Chapter 3

A/N: Haven't seen me in a while, have you? Yeah, I have no excuses to give you guys, but I'm not going to tease you with an A/N chapter. There are two things in fanfiction that I hate: abandoned stories and A/N chapters. So those are two crimes that I refuse to commit. Just sayin'. Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed, now let's get to this story thing.

Disclaimer: Anything that you recognize goes to its respective owner. Honestly, if anyone who actually owned something fanfiction worthy wrote something from the fandom that their own work spawned, they'd probably be one of the strangest people ever. That being said, if I ever published something and decided to make an alternate ending, this is probably where it would end up. As of yet, I own nothing of importance/consequence. Everybody got that? Good, then off we go!

Six months. GIR has been singing the doom song for six months.

Zim now found himself getting infinitely bored and felt fortunate that he had remembered to bring supplies with him from FoodCourtia. He would have never survived without them, even with the Pac.

But this song. The only reprieve that he had received from it was when GIR had finally realized that they were far from the designated perimeters for Introverts and Zim wasn't Tagged. The Tags were designed by non-Introvert scientists in order to make sure that Introverts were safe. When families were abolished however, leaving no one to stand up for the rights of the Introverts who couldn't remain in courtroom long enough to carry out a case, this safety had changed to mean complete imprisonment. Even so, most Introverts don't see it this way as they have been treated this way their whole lives. All of them were like this, in fact. All except Zim, the one the system managed to miss by some strange twist of fate and no small amount of luck.

GIR had asked how Zim had managed to get away and why they were doing this. Wouldn't his life be easier if he simply turned himself in as the missing Introvert?

The answer had been yes, it would be easier, but Zim had gotten a taste of true life, and the "safety" in the Sector could never compare to the freedom that he enjoyed so much now. He couldn't live like the others when he had felt what it was like to be treated as roughly an equal rather than a porcelain doll to be put in a case for its own protection.

GIR had accepted this answer. He had understood. Unfortunately, with that matter out of the way, the little robot had gone right back to singing that horrible song. On top of that, he was bored. After 6 months, the sight of the stars streaking by got extremely tedious. The patience that almost all Introverts prided themselves on was fraying and he didn't know how much more of this he could take.

"GIR... Would you please stop singing?" Zim implores desperately, hoping against hope he would just listen so he didn't have use the strangulation simulation function that all GIR units were programmed with. For safety reasons, only the acknowledged Master of the GIR could utilize the function, and it couldn't be used more than once a week, but when a GIR unit is being particularly irritating and is more of a nuisance than anything else, the strangulation simulation function forced the unit to shut down. Sometimes, there was no other way to for Introverts to save their sanity from the hyperactive robots.

GIR just kept singing. Zim prepared to implement the function, going so far as to actually get up and begin to move towards him, when the computer automated voice cut through the air and GIR's voice.

"Proximity warning: Planet ahead." The control panel showed a planet labeled Earth, the name pulled from the rather feebly protected information that the planet had on itself. This "Earth" was a relatively young planet, its people having only recently breached its own atmosphere. These people were almost as violent towards each other as most Irkens were to all other species. A large portion were also quite stupid, some dangerously so. They were most fortunate that they had neither been truly marked for conquest nor discovered by the Planet-Jackers. The ruling species' stupidity was also just what Zim needed to be able to easily integrate himself into their society.

"GIR, we're here! We're finally here!" Zim exclaimed gleefully. GIR, however, waved him off, indicating that he wasn't done singing just yet. Zim rolled his eyes impatiently.

"Doom, doom, doom, the end! Ooh, WHASSAT?" Seriously, the song lasted six months and had an ending like that?!

"Planet Earth! This must be the place. It's certainly far enough away to suit my needs. Okay, first off we have to set up a base of operations." Zim was nothing if not practical. They needed shelter, and according to the information the computer was displaying about Earth, he didn't want to end up in "the system". Whatever it was, it was described as faulty and the place where homeless orphan kids go. It didn't sound particularly appealing. He knew he would only be able to pass as a child with his proportions, having the air of having not yet grown into his head. Plus, for all he knew, he could end up growing on this expedition, and adults just don't do that here.

"Heehee," GIR giggled. Zim didn't see what was so funny.

"Focus, GIR! This is where your advanced information gathering skills come in handy!" GIR units kept a recording of everything they see so that they can relay it back to their Introvert when they go out alone. GIR's eyes turned red and he saluted Zim.

