"Dawon, what is this?!" Basil waved the papers irately. "Ratigan met his demise six months past! Why are you writing fallacies concerning how you imagine his accomplices spent the Yuletide season?!"
The doctor calmly replied, "I see no harm in a few fictitious short stories."
Taking a deep breath, the detective tried to conceal his aggravation. "We are mice of science, doctor. Fairy tales are best left to children. If you wish to write anecdotes, that is your decision, but a renowned axiom advises it is best to write material concerning a subject with which one is quite familiar, and although you have spoken with a few reformed members of Ratigan's criminal ring, you know nothing of felons. If you insist upon the ludicrous notion of writing accounts of the holidays, you really ought to attempt nonfiction."
Following his friend's advice, Dawson began to write yet again.
'Twas the night before Christmas,
And to my chagrin
Basil was playing carols
On his violin.
I had been nestled
All snug in my bed,
And thoughts of strings breaking
Soon raced through my head.
This violin was
The bane of the nation,
Often played during
An interrogation.
When I could take no more
Of this din and clatter,
I rushed from my room
To see what was the matter.
Basil turned to me.
And said, "Sorry, old chap!
Did I awaken you
From your long winter's nap?"
"What is it," I asked,
"That ails you today?
The first stroke of midnight
Is minutes away!"
"Is it now?" he queried.
"Are we really so near it?
I suppose I am haunted
By three Christmas spirits."
I frowned in bewilderment,
Scratching my head.
"What the Dickens?" I asked.
"Precisely!" he said.
"The first," he began,
"Is of Yuletides long past.
Alas for my youth
And time vanished too fast!"
He sighed, "Long ago,
Ratigan was my friend,
And neither of us knew
That this trust soon would end,
"Yet even our hatred
Has ended too soon.
I'll see him nevermore,
For he perished last June,
"But his memories still haunt me,
And I feel no spite,
So it is in his honor
I drink this tonight."
So saying, he raised his glass,
But it was plain
To see that his heart
Was still writhing in pain.
Thoughts of his former
Friend's recent demise
Tightened Basil's throat
And had moistened his eyes.
Ignoring the memories
That dampened his cheek,
Basil cleared his throat,
And once more he did speak.
"The second," he stated,
"Is clearly more pleasant.
The spirit I mention
Is that of Christmas present.
"I speak of the ruffians
Now in their cells,
No more to commit felonies,
And the bell
"That once gave their boss
All his pride and his glory
Rests now on my mantel;
You recall the story:
"After the demise of
The world's greatest rat,
Felicia reformed her ways,
As did the bat.
"Mousedom is much safer,
That's no mystery,
Now that Ratigan's ring
Of thugs is history."
It was here Basil paused,
Raising his glass again,
"Here's to what shall be now
Rather than 'might have been'!"
"The third spirit," he finished,
"Is that of a future
Spent with the one who claimed
I should accept sutures
"When I was unscathed
After my final fight
With Ratigan on the
Clock tower that night!
"I was not at all harmed,
Yet still you insisted
That I needed help,
And so I resisted.
"I was not wounded,
Yet you still bandaged me!
That was most unprofessional,
You must surely agree.
"Still I have no regrets
About the next day:
You were leaving, old chap,
But I asked you to stay.
"We're an excellent team
Against felons, we two!
And so, my dear Dawson,
I toast now to you!"
He emptied his glass;
Then he stretched and he said,
"Pleasant dreams, Doctor.
I retire to bed."
Looking on toward the future,
Enjoying the present,
And recalling the past
Make life meaningfully pleasant,
And I knew in the depths
Of his vast memory,
Basil remembered
And cherished all three.
Let us all learn and try
To do the same if we might.
Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a good night