Final chapter!

Jeff—having snuck off for a bit to avoid the hospital—was somewhat surprised to find there was nobody waiting outside Sally's room when he arrived. Cautiously opening the door, he was equally surprised to find a poker game was going on between Sally, Steve, and Jane.

"Hi Jeff," Steve greeted while keeping his eyes on his cards.

"Um…hi," Jeff was obviously confused. "Sally, aren't you supposed to be lying down in agony screaming?"

"Epidural," she responded without taking her eyes off of her cards.

"And you're all playing poker?"

"Don't just stand there like an idiot. You can join us if you'd like."

"I wouldn't if you value your money," Jane also didn't look up from her hand. "Sally's won herself a fortune."

Jeff looked at Sally quizzically. "Sally, you play poker?"

"I'm learning a lot about Sally today," Steve shuffled the cards in his hand. "Did you know Sally used to be a cheerleader?"

Jeff found an open seat beside Sally. "No kidding? I could never picture you in a cheerleading uniform." That didn't stop Jeff from trying anyway.

"Jeff!"

"Hang on, I almost got it."

"Jeff!"

"Oh, let him indulge in a little fantasy," Sally brushed Steve off. "It's flattering in a demented sort of way. It's nice to have other men find me attractive."

"Especially when you're not," Jane innocently remarked. "I didn't mean you're not always attractive; I just meant at this moment when you're fat, and sweaty, and-"

"Yes, thank you, Jane, I got the point."

"It's kinda hard to sustain the image," Jeff turned to Sally. "Do you have a picture of you in your cheerleading uniform?"

"Okay, now it's creepy."

…

A completely useless Susan was curled up in a fetal position at the corner of the elevator repressing a traumatic childhood memory. "Is Susan claustrophobic?" Oliver inquired.

Patrick shrugged. "She has a fear of being trapped in enclosed spaces for too long. Thirty seconds is fine, but if it goes on any longer she'll freak out. It was funny the first time, now it's rather annoying."

Oliver groaned as he leaned his head back against the elevator wall. "That technician said it'd be fixed within the next hour. How long has it been?"

"Five minutes."

"Five minutes?"

"Not counting the nearly two hours we've been trapped in here."

Something inside Oliver Morris snapped. "I told you people this was a classic sitcom trope! Did any of you listen to me? No!"

"Did you know that this was going to happen?"

"No, I just had a feeling it would. I've seen this done to death on every sitcom! There's been a lot of buildup for a wedding or a birth episode but then something comedic—or something that's s'posed to be comedic—will happen, thereby impeding half or both of the couple from getting to the church or hospital. And while it's usually something different that stops them from getting there, the end results never change and they either get married, or have a baby, or sometimes both!"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I look at today as the much anticipated episode featuring a wedding and a birth: Susan and Steve are gonna get married, Steve doesn't show up and gets arrested, he and Susan get married in jail, then Sally goes into labor unexpectedly, there are obstacles that prevent everyone from getting to the hospital, disasters happen, but in the end she'll have the baby and everything's happy again."

"Yeah, but will I be there? You're the supposed sitcom expert; you tell me."

"This can play out three ways: the most likely outcome is you'll arrive just as Sally delivers, missing nothing."

"I like that option."

"Another option is you're not there for the actual birth and have to be substituted by an unlikely friend or acquaintance. On occasion the friend will tape the birth or have you on speaker phone listening to everything."

"Next choice."

"Next choice is a more dramatic route where they need to perform a C-section, but the guy always makes it in time for that too."

"That's just a little better, but I'm still not liking those last two options."

"There is a sort of option where the father-to-be makes it to the delivery room, but then passes out."

"Yeah, can we go back to the first option? How can we make that work?"

"I don't think we can."

"Why not?"

"If you look at this as a sitcom, then it'd be evident that we're only the characters. All of the outcomes are determined by the sitcom writer."

"Who's our sitcom writer?"

"Patrick, we have no sitcom writer! This is real life!"

"Is it Steve? Steve's a writer…though I've never actually seen him write." Oliver covered his face in his hands and groaned. "So, that's a no?" Patrick's response was Oliver shaking his head in his hands and Susan blubbering in the corner. Unsure of what to do, Patrick tried to get a hold of any of the others on his phone (with no luck). With a sigh, he backed his head against the elevator wall, neglecting to remember the injury he sustained there earlier. Thankfully, the bump wasn't bad enough for him to lose consciousness…

…but it was apparently enough to get the lights in the elevator to turn on.

…

Jane came back into the room just as the others were finishing another round. "Well, I've got a flush," Steve triumphantly flashed his cards, "and last I checked that beats three of a kind."

Sally pushed her face-up cards aside revealing a king, a five, and three sevens. "Damn sevens!"

"I don't know why you're so prejudiced against that number," Jane stated as she sat down. "Isn't it supposed to be a good luck number?"

"Not for me. Never has been, never will be. Let's find a new topic of discussion please."

They started another round in silence before Jane asked, "Did they fix the lifts yet?"

"Dunno," Steve answered back.

"It would suck if a woman in labor was trapped in a lift," Jeff commented. "They've been stuck for what two hours now?"

"I heard a nurse say they got all the lights in there working," Jane added. "And yet she still didn't tell me where the vending machines were."

"Did you ask her politely?" Steve emphasized the last word.

"Why should I? She should have known what I wanted just by looking at me that skinny cow."

"Had they figured out why the lifts stopped working?" Jeff inquired.

"Nope."

Jeff decided not to pursue that topic any further. "So Steve, has Susan phoned yet?"

Steve shrugged. "Dunno, she's got my mobile. Remember, she called you while we were driving?"

"Yeah, her mobile died; she was using yours."

"And she never gave it back to me. You three are the only ones who've got your phones on you." Steve looked at the group. "When was the last time any of you checked your mobiles?"

Everyone exchanged glances with each other before reaching for their respective cellular devices. Jeff's eyes widened when he noticed the time. "Bloody hell, have we been playing poker that long?"

Steve looked at his watch. "If that's the case, then shouldn't Patrick and Oliver be here by now?"

"You think they found something wrong with Patrick's brain? Maybe he needed to have like a brain transplant or something."

"A brain transplant?"

"It could happen; and Oliver isn't here because he's part of the brain transplanting!"

"I sincerely doubt that."

"The only way to find out is to call them...unless they're in the middle of the transplant, then that would be rather pointless."

"Your theory is rather pointless."

"Would the two of you shut it?" Sally snapped at them. "Steve, borrow Jeff's mobile and get a hold of Susan. Jane, text Oliver to see what's going on. Jeff…shut up! I will phone Patrick—who I guarantee is not in the middle of a brain transplant."

