A/N: This has been a blast. Thank you guys so much. I hope it's been as much fun to read as it was to write!

Ain't that a Kick in the Head

Epilogue

Quinn shuffled along the red carpet behind Rachel and Kurt, graceful and quiet and wincing with every step. Her toes had gone numb in the limo, somewhere between Rachel's house and the theater, but her strappy heels were still in violent disagreement with the backs of her feet. She wondered how inappropriate it would be to just kick them off.

All eyes, all cameras and flashes and lights, were on Rachel. Quinn was there to float along at her side and jump into pictures when requested, to return Rachel's giddy smiles and carry her purse. Getting rid of her shoes wouldn't be that scandalous.

She wore a deep blue, knee length designer dress – mildly frightening for her – and her hair was styled into waves that messily framed her flushed face. Rachel's jaw had dropped when she'd first seen it, when her stylist had dragged a reluctant Quinn from the guest bedroom before leaving.

"You're beautiful," she'd whispered, wide eyes taking in the whole look.

Tina frowned at her. "I'm sorry, are you – are you Quinn Fabray?"

Quinn had grinned down at her shoes-from-hell and proudly informed, "And I managed to get all the sand off."

Rachel smiled wordlessly, lips pressed together. She was stunning in her own dress, an Anything Goes inspired navy blue and white striped thing that clung tightly and ended just below her knee. She stood on her tiptoes and held Quinn's face and kissed her deeply, and then pulled back laughing at her makeup artist's groan.

On the red carpet, Rachel looked back at Quinn with a wide grin. She whispered something to Kurt and then hurried over, ignoring his protests.

"Time to go home?" Quinn wondered, checking a watch that she didn't have.

Rachel scoffed and wrapped an arm around her waist, waving graciously at everybody on the other side of the metal barrier. Quinn's smile was genuine, and her gaze and attention would be focused on Rachel in the majority of pictures that were taken.

"Don't take off your shoes until we're back in the car," Rachel instructed knowingly, pulling Quinn to where Kurt was.

Quinn scoffed. "Are you kidding? I love these. They're never coming off."

Literally, never, because they were becoming one with her feet.

Rachel snorted a laugh and then collected herself and brightly greeted the reporter Kurt had placed them in front of. She held Quinn's hand and smiled while he introduced himself. Quinn was solid and steady, her index finger tapping against Rachel's hand the only indication of her nerves.

"You both look gorgeous tonight, and it's so exciting," the reporter gushed, "are you having a good time?"

"Absolutely!" Rachel exclaimed immediately. "We're so – you know, no matter how many premieres I attend they're always so overwhelming, and we're just thrilled that everybody finally gets to see the movie!"

Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand, "Tell them about your episode earlier."

"Oh yes!" Rachel gestured excitedly. "Okay, listen, I'm a calm person – "

Quinn pulled a face at the camera and Rachel ignored her.

"But I stepped out of the car when we first arrived and I bumped into somebody, and he apologized profusely and complimented my dress, and then he got, like, five steps away before I realized it was Tom Hanks! I have never been so – I was – I couldn't –"

"You were in a state," Quinn contributed, laughing.

Rachel nodded quickly, "I keeled over. Quinn carried me up the carpet."

The reporter chuckled along, checking that his cameraman was getting everything.

"Can you take us back to the beginning, Rachel, and tell us why you wanted this role? What was special about it for you?"

Rachel's eyes flashed deliberately up to Quinn's.

"Anything Goes is just such a classic, and I'm a huge fan of Cole Porter, of course." Rachel said, talking with her free hand. "And it has a long, proud history, and such a great comedic storyline and upbeat songs that are just a blast to sing, so it was the perfect fit for me."

"You'll be bringing it to a whole new generation," the reporter commented.

Rachel's eyes lit up. "Exactly! You know, every movie is somebody's favorite, and Anything Goes is so beloved that I just hope I haven't wrecked it for anybody."

Rachel laughed wryly as she said this, and Quinn stepped closer and snuck an arm around her waist.

