A/N: Something a little festive for the firefly crew :)

Mistletoe(s)

Summary: When Mal refuses to celebrate Christmas on his ship, Kaylee takes it upon herself to decorate Serenity how she deems fit: with a hint of mischief. Mal/Inara, Simon/Kaylee, Wash/Zoe.

"We're dreaming of unconditional love,
this is where we'll stay..."

-Amazing Atom, At the Skylines

She should have expected as much from her capt'n. Mal wasn't exactly the most festive of folk. Shepherd had warned her it wouldn't work. The undeniable tie to religion that this time of year brought with it was definitely a hindering quality for their faithless leader. Nonetheless, she had dressed her best, cleaned off the engine soot from her face and hands and had decided she'd try on some of Inara's charms that she'd picked up by watching the Companion. Of course, none of it worked and when it failed, she'd resorted to good old fashioned pouting and puppy eyes. But the capt'n was serious and he was puttin' his foot down on this one. Actually, it had come to be a rather touchy subject. Only been a handful of times she'd ever seen Mal that way and it were usually on intense jobs gone wrong and the like. Even then, he'd never used that tone of voice with her.

"I said no, Kaylee and that's my final word. My ship, my rules and no amount of sad faces gonna change that," He had stated, staring at her intently, daring her to defy him one more time.

Hurt and angry, she had tried giving him the cold shoulder, ignoring him when he spoke to her and not answering him when he came a knockin' in the engine room. Even at dinner, she made it an effort to speak to everyone but the capt'n, just to prove her point. Mal put up with it for a little while but when it came to his ship, he eventually lost his temper and that made things worse.

"How's that compression coil doin', Kaylee?"

Silence.

"I suppose it's about time for a new one, don't you think? The next job ought to cover it."

She worked louder, drowning him out.

"Still upset about that Christmas thing, I see. Well, you can pout all you gorram like but I ain't changin' my mind. Keep this up and I'll just have to find me another mechanic."

With that, he had stormed out, leaving Kaylee to look back after him, wondering if maybe she'd crossed a line. It weren't like she was askin' for much. Just a small celebration with the crew that she'd come to know as family. No one said anythin' about prayin' or goin' to Sunday mass. What was so bad about havin' a good time together over some food and drink? Kaylee wasn't going to let the capt'n win this one. He needed to lighten up every now and then. But after their little confrontation in the engine room, it seemed Mal was in a worse mood than usual. He went around mutterin' to himself under his breath and wearin' a permanent scowl. Even Inara tried warnin' him of wrinkles if he kept his brows creased like that but Mal was in no spirit to humor her. Kaylee figured things were somethin' awful if Inara couldn't even get Mal to pay attention.

Classy lady that she was, Inara had waited until everyone had fallen asleep before she approached Kaylee in the engine room. She'd never admit it, but she worried about the capt'n more than anyone else on the ship ever did. It was a shame that the only one who didn't know that were the capt'n himself. But when Inara had paid the engineer a visit, Mal and the rest of 'em were fast asleep. Kaylee was the only one up, still tinkering away at her baby, makin' sure she was flyin' safe and steady. It also helped calm her nerves and gave her somethin' else to think about other than the fight she was in with her boss. Dwellin' on it only seemed to get her angrier with him, anyways.

"Working this late, mei-mei?" Inara had asked sweetly, hovering by the entry to the engine room.

Kaylee removed her goggles and rested them messily atop her head, brown hair sticking up at odd angles. She looked at Inara and smiled, feeling dirty compared to the clean and sharp Companion. Inara was dressed in her night clothes, satin pink and rich gold, slits high enough to show off her thighs and hips. Most of what she wore was sheer and her sun kissed skin was left exposed for all eyes to see. Her ebony hair was sitting atop her head in a loose bun, a few curls escaping to brush her dainty shoulders. Kaylee wiped her hands on her pants rather self consciously. If she only had Inara's flare, maybe she'd have gotten Simon into her bunk by now. Or at least get the good doctor to look at her the same way Mal looked at Inara.

"Just givin' the girl a quick little check-up, make sure she's flyin' true is all. Why are you up so late, 'Nara?" Kaylee questioned.

Inara walked inside, bare footed, and smoothed her skirts before sitting down on a surface she deemed clean enough.