…

"Is it one of the Monty Pythons?" Oliver and Patrick were in the middle of a(nother) round of Twenty Questions and it was Oliver's turn to guess.

"Yep," Patrick answered with indifference.

"Is it a specific Python?"

"Nope."

"You don't know their names do you?"

"Nope."

"Then why-"

The ringing of a cell phone sent Susan into a panicked screaming fit. "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

"Susan calm down, it's just a mobile."

"I'll be a good girl Mummy," she repeated this odd phrase as she rocked herself.

"It's mine," Patrick looked at the caller ID. "It's Sally!" He immediately answered his phone. "Sally, thank God!"

"Hello Darling," she greeted with sarcastic calmness. "Are you aware what time is it?"

Patrick's eyes widened as he looked at his watch "Bloody hell, I am now."

"You should be here with me, you know."

"Yes, I should."

"So why aren't you?"

"Because the elevator's broken…and I'm trapped in it."

"Well, that would explain it then."

"Hey, how come you haven't called me back in the last few hours?"

"Because I was winning us a fortune beating these suckers in poker."

Patrick grinned. "That's my girl."

"I've got Steve, Jane, and Jeff here so it's safe to assume Oliver's with you?"

"Yep, him and Susan."

"Susan's with you too?" Patrick swore he then heard Steve ask the same question, but with the word 'him' in lieu of the word 'you'. "What is Susan doing trapped in an elevator with you?"

"Crying."

"Okay, why is Susan trapped in an elevator with you?"

"Well she came to check on me, and I met up with her. We were going to see you when everything stopped working."

"Patrick, do you not want to be here with me?"

"Of course I want to be there with you; I don't think I've ever wanted anything more. Why? Do you not want me there?"

"I would love nothing more than to have you here, but it seems as though fate is stopping you from being here with me."

"Faith who?"

"I said fate," she stressed the last word.

"Ah, that makes more sense—I don't think I know any Faiths." Oliver rolled his eyes and started playing with his tie again. With his luck, he was going to be there a while.

…

"Knock, knock," Dr. Tennant came into the room.

Sally waved at him while holding the phone to her ear. "Listen Darling, I've got to put you on speaker, the doctor's just come in."

"Hello Sally, just coming in for another check."

"Sally, who's that?" Patrick questioned through the receiver.

"The doctor," Sally casually responded back.

"He's not a woman!"

Dr. Tennant chuckled. "Last I checked."

"Is he really going to look…down there?"

"You do realize you're on speaker?" Steve inquired.

"Hi Steve."

"Hello Patrick."

"Getting back to the current matter at hand," Sally began, "our regular obstetrician was on holiday and Dr. Tennant was the only available alternative."

"But he's a bloke!" Patrick protested.

"I suppose it makes you uncomfortable that he'll have an all access pass to my vagina?" Steve, Jeff, and Jane cringed at how casually Sally asked that.

"Well…yes!"

"For God's sake Patrick, he's just doing his job. Would you rather do it for him?"

"Not when there's a baby coming out of you."

"My point exactly! This guy that I only met today gets access 'down there' to pull a human out of my genitals and you get access there any other time you want. It's not like it's going to turn him on, so is there any reason for you to be jealous?"

Jeff giggled. "Sally said genitals."

Steve squirmed. "I'm uncomfortable."

Jane didn't seem too affected. "I'm horny." She grabbed Jeff's arm. "Come on Jeff: let's go have sex in an empty hospital room."

"Okay!" Jeff followed her out like an excited dog.

As they left, Sally and Steve swore they heard Jane ask, "Can you do that sexy little dance from your thirtieth birthday for me?"

"Right," Steve clapped his hands together, "it's been…yeah, I don't think I have the right word to describe it. I'm going to go-"

"You can't go!" Sally interrupted. "There needs to be at least one other person in here with me."

"-sit in this chair," a dejected Steve sat down. "God, I'd rather be trapped for hours on a lift with Susan and Oliver—no offense to you Sally."

"I'd rather have you trapped in an elevator too Steve."

"It's nothing against you personally. It's just…birth. Birth makes me uncomfortable."

"Oh, so you think I'm comfortable?"

Dr. Tennant cleared his throat. "Is it alright if I do my job now?"

"No one's stopping you!"

"Times like these make me so glad I don't get involved in patient's personal lives."

"I can't help it if birth is an uncomfortable topic," Steve continued. "It's uncomfortable for all men. I could go into a whole monologue about why, but I'm pretty sure that's the last thing we need right now. And please tell me I'm not the only one who hears that static noise!"

Sally listened. "I hear it too. Is it coming from one of the machines?"

"It sounds like it's coming from your phone. Is Patrick still on speaker?"

"If he was, he would have said something by now. Patrick? Patrick, are you there?" No response. "Great," she hung up her phone and threw it aside—narrowly missing the doctor as he was about to perform the examination, "I've lost contact with my husband! I don't see how things could get any worse."

Steve groaned. "Well, we'll soon find out."

"What?"

"Whenever someone says 'things can't get any worse', something worse always happens. Let's just see what the next worse thing is, shall we."

"Okay Sally," Dr. Tennant stood up, "I believe you're ready to go."

Both Sally and Steve's faces went pale. Sally tried to talk, but she couldn't form any words so Steve did the talking. "When you say go…you mean go home?"

"I mean she can start pushing."

"So that's a no on going home?"

"I don't want to push!" Sally objected. "Can I opt for the C-section instead? I want a C-Section! Please give me a C-section!"

"Oh please, give her a C-section!"

"Oh my God!" Sally gripped the side of the bed. "I can feel pain! Bad pain!"

"How bad on a scale of one to ten?" Sally's reply was an agonizingly loud groan of pain. "So a nine?" another shorter, yet still loud groan of agony followed "Nine and a half?"

"More like a fucking eleven you wanker!"

"But…but…but you got the epidural! You're not supposed to feel pain!" Steve frantically looked at the doctor. "She feels pain! Why can she feel pain?"

"The epidural wears off when the baby moves farther down the birth canal nearing the time for the woman to push," Dr. Tennant explained. "Did you not know that?"

"No, I didn't!"

"You thought that the epidural's effect sustained throughout the entire delivery didn't you?"

"Well…yes! Can't you give her another one for the actual birth?"

"I'm afraid it doesn't work like that."

"Yeah, now you tell me! They should put a bloody warning label on epidurals: 'will not work during painful part'," Steve began his frenzied pacing before stopping at Sally. "You had to say things couldn't get any worse!"