"Yes, my master!" His eyes turned blue again as he ran to the window "Groit!" GIR units also had the strangest vocabulary when they didn't want to be understood by Irkens. No one had planned on them gaining sentience like that, but they served their purpose even better that way, filling in for the nonexistent family that only the Introverts missed, so no one bothered to fix it. Besides, it wasn't like they were hurting anything.

The Voot Cruiser flew closer to the surface of Earth through clouds. The planet was positively glowing. 'That's a lot of light pollution.' Zim thought. 'I hope that's the only kind of pollution, otherwise I might be in trouble if I come into contact with contaminated water. I'll have to find something to counteract it, just in case.' Out loud, Zim told GIR what to watch for.

"You have to observe what these... Earthenoids consider to be... normal. Then, based on your observations, we make our disguises... and our home." He would have to find out what the locals called themselves before going out. Can't make himself too obvious to people who may not have encountered alien life before. Though, testing their gullibility and ability to suspend disbelief might be fun. Just one more thing to look into before greeting his new neighbors.

The Voot Cruiser veered downward even closer to the surface of Earth. As they flew by, the control panel showed many Earthenoid objects such as cars and squirrels. The Voot Runner passed over a pink flamingo, the 105.5 FM WTFU radio station, a lawn gnome, and many houses. Finally, Zim spotted a decently sized opening that would suit his needs.

"Here! We build here!" Zim exclaimed, hoping GIR had spotted enough objects of use. The ship abruptly stopped over the gap Zim had spotted between two houses and lowered down into it. As the Voot Cruiser landed, it created a great cloud of dust which seeped out into the street, which, fortunately, didn't seem to garner any local attention. Zim walked out of the dust and cautiously looked around.

"Ooh, that was surprisingly easy! GIR! Get out here!" Zim hoped that this next phase would go over as smoothly, despite the noise it was bound to create. GIR jumped out of the Voot Cruiser and managed to hit the ship on the way down, causing him to fall on his face. Zim winced, but got right down to business, knowing GIR couldn't actually feel pain, though he could occasionally simulate it.

"Hurry, GIR! What did you learn?" Zim asked frantically, not wanting to exposed for too long. GIR got up.

"I saw a squirrel," Gir claimed, causing Zim to give him a puzzled look. "It was doin' like this-"

GIR proceeded to imitate a squirrel. Zim ran a hand down his face, slightly exasperated but unsure as to what he'd been expecting.

"Concentrate, GIR! It is time for disguises!" Zim fished a small device from his pocket that gave him images to match whatever GIR was talking about.

"I wanna be a mongoose," GIR stated. A picture of a relatively large rodent. Though it was certainly nowhere near the size and terror of the Slaughtering Rat People of Blorch, it didn't appear to be the sort of animal most species would keep as a pet. According to the readouts, it wasn't a common pet on Earth, either.

"Shhh! We have to be quiet!" Zim didn't want to have to explain all that to GIR, and he wasn't entirely sure they hadn't awakened the surrounding human residents, anyways. GIR's eyes turned red as he saluted Zim. Zim creeped back over to the Voot Cruiser and glanced around stealthily to ensure that there were no witnesses to anything that had or would happen. He activated the disguise program built into every Irken ship without exception. The Voot Cruiser reconfigured itself so that it was setup to create the disguises. Two poles emerged from the ship which created a hologram in between them that displayed an image of Zim. The computer sorted through possible disguises, starting with the image of a tall red haired man with glasses (Jhonen Vasquez).

"Too ugly!"

The second option displayed was a larger man with long brown hair, a well kept beard and glasses (Steve Ressel).

"Too stinky! I know I can't tell that by a picture, GIR, I'm speaking metaphorically. It would be a pain to maintain a holoform so much larger than myself, it wouldn't be practical." GIR continued to eye Zim contemplatively.

The next disguise was Zim wearing contact lenses and a toupee.

"That one looks good! No, really GIR!" Zim exclaimed quietly while GIR looked at him with open disapproval, eyes glowing red as his protective programming overrode his companionship programming. "According to the computer, the vast majority of humans are either too stupid to notice or won't be paying enough attention to notice. Most of the ones who do notice won't care enough to do anything and the ones that try will be written off as crazy so that the rest don't have to think about it. It'll be an interesting experiment. Besides, I can change my appearance later, so long as I move cities and/or claim to have gotten 'cosmetic surgery'."