Her dark eyes sparkled when she looked up at Kaylee and said, "I've been worried about you and Mal."

"Everything's shiny, 'Nara! Nothin' to fret over," Kaylee lied, smiling and brushing it off.

"Mei-mei, talk to me. I don't think I've ever seen you this upset with Mal since he mocked that dress you wanted to wear. And the only person capable of putting Mal in this sort of mood is..." Inara drifted off, suddenly unsure of finishing her sentence.

Her expression was pained and she looked down at the ground, hands resting on her lap. Kaylee didn't need Inara to say it, anyways. She got the gist of it. Things between the capt'n and Inara were always a little strained, complicated. Kaylee thought it were nothin' a good tumble in bed wouldn't solve but they were both way too stubborn to acknowledge any of that. However, if Mal would only just listen to Kaylee about the Christmas idea, it could bring him a little closer to Inara. Good food and drink mixed with a bit of holiday spirit always had people in a sharing mood. More of a reason for Kaylee to fight the good fight, even if she was losin'.

She twiddled her fingers nervously when she spoke, "What's so wrong with wantin' to celebrate with everyone? We'd have a decent meal instead of protein. I could brew up some more wine, too. Jayne'd like that. And then there's River. Christmas must have some fond memories for the girl. And seein' her happy would make Simon happy."

Inara's smile returned and she leaned forward, "There's nothing wrong with that, Kaylee. I think it's a good plan, actually. But perhaps you need to take a different approach. Maybe you should try to get the rest of the crew on board? Shepherd would certainly be agreeable. Simon and River will say yes, I'm sure. Zoe and Wash can always use some time together and Jayne will be pleased as long as there's food and alcohol."

Kaylee rubbed at her chin and thought about it. It was true. She couldn't think of a reason as to why the crew wouldn't be agreeable to the idea but even then, what were they gonna do? Corner Mal? There was no way the capt'n would stand for a mutiny and it was doubtful any of them would last that long against him, anyways.

"The capt'n sure is a tough nut to crack. Don't think even the whole crew would be enough to persuade him." Kaylee explained, feeling defeated despite Inara's advice.

The Companion stood up and gave Kaylee a mischievous smile, asking, "Who said anything about persuading him?"

She then turned her back and left the engine room, giving Kaylee some time to think about what she had said. And that was when it had come to her. She would give everyone on Serenity a Christmas to remember if it were the last thing she did on the ship. Mal could kick her off afterwards and find himself a new mechanic but until then, she'd have her way. Jayne would get drunk, Shepherd would read his bible and say a prayer, Zoe and Wash would get a chance to act like an actual couple and not like petty thieves for a change, River's eyes would light up while opening her present, Simon would be content to watchin' her and maybe the capt'n himself would make some progress with Inara. And if Kaylee had anythin' to say about it, that progress would be made underneath the mistletoe. Or two.

And maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to steal Simon under one later as well.

-.-

She'd set to work almost instantly. Naturally, it put her in a much better mood. She went round the ship, hummin' Christmas tunes and skipping about while her devious little plan would come to fruition. They'd be docking on a central planet for some mandatory supplies and she figured she could make her own little stops to gather what she needed for the event. Inara had offered to help her pay for some of it but Kaylee was skimpy on the details, tellin' the Companion she'd rather have her surprised on Christmas mornin', even though she didn't exactly celebrate it.

Throughout the week, Kaylee was spotted comin' onto Serenity with a mystery cardboard box, sealed up so no one knew what was inside. Jayne had given her an inquisitive look and asked her if she needed any help with that. She just smiled and shook her head, practically bouncing off to her room. Even Mal stepped outside of his broody cloud to watch her dance about his ship, temporarily forgettin' the fact they weren't supposed to be talkin'.

"I hope my ship can still fly, Kaylee!" He cried after her one day from the cargo hold.

If she had heard him, she paid him no mind.

On Christmas Eve, Kaylee was nowhere to be found. What with her enthusiasm about celebratin' Christmas, Mal had been expecting her to make one last plea. Heck, the entire crew would have suspected she was up to something. But if anyone knew anything, they didn't mention it to Mal. As a matter of fact, each time he stepped into a room where his crew mates were, they'd fall silent and fixate on somethin' else. He had found Zoe and Wash in the dining area, standing around and whispering. Yet, as soon as he opened the door, they both went quiet and stared into their cups of tea.