"Shut up, Steve!" Sally demanded through gritted teeth.

"Why couldn't you say something like…like 'things can't get any better'? Maybe if you had said 'things can't get any better' Patrick would suddenly come bursting through the door and things might suddenly get better!"

The response to that statement were the following noises coming from outside of the room: someone running, shoes skidding against the tiled floor, a hurried 'WATCH IT' directly before what seemed like a series of crashes, more running, the skidding of shoes again, the door to Sally's room bursting open, and a person stumbling in, tripping over their feet, and falling to the ground. Thankfully, Patrick fell face first this time. He didn't seem affected by any of it though because he quickly got up and ran to Sally's side. "Sally," he took a few seconds to catch his breath, "hi." He was a bit taken aback by Sally slapping him, but he thought she was justified in doing so. "I know, I know, I'm sorry I got here so late."

Steve was clearly in awe of what just happened. "Damn, I'm good."

Sally managed to let out a breath of relief among the pained breathing (and another slap to her husband). "Don't ever do anything like this to me again Patrick!" She looked at his tuxedo. "Are you covered in vomit?"

"Don't worry, it's Susan's vomit." Patrick looked at Steve. "I'll take it from here, Steve."

Steve looked as if he was going to burst into happy tears. "Oh, thank God!"

When Steve headed for the door, a nurse entered the room and closed the door behind her. "Sorry sir, you can't leave."

"Oh yes, I can!" Steve opened the door, but after looking outside, he quickly came back in. "Oh no, I can't."

"I'm sorry sir, but for safety reasons you aren't allowed to leave until the custodial staff gets here. It would probably take a good thirty minutes to clean up, but that's not counting how long it takes the staff to get here by stairs."

"What happened? How did all that blood and…other suspicious fluid mixed in the blood get on the floor?"

Patrick sucked the air through his teeth. "Yeah, sorry, that was kinda my fault."

"So I'm trapped here? God, this day just keeps getting better and better," Steve grumbled as he shuffled to a corner of the room. "Go on; go about your whole miracle of life thing. I'll just stand here and brood." A miserable, pitiful sob escaped Steve.

Patrick and Sally stared at him for a moment before Patrick got back on focus. "Okay, can someone fill me in on what's happening?"

Sally looked at him incredulously. "I'm about to push a baby out of me, you idiot!"

"I know that, obviously. I just want to make sure I didn't miss anything else."

"Patrick, Darling," Sally calmly took his hand in hers, "let me assure you," both her grip and her demeanor became much more intense, "you didn't miss a God damn thing. Now I suggest you shut up and watch or else you're going to miss a certain body part once I hack it off!"

Patrick tried to pry his hand from Sally. "Okay, okay, I get the gist! Let go!" Once she did, he let out a small cry of pain. "Geez Sally, that really hurt!"

"Good!"

Dr. Tennant situated himself between Sally's legs. "Okay Sally, you feel like pushing?"

"Do I have to?"

"I'm certain you'll find you don't have much of a choice here," Sally quickly realized she didn't and started pushing. "Good," Tennant complimented, "keep it going…okay…stop." Once she got the okay to stop, Sally fell back onto the bed panting and crying.

"Should I do something?" a concerned Patrick asked.

"Haven't you done enough?" Sally bitingly questioned back.

"Actually Patrick there is something you can do," Dr. Tennant began. "Keep Sally elevated, it makes it easier for her to push. It's not a good idea for her to fall onto the bed like that. During breaks, you can allow her to lean back and then prop her up when she has to push again."

"Yeah," Patrick nodded, "I can do that."

"Words of encouragement wouldn't hurt either if you want to do more than hold her up. Speaking of which: prop her up she's gotta push again."

"Again?" Sally grunted. "Once is never enough for you men, is it?"

"Come on Sally, you can do this." Sally started to push again. "Good, good…okay…stop." Sally leaned back into Patrick. "The baby's head is crowning."

Patrick looked at the doctor uncertainly. "What does that mean?"

"It means the head will be out after the next push. You can come and watch this part if you want."

"Actually I…" Patrick took a few steps back, "…I'm fine right here."

Steve, still facing away, raised his hand to acknowledge he was still there. "I'm also fine right here."

Dr. Tennant shrugged. "Suit yourselves," he looked at Sally. "I feel I should warn you Sally: this is the big one, and it's going to be the most painful. So when I tell you to stop pushing, you do just that. Alright?"

Sally quizzically raised an eyebrow to him. "What do you mean by 'most painful'?"

"You'll found out in a few seconds."

"I don't want to find OW," Sally understood what he meant. "OW! FUCK!"

"Come on Sally, push!"

Even Steve couldn't help but cringe as Sally's cries only got louder and more agonizing than before, drowning out the doctor shouting for her to keep pushing and Patrick attempting to encourage her. It was in this instant that Steve realized two things. One: he really needed to call his own mother after this. Two: he was grateful Susan had a C-Section in the end. He certainly wouldn't be able to keep it together if Susan had to go through this much pain, so how in the hell was Patrick still standing?

He also wished he had an mp3 player with him so he could attempt to drown out the screaming.

"Stop!" Dr. Tennant instructed.

Sally let out a shrill cry of exhaust and fell back into Patrick's arm. "Oh, God!" Unsure of what to do, Patrick started wiping sweat off her forehead with his sleeve. "Don't touch me!" He immediately stopped after that.

"The head is out!" This time curiosity got the best of Patrick and he looked down. Instead of being disgusted, he was awed. He didn't find it gross, he found it bewildering. How the hell was something like this accomplished? This kind of thing didn't look normal, but he didn't want to say that out loud on the off chance he gave Sally a fright (hadn't she been through enough already?).

Sally didn't bother to look down though. She was lying back looking up at the ceiling and panting heavily. "Am I done now?"

"Almost," Sally closed her eyes and groaned while the nurse laid towels on her chest. "Just one more push and it's all over." Sally shifted upright and used whatever energy she had left to give one (hopefully) final push. Once she was done, she sank back onto the bed in exhausted relief—her cries of pain overwhelmed by someone else's crying. "You've got yourselves a healthy little girl," Dr. Tennant proudly informed as he laid the crying newborn on her mother's chest.

Sally opened her eyes and looked down at the bloody pink mass that was on her chest and gasped. She laid there wide-eyed and speechless as said bloody pink mass was being cleaned off right before her. Patrick couldn't form words as well, so he let out a few breathy, yet excited laughs trying not to shed any (manly) tears. Steve found himself tempted to look, but he opted not to—at least not until he had an okay from Patrick or Sally—so he stood there smiling to himself wishing his own wife and child were there with him.

