Hello, everyone! Sorry about the huge gap of updates. I've been thinking about this nonstop, and finally found the motivation to finish it. After this chapter, there shouldn't be more than two chapters until it's complete. As always, thanks for reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting! Now, I literally just finished this chapter, my bad for the shortness, so I'll more than likely go back and revise and edit it again. However, I felt you guys deserved an update. From here on out, the fam will be much more integral to the story. Enjoy! (:

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Emil swallowed the water before him in great gulps, filling the uncomfortable silence the best he could. His other hand scratched lightly at his bandaged arm.

"This had better be important enough to miss school for," Lukas said, a large coffee mug clutched in his hands. A recently showered and clothed Emil sat opposite him, crowded in on either side by Li Xiao and Tino. Matthias and Berwald bordered the Norwegian's own chair.

"It is," Li Xiao answered, his hands wringing together under the table. Lukas blinked at him slowly, calculating.

"Good. I'd like to hear that from Emil now."
"Lukas, give him time," Tino said, throwing a warning gaze. He patted lightly at Emil's arm. "It'd be easier if you just told us what has been going on. You can trust us."

Emil bit his lip, closing his eyes and leaning back in his chair. He sighed, rubbing his face, as if the action would rid himself of this terrible situation.

"I just don't know how to start," Emil muttered.

"How about from the beginning?" Tino provided, keeping a protective hand on the arm of the Icelander's chair. Emil laughed, a harsh, bitter sound.

"Where is the beginning?" The simple sentence would have sounded harmless enough, but Emil's voice cracked at the end. He bit his lip again. Lukas leaned forward, and the entire room turned dangerously serious. Surprise was too light a word to explain their reaction to the broken sound their friend had just made. Li Xiao gripped his hand.

"I was," Emil started, pausing to try and regain his composure, "I was trying to be mature and handle the situation myself, but I don't think I can anymore. I think I was just being stupid, stupid, stupid, and I should have just asked for help before it got bad. I should have just told you."

"Situation? Told me what?" Lukas asked, annoyance surfacing as Emil stepped around the issue.

"I'm sick. I'm really, really sick, and I don't know what to do, Lukas. I'm tired of hiding and being scared. I'm tired of lying and feeling like I have to do everything on my own. I'm tired of being alone, of being terrified that there isn't anything for me to live for anymore." Emil's disposition crumbled, his elbows coming onto the table as he cradled his face in his hands. The shame, embarrassment, and absolute helplessness darkened his mind, twisting it with doubt as he braced himself against the family he locked out. Tino immediately began rubbing his back, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I probably won't even live long enough to figure it out." This time Li Xiao turned on him.

"What?" But first, Emil raised his head, staring emptily towards his brother.

"I went blind a few weeks ago. I've known it was going to happen for over a year now, but it was still so scary, and I still tried to hide it from you." No one but Lukas existed right now. "I thought it was something I should be able to handle myself, but I was wrong. I was so wrong, Lukas, oh my God," Emil imagined his brother's disgusted face, staring intently with disappointment, yet he still wished he could see it. "And I went through a useless procedure, because it turned out a tumor was the cause." Emil could barely speak beyond the hiccups soon to escalate to ragged sobs, and Li Xiao brought him in a close hug, slightly awkward given their separated, seated positions.

"Emil," Matthias breathed, voice uncharastically quiet.

"We had a biopsy, and this morning I received a phone call on the way here from the doctor," Emil finally met Lukas's eyes, the stare eery with his lack of sight. "I have cancer, Lukas. I was never doing drugs. I just didn't want to tell you and disappoint you anymore than I already do, because you hate me enough already, right?" He was on a roll, rambling without hesitation as his darkest thoughts splattered across the table: Emil, a useless, hopeless waste of space causing nothing but a hole in the pocket of his lone brother who had been generous enough to take care of his sorry ass. "And I-"

Lukas rushed around the table to envelope his brother in a hug, scooting the chair back as he cradled the Icelander, kneeling. His breathing shook around his own tears, throat thick with self loathing. He'd caused his brother to feel this way. He was to blame. Lukas may have killed his own brother.