"Hey, captain. How goes things?" Wash asked.

Mal regarded them both with suspicion and asked, "Any of you seen Kaylee?"

Zoe shook her head but wouldn't meet Mal's eyes while Wash stared off into space with a pondering expression.

"Hmmm. Nope, can't say that I have. Shouldn't she be in the engine room?" the pilot commented.

"Depends. Shouldn't you be flyin' my ship?" Mal replied.

"First of all, we're grounded, remember? And shouldn't you be doing captain-y things other than spying on me and my wife? Like maybe beating up the doctor or fawning over Inara?" Wash mocked.

Zoe elbowed her husband in the ribs, causing him to bend over in pain.

"Ow! What?! He was asking for it!" Wash cried.

Zoe took a sip of her warm drink in response.

"I don't...fawn!" Mal countered helplessly, not knowing how else to reply.

"Of course you don't, sir," Zoe confirmed.

"Pfft," Wash rolled his eyes.

"Watch it, husband," Zoe threatened softly.

Wash muttered some Chinese under his breath and rubbed at the place his wife had hurt him but didn't have anythin' else to say to the captain. Figuring the couple was a dead end, Mal left to go see if the doctor had any clue as to where his busy little engineer had disappeared to. He had found him in the medical bay, runnin' some tests on Jayne, much to the larger man's dissatisfaction.

"Jus' when in the gorram hell do ya think you'll be finished with all this ruttin' testin'?! I got things need to be done!" Jayne was yelling at the good doctor.

If Mal didn't know any better, he'd say Simon was quite enjoying this torment, having Jayne at his mercy for a change. He was wearing a grin as he held up the syringe, pushing so that a bit of liquid squirted out and getting rid of any air bubbles in the tubing. Jayne gulped.

"Almost finished, Jayne. The injection contains an antibiotic for that sexually transmitted disease you've got there. I believe I told you it would keep happening if you continued to frequent brothels. Which, judging from the redness and the discharge, you have," Simon explained as he flicked the liquid sitting inside the syringe.

"Why do they always gotta be so gorram big?" Jayne asked, eyeing the size of the needle.

"Why, the easier to puncture through your muscles, Jayne," Simon grinned.

Jayne closed his eyes and balled his hands into tight fists, "Tāmāde hùndàn, jus' get it over with, already!"

Mal cleared his throat then and both men turned their attention to the entrance. He folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the door frame.

"Hate to interrupt you two lovebirds, but I've been lookin' for Kaylee. Either of you seen her by chance?" Mal questioned.

Jayne and Simon exchanged looks and then stared back at the capt'n.

"Do I look like a gorram babysitter to you, Mal?" Jayne scoffed, clearly still irritated with the oncoming injection.

Simon shook his head, "Not since this morning, no."

Mal ran a hand through his hair before asking Simon, "Since this mornin'? Where'd you see her this mornin'?"

"She came in asking for River. Said she needed her help with something and I figured River could use a day off. So I said yes. Why? What's the big rush? We aren't scheduled to be leaving until this evening," Simon remarked.

"Ain't none of your business, doc. Your job it to patch up the crew. My job is to decide when we fly, where we go and when we land. Now, when Kaylee took River, did she say where they were goin'?" Mal continued.

Simon's mouth became a tight line and he shook his head, "Not a thing. Sorry, captain."

With that, the doctor went back to examining his medication but Mal wasn't finished with him just yet.

He marched right up to him and said, "I find it a little bit strange that for such a worry wart of a brother, you don't seem to know or care where your crazy little sister's gone off to all day. I hope you ain't lyin' to me, boy. Not too fond of liars on my ship."

Simon didn't back down; instead, he turned so that he was facing Mal and spat, "River is with Kaylee. I trust Kaylee. So no, I don't need to know where she took her. If she's with her, I know River's safe."

Jayne sat up then and interjected, "If it's all good with you, can I at least get that gorram shot before you two kill each other? I'm burnin' and itchin' somethin' awful down in my nethers here."