The nurse turned to Patrick while holding a pair of scissors. "Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?"

"Yeah, sure," Patrick reluctantly took the scissors from her.

With a smile, she guided Patrick to where he was supposed to cut. "Yep, cut right there."

When Patrick did as instructed, the baby started crying louder. "I didn't hurt her did I?" With a chuckle, the nurse assured him he didn't before carrying the still crying baby off to be cleaned and measured. "Not even a father for a minute and I managed to screw it up." Patrick was surprised when Sally started laughing. "What?"

"Sorry," Sally stopped laughing, "it's not like you to assume the worst—that's my thing."

"But-"

"Trust me: you haven't screwed anything up yet."

He raised an eyebrow to her. "Yet?"

"Don't start anything with me now Patrick, I just pushed your baby out of me."

Steve couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "Get used to her playing the Mom card now, Patrick."

"What are you still standing over there for?" Patrick asked him.

"I'm waiting for them to clean the giant mess you made outside."

Patrick chuckled. "Get over here and congratulate me Steve, I just had a baby."

Sally gave him an 'are you serious' look. "You just had a baby?"

Steve laughed as he stepped out of his corner and gave Patrick a congratulatory hug. "Congratulations, mate." He leaned over and gave Sally a tender hug as well.

"Thank you, Steve."

Steve seemed surprised by that. "For what?"

"For being here, I really do appreciate it." Patrick also showed his thanks by patting Steve on his shoulder. "I'm actually kind of glad you stayed for this."

Steve smiled at her sincerely. "Me too."

"Okay," no one noticed the nurse until she made her way over to the group while carrying a blanketed (quieter) newborn, "I think it's time we all got acquainted with one another." The nurse carefully passed the baby to its mother as the guys watched with fascinated interest.

Sally held her daughter as if she had done it a thousand times before. The maternal instincts she tried to avoid for most of her life finally kicking in. This seemed so natural to her now. "Hello," she smiled at the infant. Slowly, Sally started unwrapping the blanket to count the newborn's fingers and toes. "Okay, that's all there." Then she took the hat off the baby's head.

Patrick gave her a confused look. "What'd you do that for?"

"Because I want to see her properly—without that ugly hat on," she stroked the small amount of hair atop the infant's head. "She has your hair."

"Really?"

"Oh absolutely, there are obvious hints of natural brown curls." Sally studied some more of her daughter's features. "Though I can't tell who she looks more like."

Patrick tilted his head to get a better look. "Like you."

"You sure?"

"Well she's beautiful; she obviously gets that from her mum."

Sally let out a watery laugh as she brushed a strand of hair back. "I'm not beautiful."

Patrick sat on the hospital bed and pushed Sally's hair back so he could see her face. "I think you've never looked more beautiful than right now." He leaned in to give his wife a kiss. Afterwards, he placed a gentle kiss atop his daughter's head.

"Do you know what I think? I think that you should hold your daughter," Sally transferred the baby from her arms into Patrick's arms.

During the transfer, the newborn started to squirm. Startled, Patrick backed off. "Sally," he tried not to panic, "Sally, she's…doing something." Steve did his best to suppress a laugh—this side of Patrick was kind of funny to witness.

"She just moved a little, that's normal. Now go on and hold her."

"That's okay; she seems comfortable with you."

"Oh honestly, Patrick. Now you know you're going to have to hold her eventually, so you might as well start now," Sally passed their daughter to her father and helped guide him on how to hold her. "Support her head," once she was sure, Sally sat back and watched them interact. "There see, you're doing fine."

"Now what do I do?" When Patrick looked at Steve, Steve put his hands up and gave him a 'don't look at me' type expression.

"Talk to her; she knows your voice."

"What am I supposed to say to a baby?"

"I don't know; just talk to her like how you'd talk to a normal person."

Patrick looked down at the infant. "Um…I guess I should talk to you…even though you can't understand a word I'm saying." The newborn responded to this by slowly opening her eyes and looking up at the person who was holding her. Patrick smiled back at her. "Hi." He looked up at Sally. "She's not screaming at me." Sally rolled her eyes at him. "I think she knows who I am."

Steve backed toward the door. "I can see I'm really not wanted here. So I'm gonna-"

"You still can't leave," the nurse didn't bother to look at Steve as she typed into the computer.

"-wait here and do nothing."

"Good boy," the nurse smirked as she completed another round of typing. "Okay," she addressed Sally, "the birth certificate is nearly completed," she turned to face Sally and Patrick. "Does Baby Girl Maitland have a name?" The first-time parents indicated that was a 'no' when Sally blushed and bit her lip and Patrick looked away from the nurse while whistling. The nurse couldn't help but laugh. "It's not unusual for parents to have settled on a name right away. Take as much time as needed."

Sally tried to look at the computer screen. "You have everything else recorded?"

The nurse nodded. "We have it recorded that Baby Girl Maitland weighed six pounds, four ounces and was delivered on Sunday the seventh of-"

"I'm sorry," Sally interrupted, "did you say the seventh?" The nurse gave Sally a strange look as she nodded. "You said seventh! I only just got here this afternoon it hasn't been a day. It should say the sixth."

"Well you delivered at 12:02 a.m. Once that clock struck twelve it became a different day entirely. You might have arrived at the hospital on May the sixth, but you delivered on May the seventh."

Sally's face fell. "Seventh?"

"We make sure the time is accurate by looking at the analog wall clock, the digital clock on the machines, and the watches on our wrists. So let me assure you: our timing wasn't off. I suggest you get over it and be happy you had a baby."

"Good advice," Patrick agreed.

Sally sighed. "I just don't like the number seven."

"It might be a bad number for you but it might not be for…the baby—seriously Sally have we even come close to finding a name?"

"No," Sally looked at Steve. "Steve, do you have any names in mind for a girl?"

"Please don't involve me in something that important," Steve begged.

"Are you sure you can't think of any suggestions for your goddaughter?" Patrick asked with a grin.

"No, and even if I did I…did you say my goddaughter? You want me to be her godfather?" Both of the new parents nodded. "Wow I'm…that's very…gosh, thank you."

"You want to hold her?"

"Wh—yeah, sure." Patrick stood and carried the baby over to her godfather. Having previous experience, Steve automatically knew what to do when the newborn was deposited into his arms. "Susan's going to be ticked when she finds out she didn't get to hold her first." Both men found this amusing.

"Well, what Susan doesn't know won't hurt her."

Steve swayed the babe in his arms a bit. "She's much lighter than Josh was when he was born…much quieter too." The baby then started to make a fuss so Steve passed her back to her father. "Guess I spoke too soon."

