Moments to Never Share

Bilbo quietly observed the latest dwarf out of the corner of his eye. This Thorin fellow had a commanding aura that Bilbo found himself strangely drawn to. He found himself wanting to impress this seemingly aloof dwarf. But that was neither here nor there, and certainly had nothing to do with his decision to join the dwarves on their quest. And the deep baritone voice certainly wasn't a factor either. Nor did the sorrowfully beautiful lyrics nearly move him to tears as he felt the grief of a race not his own, as strongly as if he were there himself when Erebor fell.

This dwarf, with his mysterious and tragic past, who disdained an army of warriors for a band of tinkers, was most definitely not the only reason that Bilbo ran out of his door the next day. In fact, Bilbo had only been suffering from a momentary lapse of judgment, not some strange magnetism. But whatever the reason for his joining the company, Bilbo would always remember that night. When the firelight gleamed and he sat quietly observing this commanding figure.

The first few days, Bilbo was in for disappointment. The caring leader was gone, and in his place, a harsh taskmaster. Thorin pushed them onward, and had a harsh word ready for Bilbo every time he messed up. When Bilbo had bumped into him as Thorin abruptly stopped, Bilbo didn't think that he would survive the encounter. Surprisingly, Thorin had merely turned away and muttered something uncomplimentary about "clumsy burglars". But then Bilbo's skill as a burglar were put to the test for the first time.

Fili and Kili, curse their names, had thought it a good idea to send Bilbo up against trolls. Now, Bilbo didn't want to refuse, for he feared that the Company's already low opinion of him might sink lower. But he hadn't expected Fili and Kili to abandon him to do it himself. Thorin would be impressed if you retrieved the ponies all by yourself. Not so bad of a burglar after all.

And Bilbo had been very proud of himself for escaping notice... until he got caught. Fili and Kili had long since disappeared Bilbo fully expected to be killed without any attempts to rescue him. But then the Company emerged from the bushes. Bilbo's heart soared as he saw Thorin charge at the trolls. Sure, he had been caught, but all is well that ends well.

Until he was caught again. This time, he had no opportunity to escape, and could only watch in horror as Thorin was ordered to lay down his weapon or allow the hobbit to be killed. Bilbo watched intently. I'm not afraid to die for him. This thought caught him by surprise, and he was so distracted by this thought that he almost missed the emotion that flashed through Thorin's eyes. Rage? Fear? Bilbo couldn't discern the emotion, but he knew it was there nonetheless.

Thorin plunged his sword into the ground and motioned for the rest to do the same. And while Bilbo was immensely glad that Thorin didn't hate him enough to sacrifice him, he cringed at the notion that he was now responsible for endangering Thorin, his nephews, of whom Thorin was very protective, and the rest of the Company.

As Bilbo lay amongst the pile of dwarves, he resolutely ignored the tiny little thought that maybe he would like to have been placed just a little closer to Thorin. After all, Thorin surely had a few choice words ready for Bilbo. But there! A chance to redeem himself!

"You shouldn't eat them, you know. They have parasites, worms!" Dwarves immediately began to protest. "I most certainly am not infected!" Bilbo wanted to bury his face in his hands. But seeing as he was tied up, the best he could do was attempt to redirect the trolls attention. However, before he could spin another tale, there was a thump, and yelp. Thorin had apparently kicked at those who were protesting their cleanliness. Bilbo noted that while Thorin did not declare himself to be safe to eat, he did not lower himself to claim to have a parasite.

The dwarf's nobility in the face of danger was inspiring.

Fortunately for the Company, Gandalf soon appeared and turned the trolls to stone through a judicious use of sunlight. And as Bilbo expected, Thorin indeed had more than a few choice words. Despite the sting of his words, Bilbo kept recalling the look on Thorin's face when he lowered his weapon.

That look stayed in Bilbo's mind long after the Company left the trolls behind.