Simon cleared his throat and turned his attention back to his patient, "I think we're done here, captain. Now if you'd let me do my job and 'patch up the crew', as you so graciously put it, please?"

He left to find Inara, sure the Companion would know of her best friend and her plottin'. He knew she wouldn't tell him but perhaps he could at least weasel somethin' out of her. He knocked on her shuttle door and was granted entry a moment later. He stepped inside, finding Inara curled up on her bed with a book in her hands. She looked up and, upon noticing it was him, went back to reading.

"Good afternoon, Inara," He started, examining the little trinkets displayed on her table.

"I can't imagine this is a social call, Mal," She stated, not removing her eyes from the page in the book.

He smiled and rocked on his heels with his hands stuffed into his pockets, "Alright then. I seem to be missin' my mechanic at the moment and, strangely enough, no one has seen her around all day. Now, you bein' all close to Kaylee, I'd imagine you've spoken to her today."

Inara shook her head, still not looking up at Mal when she spoke, "Nope. Sorry, but I can't say that I have. I've been quite immersed in this book most of today. I can't really seem to put it down. I left my shuttle once in the morning and that was to get something to eat."

Mal stood there, awkward and still, clenching and unclenching his hands in frustration. He was beginning to get annoyed with the lot of them. Either one of them was lyin' or all of them were lyin' and he needed to find out why. He knew Kaylee was up to somethin' and he was gonna catch her red handed. When Inara noted that Mal was still in her room she looked up at him from her book and sighed.

"Is there anything else, captain?" She inquired.

Mal smiled cheekily and said, "How's about a foot rub? I hear your kind is pretty good at them."

"Get out," Inara glared.

"Consider it an early Christmas present, if you will," Mal continued.

"In case you forgot, I'm Buddhist. I don't celebrate Christmas," Inara stated.

"Hanukkah?"

He ducked and dodged the book that went flying where his head had been.

"I know she's up to somethin', Inara. I know you're helpin' her, too. Just come clean and I promise, I won't find me a new mechanic," Mal surrendered.

"I don't know what you're babbling about, Mal. Even if Kaylee was up to something, what makes you think she'd tell me? I don't care for Christmas. I wouldn't help, anyways," Inara stood up and put on one of her satin robes, covering herself.

Mal watched her before saying, "Yes, you would. You couldn't turn down those puppy eyes. You don't have it in you."

Inara laughed, "Oh, you must be referring to the fact that I have a heart."

Mal placed his hand over his left breast and said, "Nope, it's there alright. A little huffin' and puffin', but it is there."

"It would be nice if you would use it every once in a while," Inara smiled.

"I do use it!"

"Then why wouldn't you let Kaylee have her Christmas dinner?"

"Because, I ain't celebratin' Christmas on my ship."

"But you know how much it means to her."

"And she knows that this is my ship and that I don't like Christmas."

"Do you realize how selfish you're being?"

"It ain't selfish if this is my ship. No one said she couldn't go celebrate her Christmas elsewhere."

"Oh, this is ridiculous!"

"I agree! So tell me what she's up to so that I can put a stop to this ridiculous thing."

"I don't know."

"'Course you do."

"Mal, for the last time, I don't know what Kaylee is doing. I haven't seen her all day. Don't you have more important things to worry about besides ruining a holiday for a young girl?"

"Gorrammit! I just want everyone on my ship and ready to leave before nightfall! I need Kaylee to be checkin' up on Serenity's status so that we don't wind up fallin' right outta the sky! She doesn't need to be distracted by some stupid, commercialized holiday! So, whether you've seen her or not, you let her know that! If she ain't here by then, we're leavin'," Mal shouted before storming out of Inara's shuttle.

-.-

It was really late when Simon noticed River returning into the room. She was quiet, closing the door behind her softly so as not to wake him up. Of course, he hadn't been able to sleep without her there. He wouldn't tell her that, though. It could upset her and he didn't want that. He opened his eyes and watched her. She was smiling at him, showing off her pearly whites. Then, she brought a single finger to her lips and shushed him.

"You can't see it! It isn't Christmas morning yet," She whispered before clambering into bed.

She snuggled into the blankets while Simon watched her curiously, "See what, mei-mei?"