"She might be hungry," the nurse suggested. "Perhaps it's time that you try breastfeeding." The nurse noticed the guys react: Steve's face was screwed up in confusion and Patrick was looking down at his chest in puzzlement. "I was talking to Sally."

Steve let out an embarrassed laugh. "Clearly."

"Good," Patrick gave the newborn back to Sally, "I was wondering how that'd work."

"Uh-huh," the nurse gave the guys a strange look before turning to Sally. "It's best for mothers to start breastfeeding right after birth, but don't be alarmed if the baby doesn't latch on straight away. And it might seem odd to you if the baby licks the nipple but again, that's normal." Patrick turned his back to her and started to whistle nervously. Keeping his back turned (and continuing to whistle), he took off his suit jacket and tied it around his waist.

"Right," a nervous Steve nearly leapt out of his seat and headed for the door, "I think now's a good as time as any for me to..." the nurse gave him a negative head shake, "…go stand in the corner."

…

It seemed inevitable that Steve wouldn't be able to go home. No sooner had he (finally) gotten the okay to leave Sally's hospital room did he run into everyone else—the group most likely hurrying over once everything had been cleaned up. It had been apparent that they had all left the hospital at some point to change their attire and met up as a group to greet the newest addition (Susan had even brought Joshua with her). With an audible whine, Steve led the group back to Sally's hospital room.

"Back so soon?" Patrick asked after answering Steve's knocks.

Steve gestured to everyone else. "They all got together and decided that I shouldn't go home." Susan playfully swatted him. "Is it alright if they see the baby?"

Patrick stepped aside and gestured for them to go inside. A very excited Jane pushed her way through the mini crowd to be the first one in, Susan followed her while carrying Joshua—who bitterly stuck his tongue out at Patrick—and the rest of the guys made their way in last.

Immediately on sight, Susan, Jane, and Jeff broke into a simultaneous, "Aww."

"Bay-vee!" Joshua yelled out his observation.

Susan giggled. "That's right, that is a baby! It's Auntie Sally's baby. Can you say 'hi' to the baby?"

"No," Joshua buried his face in his mother's shoulder.

"No?" Susan couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Why not?"

"He must know it's Patrick's baby," Jane innocently remarked.

"Jane!"

"Well, he doesn't like Patrick and that baby is obviously Patrick's. Look at her she looks just like him."

"Are you kidding? That little girl is all Sally."

Both women turned to the man standing in between them. "Uh," Jeff nervously looked at them, "she looks like both of them." They both glared at him. In response, Jeff backed closer to Oliver and Steve. "I don't like conflict!"

Oliver put his hands up in surrender. "Don't get me involved; I think all babies look the same when they're born."

"So, what are we gonna call our little Patrick-Sally hybrid?"

"Not that," the girls simultaneously agreed.

"The baby doesn't have a name yet," Steve informed.

Jane looked back at the baby. "Of course she does. It says so on her hospital bracelet: Baby Girl Maitland. Interesting name choice; was it Patrick's idea?"

"Her name is not Baby Girl," there was annoyance in Sally's tone. "Steve's right, she doesn't have a name."

"What kind of parents don't give their child a name?"

"Yet, Jane! She doesn't have a name yet."

"Oh good, you had me worried for a second there."

"What about Olivia?" Susan asked Sally. "Weren't you always partial to the name Olivia?"

Sally nodded. "Yes, and I still like that name."

"So why don't you name her Olivia?"

"Patrick's slept with an Olivia."

"Three Olivias actually," Patrick corrected.

"So Olivia is out of the question."

"Plus Olivia's a little close to 'Oliver', don't you think?" Oliver pointed out.

"It'd be like naming her girl Oliver," Jeff commented.

"Sally, didn't you promise your grandmother you'd name your first daughter after her?" Susan remembered.

"I am not naming my daughter Eleanor," Sally was certain on that.

"Sally, you promised your grandmother on her deathbed!"

"That doesn't necessarily mean that has to be her first name. Middle name, fine; just so long as the name is in there somewhere. I'm sure my dead grandmother won't roll over in her…ashes—I forgot we cremated that one."

Oliver looked at Patrick. "What about you Patrick? Don't you have any suggestions?"

Patrick put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall. "Well, Sally technically had two names picked so she asked me to pick two. Naturally, I couldn't think of any."

"Surprise, surprise," Susan muttered.

"I figured since Sally had to use her grandmother's name, why not use my grandmother's name too."

"Oh, did you promise your dead grandmother the same thing?" Jane inquired.

"No, and both my grandmothers are still alive thank you very much."

"And I'm not particular to either of the names he suggested," Sally added. "I do think they're both fine for middle names though."

"It's just the main name we're having a problem with."

"Are you open to suggestions?" Susan asked.

"Suggest away." Nobody said anything. "Thanks a lot guys, real helpful."

"Why don't you name her after your mothers?" Susan asked after a beat.

"Because I hate my mother," Sally replied back.

"Well what about your mother, Patrick? Didn't she pass away a few years back? Why don't you name her after your mum?"

"Because my sister named her daughter after our mum," Patrick explained. "Do you know how awkward that would be if my sister and I had kids with the same name?"

Susan frowned at that. "I can't say that I do."

Patrick titled his head. "Now that I think about it: my sister and I were named after our grandmothers, so maybe my suggestions won't work."

Steve scrunched his face in confusion. "Did you say you were named after your grandmother?"

"Yeah, Grandma Patricia, my mother's mother."

"Ah, that makes sense."

"There was Nana Rose and Grandma Patricia, hence my sister being named Rose and me being named Patricia…Patrick," he quickly corrected as a few laughs escaped his friends. "You all know what I meant."

"I'm actually dismayed Patrick's sister beat us to the name," Sally noted. "I think the name Grace sounds nice with any last name—Gracie too—but you know my feelings on nicknames." Susan and Jane nodded while all of the men exchanged confused looks. "If you're going to pick a name you might as well use it."

"So you've been avoiding all names that can be shortened?" Oliver asked.

"Yep."

"No Rebecca, or Elizabeth, or Victoria, or Katharine- with a 'K' or 'C'?"

"Nope."

"Besides," Patrick began, "I've slept with a Rebecca, Elizabeth, Victoria, Katharine with a 'K', Catherine with a 'C', and most of their various nicknames."

"Hang on," Steve pointed at Sally, "didn't you say your mother's name was Gloria?" Sally nodded. Steve then pointed at Patrick. "And your mother's name was Grace?" Patrick nodded. "Both of those names start with a 'G'."

