Rated T for implied suicide.

I remember the first time I saw you.

Did you know?

You took my breath away—with hair the color of sunshine and eyes more vibrant than the azure skies; your laughter the music of infinity. I felt myself come alive that day. But, even then, I was already shattered.

Did you know?

I watched you with starlight eyes. Every movement, every whisper. Your words were an oasis, a glint of silver in my darkness. I was selfish then, too. For when I was without you, my soul was tinted green. And yet, the scarce few times I called you mine, I clipped your wings and told you to soar, just waiting for you to fall. You never did. That's where we're different.

Did you know?

You bring people joy. You make them trust you, make them love you, make them promise you, and, in such, build a ship that will sail into eternity. You will never fall, never sink, never drown. I cannot say the same. I do not, have not, will not ever deserve your kindness and your beauty. Your friendship. Your love.

Did you know?

That sometimes I look at you, bask in you, admire you, and for the briefest of moments I feel…human. Like something important. Someone worth caring for. You have that effect on people.

Did you know?

That you have that power? The power to resurrect what's been lifeless from the beginning, to reignite that blown out flame.

It is a wasted talent.

Wasted on me.

You wanna hear a secret?

One that's never left my lips?

One that's never left my fingertips?

I'm already dead.

I never was alive. Not truly.

Did you know?

I break myself on the outside to kill the hate on the inside. The darkness. The blackness. It flows from every pore, every cell, like a torrent. It runs through my veins like blood runs through yours. I can see me tainting you. Taking away the vibrancy, the ecstasy, that makes you more radiant than the sun. My days spent with you have been the closest to carefree that I have ever been. But, I will never rob you of your soul for my own self-gratification. I am selfish, but not that selfish.

Did you know?

You can do better. You deserve better. I understand this with every fiber of my being.

Though, it was nice…to pretend. To pretend I could get better. To pretend that I could be something different—something special. To pretend that my life wasn't over before it even started. But that's all that it was. Pretend. Because you are you and I am me.

Did you know?

Eventually I will be just a glitch in your memory, a fragment on your timeline, and then, you'll forget. Like everyone else will forget. And you will move on. Like everyone else will move on. And you'll be euphoric just like you were before.

It is predetermined. Fate.

Did you know?

I'm not saying it'll be now. Maybe it'll be tomorrow, or next week. Or perhaps in ten or twenty years. But it will be. And that's okay. It's something that I've always known. And maybe, deep down, you've always known too. I hold no fear of death in my heart.

So, go.

Be radiant. Smile. Be happy.

And thank you.

For everything.

Author's Note: Reviews of all kinds are welcome-comments, critiques, questions, hate, and error notifications. Make a writer happy, please. :) Reviews make this person very happy.