Disclaimer: In a world where JK Rowling does not exist, I might have written the Harry Potter books. (I rather doubt it, though.) This isn't that world.

A/N: This story is a prequel to "The Talk", but it can easily stand on its own.

Chapter One: Deception

The problem with Hogwarts, Rose Weasley thought in frustration, is that I have entirely too many family members here.

This had never bothered her before. In her earlier years she'd been glad to have so many familiar faces around. And even though she'd occasionally been irritated by their overprotectiveness, it had been nice knowing that there would always be someone to take her side.

Now, though…

"How many relatives do you have?" Scorpius asked in disbelief, as they ducked into yet another corner.

"Far too many," Rose said, panting for breath.

Sneaking around had been exciting… at first. Now it was just a pain in the arse.

"At Hogwarts? Let's see…" she said, counting names off on her fingers, "There's Dominque, Louis, Roxanne, Fred, Lucy, Molly, James, Al, Lily, Lysander, Lorcan – Hugo, of course –"

"Of course," Scorpius agreed solemnly.

"– Alice, Colin, Frankie, Thomas, Aunt Angelina, and Uncle Neville."

"Sweet Merlin," Scorpius breathed, "I always forget how prolific you Weasleys are."

"To be fair, they aren't all related to me by blood," Rose pointed out, knowing better than to take offence at his comment.

"They might as well be," Scorpius groused.

Yes, Rose Weasley had entirely too many family members at Hogwarts… and they'd all chosen today to patrol the corridors, or so it felt.

"Shite; duck!" Rose hissed upon spotting a head of distinctive Delacour hair. "Dom's coming in this direction."

With a quiet groan, she and Scorpius did their utmost to blend into the stone walls.

A minute later, it was safe again.

"Why don't we try the Room of Requirement?" Scorpius asked.

"It's worth a try," Rose agreed with little hope.

Carefully, they crept up to the seventh floor.

"Occupied?" Scorpius sputtered upon seeing the sign on the stone wall. "How the hell can it be occupied?"

"Take a guess," Rose muttered.

"Urgh," Scorpius said in return. "Thanks for the mental images."

Raising an eyebrow, Rose said virtuously, "That's all you and your dirty mind, Scorpius. I never suggested anything so sordid."

Smirking, Scorpius replied, "Neither did I. Guess I'm not the only one with a dirty mind."

"Fine, so the Room's out," Rose said, trying valiantly to hold back a Weasley blush. "What about the grounds?"

"It's raining, Rose," Scorpius said slowly.

"Which means that no one else will be out there," Rose returned.

"Yeah, but it's raining. And cold."

"Which is why we'll wear bundle up and use charms," Rose said placidly.

"No. There has to be somewhere else in the castle," Scorpius insisted. "Don't suppose you could nick your cousin's Cloak?"

"What, and add theft to my list of crimes?" Rose mock-gasped. "I like the way you think. Unfortunately, I don't know the Gryffindor password. Besides, James keeps that thing locked up tighter than a goblin's gold."

"There has to be a nice empty, dry, out-of-the-way classroom somewhere around here," Scorpius said stubbornly.

"Fine, you big baby," Rose said rolling her eyes. "We'll stay inside. But for your information, I know perfectly well why you don't want to go out today."

Scorpius looked at her questioningly and said, "Er… because it's the second great flood out there right now?"

"You're afraid that the rain will muss your precious hair," Rose scoffed. "You're as vain as a common fairy, you know that, right?"

"First of all, it's not vanity if it's justified," Scorpius said, absently patting his carefully 'windblown' locks. "Secondly, I'll have you know that even if I were somehow transfigured into a fairy, I would never be a common one."

"And that's not vain at all," Rose muttered with tolerant amusement. "So, which floor should we try next?"

"Why not give the dungeons a go?" he suggested. "Maybe one of the extra potions brewing rooms? Almost none of your family ventures in there."

It was true. While Al was in Slytherin, he was nearly as dismal at Potions as his father had supposedly been; besides, he already knew about them. And the members of her family who did like brewing potions were unlikely to do so there, especially on a Saturday afternoon.

"The dungeons it is," she agreed cheerfully.

Using their combined knowledge of Hogwarts' secret passages, they managed to sneak down to the dungeons without encountering a single Weasley relation.

"OK, I'll check the first ten rooms if you check the others," Rose whispered.

Scorpius nodded in agreement and they cautiously crept along the dungeon corridor, peeking into brewing room after brewing room. Numbers 1 – 4 were all occupied, but 7 – 16 were completely vacant.

Scorpius jerked his head in direction of 16's door and Rose grinned and gave him a thumbs-up of approval. Best to be as far from other people as possible.

No sooner had Rose eased shut the door to a deserted Brewing Room #16, then Scorpius muttered, "Finally! Peace and privac– mmph."

She had cut him off by immediately applying her lips to his. Privacy was difficult to come by at Hogwarts, after all, and this was particularly true if you were a Weasley; you had to take advantage of it whilst it was available.

Soon she was lost to the world, her arms linked around his neck and his hands firmly interlaced in her hair. Numb to everything but the frissons of pleasure coursing through her, Rose didn't hear the creaking of the door until it was too late.

"Rose?" a familiar voice said disbelievingly. "Scorpius?"

Shite.