"I was in Florida after I auditioned, and honestly the story just became closer and closer to my heart, until there was no way I couldn't do it."

Quinn hummed quietly, a proud smile on her face.

The reporter thanked them and Kurt stepped in to herd them up the rest of the carpet. Quinn enjoyed the novelty of the whole charade, and she occupied herself by pointing things out to Rachel, like the fans with a giant cutout of Rachel's face pulling a ridiculous expression.

"I'm going to make some of those to hang around the house," she made sure to inform her girlfriend.

They were nearing the end of the carpet when Quinn realized that Rachel had become oddly quiet. The wide, overjoyed smile that showed off her dimples was still fixed on her face.

Quinn caught Rachel's wrist before she could enter the building. She lifted an eyebrow and held Rachel's affected gaze and gently wondered, "Head on straight, Rachel Berry?"

Rachel nodded silently, still smiling.

Quinn narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure?" she glanced down. "Is it your shoes? Because I say fuck 'em. Let's take them off, and then – "

Rachel loosed a watery laugh. "Leave your shoes on, baby."

Quinn sighed sadly, as loudly as possible.

"I was just wondering what I would be doing right now if I hadn't met you." Rachel admitted, playing with the bracelet around Quinn's wrist. She enjoyed this little corner of the carpet. The flashes and noise were fading as the guests headed inside and the rabble dispersed, waving their enormous Rachel Berry faces like a horrifying mob.

Quinn tipped her head, amused. Rachel wouldn't look her in the eye.

"I mean, what if I hadn't been stung by that jellyfish?"

"Man o' war," Quinn corrected.

Rachel looked up and rolled her eyes.

"You'd still be here," Quinn assured. It was easy. She knew it for a fact. "Maybe I would be too."

Rachel squeezed her hands, pleased with that.

"I'd waited years." Quinn reminded. "I would've found a way to talk to you."

"Couldn't stay away, huh?"

"Okay, big head." Quinn chuckled.

Rachel's expression shifted abruptly. "Quinn Fabray, you are not printing those out!"

Quinn nodded appeasingly. She really wouldn't. She thought about doing massive cutouts of her own face, just to make Rachel laugh. She could use them to terrify her idiot employees.

She rested both hands on Rachel's hips and said, "If I weren't here, you'd still have that giant pug picture on your wall."

"Oh, that's going back up," Rachel hummed. "I'm getting it enlarged and mounting it on your side of the bed."

Quinn bit her tongue, trying not to smile. She liked having a side of the bed. She liked that Rachel had been more than willing to remove "Elton" from the wall. He lived in the master closet now, watching over countless rows of Rachel's shoes.

"You'd also have a lot more free time," Quinn mused. She rubbed at the goosebumps on Rachel's arms and leaned closer. "And you'd be having a lot less sex."

"Quinn," Rachel hissed, lightly pushing her backwards.

Quinn whimpered at the pain from her shoes and Rachel immediately pulled her forward again.

"Sorry, baby," Rachel whispered, "But shut your face."

"What? What is it?" Quinn asked loudly. She upped her volume and wondered, "I can't say sex?"

Rachel scoffed and turned to enter the theater, glancing around to see if anybody was listening.

"Sex, Rachel? Sex?" Quinn trailed after her, smiling. "Simmer down, Rachel Berry."

Rachel spun on her heel and held up her hand as a stop sign. Quinn let herself run into it and then gently gripped Rachel's wrist and linked their fingers together. It was warmer in the theater and Rachel was cool to the touch.

"Did you see where Kurt went?" Rachel asked, glancing around at the jumble of people.

Quinn shook her head and said, "I'd be a mess, just so you know."

Rachel looked up at her, confused.

"If we hadn't met," Quinn clarified. "Everything would just be in shambles."

Rachel smiled slowly. "It would not."

Quinn looked at her, hazel eyes bright and honest and affectionate, and smiled. She shrugged easily and shook away the hair falling into her eyes.

