Title: Booth Babes
Chapter One: The Curveball
Author: snarkysweetness
Rating: PG-13
Characters: August, Emma, Henry, Whale, Charming, Snow, Geppetto, Archie, Blue, Granny, Mulan, Ruby, Aurora, Killian, & Le Babes; Emma/August, Snow/Charming, Aurora/Killian, & Ruby/Mulan
This Chapter: August, Emma, Henry, & Whale; Emma/August
Summary: Emma isn't happy at the prospect of having another baby (her hands already being full with Henry), August is completely beside himself with the idea of being a father again, and Henry is just as insufferable as his father. When they're thrown a curveball will the Booth Family be able to get through it without killing each other?
Warnings: Mild language and sexuality, angst, and tons of fluff.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: I was discussing medical jargon with my wife because I wanted to give Emma horrible morning sickness so August would be adorable and protective while taking care of her and somehow the subject turned to twins. While we're both agreed that they'd only have one more child (a girl) the idea of Emma having twins and her reaction was hilarious to me. I was GOING to put this on the backburner because I still have like five fics from the summer I need to post until last week's Private Practice gave me all kinds of Wooden Swan feels because Cooper/Charlotte/Mason/Cooplets is basically Emma/August/Henry/Baby. Anywho, all angst in this thing is Shonda's fault and all fluff and feels is on me. I also couldn't help naming the fic after all the babes. This is nine chapters right now but it might be ten if I decide to add an epilogue. Enjoy!

"I'm what?"

Emma Swan, not Booth (no matter how many times he asked, she was not going to change her name, even if he eventually convinced her to marry him), had never been so livid in her entire life. Not when Neal had left her, not when Regina had framed her mother, not when August had revealed the truth to her, not when Killian had stolen her pseudo-sister's heart, and not when she discovered the full truth behind her lover's betrayal. Hell, she hadn't even been this pissed off when she discovered the drunken one-night stand she'd had the night before she met Neal was with August and he was Henry's biological father.

August Wayne Booth was going to wish he had stayed a damn puppet because she was going to eradicate him.

"Henry, how do you feel about being a big brother?"

Emma rolled her eyes, still pissed off, and watched August kneel next to Henry on the floor of their new house as they finished unpacking a box of his books to shelve on the bookshelf Geppetto had built for Henry's room. Henry shrugged and arranged the stack in his lap by author.

"Fine. To be honest, I'm surprised it hasn't happened already with the way you two are always-"

"KID!"

Emma groaned. The only reason she'd agreed to move out of the loft was because it was really awkward trying to have sex in such a small, open space with a kid around.

Henry shrugged again.

"What? You do. Why? Are you pregnant, mom?"

August and Emma's eyes met. Their kid was way too smart for their own good. August turned away from her with a huge grin as he ruffled Henry's hair, much to Henry's annoyance.

"Yes."

"Awesome! Go dad!"

Henry high-fived August and Emma scowled. She missed her adorable, precocious ten-year old. This teenage, hormone ridden version of her son was not endearing.

"I'm glad someone is happy," Emma grumbled, still not pleased that August had managed to knock her up. Damn bastard never remembered to wear a condom and her birth control failed. How in the Hell was she supposed to handle a teenager AND a baby?

"You're having twins, congratulations."

Emma wasn't sure who she wanted to strangle more, August or Whale. Her eyes darted to her lover and she lunged for him but he misinterpreted her anger and hugged her to him while she writhed against him, wanting to go for his throat. Henry and ONE baby was bad enough, but TWO OF THEM?

She had the overwhelming urge to cry, whether from anger or hormones, she wasn't sure. The urge to murder him went away as another all too familiar urge took over. She pushed August off of her and covered her mouth, searching for the bin. Henry held it up to her and she gave him a small nod of thanks before violently throwing up the contents of her stomach into the metal container.

August rubbed her back gently and whispered soothing words to her. Her hair now permanently remained in a ponytail because she was sick of getting puke in it when she didn't have someone to hold it back in time. She heaved a few more time before pushing the bin away from her. Henry took it and she leaned against August's chest, sobbing. She'd already endured eight weeks of this and during the last week it had become worse. She wanted to die most of the time. She was sick all day, she couldn't sleep, she felt weak all the time because nothing stayed down long enough for her body to do anything with it, and she was a bag of hormones.

These little demons were intent on killing her, weren't they?

"It's okay, Ems," August whispered, his lips in her hair, while his hands gently rubbed her belly.