"Emil, I'm so sorry," Lukas clung tightly, his icy blue eyes dimmed with a spinning wheel of emotions. Immediate hatred filled his lungs, crushing them. How on earth could he even respond? Lukas was the big brother, the protector. The only thing he managed to do was let pride block out the only family he had left. He rocked on his heels, focusing on not hyperventilating as he stared up at the ceiling. The air, thick with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee, offered no solace or warmth; instead, it choked Lukas as he tucked Emil's head beneath his chin. The feelings of comfort and home the two had built up felt like an incomprehensible lie...instead, a prison of secrets and the fear of judgement separated the two more than any wall could. But still, Lukas' lips trembled with thoughts and emotions and words he couldn't find the correct way to say.

"You were never alone, Emil. We would've helped you! Being an adult isn't trying to do everything on your own," Matthias stood from the table pacing before his chair.

Lukas nodded against Emil's hair, his hands twirling the soft tufts, trying more to steady and calm himself than his brother. He pulled back, staring intently into the unseeing eyes before him.

"I never hated you. I've always been so proud of you, and nothing you can do can stop me from feeling that way, Emil," Lukas clasped his hand tightly around Emil's shoulder. "I don't want you to die. I don't want you to give up. Please, please, please, just...we can find doctors. We can hire the best of the best to help you." Lukas stood, dabbing at his nose with his sleeve as he pulled a phone book from a kitchen drawer. "If there's not one here, we'll look elsewhere. I don't care if we have to fly across the damn world; I won't let you go."

Emil's hands hung limply at his side in shock. The ideals of a twisted, hateful brother shattered like glass in his head. Lukas rambled on, speaking in rushed tones as he flipped through page after page in a frantic, desperate attempt.

"It might not even be that bad," Emil said. "I hung up before the doctor explained much."

"What did he manage to tell you, then?" Tino asked, chewing his thumb nail nervously. Emil, thought, scratching his head.

"He just said it was rare? That doesn't really mean untreatable, though," even still, Emil tried to dumb down the details. Why? They already knew, and weren't screaming at him with venomous slurs; guess old habits die hard.

"Let's call the doctor back, then. We'll all go with you," Berwald pitched in. He sipped his coffee, hands clammy against the cool glass. Lukas nodded from his position at the counter, taking the phone from Emil's outstretched hand to look through the redial. He grabbed a pen and paper, exiting the room to hold the conversation outside.

"I want to take a nap," Emil muttered, drowsiness coming at, as always, the perfect moment. Matthias nodded.

"Hey, no problem, buddy. I'll help you up the stairs," the Danish man stood, but Emil smiled slightly in protest.

"It's okay-"

"Emil, let us help. Don't push us back anymore," Tino asked, his voice steady and pleading. "Please." Emil hesitated, nodding slowly as he let Matthias help him from his seat, then up the steep steps as Li Xiao trailed mere steps behind.

Berwald brought a fresh cup of tea, placing it at Emil's bedside, bringing the Icelander's pale hand to touch it so he knew it was there. Matthias fluffed the pillows, and Tino tucked him in. Li Xiao stood out of the way, patient as the family moved without the need for words. They each said a 'sleep well,' exiting the room with a silent step and a worried glance behind them.

Before the last of them even left the room, before Li Xiao even made it across the room to sit beside the teen in his protective manner, Emil closed his eyes and slowly drifted. Faintly, he felt hands grabbing him; he heard screaming, but he was too far away, too faded to respond or even remotely understand. He didn't hear the immediate retreat of his family, or the slam of the front door as his brother raced up the steps. Emil didn't register his body being picked up, or the incessant chants of his name. He didn't feel his thrashing body, surging with a seizure nearly knocking him from the grasp of whoever it was holding him (Berwald, maybe?). No, he was already asleep.