Despite GIR's continued disapproval, Zim selected that disguise. Two pods from the Voot Runner closed on Zim making an egg shape when interlocked. Light poured out of the crevice where the two pods met. It was truly a testament to how little human's care about anything that no one came outside to check out the loud noises and light show.

"Guh! Why does it hurt!?" Zim cried as the machine poked and prodded him.

The two panels opened, revealing the disguised Zim. GIR's eyes turned blue as he looked around, appearing confused.

"Master? Where did you go? Where are you?" He had clearly decided that humans must be stupid if they haven't come to investigate yet. Zim waved his arms, playing along.

"I'm right here, GIR! It's me! And keep it down, do you wanna wake up the whole planet?" As if the previous events wouldn't have if it were possible at all.

"I dooo." At this point, Zim had to agree. He was slightly concerned that these creatures were too stupid to be of any use for inspiration. His eyes returned to the disguise creator's screen.

"Okay, for you, I'm thinking maybe a dog." That seemed to be a normal 'pet' creature for the local sentients.

"Can I be a mongoose dog?" GIR had had his heart set on being a mongoose, despite not being the right size to pass for one. The disguise program went through several breeds of dogs before Zim selected one.

"Today, we become... the enemy!" Zim exclaimed dramatically, pressing the start button. Zim then quickly placed GIR between the closing pods. They shut on him and light poured out of the crevice where the two panels met once more. The pods opened to reveal the poorly disguised GIR. His dog suit looked nothing like the one Zim chose and it was green.

"Wow, that's actually unintentionally bad. But now we match! Ingenious! Now, all we need is a home. Let's see." Zim pulled out a capsule, which unfolded as an electronic pad complete with pen. Zim doodled a house that looked relatively like the ones around them on it.

"Some windows, a couple of little animal things in front. There!" Zim exclaimed as he finished, closing the electronic pad into a capsule with a drill. He stuck the capsule into the ground. "GIR! Hide!"

GIR's feet squeaked as they ran out into the street. Zim hid behind a fire hydrant and GIR simply stood in the street, not seeing the point of hiding. Nothing had gotten anyone to come outside yet.

"AND BE QUIET! We can't afford to make a sound!" Zim practically yelled.

The capsule bored deeper and deeper into the ground before it stopped. It unfolded into a fan shape and shot mechanical tentacles in all directions. The tentacles reached the surface and lifted the Voot Runner into the air. A platform formed under the Voot Runner as dirt fell to the ground. A metal hub popped out of the ground and two poles shot out on either side of the hub. The hub opened up and light poured out. A compact pink couch popped out of the hub and flew into the air. The couch unfolded and hit the ground. Four poles stood from the ground. The poles shot tentacles that interlock to form a box. The tentacles that lifted the Voot Runner into the air formed a wire frame of the interior of the house. The four poles shot out beams of light that filled in the gaps between the poles. The beams of light then became solid walls complete with windows, a door, and other accessories. Two panels came out of the top of the house which closed over the Voot Runner and interlocked to form the roof. A large hub formed on the right side of the roof. Out of this hub, a mechanical arm formed. The arm became a satellite. A few large tentacles shot out of the left and the right of the house and latched on to the houses on both sides. They gripped tightly and bored into the walls of the neighboring homes. In one house, a man sat in an armchair drinking a beer and watching television. The hole where the big tentacle penetrated from the other side was visible. Out of the hole, many smaller tentacles swarmed into the house. The man watched as one of the tentacles attaches to his light fixture and drained it of energy. He was very blase about it. Below Zim's house, a lab full of Irken computers and technology formed. Back at the surface, lights on Zim's house flickered on as wooden fences sprouted around the house. 4 lawn gnomes, 2 puffer fish, and 1 flamingo sprouted in Zim's lawn. The lights in other houses in the neighborhood turned on as they finally woke up from the disturbance. Car alarms that had gone off as the ground trembled were turned off. Some of Zim's new neighbors looked outside to see what was going on, but didn't really seem to care that a new, odd looking, light green house suddenly stood where there was nothing before. Zim grabs GIR by the leash and dragged him along towards the house while whistling and acting as if nothing happened. GIR got up and started skipping ahead of Zim as they walked past a sign in Zim's lawn that says, "I love Earth." When they get to the door, it flew open and the roboparents greeted them.

"Welcome home, son!"

The door closed behind them and Zim relaxed once the coast was clear, leaning against the brand new door.

"Wooooo! Step one went smoothly!" He said with a smirk.