"Bobby, why won't you touch me?"

Bobby almost dropped his bottle as he spluttered beer out. What the fuck had Jackie just asked? He didn't. . .he couldn't have just heard what he thought he had, could he? He stared at a wide-eyed nine year old Jack. "Jack, what did you just say?" He asked slowly, carefully.

"You heard me right," Jack told him, still staring up at his big brother. He did that a lot-stared at Bobby.

"Do you understand what you asked though?" His baby brother couldn't understand, right? Why the hell would he ask something like that if he did? And where had it come from?

"I just mean," Jack cut off to climb up onto the chair. He folded his long skinny arms on the table and propped his chin on them. "you don't touch me. Mom holds my hand when I'm upset, Jerry messes my hair up, Angel picks me up when we're playing. . .but you don't touch me at all. It's like you keep away from me on purpose."

"I don't keep away from you; I spend all my time with you." Bobby said, and it was true – every minute he could, he was with Jackie. He loved his little brother.

"I don't mean it like that!" Jack said irritably and slammed his head down onto his arms. "I just. . .everyone else hugs me, but you-b-but. . ."

Bobby smiled. "So you want me to hug you?"

Jack sniffled. "No!"

Bobby's smile widened. He got up from his chair and stood at the side of Jack's. "Look at me, Jackie."

"Don't wanna."

Bobby's smile turned into a smirk at Jack's tone, his little brother was crying. . .all because he had ever hugged him. He grabbed hold of Jack and lifted him from his chair –shit, the kid was so light. He held him up and pressed against his body, his arms wrapped tightly around the skinny trembling body. He smiled when he felt Jack's arms wrap around his shoulders and his face bury into his neck.

"Hey, Bobby?"

Bobby kept his eyes on the small tv in their shared room. Technically it was Bobby's bedroom, but Jack had been sleeping in it since he had moved in rather than actually using his own room. "Yeah?" He asked trying to concentrate on the game, usually he would watch it downstairs but Angel had wanted to watch something other than hockey. . .so naturally they had bet against it, and Angel had won, so he got the bigger TV.

"Why won't you touch me?"

Bobby closed his eyes. Not this again. The last time Jack had asked that question was four years ago-yeah, he remembered exactly when Jackie had asked.

"I'm not leaving 'til you answer me." Jack told him, looking up at his big brother from the floor.

"You were going to leave anyway?" He opened his eyes and muted the TV.

"Not 'til I'd done my homework," Jack admitted.

"You've already asked me that, try something else." He unmuted the TV.

Jack sighed and pushed himself up from the floor. He walked over to the TV and switched it off. He knew doing that in the middle of a game Bobby was watching was stupid. . .but the question had been on his mind for a while now, and he couldn't shut it out any longer.

"Jack, turn the TV back on." His temper was rising. He didn't want to try and explain why he barely touched his thirteen year old brother, the reasons behind it was something he didn't like to think about.

"I mean it different this time."

Bobby looked at Jack, their eyes locked on the others. He should have known it was a bad idea to look his brother in the eye. . .looking into Jack's too blue eyes, he couldn't refuse him anything. He sighed. "You really wanna know?"

"Tell me."

Bobby sighed and sat up on the bed, patting the space in front of him. He watched Jackie crawl on the end of the bed and up to him, purposely sitting so his knees were touching Bobby's legs. "I. . .I guess it's because of. . ."

"What happened before I came here?" Jack said sadly, avoiding Bobby's eyes.

"You. . .we thought you didn't, erm, like remember."

Jack looked back up at Bobby, one eyebrow cocked with a 'really?' sort of expression. "I can block it out most of the time, but sometimes I can't. I always know what happened though, and I always will."

Bobby wasn't a soft person, but it broke his heart to know that Jack remembered what had happened to him. "That's why I wouldn't touch y' at all when y' first came here," He watched Jack's expression change to a confused one. "I was worried you'd be. . .I dunno, scared, or it would make you remember and y' wouldn't want t' be here with us."

"That's why, really?"

"And I was. . .worried you'd think I was tryin' something."

"Trying something?"

He rubbed his face with his hand. Damn it. "Yeah, y'know like. . .I was trying to do what they did to you."

He watched Jack stare at him with big eyes. . .and then he laughed. Bobby frowned, confused.

"I would never think that! I know you wouldn't hurt me, Bobby. Geez, you're so stupid!" Jackie laughed before getting on his knees and leaning forward, wrapping his arms around Bobby's neck.

". . .But you were scared when y' first came here. I didn't want t' make it worse for you."

"When I got used to it here, I thought you didn't like me – 'cause you were the only one that didn't touch me." Jack told him, his lips brushing his brother's neck. "I thought I'd done something wrong and mom said you showed your love differently to how other people did and I thought she was just trying to make me feel better, but then I got bullied and you scared those kids so bad, they peed themselves." He chuckled at the memory. "And I knew you cared about me, a lot as it happens."

Bobby let out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. He wrapped his arms around Jack's waist and pulled him close. He had been so worried Jack would think he was like those men that had hurt him. He had let Jackie sleep in his bed with him since the kid was nine and before that he had been in the other bed in his room. . .so had he been worried about what Jack thought? Or. . .was he worried he was like those men?

The thought scared him. He tightened his grip on Jack.

"I do care about you, Jackie."

