A/N I've never actually wrote for Ashley, and sorry if she seems... OOC, but to be honest ever since that ending in ME3 I felt sad knowing my Shepley pairing was done forever. I was sorta feeling nostalgic I suppose and went to replay the whole trilogy. There really isn't anything that needs to be known, Shepard is fully paragon with a slight Bad-ass side. Romanced Ash through all the games, well if you can count that 'romance' in ME2. I absoulutly LOVE this pairing, and to be honest, not a big shenko shipper... I ship most everything but Shenko. I know this is short, but I wanted to just get this out, get this started, i have the next chapters under review so expect more! reviews are helpful guys! I mean Pwetty pwease wiith a cherry on top? With shaved chocolate, and whipped cream? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before the explosion blasted him, he saw four people. Four people that just so happened to be the most important .All these images triggered some sort of hidden memory inside him. Instead of his whole life, only the brightest parts broke the surface.

Joker and Garrus, his best friends. The two people that followed him to hell and back so readily, by his side every step of the way, faced him. Garrus's mandibles spread in a slight smirk, while Joker mouthed off one of his witty, sarcastic, and usually funny, remarks. Shepard remembers the memory, very well in fact. All these images triggered some sort of hidden memory inside him. Instead of his whole life, only the brightest parts broke the surface.

"Welcome aboard Commander, how nice of you to join us!" Joker said, his chair swiveling. An enormous smirk on his face.

"Agreed, Shepard, you've been holed in your cabin all day." Garrus drawls, raising a talon to his face and just resting it.

"Haha, very funny. You know well enough, EDI locked me in. Speaking of which... EDI?" He called anger rising into his voice.

"Yes, Commander Shepard?" And she sounded... somewhat innocent, however she was most definitely not. Damn the AI's and whoever thought them up first, Shepard couldn't help but think.

"Well," The Commander clears his throat, "You wouldn't have happened to lock my quarters, from the outside, have you?" He asked.

"Of course, Commander. The tests I ran said that there was only a 95.6218% chance you would act in a hostile way." The AI answered, without missing a beat. "And I ran that test twenty-five point five times. Joker told me that it would be a good, 'practical joke,' and that 'The Commander could use some laughter'"

Shepard sighed, and asked the most obvious question. Not before sending a very harsh glare at Joker.

"Alright, twenty-five point five?"

"Yes, I am analyzing another test, as we speak." Joke and Garrus finally let loose the laugh that burned throughout them, so obviously. Shepard finally let the stern expression that was on his face fade and smiled. They were heading off to the Collectors Base soon, it would help to laugh a bit. Then he felt a deep pain in his chest... This picture was missing many people...

Anderson, Shepard's father figure since he was 17. After Mindoir, Anderson helped Shepard deal with the death of his whole family, and then some. Shepard grew close to his Alliance mentor. His memory of Anderson was after the Battle of The Citadel. After all the meetings, and celebrations, Shepard met with Anderson. There was a certain aura around Anderson, he was happy, cradling an alcoholic beverage, and smiling. He mouthed the words "I'm proud of you'.

"Well I'll be damned, the zombie returns!" The Admiral jokes, smiling widely, his hand wrapped around a cold looking glass.

"Yeah." Was the only thing Shepard could say. He was happy it was over, but a little more than anxious. He needed to talk to someone... not someone, but her.

"I know, I'm probably keeping you from a huge party, celebration, whatever." Anderson stood abruptly. Walking around the table and engulfing his protege in a warm hug.

"I'm proud of you son." And with that Shepard wrapped his arms around Anderson, giving him a hug, like a son would a father. The tears couldn't help but form in both their eyes. Though they would probably tease each other if he saw the tears in the other's eyes

Shepard felt himself grimace, the physical pain those two memories brought, was unrelenting.

Blam! Blam! A red flash. The tube almost decimated, almost

Then she flashed before his eyes. Shepard would be doing it all again. Dying on her and he knew it damn well. Shepard's step faltered for a second. She was in casual clothes, a red and black jacket covering her, a blank tank-top underneath, even in her civvies she was working. Assembling and cleaning a pistol. She turned and mouthed the words 'Skipper' A twinkle in her eyes and a smile dancing across her full lips. It was before their huge talk, a week or so before he died.

"You didn't come in last night." Shepard said, frowning slightly. He and Ashley have certainly well past the awkward talks. Or so Shepard thought. Ashley slowly turned back to her work, and placed the pistol she was holding onto tightly down.