Rachel pouted. "Baby…"

Quinn spotted Kurt waving his arms halfway across the room and slid an arm around Rachel's waist to lead her over.

"Hey, goofy," Rachel pulled on her to get her to stop again.

"Don't call me that."

Rachel grinned. "All that matters is we did meet. And we're here now."

Quinn frowned, glancing around. She met Rachel's gaze again and asked, "Where are we?"

Rachel rolled her eyes and kissed her quickly and muttered, "Shut it," and then took Quinn's arm and headed for Kurt, mindful of her girlfriend's poor feet. When they were finally seated – between Kurt and Tina – Quinn removed her shoes. She settled in comfortably and leaned towards Rachel.

"I'm proud of you," she remarked, watching the dimple appear in Rachel's profile. She waited a moment and whispered, "Is there popcorn?" and then sat back in her seat, smiling proudly at Rachel's laughter.

…..

It was ten when the film ended and midnight by the time Rachel and Quinn left the after party. They sat in the back of the car leaning heavily against each other, a little drunk and a lot tired. Quinn's shoes were in Rachel's lap, her hand in Rachel's hair, absently running her fingers through it while Rachel purred against her.

"Can we stop at the beach?" Quinn whispered. Her breath was hot on Rachel's cheek, vodka and oranges.

"No, we're sleeping." Rachel denied, eyes closed.

"It won't take long. I have something – "

Rachel blindly reached a hand up to cover Quinn's mouth.

Quinn easily batted it away and held it down. "We're not sleeping yet."

"I am."

"I promise you're not." Quinn said, smiling.

Rachel scrunched up her face to open one eye. "Tomorrow, honey. Please."

Her hair had been tossed around all night and was thick and full and starting to curl. The one eye that Quinn could see was watery and exhausted, and her lips curled into a natural pout. It was all so precious that Quinn nodded silently and went back to dragging her fingers through Rachel's hair.

She hummed quietly, Sinatra's "Love and Marriage," and if Rachel had been entirely awake and sober, she might've been clued in to what was on Quinn's mind. As it was, she prodded Quinn's thigh with her hands and then slipped clumsily down to sleep with her head in her girlfriend's lap.

They peeled off their dresses as soon as they hit the bedroom. Rachel's dropped to the floor, but Quinn was still so paranoid about wrecking a designer dress that she hung them both back up in the closet. They washed off their make-up, pressed together and giggling tiredly in the master bathroom, and then crashed until Rachel was woken by the sun.

She rolled over and groaned and wrapped both arms around the soft blonde lump under the covers beside her.

"Quinn," she whispered, surprised at the hoarseness of her voice.

Quinn didn't respond. Her hair was in the same tangled state of disarray as Rachel's.

"Baby." Rachel said, louder. "Quinn."

Quinn released a long, low moan and mumbled, "Get lost," burrowing into her pillow.

Rachel chuckled and kissed the back of her head. "Let's go to the beach."

"Nope." Quinn wriggled out of Rachel's grasp and flopped over, kicking all the blankets off. She threw an arm over her eyes but still saw Rachel's face looming above.

"Did you have fun last night?"

Quinn shrugged vaguely. "It was alright."

Rachel sat up fully and crossed her legs, watching Quinn intently. "Just alright?"

"Yup."

Quinn bit her cheek. She could feel her girlfriend's eyes boring into her.

Rachel was silent for a moment, but then she pulled Quinn's arm away and leaned in so close that Quinn had to laugh, lolling her head to the side and against her pillow. Rachel smiled too, watching her fondly. She tucked a hand under Quinn's t-shirt and rubbed.

"So you wouldn't be opposed to doing that again?"

Quinn gasped quietly, her eyes bright in the morning sun. "You want to be in another movie?"

Rachel scratched against her stomach. "You're impossible, you know."

"I'm very possible," Quinn drawled.

Rachel tugged up Quinn's shirt and patted both hands lightly against her stomach like a drum. She stayed quiet, watching the rise and fall of her girlfriend's chest, soaking up the warmth and comfort of her fluffy bed at 7 AM.