"Yeah, so?"

"So-"

"-why don't you settle on a name that starts with a 'G'," Susan completed Steve's thought. "That is where you were going with that right darling?"

"It's eerie how you do that thought completing thing."

"I knew you were going to say that." Susan turned back to Sally. "You could try that. Ooh, and because you're using Eleanor for a middle name the baby's name will spell out the word 'GEM'. That's both clever and cute."

"Or," Jeff raised his finger, "you can use all those middle name suggestions with the 'G' name and spell out the word 'GROPE'." All of the guys burst into laughter while Susan and Sally gave them disapproving glares. "Or not."

"Are you being serious or is this yet another pitiful attempt at being funny?"

"Well, it is possible to do that if you arrange the middle names options like that...and it happens to form a somewhat naughty word."

"This is how your mind works?"

"Susan," Steve gestured to his friend, "this man has nine thousand words for breasts."

"And counting," Jeff felt the need to add.

"You could do what my parents did and pull a name from out of a hat," Oliver suggested. "Wow, did that just make my parents sound like terrible people?"

"A little bit, yeah."

Then for no apparent reason, Sally burst into tears. "Hey," Susan set her son down and sat beside her crying friend. "it's okay, you'll find a name."

"But why is it so difficult?" Sally cried.

"Because it's an important decision. On the upside, you did settle on one middle name."

"And I hate it!"

"You did tell your dying grandmother you'd name your first daughter after her."

"She only asked me to do it because I'm the oldest! Susan, you should remember the stupid tradition the Harpers have."

"So break tradition."

"But I promised her as she was dying! You can't break a promise like that! God, why did she have to have such an old name?"

"Well she was your grandmother and I'm sure Eleanor was a popular name in her time."

"Even she hated her name! I hate that name! My daughter will hate that name! I don't want my daughter to hate her name—she might hate me because I gave it to her." Sobbing, Sally buried her face in Susan's shoulder.

All Susan could do was rub her back consolingly as Sally sobbed on her shoulder. "There, there."

Jane made a 'tsk' noise. "I told you should've just named her Sally Harper Maitland. Can't be worse than calling her Baby Girl."

"Not helping Jane!" Susan barked at her.

"Harper's not a bad name," Patrick finally spoke up. This remark got Sally to look at him. "Technically, that was part of your grandmother's name."

Everyone was awed by this, but Steve was the only one to be vocal about it. "Did something smart just come out of Patrick's mouth?" Patrick just shrugged in response.

"I never thought I'd say this: but Patrick's right, actually," Sally's statement made Patrick shrug again. "Ellie was my father's mother so Harper is technically-"

"I'm sorry," Susan turned and faced Sally, "Ellie?"

"That's what everyone called her. Like I said, Nana Ellie hated her given name so everyone called her Ellie."

"Ellie?" Jane titled her head in thought. "I actually do like that name."

"Yeah, me too," Oliver agreed.

"Me three," Jeff raised his hand in concurrence.

"I think it works," Steve sided with the majority.

Susan grinned at Sally. "You could've saved yourself a lot of trouble if you mentioned that beforehand."

"I…" Sally didn't know what to say, "…I like it too; but isn't it sort of unusual to use that as a given name?" She looked at her husband "Patrick?"

Patrick blew out a breath as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I've probably slept with an Ellie."

"Do you remember?"

Patrick moaned in agonized annoyance. "Please don't make me think."

"I suppose it is a good sign if you can't remember sleeping with an Ellie."

"I'd hate to ask," Oliver started, "but if you use the intended middle name as the first name, then what are you going to use for a middle name?"

"They've still got the 'G', 'R', 'O', or 'P' to choose from," Jeff reminded.

"Or a different middle name entirely," Steve pointed out. "Though it's probably best to choose from your current options to save time."

Jane raised her hand in excitement. "Ooh! Ooh!" Sally acknowledged for her to continue. "Since we used Sally's suggestion for a first name we can use Patrick's suggestion for a middle name. You could call her Ellie Harper Maitland."

"Wasn't that technically your suggestion Jane?"

"No Steve, both of her parents got to pick a name," Jane winked at Patrick who smiled in return at her. "I was just the first to approve."

Sally scrunched her face in confused thought. "I never actually chose the name Ellie."

"Yes, you did."

"No, I said it by accident and you all liked the name."

"No, you did choose it. Again, I was just the first to approve."

Sally smiled at Jane and Jane took it as a cue to hug her friend. "I'll never understand you as long as I live."

"Well, I am a very complex individual."

Sally was the first to pull away. "I know how I'm going to pay you back for all you've done today."

Jane whined in protest. "Sally, I asked you not to."

"No, I want to. I think you're going to like what I have in mind."

Jane sighed. "Okay Sally, what?"

"I want you to hold your goddaughter."

"What?"

"What?" Susan was caught off guard by that as well.

"I'm sorry Susan," Sally apologized, "but after all Jane's done for me today I think it's the least I can do to repay her." Susan nodded in understanding. "I'm really sorry if this upsets you."

"No, you're right. Jane has done a lot for you today while I got married without you there, and threw up on Patrick's suit after a rather terrifying elevator ordeal—sorry about that Patrick." Patrick gave her an 'it's cool' type shrug. "I admit I'm a bit surprised, but this is your child after all."

"You're just upset because you wanted to hold her before everyone else."

"Oh Susan, you can hold her before me," Jane insisted. "There's always a sort of pressure when a friend holds another friend's baby first."

"You wouldn't be the first," Patrick informed.

"Well, duh! Obviously you and Sally got to hold you own baby."

"So did Steve." Patrick noticed Steve's glare. "Oh right, we weren't supposed to tell Susan."

Steve looked at Susan and chuckled nervously. "Susan, did I tell you they picked me for godfather?" Susan stared back at him with her arms folded against her chest. "Well I believe I've earned it; I had to stand here as Sally gave birth! Birth!"

"You didn't see anything did you?" Jeff inquired.

"Jeff!"

"What's it like to see a baby come out of a-"

"I didn't look!"

"Is it like the seminal John Hurt moment?"

"Can we find a new topic of discussion please?"

Jane raised her hand. "Do Steve and I get wands?"

"Excuse you?"

"Like Cinderella's godmother? Do we get wands to do the pumpkin thing?"

"Oh my God."

"That was a fairy godmother," Oliver explained with heavy emphasis on 'fairy'.

Jane huffed. "Well what am I entitled too as a regular godmother?"

"Nice choice in godmother there Sally," Susan muttered to her friend.

Ignoring Susan, Sally leaned back and turned her head and observed something she found peculiar. "Susan," Sally pointed behind Susan, "what's he doing?"

