Just Another Love Song

Summary: Buffy's man sings her an unusual love song to win her heart and another one to propose to her.

Timeline: post-part of the comics for BtVS; AU for TBBT in that Buffy moves into 4B with Penny (it has the same floor plan as 4A).

Warning: spittake maybe?

A/N: The songs that Sheldon 'wrote' are really by Tim Minchin, but they sound so much like Sheldon that I had to do it. I slightly changed the lyrics for the first song.

Thanks to my betas: none.

Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. TBBT characters belong to Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady and CBS. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission. Songs performed by Tim Minchin as stated above; not sure if he wrote them, however.

The beginning of Buffy Summers and Sheldon Cooper

The surprise wasn't necessarily that Buffy was getting married – although the Council betting pools about that were giving 25-to-1 odds that she couldn't get through the entire ceremony without supernatural interruption – but rather the man she was marrying wasn't even remotely close to her usual type.

It all started when Harmony attempted to put a lovable face on vampires so the Slayers would be regarded as vicious killers. Harmony's success only lasted as long as it took for a somewhat renowned (in the science community) theoretical physicist by the name of Sheldon Cooper to make a webcast pointing out the flaws of Harmony's explanation that they were innocent victims of the Slayers' Council. The video went viral and after Buffy was caught on camera by one of Sheldon's friends saving him from Harmony, the pro-vampire community dried up like a mummified Egyptian.

The friendship that began between the blonde and the geek confounded everyone who knew the pair. Despite being a college dropout when they first met and not having the slightest interest in either science or science fiction, Buffy managed to land the 'coveted' role as one of Sheldon's limited number of friends.

Over the next couple of years, he grew accustomed to her presence in his life, and he was shocked into action when he almost lost her to another man. Buffy wasn't looking to date, and she knew Sheldon's limitations when it came to personal relationships, but then Angel showed up, newly human again after receiving his Shanshu. For the first time in years, she was torn about which part of her heart she should listen to: the nostalgic part who remembered her first love, or the part that said that while she would always love Angel, she was in love with somebody new.

Her roomie, Penny Something-or-Other, literally smacked the sense into Sheldon before telling him that if he didn't want to lose Buffy to her ex, he had to make a grand gesture to declare his feelings for her. To that end, he composed a song for her and sang it at the Cheesecake Factory bar…after several slutty, diet 'virgin' Cuba Libres, of course. Penny got Buffy there without Angel around to make things even more confusing.

"Buffy, you know how I feel about typical love songs, but I had to write one for you," he began nervously. "I don't believe in love at first sight, but if the feeling exists, it has to develop over time."

You grew on me like a tumor

And you spread through me like malignant melanoma
And now you're in my heart
I should've cut you out back at the start

…

When we first met you seemed fickle and shallow
But my armor was no match for your poison arrow
You are wedged inside my chest
If I tried to take you out now I might bleed to death
I'm feeling short of breath

…

Most of the crowd was horrified at the lyrics he sang, and even his own friends thought he was insane – no matter what the test said years ago when his mother had him tested – for comparing the woman he cared about to health problems. It was like he wanted her to go back to her ex or something!

To their shock, Buffy started crying and raced up to the stage. "I love you, too, Sheldon!" she exclaimed in between sobs. The cancer thing reminded her of her mother, but she understood that it was the easiest comparison for Sheldon to make. While painful, it was a typical Sheldon way to express his emotions.

A short-ish time later…

Once Sheldon decided that he wanted a relationship with Buffy, he studied the proper things to do and drew up a schedule for dating up to and including when he would propose marriage. For the most part, Buffy put up with his unusual tendencies. She did say no to the relationship agreement that stipulated their actions as significant others, though.

They had their ups and downs during the courtship. Times when he would cross the line with his tactlessness, or when she would say the wrong thing about a topic that he cared about deeply…like thinking that Janeway was the best captain from the Star Trek franchises, even though she didn't command an Enterprise. It took getting an autographed tricorder from Nichelle Nichols (the original Uhura) to get her out of the doghouse that time. His best-received efforts to make up involved him humbling himself to Buffy – like the time that he made her breakfast in bed for a week…despite his personal feelings of how unhygienic it was to eat in bed.

In true Sheldon fashion, he wrote her another song that carried his own special brand of romanticism. In front of her family and friends, he sang:

Yeah, yeah
If I didn't have you

…

And look, I'm not undervaluing what we've got when I say
That given the role chaos inevitably plays in the inherently flawed notion of "fate"
It's obtuse to deduce that I've found my soulmate at the age of twenty-seven
It's just mathematically unlikely that at a university in Pasadena
I happened to stumble on the one girl on Earth specifically designed for me

And if I may conjecture a further objection, love is nothing to do with destined perfection
The connection is strengthened, the affection simply grows over time
Like a flower
Or a mushroom
Or a guinea pig
Or a vine
Or a sponge
Or bigotry
... or a banana

…

When he finished singing, he pulled out a ring with a violet stone on it. On the stone was an emblem familiar to any DC comic fan…or the people who hung out with them. "Buffy, this ring is a replication of one of the most precious things in the world to me. It has a Tanzanite stone – even though the salesperson said it wasn't a hard enough stone to put in a ring – to symbolize the violet power ring in the Lantern Corps; the power of love. Will you accept this ring and become my wife?"

This time, nobody was shocked when she ran to him and forced him into a public display of affection that left both of them breathless.

The question that everyone had was: what kind of song would he come up with for their silver or gold anniversary?

A/N: First song was 'You Grew On Me' and the second one was 'If I Didn't Have You'.