She only shushed him again before burying into the blankets and falling asleep. He couldn't get her to respond after that. He sighed but let her sleep. He figured he could always ask Kaylee in the morning about it. For now, he'd finally submit to his dreams.

-.-

"What happened to my gorram ship?!" Mal shouted, loud enough to wake the entire crew.

They came slowly stumblin' out, sleep still in their eyes. They looked about, trying to pinpoint the commotion. But it didn't take anyone very long to notice. Inara was smiling and so was Shepherd as he looked up at it. Zoe and Wash stared at it with question, clearly too tired to process it right away. River danced up and down the bridge, glorifying herself in it. Jayne grumbled and Simon looked amazed. Mal simply looked furious.

"What happened to my gorram ship?!" He shouted again, as if no one had heard him the first time.

Inara shrugged and said, "Looks like Serenity's been visited by the Christmas spirit."

"Yeah well, someone get it off! Now!" He cried.

Nobody was really listening to him, though. They were too busy admiring Kaylee's handiwork. She had successfully covered the entire inside of the ship with vibrant Christmas lights. There was green and red and there was white. All of them blinked and shined. That was when Kaylee climbed out of her bunk and smiled cheekily at the group.

"Looks even better after seein' it a second time," she remarked.

"You!" Mal shouted upon seeing her.

Just as he made to take a step forward, Inara's voice stopped him in his tracks, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, captain."

Mal turned on her and asked, "Why in the hell not?"

Inara looked up directly above Mal's head. He followed her gaze and saw it, dangling like a threat. Then he started noticing more of them. They were absolutely everywhere. They covered every other inch of the ceilin', making it difficult to ever evade them.

The mistletoe.

Kaylee rushed over to Mal then and said, "Looks like you've got me under the mistletoe, capt'n."

He stared at her, tight lipped and very much annoyed but Kaylee leaned forward and placed a kiss on his slightly scruffy cheek. She grinned when River ran up to him as well and bounded up for a quick kiss on his other cheek. He stared at the both of them, not knowing how to respond to the sudden assault.

"Move another inch, capt'n and you're in for a ton more kisses," Kaylee warned.

"Kaylee, you have ten minutes to get this fèiwù off my ship," Mal snarled.

"Actually, I quite like this arrangement," Wash commented, leaning in for a kiss from his wife when she had shifted underneath the green leaves and bright red berries.

Zoe giggled when her husband's lips met hers in a chaste kiss. Her arms rested on his shoulders and they deepened the kiss.

"Hey! You can't make out under the mistletoe!" Mal shouted at them, pointing an accusatory finger in their direction.

In response, Wash started to move down the bridge, still very much kissin' his wife. Each time he moved, he made sure they were both under yet, another mistletoe. Zoe laughed but met every single kiss, much to her captain's dismay. Inara was enjoying herself, too and Shepherd indicated his cheek to her, smiling all the while.

"Would you do an old man the honor of being the most beautiful woman to have ever kissed him?" He asked bashfully.

Inara's face lit up and she nodded, leaning forward for a tender kiss on his cheek. Mal moved towards them to stop the madness but as soon as he moved, Kaylee and River both bounced towards him and kissed him again.

Jayne muttered, "Can't believe I woke up for this gǒushí."

Just as he made to go back into his bunk, Kaylee hopped over to him and turned the big lug round, "I don't think so, mister sourpuss!"

She indicated the mistletoe placed above the entry to his bunk with her finger and then stood on her tip toes to place a quick peck on his mouth. Jayne stood still, frozen like a statue, staring at some spot on the wall. Mal on the other hand, was just about losing his mind.

"Stop it. All of you, stop! Stop celebratin' this ruttin' no good holiday!" He shouted to no avail.

River ran up to Simon and dragged him underneath the plant before placing a solid, loud smooch on his cheek. He laughed when she did it and returned the favor, stroking her long dark hair.

"How's about this, capt'n: we have dinner and wine and River opens up her present, then I'll take all this stuff down and you'll never have to see it again," Kaylee proposed.

"Gotta admit, she drives a pretty good bargain, capt'n," Jayne stated, finally getting out of his mute zone and still tryin' to hide the redness in his face and neck.

Mal just gave Jayne a deadly look, clearly unhappy with his predicament.