Susan turned to see Joshua trying to push a hospital chair. This made her laugh. "Joshua Walker Taylor, what are you doing?"

"No see bay-vee," her son responded as he attempted to push the chair.

Susan laughed again, but—given the confused looks and awkward silence—no one else seemed to understand. "He can't see the new baby. He's trying to move the chair so he can get a better look. My little Einstein over there thinks that all chairs work like his high chair. Steve, help him before he hurts himself."

Steve couldn't wipe the grin off his face as he picked his son up and blew a raspberry on his cheek. "Come on, Daddy will show you the new baby." Steve carried Joshua over to the bassinet. "See the baby? Wanna wave to the baby?" Joshua stuck his tongue out at the newborn and buried himself in the crook of Steve's neck. "He likes her already."

Jane's eyes suddenly lit up. "I've suddenly come up with the most brilliant idea this week," she grabbed Jeff's arm. "Come help me research how to start a matchmaking site for babies."

Jeff just stood there confused. "What?"

"Afterwards we'll have sex."

"Okay," that got him to follow her out like a (horny) puppy.

Oliver clapped his hands together. "Speaking of sites, I'm sort of in the middle of an online auction for a video of the Star Wars Christmas Special…and yes, that exists. Craziness!" Everyone stared at him strangely. "Right, be seeing you all," Oliver awkwardly waved goodbye and left.

Steve exhaled. "Well, seeing as though everyone else is leaving we should probably-"

"Not until I hold your goddaughter," Susan interrupted.

"We should give Patrick and Sally some time alone with their baby. Then we can home and maybe, finally have our honeymoon night." Susan folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. It was no use, Steve wasn't leaving. "Dammit."

After scowling at Steve for a moment, Susan looked at Sally. "Can I hold her now?" Sally gestured for Susan to go ahead.

"Ah-ah," Patrick stopped Susan before she even got off the bed, "allow me," he stood over the basinet and carefully scooped up his daughter. Ellie got a little fussy but Patrick got her to calm down and then passed her to Susan.

"You know, I have done this baby holding thing before."

"Yes, but that's not your baby."

Susan smiled. "Well, well, well look whose paternal instincts kicked in. I must say: I rather enjoy seeing you like this Patrick."

"Is it me, or does he seem sexier than usual?" Sally asked.

"Oh yeah, very sexy."

"Oh, don't mind me!" Steve piped up. "It's not like I'm the father of your child or anything, Susan!" Susan couldn't help but chuckle. "Though yes, it is rather nice seeing this new side to Patrick."

Patrick looked at him with slight disgust. "Oh God, you're not attracted to me too are you?"

"No! No, it's just nice to have another father in our group. It won't be as weird talking about having a kid now that someone else in our group has one too. Maybe now I can have an actual adult conversation about children—which hopefully won't sound as pedophilic as I just described."

Susan sighed. "I still can't help but question what you men talk about when us girls aren't around."

"Sex, mostly," Patrick answered back. When disapproving looks were cast upon him, he only realized that it was a rhetorical observation. "I wasn't supposed to answer that was I?"

"Anyway," Susan was usually the one to instigate a new topic of conversation, "is it alright if Jane and I throw you guys a homecoming party? You know, like what you did when Steve and I brought Joshua home for the first time; is it alright if Jane and I do that for you?"

"I'm fine with it," Sally approved. She looked to Patrick. "Is it alright with you Darling?"

"Yeah, sure," he replied back. "Just don't go in the guest room."

"Honestly, are you still trying to keep that nursery a secret?"

"Wha—you know?"

"You're terrible at trying to keep secrets; I was bound to find out eventually. I had the perfect opportunity when you fell asleep five minutes into Steel Magnolias."

"I told you you should have locked the door," Susan commented.

"Patrick, I thought you knew that I knew!"

"I didn't know that you knew!" Patrick admitted. "How was I supposed to know that you knew?"

"Because I told you I knew!"

"Well then I wasn't actually listening!" It was afterwards that he realized what he blurted out. Times like that he thought he should probably think before he spoke. When he noticed the icy looks in his direction, he shifted a bit and rocked back and forth before finally asking, "So…did you like it?"

"Ah, the awkward question phase that comes after an accidental blurt," Steve smiled, "Has a nice sense of comforting familiarity when it doesn't happen to you." Susan glared at him. "Doesn't it?"

Sally's annoyed groan broke the awkward silence. "Yes Patrick, I liked it very much."

Patrick let out a breath. "Good; I worked really hard on it. And you were technically the first to see it, which is what I wanted."

"I was impressed; you did a fantastic job."

Steve turned to Patrick. "You put a whole nursery together?" Patrick nodded. "By yourself?" another nod. "And Sally liked it?" Sally nodded this time. "Wow, even I've never done anything like that for Susan."

"Believe me: I know," Susan grumbled to herself.

"That's another thing you don't know about Patrick," Sally began. "When it comes to romantic gestures Patrick has a tendency to go the extra mile."

"At first it was because doing nice things always led to excellent sex," Patrick felt the need to add. "Still does, actually."

"I suppose I've done the nicest thing by giving birth to your child."

"That you have."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

"No sex for six weeks."

"Six weeks?"

"Maybe even longer."

"What?!"

"I told you this, but I guess you just weren't listening."

"Face it," Steve started, "the only thing that'll be keeping you up all night is the baby."

Patrick was still shaken by this. "Six weeks without sex?"

"Maybe more. It's going to be hard to find time when taking care of a new baby." Patrick was too shocked to form words. "I realize this may be a challenge for you-"

"-but I'm sure you'll manage," Susan concluded.

"But the sex!" Patrick protested.

"Oh for God's sake, Patrick; sort out your priorities!" Susan carried Ellie over to him and situated the newborn in her father's arms. "Trust me when I say that any future sacrifices you have to make for this little darling will be worth it in the long run." Once Ellie was nestled in her father's arms, Susan went her son and his father. "I think now is as good as time as ever for the new family to bond."

Steve wanted to break into a smile, but he was still skeptical. "Really?"

"I got to hold my not-goddaughter, that's really what I wanted. Now, why don't we go home and do some bonding of our own?"

Steve seductively raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Seriously guys?" Patrick whined. Susan and Steve chuckled at that. "Don't be cruel!"

Susan rolled her eyes and went over to give Sally a hug. "Congratulations. Feel free to call if you need any help or advice, alright?"

"Thank you, Susan, but," Sally looked at her husband cradling their daughter and they shared a smile, "I think we'll be fine."

