Nuther one shot song fic here. Not sure how this one turned out really. I've wanted to do something with this song for a while and this general idea has been in my head for several months now but still not sure about it. Though I do tend to be overly critical of myself but hey at least its better than having a big head right? Well hopefully it's decent and as always reviews greatly appreciated. The song used is Start Again by Red
And I remember everything, everything I loved
I gave it away like it wasn't enough
All the words I said and all you forgive
How could I hurt you again?
Slowly zipping up her suitcase Jade took one last look at the white room she'd been sleeping in for the past ten weeks. After hugging a few other patients in the clinic she'd befriended she made her way to the front office to collect the things she'd left there upon checking in. The receptionist behind the desk smiled brightly at Jade as she handed her belongings to the goth. Giving her a quick hug she whispered in Jade's ear "remember, one day at a time and if you ever feel yourself slipping just give us a call, anytime day or night. We'll do whatever it takes to keep you clean". Jade gave the woman a genuine smile but it soon faltered when she realized she probably didn't have a ride home. She hadn't heard from Tori in over five weeks. Not that she could blame her, after Tori caught her with the drugs last time that had been it. Tori kicked her out and didn't talk to her for weeks. Jade hadn't spoken to her family in years and she knew Cat couldn't come get her since she was in New Zealand filming a movie. Walking towards the doors she sighed as she reached for her phone and was dreading making this call knowing all the questions and pitying looks that would be thrown at her. As she was about to press send to dial Beck's number she was startled by honking up ahead in the parking lot. Tori climbed out of the car with an apprehensive smile on her face and eyes that were already starting to water.
What if I let you win? What if I make it right?
What if I give it up? What if I want to try?
What if you take a chance? What if I learn to love?
What if, what if we start again?
Jade shook her head and blinked a few times not believing what she was seeing. Her immediate reaction was to just turn in the opposite direction and walk away. She'd hurt Tori enough to last a lifetime and she wasn't about to take a chance at doing it again. She'd off herself before that happened. As she started walking she heard Tori calling her name and her footsteps getting closer. Had it not been for the heavy suitcase she was carrying Jade could've easily outrun her but Tori caught up to her quickly and grabbed her inadvertently knocking them both on the grass. Jade looked up at Tori with a look of bewilderment and anger before shoving her off and trying to get up. "Save it Vega, we both know this doesn't work between us, just go home and forget about me like you did five weeks ago". As Jade started to walk off Tori grabbed her wrist and pulled her so close that they're faces were barley an inch apart. Tori whispered "Jade, I didn't forget about you, I've just been busy planning things for when you got out". Tori started to lean in for a kiss but Jade pulled back and pushed Tori away saying "NO! No…you don't get to come waltzing in here like everything's honkey dorrey and expect things to be the way they were. Damnit Tori…I fucked up….I'm fucked up and no matter how much rehab I go through or therapy or whatever I know it wont fucking matter because I'll just keep hurting you. I always find a way to hurt you whether I mean to or not and I don't want that anymore…I.." Jade's rant was cut off as Tori forcibly grabbed the back of her head and brought her in for a long kiss.
All this time I can make it right
With one more try, can we start again?
In my eyes you can see it now
Can we start again? Can we start again?
Jade didn't fight the kiss this time. She melted into it as if it was the last one she'd ever have and in her mind it was. She still fully intended to walk away and never see Tori again. As Tori slowly broke the kiss she stared into Jade's eyes trying to read her. Jade reached down for her suitcase but before she could grab it Tori snatched it from the ground and said "here let me get that for ya" and began power walking to the car. Jade followed trying to grab the suitcase saying "damnit Vega, I already told you I'm not going with you. Hey! I'm talking to you!" After walking a few more feet and several failed attempts to retrieve the suitcase Jade started mumbling under her breath "damn stubborn woman, If I didn't love her I'd kill her."
Tori just turned to Jade and smiled while she loaded the suitcase in the back of her car and said "where do you think I got the stubbornness from. I learned from the best". Jade gave her an annoyed look but reluctantly climbed in the passenger seat of the car before saying "Look, I appreciate the ride but…like I said I can't do this…us..anymore. It'd be best for both of us to just.." Yet again her rant was interrupted by a kiss and as much as Jade kept thinking she should make Tori stop, her heart wouldn't let her. After breaking the kiss Tori placed her fingers on Jades lips and simply said "shhh" Jade was taken aback by the gesture and although normally she'd be furious about someone trying to order her to be quiet, it was Tori. And Tori could get away with murder as far as she was concerned. Not wanting to make Tori shush her anymore Jade turned her head and stared out the window wondering how she was going to convince Tori to just let her go and that it was for the best.
Emptiness inside me, wonder if you see
It's my mistake and it's hurting me
I know where we've been, how'd we get so far?
What if, what if we start again?
All this time I can make it right
With one more try, can we start again?
In my eyes you can see it now
Can we start again? Can we start again?
After several minutes of driving in silence Jade noticed Tori kept stealing glances at her. After a few more minutes Tori reached over and grabbed Jade's hand lacing their fingers. As simple as the gesture was it struck something inside of Jade and for the first time in months she started crying. Noticing this Tori quickly pulled over to the side of the road and pulled Jade close to her. Jade tried fighting her off at first but quickly sank into Tori's embrace breaking down completely in her arms. Several minutes passed with Jade crying and Tori trying to whisper comforting things in her ear .
Im lost inside the pain that I feel without you
I can't stop holding on, I need you with me
Im caught inside the pain
Can we ever start again? Im lost without you
Jade finally pulled back and stared into Tori's eyes intensely saying "T-Tori….I know I've fucked up big time..a-and I know I shouldn't even consider asking this but..I can't just walk away..I've been planning on it for weeks now but I just cant do it and..I just want to start again. I know that's a lot to ask of you all things considered but..I love you and.." And for the third time that day one of Jade's rants was interrupted by a kiss from Tori. After breaking the kiss Tori grabbed Jades face and held it close to her own and whispered "I've wanted nothing more than that for ten weeks babe, that's why I haven't been around or called. I've been doing some searching around and I've found us a place in New York we can afford and I've been talking to some people about some of the plays you've written and you already have several prospects wanting to turn your scripts into plays. I wasn't us to move there and leave all this bullshit behind and start all over..just you and I." Jade was speechless for a minute before her eyes started welling up with fresh tears and she pulled Tori into a tender kiss. After breaking the kiss Tori once again grabbed Jade's hand in her own and started the car back up. She turned to Jade and said "starting again, clean slate for both of us. Whets behind is us behind us and is never to be brought up again understand?" A smile and more tears slowly made their way onto Jades face and she slowly nodded and buckled her seat belt and prepared herself their new life together.
One more try, can we start again?
Can we start again? Can you forgive me now?
Can we start again?