Inara stepped towards him and said, "Oh come on, Mal. What's so bad about a night of good food and drinks?"

River giggled then and said, "Where art thou, Romeo? Silly Juliet, he's under the mistletoe. And so is she."

Inara took an involuntary step backwards, not looking up because she already knew what River was implying. Mal didn't seem to understand but Kaylee squealed.

"River's right. Looks like you've got to kiss Inara, captain," Wash piped in, still holding Zoe in his arms.

Mal glanced towards the ceiling and sure enough, there it was. The dreaded plant was hanging right directly above their heads.

"You can't be serious," Mal grumbled.

Inara cleared her throat and stared at the ground, unable to look him in the face. She played with a stray dark curl and pretended to be unaware of the situation.

"That ain't happenin'," Mal stated calmly.

Inara looked up at him and if he didn't know her so damn well, he'd have believed she looked disappointed. Or maybe he just wanted her to be disappointed.

"Aw, capt'n, don't be such a scrooge!" Kaylee whined.

"I do feel it is highly insulting to refuse to kiss a woman as lovely as our very own Inara, here," Shepherd chimed in.

"Zoe?" Mal looked to his second in command for some back up, some form of help.

The tall woman shrugged and said, "I think it would be significantly better than the fawning, sir."

Mal stared at Zoe, disbelieving and protested, "I do not fawn!"

"Of course you don't, sir," Zoe replied.

"Okay, now you're just toyin' with me," Mal accused her.

"I suggest we speed things along and get someone better to kiss Inara in Mal's place," Wash decreed.

"It's wrong. Mercutio didn't kiss Juliet," said River.

"Fine with me. I ain't kissin' no one on account of I ain't celebratin' Christmas," Mal shrugged.

"Oh, to hell with this," Inara interrupted.

She stepped forward, grabbed Mal's face with both her hands, turned him towards her and kissed him hard. Mal's eyes were wide and open, lookin' as if they were about to pop out of his skull. Either way, he didn't exactly fight her off or stop her. She had forced him to bend down to her level, her hands on either side of his face, keeping him there. Her mouth was soft against his, her lips warm on his own. Kaylee cheered in the background.

"And now they die. The poison kills them both," River announced.

She fell to the floor then, dramatically. She landed on her back, arms outstretched on either side of her. Simon was beside her in moments, checking up on her to make sure she was alright. Her eyes were open though and she wasn't hurt. Everyone could breathe a sigh of relief.

"Too much excitement for one morning, I think," Simon smiled up at Kaylee.

"Guess so," Kaylee replied, hands on her hips and looking down at the two siblings affectionately.

Inara had let go of Mal and he stood there, looking every bit of a fool that he felt. Speechless, the fight was all gone from him and instead, he sputtered for some form of coherent sentence. Inara merely gathered her skirts and walked towards the dining area, as if she hadn't just kissed her captain on the mouth in front of the entire crew.

"Now, I do believe there was mention of food and drink," the Companion commented.

Mal scratched the back of his head, starin' at the ground. He didn't argue or chase down Kaylee. Shepherd stepped forward instead, smiling like the preacher had never smiled before.

"I believe you're right, Inara. We should get to work, immediately. Everyone can help prepare," The elderly man explained joyously as he walked towards Inara.

He turned to acknowledge Mal and said, "That includes you, captain."

Mal looked up at Shepherd, flabbergasted and clearly still trying to piece himself together after Inara had so boldly kissed him. The good thing was, the scowl was gone and his features had softened up significantly. Instead, he simply looked dazed and lost. Inara, on the other hand, was fine. So, Mal looked on at the rest of his crew. River was still on the floor with her brother crouched beside her, Kaylee was next to Simon, arms folded over her chest and watching her captain, Wash had his arms wrapped around Zoe, holdin' her close, and Jayne looked as uncomfortable with all this as he was. Mal wouldn't dare to look at Inara. Not yet, anyways. So he turned to face the Shepherd once more and cleared his throat, awkwardly.

"We've got quite a bit of work to do then, don't we? Should get started now," Mal ordered, rolling up his sleeves to expose his forearms and then walking past Inara with his head low, into the pantry.