"Don't say I didn't offer then," Susan gave Patrick a hug as well. "Congratulations, Daddy."

A sudden realization dawned on Patrick. "Wow, that name feels so different in that context."

Sally made a disgusted face. "Patrick!"

"Well, I wasn't those other women's fathers."

Susan chuckled as she took Joshua from Steve. "Can you tell Sally bye-bye?"

"Bye-bye Sa-wee," Josh waved to Sally.

"Bye-bye Joshie," Sally waved back.

"Bye-bye bay-vee," Josh waved to the baby.

"Can you say bye to Patrick?" Susan requested.

"No!"

Patrick frowned. "Good riddance to you too, you little bugger." Patrick's form of goodbye came in the form of Josh sticking his tongue out at him. In retaliation, Patrick did the same.

"Honestly," Susan left the room rolling her eyes.

"Bye," Steve bade them goodbye before following Susan out. "Are we finally going to have that honeymoon night now?"

"Well, not right now," Susan quipped, "but once we get home I suppose we-"

There was the sound of a wailing newborn followed by two people desperately calling out for, "Susan!"

Susan huffed and passed Joshua back to Steve. "You were stuck with them for all those hours, let me return the favor," she kissed her husband. "Love you."

"Love you too," he responded as she turned back to help Sally and Patrick. Steve looked at his son. "I guess it's just us." Joshua yawned and settled himself in his father's arms. "Alright, I can take a hint. When we get home I'll put you to bed and Daddy…" Steve paused as a sudden burst of inspiration came to him, "…Daddy can get started on his writing."

…

"See," Jane was the first person to enter the flat, "I knew I left the door unlocked. Come on, let's do this."

"Is this really a good idea?" an unsure Jeff questioned as he stepped inside.

"Well we both want to try something kinkier don't we? Now let's do what we came here to do." Jane went into Patrick and Sally's bedroom while Jeff nervously started looking around.

Going through various photo albums, Jeff found what he was looking for. "It is real! Actual, photographic proof!"

"Found it!" Jane came back into the living room waving a video tape. "Sally's right, Patrick is terrible at hiding things."

"Is that the right one?"

"How many other videos can be labeled Sally, Motor Show, Sex?" Jane showed him the video tape clearly labeled Sally, Motor Show, Sex. "Wow, Patrick's terrible at labeling too. Did you find what you were looking for?"

Jeff displayed the photo. "Yeah! Actual, photographic proof of Sally as a cheerleader!"

"Good! Now we just find a replica of that uniform in my size, dress you up like an American football player, and watch Sally and Patrick's sex tape to see what moves they use."

"Excellent."

"Are you sure you don't want to have sex in their bed? I've had a few gos on it, it's very comfortable."

"Yeah, but I'm not really comfortable having sex on Patrick's bed."

"What about Steve's bed?"

"I have had sex on Steve's bed actually."

"With Julia?"

"With myself."

"I've had sex on Steve's bed with Steve—his bed his also quite comfortable. With his luck he's still probably spending his wedding night at the hospital. No point letting his bed go to waste now is there?" Jane pulled out her phone and dialed Steve's number.

"Hello?" Steve wasn't on the other end.

"Susan?"

"Yes?"

"You're not Steve."

"Obviously not. I'm still using his mobile."

"Are you at the hospital?"

"No, I'm about to park the car and go home."

"Oh."

"Did you want something?"

"Well…" Jane quickly thought on her feet, "…did I tell you about my new business venture?"

…

"That's lovely Jane," Susan was talking on the mobile as she entered her flat, "but what purpose do I have for an online baby matchmaking service…I'm not going to sign my child up for that…yes, well good luck with that…Jane, you phoned me so I had no reason for—actually yeah there is something: Sally is being released tomorrow I told her we'd throw her a homecoming party…yes, like what she did when I brought Joshua home…I was hoping you would help purchase decorations…alright, thank you...no…no…no, goodbye Jane!" she hung up. "An online dating site for babies? The things that woman comes up with," she hung her coat up and set her handbag aside. "Steve!"

"In here!" Steve called back.

Susan headed for the living room where Steve was sitting on the couch with his laptop. "Ah, I see we're actually doing some writing."

"I realized my previous writings were mostly dialogue heavy and vague on descriptions and actions; so I figured why not try my hand at screenwriting."

"Screenwriting?"

"I'm considering pitching a series about us to television."

"About us?"

"Us, our friends, our going-ons, and conversations. I thought that it might make for some interesting writing."

"Does this television series have a name?"

"I'm thinking of calling it Coupling."

"Coupling? Really? I think you can come up with a better name than that. Unless of course it took you all this time to come up with a title and you haven't done any writing." Steve closed the laptop and set it aside. "You mean to say you've spent the last few hours struggling with a title and did no actual writing?"

"Yes I did! A title is very important. It's very hard to come up with one that's somewhat original and hasn't been used."

"And you just have a basic, yet vague idea on what you want to write?"

"Most screenwriters incorporate real experiences into what they're writing. Most of the successful series are based on a writer's actual experiences."

"How are you going to start it?"

"What?"

"You've got to have a starting point. If you're going to base it on what goes on in our lives, what point in our lives are you going start it at?"

Steve only took a few seconds to think about that. "I was probably going to start when we began dating. I can use that as a television pitch and then if it gets picked up as a series find an event to use as a potential finale and each episode in between the pilot and finale will be based on something that happened in our group of friends."

"Yes well, try not to make it seem too much like the show FRIENDS."

"Dammit! I knew my idea was too familiar." Steve leaned forward with a defeated sigh. "Maybe I need to come up with something else entirely."

Susan started rubbing his shoulders. "You know, we still haven't celebrated our honeymoon."

Steve turned to her with a lustful look on his face. "Perhaps we need to rectify that Mrs. Taylor."

And…concluded.

Well, since it was the end I did make it purposefully longer and I tried to squeeze in as much references from the show (and even some from this fanfic) as I could. I also featured more of Steve because he is the central character, and I knew I had to end with him and Susan like the show did. And I claim no experience on childbirth- everything I know comes from TV and movies- but I figured the audience experienced it with Susan so might as well experience it with Sally so I did some research to make it seem somewhat realistic…

…but I couldn't resist those classic sitcom clichés (I was raised on TV, sue me).

As another surprise for you guys, I'm going to do at least one more Coupling story . I have an outline for it, and it's gonna be based on an episode of another popular ensemble show. So, look out for that in the near future.

Oh yeah, and I own absolutely nothing, I'm just borrowing stuff. Like my sister's birthday for example (May 7th)

Thanks again guys and gals. Peace out!