Ok… This is my first Avengers fic… I'm not 100% sure where I'm going with this yet.. It was a thought that popped into my head and wouldn't leave it alone... I can't promise regular updates, but I will try… Oh… and I don't own anything Marvel related... just my OC, Ava. I do promise lots of Loki whump.

Who I Was

He couldn't remember a time where he'd felt so cold. Walking around aimlessly for days on end was taking a toll on his exhausted body. He'd been cast out, so much so like his brother, no his not-brother. Powerless, weak, they were conditions that he wasn't used to, that he despised. He tried to tighten his hold on his lithe body to stop the shivering, but nothing helped. He had no magic, no armor, just his leathers, boots and a thin tunic. The rain was freezing and it had been this way for a couple days. At least he thought it had been a couple days, they were starting to run together. It was hard to concentrate. He'd counted himself lucky when he found the road, less so when he hadn't encountered a soul in all the while he'd been walking. He knew he was in Midgard, but not where. His feet felt ungainly and sought for purchase on the slick road. As luck would have it, he slipped and fell into the unforgiving pavement. The days without sustenance finally caught up to him, and he found that he had barely the energy to lift his body from where it fell. His arms shook with the effort of hefting his body up to a crawl and started laughing. The laugh quickly turned into a painful cough and he wheezed trying to catch his breath. He only managed to drag himself a few feet when his vision started to blur. There was a light coming around the turn in the road and he cursed his weakness for not being able to wave whoever was in the vehicle down. At this point he didn't care who it was that found him. Wounded pride be damned, he knew he needed help.

The light was blinding as he saw it bearing down on him, it stopped moving, and he crashed down to the pavement again. He fell with his head facing the lights and saw the silhouette of legs running toward him. His breaths were still coming in painful gasps as he realized that someone was talking. Female, she had a soothing voice. He was being rolled onto his back and his hair pushed away from his face. He felt hands cup his face - it had been far too long since someone had been this gentile with him. He felt tears begin to sting his eyes and mix with the rain. He couldn't focus on her face with his vision blurred. Suddenly she was very close.

"Can you hear me?" she asked loudly. He started to say something to her but upon opening his mouth all he could do was cough. Gut wrenching, gasping coughs that left him nearly incapacitated in their wake.

"Okay, just nod you head for yes and shake it for no," she said. He nodded his head. "Good. Do you think you can walk?" He was hesitant this time, but nodded.

She traced the cuts and bits of broken skin that adorned the parts of his body that she could see. "Someone got you pretty good, didn't they?" she asked as she cupped his face again. This time he was trembling and his teeth chattered. "Come on, I'll help you to your feet then we can get you some place dry and warm. Sound good to you?"

He jerkily nodded his head this time. She helped him into a sitting position where he immediately clutched her and closed his eyes with a groan turned cough. She was patient with him though. Once his cough settled down again she placed one of his arms across her shoulders and her arms around his torso. He hated being so insufferably weak, but it appeared that was how his father, no, his not-father wanted him to be. All thoughts of his "not-family" left his mind as the girl lifted him up to his feet. He whimpered as his legs tried to buckle under him again, but she was quick to stop his fall. He didn't remember his body hurting this badly before he fell.

"Come on, I know it must hurt and your head's probably spinning, but the faster I get you to my truck, the faster I can get you home."

She began dragging him toward her vehicle, and he was ashamed that he could barely move himself to help her. It was as if his body wanted to shut down now that he had help. He wanted to laugh at the idea of her getting him home. He didn't have one. No one would have a monster like him. If she knew who he was and what he had done she would have left him to the fates on the road. When they reached the side of her vehicle, his world started to spin, and his stomach, though empty, betrayed him. He couldn't stop the plummet to his knees as his body heaved, but all there was to be relieved of was frothy stomach acid and bile. After a few moments he became aware of himself again. He was gasping for air and shuddering violently. Only then did he realize that he was leaning heavily on the girl and she was rubbing his back, and whispering to him that he was going to be alright, that she would take care of him until he was better. Why, why would she do that for him? She didn't know him, he was nothing to her. He couldn't even blame it on sentiment. He didn't understand. These were his last thoughts as she pulled him back up to his feet. This time the change in his altitude was too much for his body to handle. He tried to grasp onto consciousness, but his weary and battered body couldn't take anymore. His eyes rolled back and his body slumped forward onto the girl.

OooOooOooOooOooOooOooOooOooO ooOooOooOooOooOooOooOooO

He woke inside of a large vehicle. His face was being wiped with something soft. The soothing gesture almost sent him back into a doze. He was feeling overly warm and had a pressure in his chest that felt as though something weighted was upon it. His eyes fluttered open as he tried to take in his surroundings.

"Hey, you're okay. You're going to be okay now." The girl said looking him in the eyes. They were a familiar color. Who had he seen with those same toffee colored eyes? They were filled with so much compassion and maybe a splash of pity. He felt tears pricking his eyes again. His body was succumbing to mortal illness. He was ashamed and scared. He was at the mercy of whatever this fey creature would do to him. It was almost as though she read his mind.

"I'm not going to hurt you." she said as she ran her thumb over his cheek. "Can you speak? What's your name, hun? I'm Ava."

"Lo….Lok…" his body was consumed by a coughing fit.

"Ok, we'll wait on that… I'll just call you Lo for now, okay?" He nodded thankful he didn't need to speak again.

"Jarvis, take us back to the ranch, try to get a doctor out there, and let Tony know that I'm not going to be able to make it for my visit for a while."

"Right away Miss Stark." The voice said, making Loki's breath hitch.