He missed the small, little smirk the Companion had on her face as he brushed past her. Might have missed the slight glow of her cheeks, too. And the quick taste of her own lips. But Kaylee noticed it and she smiled so wide, her mouth hurt. Both Book and Inara followed Mal into the pantry shortly after.

"Don't think I've ever seen the capt'n enter a mood that good," the young engineer noted, rocking on her heels.

"To get Mal from hating Christmas to wanting to celebrate it? I'd say she has magical powers," proclaimed Wash.

Zoe laughed and said, "Come on, husband. There's bound to be some tension in that room and I intend on being in the audience when the captain breaks out into a nervous sweat."

"Fine, but let it be known, I'm going for the booze and the fine woman," Wash said to everyone around him as he was dragged away by his wife.

"Did he jus' say booze and women in the same sentence?" Jayne asked, pointing in the direction Wash had gone.

Kaylee nodded and smiled and that was all it took for the big, burly man to follow after.

"Well, count me in!" He cried, speed walking towards the pantry.

"Maybe we should get in there and offer a helping hand, too. Just in case the captain feels we aren't doing our part on the ship," Simon commented, standing up and helping River to her feet.

"I have the feelin' the capt'n ain't gonna be payin' any mind to you two tonight," Kaylee teased.

Simon smiled and nodded his head in agreement while River moved ahead of them, towards the pantry. She skipped along, humming some indiscernible melody.

"You really did it, didn't you?" Simon asked.

Kaylee looked up, curious, "Did what?"

He smiled and looked all around him, at all the glowing lights and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling.

"This," He stated quite simply.

Kaylee blushed and shuffled her feet, "Aw, it was nothin'. I probably wouldn't have gotten away with it if it weren't for 'Nara."

"I'm glad you did, anyways," the doctor said, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"I thought you and River might like it. Does it remind you of home?" Kaylee questioned the doctor.

For a moment, a look of pain flashed across Simon's face and he couldn't bring himself to answer Kaylee. Realizing that what she had said might have brought back unpleasant memories, she was quick to apologize, "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean anythin' by it! Me and my gorram mouth."

"No," Simon started, grabbing Kaylee's wrist and looking directly into her eyes, "This is...better."

He grabbed her other hand in his and turned to face her, "Everything you've done, Kaylee. It's helped River. She's been so much better ever since you got her to tag along. And I..." he trailed off.

Simon then took in a deep breath, calmed his nerves and said, "I'm so very grateful for it. I wouldn't have it any other way."

He laughed then and let go of her hands, "I mean, you stood up to the captain and he took it. I have to admire that. I thought he was going to replace you as soon as we landed on another planet. Even though I'd obviously never stand for it, I'm glad it didn't have to come to that."

Kaylee was beaming and when she spoke, her voice was soft and nervous, "You wouldn't have let him replace me? Careful doctor, you might just be mistakin' for flirtin' with me."

Kaylee giggled watching Simon struggle for words after her comment.

"Sure are cute when you get all flustered like that, doc," She admitted.

They stood there like that for a moment, with Kaylee laughing amiably and Simon just doing a whole lot of stuttering. They hadn't noticed River standing and staring over their heads.

"It's found its next victims," She said, pointing up at the mistletoe.

They followed her finger and, of course, she was right.

"I, uh, we don't have to. I mean, River won't tell anyone if we don't," Simon tried explaining, taking a step back.

"I'll tell," River stated.

Simon stared at his sister, wide eyed, "You would?"

River stared back, serious, and nodded curtly.

"Well, I can't really do it with you watching," Simon remarked, sounding desperate.

River sighed and rolled her eyes before turning around and giving them her back.

"I must warn you, I- er, don't think I'm very good at this," Simon confided to Kaylee.

"Shut it, pretty boy," Kaylee whispered playfully.

She yanked at his tie and pulled him close to her, planting her lips on his in a much needed lengthy and uninterrupted kiss.

After all, she deserved it. Then again, maybe they all did.

-fin

A/N: I wanted to write something light. You know, take away a bit of that sad and replace it with some happy, if only for the Christmas setting. It may not have been realistic but I had fun writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it. :) As usual, feedback of any kind is welcomed. Thanks for reading!

Mei-mei: little sister

Tāmāde hùndàn: fucking asshole

Gǒushí: dog shit

Fèiwù: junk