Hey guys! I just wanted to take this time to say thank you for reading so far! I hope you continue to enjoy the story. Also, I hope everyone had a happy and safe holiday! I still don't own jack. Please R&R!

Ch.3: The Girlfriend Desparation

It was Friday evening and Penny, Bernadette, and Amy sat together on Bernadette's couch. Each of them held a glass of wine in their hand along with a tissue as the last few minutes of Beaches played out on the TV in front of them.

"I just love this movie," Amy spoke excitedly with only a faint glimmer of tears visible in her eyes. "That Bette Midler is one spunky lady!"

"I know!" Raj sobbed from his place in the armchair. At the moment he had dibs on the tissue box and was sobbing uncontrollably to the occasional odd looks from the other girls. "And such a beautiful singer." He blew his nose, "Wind Beneath My Wings gets me every time." He grabbed his beer off the table and took a swig in an attempt to subdue the sobs.

Bernadette smiled uneasily at the sobbing Indian man. In the recent days since their impromptu trip to the bar, Raj had taken to spending as much time with their group as he did with the guys, if not more. They all felt sorry for the lonely man and his inability to find a woman, but it was turning into an imposition, to say the least.

"That's nice." Bernadette replied "So, Raj, got your eye on anyone special lately?"

At this, the Indian man began sobbing even more heavily, "I'm so lonely!" He cried, blowing his nose rather crudely and calming himself a few moments later. "No," he sighed "I did have my eye on Alex, but she saw Leonard first."

At the mention of Alex, Penny immediately took interest in the subject, "No! No, no, no, no."

"Why not?" Raj sounded somewhat indignant

"Sweetie, do you remember Emily?"

"Ah, four weeks of the best sex I've ever had….and it only cost me $500,000!" he beamed

"But she dumped you because you gave up your money…" Bernadette trailed.

"What does this have to do with Alex?"

"The woman asked Leonard out knowing he was taken." Penny said, downing a gulp of wine in the process, "Are you really so desperate that you'll take a woman who may or may not be slipping her number into another guy's pocket when you're not looking?"

Raj looked thoughtful for a moment. "If she's got a nice ass, I can overlook it."

"If I may interject here," Amy cleared her throat "First of all, I'd like to say that, as her attention is currently focused on Penny's man, I find the chances of you successfully 'wooing' her slim. Second, there's a beautiful young Indian woman who just started in the neuroscience department at work." She smiled, slinging an arm around Penny's shoulders. "And by 'beautiful, well, let's just say she could put Bestie here to shame." Amy leaned to Bernadette and quietly whispered, "That was for Raj's benefit. No, she couldn't."

At first, Raj looked overjoyed at the prospect of finally getting a date with someone who was smart and beautiful and would make his parents happy at the same time, but his smile faltered as a thought occurred to him. "I don't know. I'm tired of being lonely, but what if she finds out I'm rich and just wants the money?" There was an air of 'That's right, I had servants' arrogance in the question that caused each of the girls to stare blankly at him for several moments before Amy raised a point.

"Raj…She's a neuroscientist and she makes at least as much as you do as an astrophysicist. More to the point, she's Indian. Her father is also a doctor in the field of obstetric gynecology and the rest of her family tree is likely teeming with M.D.s, corporate attorneys, scientists, and the occasional taxi driver who exudes bravado, but cries about the shame his profession brings on his family when he thinks no one's watching."

"Hey that's racist!"

"And yet so true." Amy mumbled

Raj nodded his concession to her comment and took a swig of his non-fat beer. "You're right. I'm overthinking too much. I think I will talk to her."

"How are you going to do that?" Bernadette asked "You can't be drunk for an entire relationship." Before Penny could respond to that, Bernadette held her hand up to stave off any comment.

"Your company doesn't test any drugs for mutism, does it?"

Bernadette merely smiled in response, but offered no answer, instead turning to Penny and changing the subject. "So Penny, how's it going with the baby?"

"Actually, better than I thought it would. He's really easy going for the most part." Penny sipped her wine "You should come by and see him."

Bernadette visibly tensed at the offer and chuckled nervously, "I don't know about that. You know I'm not good with kids."

"Oh, come on! Not even little innocent babies? Look at this face!" Penny pulled out her cellphone and showed them all a picture of the small infant that Sheldon had dubbed "Moonpie". "I didn't think I'd be any good with him either and I have way less experience than you!"

"Well…" Bernadette sighed looking over the picture. "He is cute. I'm not making any promises, but maybe Howie and I could watch him while you work tomorrow." It was no secret that Bernadette was not fond of children, but, like many women, she still held a soft spot in her heart for babies. They were cute, innocent and helpless, they made cute little noises, and most of all, they hadn't had the chance to grow into little heathens yet.

"Where is he, anyway?" Amy wondered

"Oh, Sheldon volunteered to keep him."

"Sheldon?" Bernadette questioned

"Yep."

"Sheldon Cooper?"

"Yep."