Jack tightened his grip on his big brother. "I know, Bobby, I know."

He wasn't like those men. He cared about his brother, he loved him, he would never hurt him. Not ever.

Bobby kicked the bedroom door shut behind them. He practically dropped Jack onto his bed, smirking down at his brother. "I told y' t' take it easy you stupid fairy." He said as he watched his baby brother roll onto his back, one leg on the bed and the other hanging off the edge, a big stupid ass grin on his face.

"I-I did take it easy." Jack mumbled.

"'Course y' did, baby bro." He shook his head, still smirking amusedly. He bent down and pulled Jack's boots off, dropping them onto the floor before looking back at his brother. . .who was staring at him with a serious expression on his face.

Bobby stared back – Jack wasn't a baby anymore. He was eighteen as of today. They'd taken the youngest out to drink, but Jack wasn't used to so it hadn't taken long for him to get from tipsy to drunk. And of course it had been left to Bobby to drag him back home, while Jerry and Angel stayed out. He had let Jack drink in the house before, but never enough to get him drunk. For some reason, he wished he hadn't taken Jack out drinking. . .maybe it was because he'd been drinking too and he could clearly see how handsome and beautiful Jackie was, or maybe it was because of how Jack was staring at him, there was something in his eyes that Bobby hadn't seen in them before and he had seen every emotion, every feeling, every face Jack had ever had or ever pulled-but he hadn't seen this.

"Bobby,"

Bobby kept his eyes on Jack's; his brother's voice was low and filled with something he didn't recognise from the younger boy. He didn't like not knowing what was in Jackie's voice, or in his eyes. He knew everything about his baby brother. "Yeah?"

"Why won't you touch me?" Jack asked, his eyes still locked with Bobby's, but his cheeks heating up to a deep pink colour.

Bobby broke eye contact. "Not this again, c'mon Jackie, I explained last time. . .and that was like five years ago."

Jack scoffed. "You know that's not what I mean."

"Jackie, I don't know what y' talkin' about."

"Yeah you do," Jack propped himself up on his right arm, leaning closer to Bobby, who still wasn't looking at him. "Bobby, look at me."

Bobby knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help it. He looked at Jackie, his eyes locking straight onto his brother's beautiful too blue ones.

"You love me, right?"

Bobby could hear the desperation in his brother's voice. "You know I do. Now go to sleep, I'm gonna go back out."

"No." Jack snapped quickly, grabbing Bobby's arm even though the older man hadn't moved at all. "I don't mean like that, you know I don't! Tell me why,"

Bobby sighed. He couldn't take much more of this. "Why what, Jackie?"

Jack pushed himself up further and leaned closer to Bobby, their faces only a couple of inches apart. "Why you love me but won't touch me."

"Because you're my brother, Jackie, and that's how I love you-as a brother." All these years, he kept his feelings down, out of his head, and all of a sudden Jackie just brings them up. . .as if it's that easy.

"And you're my brother, but I love you more than that Bobby." Jack told him, his eyes lowering from Bobby's to the man's lips before back up to his dark eyes. "I know you're lying to me." He mumbled before closing the small gap between them and pressing their lips together.

Bobby's eyes widened. Jack's lips were as soft as he had imag-no. No, no, no! His brother shouldn't be kissing him. He shouldn't be just sitting there. He should move away. He should-fuck it. He loved Jack. He knew he did. Jack obviously knew he did. Was it that wrong? He would never hurt Jack. He would look after him, just like he had for years.

He kissed back.

As soon as Jack felt Bobby's lips moving against his own, he opened his mouth-their tongues sliding together and into the other's mouth. Jack shifted on the bed, moving closer to Bobby and pulling him closer against him, not breaking the kiss. He moaned into his brother's mouth.

Bobby pulled away first, feeling Jack's hands grab at him with need and want –now he realised what had been in his brother's eyes and voice- and looked down, catching the bulge in Jackie's pants. He smirked and chuckled.

Jack looked down. "Oops," He laughed.

Bobby looked up and smirked. "Excited are we?"

Jack's smile softened and became a little serious. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Bobby let out a deep breath. "I don't know."

"Yes you do."

He smirked. "I can't get anything by you, can I." He watched Jack shake his head, smiling. "I. . .I was worried. I thought if I told you, you'd think I was like them."

Jack sighed. "I should've known. Didn't we clear this up last time? I told you, I know you won't hurt me. I trust you, more than anyone actually."

"But last time we were talkin' about why I wouldn't hug you – not why I wouldn't kiss you."

"Or fuck me."

Bobby frowned; hearing Jack say it like that wasn't helping how he felt. . .he wasn't sure if it turned him on or made him feel worse for falling in love with his brother who was ten years younger than him.

"I would have said made to love to but that sounds a little. . .cheesy?"

Bobby huffed a laugh and shook his head.

Jack smiled, and after a moment it faded. "It doesn't matter what the context was or is, because the results are still the same – I know you won't hurt me. I trust you. I love you."

Bobby stared at Jack, looking at the pleadingly hopeful look on his face. Screw it. He was going to go to hell for fancying his brother anyway, he might as well go there for actually doing something about it. "I love y' too."

Bobby had never seen Jackie smile so wide and happy before. He grabbed his brother's shirt and pulled him close again, pressing their lips together heatedly.

End!

Thanks for reading, hope it's not too bad.