"I know." Was all she said as she broke down the gun swiftly. Shepard inwardly groaned. Not past the awkward talks yet? He made it very clear that he wanted to be with her. Then again, there was a sliver of doubt, what if her career really does take over, what if she decides it's not worth it. And Shepard couldn't help but gulp. He leaned against her workbench, contemplating the things he could say. Instead a stupid one syllable word slipped out.

"Oh." Shepard paused as he watched Ashley quickly clean each piece, and set it aside in a very fluid motion. Shepard had the urge to clasp his hands over hers forcing her to stop. He begrudgingly pushed it down.

"Any reason as to why?" Shepard said using a stern authoritative voice. It seemed the only way to get through to her. Ashley looked up at him under a cocked eyebrow.

"Any reason as to why you wanna know," there was a short pause before she added, "Sir?" Shepard stood straight up, and couldn't help but let his frown deepened.

"Fine then. I should go." Shepard said, he couldn't help the disappointment that washed over him. Ash let him go with a murmur, that sounded oddly like a string of curses. Shepard pressed the corresponding button for his quarters and decided to bury himself in his work. He couldn't help but feel disappointed... Did she not want this? Did she... not even want it at all...

It was hours before he even looked up, he had many papers and reports to file. Now would be a good time to actually do them, he could let Pressly do them, but that would be rude, Pressly deserved time to himself. Shepard sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. The stress of the was intense he just stood up to stretch, when the door swished open, revealing a very worried Chief Williams.
She stepped forward her hands intertwined, and twiddling her thumbs,

"Shepard." She acknowledged, shuffling her feet closer to him. Shepard's voice caught in his throat along with his. Many questions danced in his mind. Ashley, had her hair in a loose bun most of her hair falling around her. Her hands were dirty from the old pistol parts she handled. She looked beyond any worry he'd ever seen.

"Williams?" Shepard asked, he was trying to be polite but the urge to embrace her was strong. Ashley quickly closed the distance in a few strides and grabbed Shepard's face in her hands, pulling his lips to hers. The kiss was quick and rough, just a confirmation that this was really happening.

"I'm..." Ashley starts, but is abruptly interrupted as Shepard presses gently into the small of her back, bringing her closer to him. This time Shepard leans down and kisses her gently, slowly confirming she wanted this. He gave her every chance to pull away, or push him. Nothing, if anything she fiercely kissed him back. Shepard pulled back, only because his body needed air. If he could live on Ashley's kisses, he certainly would.

"Stay?" He asks her, barely above a whisper as both of them heave for air. She smirks and pulls him to the bed.

"You know it, Skipper."
Shepard smiled but figured they should address one thing.

"Just a question." Shepard says, taking a step back. Ash frowns. "I mean... do you even, do you want to..." for Shepard to get tongue tied at a time like this was insane. His heart was beating and his palms a little sweaty. "You were pretty clipped on any answers when you were cleaning the guns." Shepard couldn't think of another way to word it. "I was thinking about, this," he gestures to the both of them. "I never even thought to ask. Are you sure you want this." he says expressing every word carefully. "I mean, it was 'spur of the moment' kinda thing, before Illos," Shepard sighed looking at Ashley .Her face was blank, and betrayed no emotion.

"So now?" Ash starts, calmly. "Now, you question whether or not we should do this. Shepard! Honestly!" She throws her hands up, angry expelling from her pores. Her voice slowly raising at each word. "What the hell! You want to question us, end this! Go ahead!" She was interrupted by Shepard.

"Hey! Don't say that!" Shepard scolded, grabbing her hands, "Its not that, I wanted to make sure you wanted this. I sure as hell do." Shepard said,
Ashley visibly gulped, "Why would I lie to you about that. I wouldn't come up for a..." Ash couldn't even say 'one night stand' suddenly she felt foolish.

"Of course I had my doubts." she said. With that Shepard frowns and tries to pull away, but she squeezes his hands. "Then I realized it was stupid, and completely threw any worry out the window." Ashley said softly. Shepard smirked and leaned down for a kiss. Ashley returned it with a moan of pleasure, stifled by Shepard's mouth.

Shepard pulls back and smiles a beautiful white smile, one that was never shown to anyone before. "Tell me more about your family, please."

No sound, just a bright red light, a light that forced Shepard to close his eyes. The flash danced across his eye lids. As quickly as it came, it left, Leaving Shepard to his darkness.

It was her turn, Ashley's turn to step up and put his name on the KIA memorial wall. Her eyes roamed over the list, stopping when she found the name she was looking for, Kaidan Alenko. Tears stung her eyes, threatening to spill over. An empty threat as luck would have it. They should have went back for him! She wanted to damn all the orders, but deep down inside, she knew, she wouldn't have been able too. That was what killed her the most.

