Based on speculations surrounding episode 4x14 (Damon captured, tortured, possibly dying). Since I am obviously not a TVD writer (disclaimer!) and I have no true idea of what will happen in 4x14, I tried to stay away from a real plot in this fanfic and focused on the angst instead. So enjoy if you like angst, slight torture, and Damon dreaming about his mommy.


"I'm so happy to be here with you," she says softly. Her smile is gentle, softer than the touch of her hand on my face.

I drop my eyes, because if I keep looking at her lips…

It's wrong.

"Does this feel wrong?" her hand shifts on my face, and her voice lowers to a whisper.

And then Stefan punches me in the face.

The side of my head connects with the wall I'd been sitting with my back against, and I feel blood leaking from my nose. I try to lift my hand to my face and I can't, so I force my eyes open, half-expecting to see Stefan's angry, brooding face even though the dream is fading.

"How long do you want this to last?" Vaughn asks, and even though my eyes won't focus right, I can see the stake in his hands. "Because I'm getting bored with this cycle. Torturing you to death is self-gratifying, but the fourth time is starting to become tedious. Not to mention, Shane is anxious to finish you off for good."

"That's the best news I've heard all day," I manage to croak through a throat that's on fire. I've had my neck snapped at least once, and since Vaughn has been both bleeding me out and injecting me with vervain, everything's taking an eternity to heal. "Although you know if you kill me, you'll never find what you're looking for," I continue, trying to imbue some mockery into my tone.

Vaughn crouches and shoves the tip of the stake under my chin, forcing my head up. "Your friends stole the power that can rid the world of vampires and bring people back from the dead," he states in an infuriatingly calm voice. As if I didn't already know. "Telling me where they are means you get to die now, with a simple stake to the heart. If you don't tell me, we'll hunt them down anyway. And then, after you watch me make your girlfriend and your brother writhe," he hisses, digging the stake into the side of my neck, "then we'll kill you all."

Every snarky comeback I've ever used, every foul invective I've ever learned is gone from my mind. Words aren't enough. The only thing able to satiate my anger would be Vaughn's heart in my hand.

I don't realize that I'm straining against the vervain-soaked chains on my hands until I hear my wrist bones start to snap. Vaughn shrugs. "Guess you're not talking today. Fine. If you really want to see her again so badly – " he shoves the stake deeper into my neck, until I'm gagging on my own blood. "Enjoy dreaming about her death." The stake twists, and I drop back into the darkness.

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The house is so dark at night after the servants extinguish all the candles in the main rooms. But I don't need a candle. I know the way to my mother's favorite place.

But I stop outside the door of the library, suddenly afraid. She should be inside, curled up on the soft leather chair, her hair glowing in the lamplight. But what if she isn't?

"Why's my Damon out of his bed?" Her beautiful, resonant voice comes from behind me, a touch of exasperation mixed with the love in her tone. "Tell me what's wrong, darling. I'm right here."

I spin around and drink in the sight of her as she holds up a candle. Her warm brown hair spills over her shoulder in a long braid, and the laugh lines at the corners of her hazel eyes crinkle as she gives me a smile.

"I did the wrong thing again, Ma," I tell her, ashamed to feel my throat tighten.

She swats my chest and pulls me into a hug. I bury my head in the crook of her neck, allowing myself one moment to relax in the safety of her arms.

"Damon baby, you don't know yourself well enough if you'd say such a thing," she murmurs.

I shake my head against her shoulder. "No. I failed them. I failed Elena, I failed Stefan, and I failed Jeremy."

She draws back and takes my face in her hands. "I died Damon. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't Stefan's fault or your father's fault or your fault. Did I fail you when I died?"

"No," I burst out. "Ma, don't think like that."

She tugs a stand of hair out of my eyes and tucks it behind my ear. "Then don't you think you'll fail them by dying either. I never left you, baby. You'll never leave Elena." She smiles, and I can see the tears in her eyes. "You may not know yourself, but that girl does."

And I know Elena, I think. Elena watched me sacrifice myself so everyone else could get away. She'll be going crazy trying to rescue me. Which is why I have to die.

"Thank you,"I whisper to my mother, and she lets me go.

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I open my eyes to see sunlight filtering through cracks in the old wooden shutter covering the window to my left. Vaughn is nowhere to be seen.

Perfect.

The shutter is bolted closed, but I feel healed enough, strong enough despite the vervain in my system. I can get it open.

I look down past the chains on my hands and stare at my ringless finger. Even though I'm glad they took my daylight ring, I wish it was here, marking the place.

I close my eyes and see her, a blissful smile on her face, a peaceful look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Elena. I'll never leave you again, I promise. I love you –" I stop as a wave of panic comes over me. I'm a realist. Elena can't hear me, no matter how hard I'm willing her to hear. And there's no way for me to write this down.

"She knows," my mother's voice tells me, a faint echo of a dream, and I believe her.

"Don't come back, Elena," I beg in my head. "Don't look for me. You have to live. And please," I open my eyes and focus on the shutter. "Please don't hate me for this."

With the vision of Elena still vivid in my mind, I kick open the shutter and greet the light.