"I love seeing you so happy, crazy." Quinn said after a while, observing Rachel. "Of course I'd do it again."

Rachel smiled widely and bounced a little bit to the beat she patted out on Quinn's belly.

"If you stop this nonsense." Quinn sat up abruptly and knocked her backwards, then settled fully on top of her while Rachel shrieked.

They were tangled in the sheets, and Quinn bounced and flung a leg around to free them. She kissed the corner of Rachel's lips, and then her chin, and stared down at her girlfriend. Rachel smelled like the coconut rum she'd discovered and thoroughly enjoyed last night and toothpaste.

"Beach?" Quinn said.

Rachel slipped her hands under the elastic of Quinn's shorts and squeezed, grinning. "In a minute."

…..

They dressed in easy, early morning things – cotton shorts and sweatpants and t-shirts, no shoes – and Quinn grabbed muffins from the kitchen to eat on their walk to the water. Rachel had managed to tame her own hair, but Quinn had just shaken out the major tangles and called it a day.

Only the surfers would be out so early anyway, and they were Quinn's people.

"Whah joo wandoo go do tha beach?" Rachel asked through a mouthful of muffin as they shuffled down the sidewalk.

Quinn nodded seriously. "Yes."

Rachel gave her a little hip-check.

"Why do I want to go to the beach?" Quinn checked. Rachel nodded, cheeks puffed out.

"I think we should be there for this."

Rachel narrowed her eyes, watching Quinn's lips pull up into a slight smile. "For what?"

Quinn shoved a third of her muffin in her mouth and tipped her head. "Whah?"

"What should we be there for?"

Rachel was getting excited. Her cryptic, vague, lazy-speaking girlfriend was hiding something.

Quinn swallowed, still frowning. "Be where?"

"God," Rachel shook her head, speeding up like she was planning on just leaving this ridiculous person behind. "You are so – you're insufferable. "

"Finish your muffin, baby." Quinn said, easily lengthening her stride and looping an arm through Rachel's. "No running away from me."

Quinn's own heart was starting to hammer. She finished her muffin and choked on it, and Rachel slowed her speed-walking pace so that Quinn could swallow properly. Quinn's hands had gone clammy by the time they reached the sand and she focused on breathing, thought of Sam and his stupid words of wisdom.

"Don't make it a spectacle," he'd said. "Just make it special for her. And don't put it in food because she'll choke and end up saying no because you're an idiot."

Her mom had said, "I'm thrilled for you, honey," unable to stop smiling.

Rachel's dads had nodded quickly, laughing, "Absolutely, yes, of course."

Santana had heaved a loud, exaggerated sigh, said, "Finally, Q," and then with a smile, "Tell Berry to give me a call after you do it."

Mike had proclaimed, "Holy shit!" and spent the rest of the Skype session bouncing in his seat.

Quinn knew they'd been on a journey with her, this band of morons. They were living this almost as fully as she was. She stopped walking when her heart was in her throat and she couldn't take another step. They were in the dry sand about a hundred yards away from the pier, and all Quinn could hear were the waves and the birds.

She thought about breaking into "Don't Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes" to remind Rachel how long she'd known her, but came to her senses fairly quickly.

Rachel was observing her closely, concerned. "Quinn?"

Quinn gave her a lop-sided smile. She gestured vaguely around and said, "I thought…the beach would be fitting."

Rachel remained silent, excitement bubbling up inside. She focused intently on Quinn.

It was terrifying, really, to dive right in. Quinn had no problems when it was an ocean, dark and cold and powerful, but this…Quinn licked her lips and wished she'd written some things to say on her hands – big black directions for what to do. She should've practiced. She thought of Rachel Berry, looked at Rachel Berry and her wide brown eyes, curled hair, concerned smile, still here after all this time.

And then Quinn dropped gracefully to a knee and jammed her hands into her shorts pockets.