"Shut. Your. Ass!" Raj exclaimed "Are you insane? He could be dissecting the poor thing!" Raj looked rather dismayed at the thought while Penny, Amy, and Bernadette laughed openly at the absurdity, remembering Sheldon's botched attempt to dissect a brain in Amy's lab.

"Raj, Penny laughed, "I'm sure Sheldon is not going to dissect a baby. Actually, he's been surprisingly accepting of him. He even calls him Moonpie.

Amy sighed wistfully, "Apparently you either have to be a cuddly animal or a baby to get some lovin' from that man."

"Or fake the flu." Bernadette piped up, casting a knowing glance toward the other woman as Penny and Raj looked at the pair with twin looks of confusion.

Back in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, Sheldon had set up the apartment for yet another edition of 'Fun With Flags' and was sitting in his usual spot on the couch with "Moonpie" in propped up next to him. Sheldon had donned a Stetson hat, button up western shirt, skinny jeans, and cowboy boots. The ensemble was complete with spurs and a toy revolver that sat holstered at the scientist's hip. Moonpie had been dressed in a distinctly Texas themed onesie that bore the Texas flag on it and the words "Everything really is bigger."

"And 3…2…1. Howdy ya'll, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and welcome to another episode of Dr. Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun With Flags. Today we're going to be learning about the flag of my home state, the great Republic of Texas! Yee-haw."

Moonpie made a few cooing and gurgling sounds of interest in response to the stimulus of Sheldon's voice.

"What's that, Moonpie? Oh, yes! Why, I do believe you're right." He turned to address the camera again. "My assistant here tells me that the current flag of Texas has been used for almost the entirety of Texas' existence, both as a country and a state. It wasn't until 1933 that the flag was officially recognized as the state flag of Texas…boy, I bet that was an exciting day for Pop-pop."

Moonpie made some more soft vocal noises in response and Sheldon reacted in the same fashion. "Boy, you are just on a role today."

"He's telling me that the national flag of Chile is almost identical to the flag of Texas…a previously known fact which hadn't received much notice until the Chilean mining incident of August 10, 2010. "

"Hey Sheldon," Penny said, poking her head into the door, "I'm back from Bernadette's"

Sheldon's expression flattened and he looked thoroughly unamused at being interrupted yet again. "Aaand cut!"

"Penny, you don't just simply walk into an apartment."

"But, you gave me a key." Penny retorted, picking up Moonpie and taking his place on the couch.

"Boy that was a mistake." Sheldon muttered under his breath, eliciting a smile from his blonde neighbor as she stood with the baby and headed to the door.

"Goodnight Sheldon."

Moments of silence passed with Sheldon merely sitting and staring awkwardly at the camera following his neighbor's departure with his co-host.

"Well drat; now what am I going to do?"

"Leonard and Penny?"

"Leonard and Penny?"

"Leonard and Penny?"

Sheldon completed his knocking ritual and waited for Penny to open the door. It was two in the morning and his sleep had been disturbed by the cries originating from her apartment.

"What do you want, Sheldon?" A harried looking Penny asked, standing in the doorway in her usual tank top and shorts with a robe worn over. Sheldon observed dark circles around her eyes and an exhausted posture in general.

"I assume that you're aware of the incessant caterwauling noise which seems to be emanating from your apartment."

As if to emphasize the physicist's point, the cries grew in both volume and intensity as he spoke, prompting a weary sigh from the waitress.

"Yes, I'm aware, Sheldon. Anything else?

"A little help, maybe?" Came Leonard's muffled plea from inside the apartment.

Sheldon ignored his roommate's request, "No, just checking in." He smirked "You two kids have fun."

Penny just groaned and shut the door to his retreating back before stepping back into her apartment to face the upset child along with her struggling boyfriend.

"So, what have we tried?" Penny asked, taking the infant from Leonard's arms as she came to stand next to him. The change did nothing at all to ease the Moonpie's cries as Penny rocked him gently. Leonard tipped his head in thought at her question. He looked every bit as tired as she did.

"We fed him, we changed him, we burped him, we tried playing with him." Leonard counted the items off on one hand while rubbing his tired eyes with the other hand. "We've done everything."

The couple wracked their brains amid the cries for several moments when Penny was suddenly struck with inspiration as her thoughts drifted back to their whackadoodle friend across the hall.

"Wait!" She gasped, holding the baby up over her head in a burst of excitement. "There is one thing we haven't tried."

"Soft Kitty?"

"Soft Kitty."

And with that, the pair of them stood there in the small living space singing the song to the infant. They were both amazed to find that it actually worked, too. Neither one of them could've asked for more in that moment. They both found themselves flooded with relief and a new sense of accomplishment, as well as wholeness. It was just them together; Leonard, Penny, and a baby. It was almost perfect.

Unfortunately, having Sheldon Cooper for a neighbor doesn't always afford a person the time to bask in life's tender moments. They had only been standing in complete silence for a few seconds before Sheldon's voice was heard again on the other side of Penny's door.

"Soft Kitty is for when you're sick!"

Here's 3! For obvious reasons, this one took longer to get posted than usual. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the read! Please R&R!