'Damnit, Ashley thought No tears, not in front of everyone no. Not even later.' She blinked quickly, turning her head to everyone around her. Garrus, Traynor, Vega, Tali, Liara, Joker. Even Javik came up from his hole to pay respects to Shepard. It turned out that something happened to all Synthetics, and EDI, she was gone. The look of pure sadness on Joker's face was evidence enough.

Ashley stepped closer to the wall, Shepard's name plate in her gloved hands. She moved her fingers around tracing his name. Commander John Shepard. Ashley thought back to all the good times they had, one particular memory stood out, it wasn't a very happy one, like after Illos, and before he died, it was actually quite depressing. It stood out the most though, passed all the good and into the bad.

"Take her," Shepard grunted, handing Ashley off to Garrus. She was hurt, no doubt about that, maybe a broken leg, and burns and scrapes from the vehicle exploding. "You have to get out of here," Shepard finished, stepping down the Normandy's ramp.

"With all due respect, sir." Ashley choked out. This wasn't happening, Shepard couldn't leave her, not now! Ash almost regrets saying how 'With all due respect, normally means kiss my ass.'

"Don't argue with me Ash," His blue eyes pleaded, begging her not to make it any harder. Well she did,

"Damn it," Ashley took a shaky breath feeling dizzy, wobbling on her feet. "I can do this!" She said. Garrus tried to tug her away, it didn't work out very well. She turned her head just enough to send Garrus a glare so dark, and evil, so venomous, even Garrus wasn't willing to push his luck.

"I know you can," Shepard said softly stepping up the ramp. "No matter, what the outcome is today, know this, I'll always love you Ash," Shepard whispered, his thumb smearing some of the wet blood underneath her eye. It wasn't hers, probably someone from the vehicle, but it didn't make Shepard's look of concern any easier to bear.

Damnit, there was so much left to be said, so much Ashley wished to make up for! Why couldn't he come with her on the Normandy, find another way! It wasn't completely impossible!

"Shepard, I..." Ash trailed off, her voice dying in her throat. Her words, the questions left unasked and unanswered, her uttermost spirit slowly dying. "I love you, too." She finished, raising her hand to cover his.
Shepard leaned forward suddenly, quickly capturing her lips in his. Not giving a damn who saw. The kiss was tender, sweet, filled with emotions both could not express with words. They both pulled back reluctantly. Garrus was looking the other way, giving the two as much privacy allowed on a battlefield. The other soldiers however, stood dumbstruck, well the ones that weren't firing anyways.

It made Ashley sick, knowing this may well be the last kiss they shared. The last time his lips captured hers, making her legs wobble and her heart beat faster and faster. 'Damn love, damn it all straight to hell.' Ashley couldn't help but think. Thankfully Garrus still supported her, her legs felt like a mush of useless junk, just kinda welded onto her body. Shepard though, stood tall and commanding, not like Ashley. Hell, Ashley could blame the wobbling and lack of her usual sarcastic remark, on the injuries. But the present was much too serious for anything like that. Shepard stood tall in his more than likely death sentence.

Shepard whispered in Ashley's ear. "Find your family, be happy." One last peck on the lips and Shepard backed up heading back into battle. She was letting the first real love of her life go. Go off while she retreated and she hated every second of it. She held onto his hands as he walked backwards never blinking or turning from her eyes. Both eyes wet with unspilled tears.
Shepard finally broke eye contact and saw Harbinger. The red laser where it's eye would be, heating up.

"GO! NOW!" Shepard yelled as he stepped off the ramp. Glancing back as Ashley's gloved hand reached out. It visibly broke him, the slump of his shoulders and the worry lines on his forehead became more defined. The fact that she was so hurt, and still wanted to fight it made it impossible to look her in the eye. Shepard mumbled to himself. Expecting Ash not to hear, oh she did, and it made it 10 times harder to leave. Garrus literally dragged Ashley from the ramp and pulled her back into the Normandy.

She was brought back to reality, a place she didn't want to be, by the sounds of some people leaving, saying their goodbyes. Ash put the nameplate down, near the bottom, not sticking it up yet. She leaned it haphazardly against the wall. Walking to the elevator right behind her, and heading up to the Captains Quarters. Alone, something she wanted, and needed, but desperately feared, it would mean her emotions would be out in the open. To the room and the sheets, the smells of him, were all over that room. But she couldn't think of another place to go without being in the way. A part of her knew, she wasn't going to get any sleep for a long while, especially in a bed that she just shared with him. No, she could lay there for a long, long time, but no God or Goddess would bless her with a dreamless sleep.