"Oh my God," Rachel gasped. She pressed her hands to her mouth and glanced around to see if anybody else was witnessing this, if it was real. Her girlfriend was proposing to her in a faded turtle t-shirt. There was nobody there and she thought absurdly that she'd have no pictures of such a momentous occasion.

Quinn was having trouble though, checking and re-checking her pockets, her eyes boring into the sand.

"Shit," she muttered as her movements became more frantic, her voice louder. "Fuck!"

Rachel's hands dropped from her mouth and she bent over slightly. "Baby, baby."

Quinn looked up at her hopelessly, eyes watering. "I forgot the ring."

It really wasn't surprising, but Rachel decided against laughing for now.

Quinn moved like she was going to stand up, but Rachel held her shoulders gently so that she knew to stay put. Quinn exhaled sharply from her nose, angry with herself, and Rachel waited until she had her attention again.

"It's okay, baby." Rachel assured gently.

Quinn just watched her, jaw set.

Rachel reached into her sweatpants pocket and pulled out the velvet box she'd had for about a month. She smiled when Quinn's eyes widened, mouth parted.

Rachel held it out with a wide smile and trembling hand. "Use this one."

Quinn accepted it and examined it and blinked back her disbelief before looking up at Rachel again. She whispered, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Rachel snorted a laugh, shaking her head. She needed Quinn to do this quickly because she'd be falling apart soon. Quinn straightened up and shook her hair out of her eyes, held Rachel's gaze. She could feel her girlfriend vibrating, already overjoyed.

"I love you, Rachel Berry," Quinn said warmly, attempting to keep her hands steady. "Marry me?"

A loud, teary laugh worked its way out of Rachel's mouth as she nodded. She managed, "Yes," and her voice sounded foreign, but it was all Quinn needed. She felt abruptly overwhelmed like never before, like she'd gone off the rails. Rachel seemed to be feeling it too as she dropped down to hold onto her fiancé and sent them sprawling backwards in the sand.

She straddled Quinn's torso and gripped her face and kissed her clumsily, laughing. When she pulled back, she was full-on crying and Quinn reached up and held her cheeks, wiping at the tears.

"I can't believe you forgot the ring," Rachel said. She hadn't even bothered slipping on the one she bought for Quinn. It sat safely on the sand by their feet.

Quinn was unable to stop smiling. "I have memory problems, Rachel."

Rachel nodded, propping herself up with her hands in the sand on either side of Quinn's head, staring down at her.

"And you seduced me before we left," Quinn added.

"Don't blame me, goofy."

Quinn sat up, tipping Rachel off of her. Barefoot and covered in sand, she reached for the velvet box and slipped the ring onto her finger, admiring the simple diamond. Rachel watched her expression – mostly disbelief.

She squeezed Quinn's thigh and said, "If you lose that, you're not getting another."

"You'd get me another," Quinn murmured, mostly to herself as she examined the ring.

"I want to see mine." Rachel requested. She lay back in the sand, tapping her foot against Quinn's.

"What if you hate it?"

Rachel pulled on Quinn's t-shirt to get her to tip back into the sand. "It could be a cherry Ring Pop and I'd love it."

Quinn gasped, "How did you know?"

Rachel slapped her arm and then held her hand.

"It's not really candy," Quinn informed, playing with Rachel's fingers. "It's nice. I got it from that quarter machine outside the grocery store."

Rachel rolled her eyes, smiling.

"It was fifty cents, but I thought that extra quarter was worth it."

"Shut your face, Quinn." Rachel said, rolling to face her fiancé.

Quinn grinned at her. "I promise you'll love it."

Rachel hummed.

"I love you." Quinn said, and the timbre of her voice was so special and sweet that Rachel actually decided she'd be perfectly fine with a candy ring.

"Wait, were you actually planning on proposing?" Quinn wondered after a moment, struck with the idea.

Rachel kissed her furrowed brow, chuckling. "I love you too, baby."

My head keeps spinning
I go to sleep and keep grinning
If this is just the beginning,
My life is gonna be beautiful

Dean Martin – Ain't That a Kick in the Head