taking a deep breath.

"So, for the next few hours, we are going to pretend to get along," America said, getting up.

"That means no earphones," he said, yanking Ireland's earphones.

"No porn," he said, shaking out the magazine from Wales's newspaper.

"And no arguing," he said, dragging England back into the living room.

"You don't really have to-"

"Canada, pick a game. We can play monopoly, Doctor who parcheesi, or Uno," he said, taking some of England's board games from the closet. Canada decided they needed a way to vent.

"Monopoly," he said. Everyone groaned, and America started setting up the board.

"Why not? The economy's already shot to hell. Let's have a little fun, screwing each other over," America said smartly.

A while later after the game ended and they prepared to turn in, Canada pulled America aside.

"So when exactly did you sober up?" Canada asked.

"Around the time England and Scotland were discussing the terms of their divorce," America said.

"Do you really think it's hopeless?" Canada asked. He hadn't realized the problem might run that deep. If he didn't think they would make it, these disasters could serve as a catalyst for America to have a real breakdown. Alfred shook his head.

"If I did, I wouldn't be here. I'd be shut up in my room, wallowing in my own self pity. That said, I worry about the future, same as everyone else," America said.

Alfred had a point. Matthew knew Alfred could have easily turned him down and shut him out if he wanted to. He shouldn't have tried to put a band aid over Alfred's feelings. What America needed was time and he'd ignored that in favor of a good time this holiday season.

"I'm sorry I took you to the pub," Canada said. America laughed, and it was much less cynical than the ones that had come before it.

"I bet you are. Do me a favor and try to talk to me before taking extreme measures. I won't ignore you forever. I know it's hard to believe, but sometimes I need time to think," America said.

"Yeah, this isn't exactly my shining moment," Canada said. Thankfully, he knew the family wouldn't be in a hurry to bring up this particular incident again if ever. America patted his back.

"Night Canada."

"Good night America."

Canada laid down on his bed and looked up at the ceiling. Well, if the world did end tomorrow, Canada couldn't say that his last day on earth wasn't eventful. He had won the monopoly game.