"No it's not," she cried in a small whisper, unable to muster the energy to yell at him again. "I feel like I'm dying. Whale, what the Hell? It wasn't like this with Henry."

Henry smirked in the same smug way his father did when he was pleased with himself and Emma threw something from Whale's table at him.

"Stop that, it's not cute. Goddamn kid's just like you," she complained.

"I know," August said proudly and she wanted to punch him in the face.

"Emma, you had a condition called hyperme-"

Emma cut him off.

"Speak English to me, Doc."

Whale looked to August who just shrugged.

"Sorry, Whale."

Whale shook his head and sighed.

"You have a condition that sometimes occurs in cases of multiple births called hyperemesis gravidarum or acute morning sickness. Your body isn't retaining any nutrients-"

"No shit."

Whale ignored her.

"I'm going to admit you so we can set you up to an IV and get your body rehydrated with some nutrients. Then we'll get you on a new diet; lots of clear liquids, bland food, and b-vitamin supplements. There's nothing I can do for the vomiting, especially if Granny's ginger remedy hasn't helped, but you're almost out of your first trimester, so if you can ride it out, hopefully it will go away on its own."

Now she wanted to punch Whale in the face.

"I guess we're going to be eating a lot of cabbage," August teased.

"Ugh," she complained, "you and your damn cabbage." August had learned a bunch of crazy remedies on his many travels (the ones he had after leaving her pregnant and alone) and as much as she hated to admit it, a lot of them worked. A cabbage compress to the neck and chest for congestion and onions in your socks for a cold and all kinds of crap she'd never think to try. Those mixed with all of the remedies from their land and modern medicine seemed to be useless, but Emma was set in her ways. Her baby-or rather babies-would be born in a sterile hospital with Whale and nurses and medicine she felt comfortable with. Not in a cot in the back of granny's with some boiling water and towels.

"I'll go get a room ready for you. Sit tight."

Emma glared a hole through Whale's back as she reached for something to throw at him but August pulled her against him and took her hands in his, trying to restrain her as gently as possible.

"Cara mia," he cooed, running his hands through her hair, trying to relax her. "Non ti preoccupare. Tutto andrà bene." It was usually a turn on when he went all Italian on her, Hell, she was pretty sure that was how they'd ended up in this mess, but she was not having it today. She pushed his hand away and pouted, much to his amusement. August chuckled and kissed her temple. "Ti amo," he offered, reaching over to massage her lower back.

Emma opened her mouth to snap at him but his hands felt really good on her achey muscles.

"I'm still considering turning you back into a puppet with my magical love heart and lighting you on fire."

The moment she said it burst into tears.

"No, I didn't mean that. I'm horrible. What is wrong with me?"

Henry looked up from his cell phone where he was probably sexting one of his friends and rolled his eyes.

August reached for her and drew her against his chest.

"Shhh, you're pregnant and horomal, it's okay. I know you didn't mean it. I have a pregnant Emma filter. You say whatever you want, I won't take it personally."

Emma sucked in a deep breath, trying to stop her sobbing, sure it wasn't good for the babies.

"It's not okay, August! You can't let me talk to you like that! I don't care how crazy and pregnant I am!"

He smiled and reached for her belly again.

"Fine, I wont." After a silent moment he hesitantly spoke. "So...putting the whole babies are sucking up your nutrients thing, am I allowed to be excited? Because...you know..."

"You don't want to piss the mental patient off?"

"I wouldn't put it in those terms, but-"

She let out a resigned sigh. She'd been grumpy about being pregnant for weeks; she supposed she could allow him to be excited. He'd missed out on Henry, which he'd yet to forgive himself for, so he was all about doing it right this time. She knew most women would love it, but she'd been too bratty about this whole thing to appreciate it.

"Go for it."

August's smile turned into a large grin.

"What do you think, love? A boy and a girl? Or two girls? I do like the idea of being surrounded by beautiful women," he teased, rubbing a small circle on her oversized belly.

At least now she knew why she was so fat this early on.

"Hey!"

Henry looked up from his phone and August winked.

"You too, kid, I won't forget about you."

The two exchanged looks, doing that annoying thing Emma hated where they spoke without words.

"What about two boys?" Henry chimed in, excited enough to toss his phone to the side.

She closed her eyes, a part of her wanting to join in on their conversation, but the stubborn, Emma part of her refused to do it. She was still pissy about all of this and she was unwilling to budge on it just yet. Especially when she'd have to spend time hooked up to a damn machine with a needle in her arm.