This takes place in an AU in today's time. The Lord of the Rings in 99 seconds is by Paint on YouTube. Merry singing is in italics. Pip singing is in bold. Frodo singing is underlined.

Merry turned to his cousins. There was Samuel (Sam for short), Frodo, and Peter, who was the youngest and nicknamed Pip (short for pipsqueak). "Have you guys ever seen The Lord of the Rings?" Asked Merry.

"Of course!" Replied Pip, while Sam shook his head.

"What's it about?" Asked Sam.

"It's a really long story," said Frodo.

"I bet we can summarize it in less than 100 seconds!" Exclaimed Pip.

Merry nodded. "Alright, Frodo will you time us?" Frodo pulled out his stopwatch. Frodo put three fingers up.

"Merry, you start." Said Pip.

Two fingers...

One...

Merry opened his mouth and sung.

"The Lord of the Rings

Hobbits, Dwarves

Elves and Men

Kings and Queens"

"Epicness!" exclaimed Pip.

"Lord of the Rings

The greatest tale ever told on your screen"

"Po-ta-toes" sung his cousin.

"Frodo must bring the ring to the elves

Aragorn fights off

The nine evil Ringwraiths

The Fellowship forms"

"Saruman's a jerk"

"Gandalf's torn from the group"

"You shall not pass!"

"Boromir's embedded

Uruk-hai's beheaded"

"Like a boss"

"The Fellowship is broken"

"Thanks for that J.R.R. Tolkien"

"Frodo's gone"

"And Sam's coming with you!"

"Gollum leads the ring to Mordor"

"My Precious"

"Gandalf the White returns to wage war"

"Pip and Merry hug trees" adds Frodo, not wanting to miss out on the fun.

"Théoden is like Benjamin Button"

"He's aging backwards" exclaims Pip.

"Legolas surfs on a shield to defend

Helm's Deep"

"Big trees

Are attacking the orcs" sung Pip in a falsetto.

"The sword has been reforged and

Now a legion of ghosts are at hand"

"He's the king"

"Sam uses his spider slay skills

While the elf and Gimli count kills"

"Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, Aragorn," Frodo starts naming the characters.

"One last battle"

"Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas, Denethor,"

"It's good vs evil"

"Boromir, Gollum, Saruman,"

"Frodo you must"

"Sméagol, Elrond, Bilbo, Galadriel, Shelob,"

"Destroy the"

"Wormtongue, Uruk-hai, Sauron, Great Eye,"

"Ring of Power"

"No!" Yells Frodo.

"Destroy it!" Yells Merry.

"It's mine!"

"Destroy it!"

"It's mine!"

Pip makes a few explosion sounds, as if mimicking the destruction of Sauron. "Yay!" He exclaims. Merry and Frodo glare at him.

"Aragorn sits on his throne

Middle Earth is saved

By the smallest of things

In The Lord of the Rings" Merry finished. If only The Lord of the Rings wasn't just a fairy tale.

"So how'd we do?" Asked Pip.

"99 seconds," responded Frodo.

"Alright!" Exclaimed Pip. "Looks like we deserve more coke, Merry!" Merry smiled at his hyperactive cousin.

"It seems so."