In the Arms of Angels
McRaider
Summary: Carol and Daryl discuss children over little Judith. Carol gains another glimpse into Daryl's hellish childhood.
Author's Note: I've wanted to do this for a few days, and with everything that's going on in CT it felt like maybe a little tribute was necessary. Bless the babies and teachers that were taken home far too early. All the errors are my own, and hopefully I am getting Daryl's accent right, it's tough because I was born in the deep south and can talk with his accent, but I can't write it, which is hilarious.
Please Read, review and enjoy!

Carol had very few expectations when it came to Daryl Dixon, not because he was useless or unworthy of such expectations. Quite the opposite, actually, she'd learned that Daryl defied all expectations set up by most people. When she'd first met him he was an angry man who barely interacted with anyone else in the camp, and the interactions he did have typically involved voices being raised—usually his. At that time, nearly a year ago, she'd have likened him to her late husband Ed, knowing little else about the man who was just barely in his late thirties.

Now though, since the loss of his brother Merle, Carol had learned that Daryl was in fact, nothing like her former husband and even more so he was a caring and loving individual…in his own twisted way. She stepped into the common area of the prison where'd they'd taken refuge, and couldn't help the smile that lit her face up as she saw Daryl sitting on a bench with a bottle in his hand, in his other hand and arm he cradled Judith Grimes, the newest addition to their dysfunctional family.

Judith wasn't a fussy baby, except on the rare occasion, and to everyone's great surprise the only one who could quell her persistent tears was their rough and tumble redneck. He handled the baby like he'd been holding them forever, cradled in his arms with an ease of a man born to be a father. Today was clearly no different; she could hear him whispering to her, she couldn't quite tell if he was singing or telling her something, but either way he had a smile on his face that he only ever let Carol see. It was clear that if Judith had done one thing, it was cracking through the hard exterior he'd put up against those around him.

Carol smiled as she stepped forward, the closer she came the easier she'd heard him. He was humming a soft tune she didn't recognize "That's beautiful," she whispered, careful not to startle him. He must have heard her prior because he never looked up as she took a seat beside him and watched as Judith suckled her bottle.

"Can't remember the words, but my momma used to sing it when I was a little thin'," she knew it was the only explanation he'd offer, so she didn't push any further.

"You're very good with her, I half expected you to be terrified of holding her all together," Carol chuckled; she hoped he wouldn't take that badly.

Daryl glanced up at her and smirked, "Nah, know a thing or two 'bout babies." Carol waited, knowing there was more to the story if she kept silent. Daryl was able to share about his past, but only if he believed the person he told would keep the information safe. Carol was probably the only person who knew as much as she did about his childhood and youth. "One of my dad's many conquests dropped a kid on his door step one day. She was a tiny thin', not much big'er than Ass-kicker here. Anyway while he was off screwin' around me an' Merle took care o' her."

"I bet you were a wonderful big brother, how old were you?"

"Twelve, maybe thirteen. It didn't last long, no more than a year or two, called her Lily after our mom."

"How did Merle handle the baby?"

"He raised me, so better than you might think, but he didn' like her. A fact he made clear after awhile."

She was almost afraid to ask, she could tell by a deeper tone to his voice that he didn't really want to talk about this, but she couldn't help it. She needed to know, "What happened?"

He looked up and to her surprise, his eyes were damp with tears, though they would likely never fall, it was clear he'd been attached. "He was 'posed to watch her, all he had to do was keep an eye on her."

The words were hauntingly familiar "All you had to do was keep an' eye on her!" He'd shouted at her, anger piercing his every word, anger and a haunting sadness now that she thought back on it.

"We was huntin', campin' and I was goin' out to catch some fish. I was always the better fisher. He was too busy gettin' high to realize she followed me, but she tripped and took a wrong turn…fell down a small slope an' hit her head as she landed in the water."

"Oh god, she drowned."

"Yeah."

"I found her."

Judith began to whimper as he rocked her back and forth a little bit, his soothing song coming back, he wasn't a singer by nature, but she could tell if he'd practiced he'd be wonderful. It didn't seem to matter as Judith instantly calmed down.

"Daryl, I'm sorry."

He looked up again, his eyes clear again, "What fer?"

"Everything, your sister Lily, your terrible childhood, for Sophia, and all that you went through for a child who was already…" she paused taking a slow breath, "already dead."

He gently knocked his shoulder against hers, "Don't be, it's in the past."

"Did you…did you ever consider having children of your own?"

Daryl looked at her, "No, I couldn't risk Merle hurting another child. I couldn't save myself or Lily from him; maybe I can save some other poor brat. 'Sides who'd wanna have a kid with me."

Carol kept her mouth shut, not wanting to admit what was on her mind. All the same she was pleasantly surprised as she put her head against his shoulder when he didn't flinch away. She watched Judith as she cooed in his arms. For now they could be content with being their own little family.